So, I have a house guest. It's my friend Andrew. I usually stay at his house on the way to Maine. He wanted to come down here for a couple days to attend a few Mets Vs. Phillies games. I said... No problemo! Mi casa es su casa. Or something like that.
So, we're just chilling.
House guests are actually nice because it gives you that outside eye and makes you look at everything in a different way... AKA what do you need to clean.
Tonight was my third acting class. I LOVE it. It's so much fun. My next goal is to get headshots and then get cast in something small and start building an acting resume.
We'll see. I've also been communicating with my trustee on a business proposition. Basically what I proposed is that...
They hook me up with industry contacts in Hollywood. In exchange for that (and I'm not sure if it's even possible, so it might not even be possible), we create a sub company within the trust that the trust then purchases 100 percent of the shares of that company.
Then the trust basically becomes 100 percent lender/investor in that company. Then that company makes an investment in me... As an artist.
Then when I make money from my creative ventures... I return that money to the company... The company then books those as profits. And then perhaps the company can pay out a dividend and the dividend then goes to the shareholders...
100 percent of which are owned by the trust. SO the trust realizes income from that company in the form of a dividend.
So, let's say that the bank can hook me up with... Let's say someone at the bank knows Katy Perry for example. Or Kanye West. Or maybe it knows any other major recording artist.
Then that recording artist and myself record a song. We then release the song. And sell the song...
Let's say the song realizes a million dollars in profits. And let's say myself and that artist split the profits... Like... maybe 50/50. So then... a half million dollars goes back into the company that the trust owns.
Then that company now pays for me to make more music. Or maybe it now pays for me to audition for a movie. I get the part. Let's say that part pays 2 million. I then put that 2 million paycheck back into the company and then maybe the company pays a dividend back to the trust of... let's say a quarter of all its quarterly profits.
So... Basically instead of myself being employed or contracted by a movie, or my books that I sell, or my music...
The company that I'm CEO of and the trust is 100 percent share holder... Then realizes 100 percent of my income as an actor/musician/writer.
What's in it for the bank? They get to manage the trust portfolio and also realize an annual fee... on those trust assets.
Just like a portfolio manager could buy shares in any publicly traded company within the trust... He could buy 100 percent of the shares of my media company that I am the CEO of that company.
As that company grows in value, so do the shares.
I act. I write. I make music. The company itself pays for my travel expenses. But it also get s income on behalf of my work.
But I also get paid a small salary as CEO.
Ideally, I use the bank's industry contacts to help me start a career in music, books, movies...
And then in return, the bank gets to manage my money for me... Within the trust.
I mean, it's a pretty fantastic and kind of crazy, networking opportunity... But it just might work.
Basically... I want to make music, write books, and act in movies...
SO in short what I told the trustee was... You're a bank in Beverly Hills, and maybe you know people. If you DO know people... Let's work together to see what we can make happen. You know?
It might be a terrible idea. I really honestly have no idea what I'm doing here.
Oh... For the acting class though, there's no acting class next week because the acting class teacher is going to be at a premier. It's down at the UA Riverview theaters in South Philly... She actually worked on the movie. She did the casting for the movie! How cool is that?
I think I'm going to go. She said we didn't have to go. She just mentioned it. But I really want to go to show support. The name of the movie is Voiceless.
So... Yeah. We'll see where all this goes. Of course next Friday I have that IT networking event up at the Steel Stacks in Bethlehem. I'm just all over the place these days!
But I mean... It's fun. I'm really enjoying being active. Just trying to do as much as I can with my days these days. Be productive and active. Work hard, play hard... All that good stuff. Try to network as much as possible and see what opportunities come up.
You never know where things might lead!
So, something interested has kind of, caught my attention from all this testing I've been doing.
If you stand around long enough drinking a beer, and throw words in the direction of enough people... Eventually some of them toss words back.
So here's how this has been going. When I went to my first festival this warmer air season... I basically wasn't expecting much. Obviously the whole point of ALL of this has been to meet a girl.
Since that's not happening... I'm kind of seeing where the unintended consequence thing goes.
Let me side track for a minute. Most things in life, will not work out the way you intend them. Actually, I'll argue that ALL things in life won't. You'll start doing one thing and then something else comes out of it. Or it takes another direction. Most stuff in life is... Very... Predictably unpredictable.
This is how things have gone with the festing. What I found is if you hang out long enough, and even just stand around, there will usually be something that happens that forces you to talk to someone. Most of the time it's things going "wrong".
Someone drops something. Something happens where you have to help someone fix something.
This kind of stuff is what connects and binds us. Everyone hates when things go wrong. But things going wrong are kind of the glue that brings people together.
Sneezing. Borrowing sunscreen. Someone trips and drops the contents of their bag.
Without this stuff... A lot of conversations never would get started.
If you go to an all day drinking festival, stuff will happen. It's the nature of how it works. Let's say there isn't beer... You bump into people anyways. But... Add beer? People are more clumsy with beer. People are more likely to talk to each other. It's an amazing substance really. It let's random strangers totally strike up a conversation and sit there chatting for an hour without even realizing that the time has flown by.
It's fantastic. without beer? I probably would talk to someone for 5 minutes before getting bored.
With alcohol? I'll talk to you for an hour easy and not even realize it was an hour.
Alchohol binds us because it induces things to more likely go "wrong" which then give us even more of a reason to connect even more. It's fascinating really, It's the reason why people who work together for years, suddenly find themselves making out at the end of a work party happy hour because they are totally both sauced. Maybe they regret it the next morning at an early morning office meeting. Or maybe they end up tying the knot years later.
Without alcohol, they would have just come in to work at 9am and punched out at 5. It also makes two people that aren't physically attracted to one another... End up together.
Crazy stuff if you ask me. But as Homer Simpson once said... "Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems."
So okay... Well on Saturday I go to this Can Jam event at Sly Fox. I end up staying the entire time and completely close the place down. I had NO idea that an old friend...The guy that recorded trumpet on one of my songs "Embers", was going to be playing there. It was an awesome surprise. And after I chatted with him I ended up talking to a whole bunch of other people.
Then yesterday, I went to Celtic Fest. I ended up striking up conversations with lots of people there too. Here's the thing... early on in both of those festivals, I tried to start conversations...
No one was feeling chatty. It was tough going. The conversations would fizzle out. People weren't interested.
2 or 3 drinks later for all of us? Chats galore.
Alcohol is amazing like that. It makes people that would normally be completely disinterested and not even give you the time of day...
Talk to you for an hour.
The other thing is... You just have to keep chatting. If one person isn't feeling a conversation... You just bid them farewell and chat up the next person. Eventually someone... Will keep chatting.
Eventually there will be a connection. Go to enough places... Talk to enough people... Something will happen.
So what happened at Celtic Fest?
I ended up befriending a guy that does IT stuff. So he invited me to this networking thing for IT people in the higher ed community up in Bethlehem. There will be people from nearby colleges there... And as well some other technology firm reps.
Okays so YES... It's mostly a networking event to try and get reps to pitch their sales things for their IT firms to try and get in with colleges.
But, I'm up for checking it out. It's a couple weeks from now.
I figure... Let's see where it goes?
I mean, the whole point here is to meet the girl I some day marry. Who knows... Maybe there will be a girl there at that event that will be the one. Or maybe I then end up networking and chatting with some other guy or girl who is friends with someone who is friends with someone... Etc. etc.
Think about all the people that have ever gotten married. Those two people had to "find" each other some how. Everyone married right now.... At some point.... Didn't know each other. And most people were introduced to each other by someone else. A mutual friend. A connector.
This is how I got to where I'm at right now with the acting class. I went to my next-door neighbor's play. Then I went to the movie screening of an actor that was IN the play. Then I went to the xfinity live event. Then from there I went and signed up for this class.
Now I'm getting to know these people in this class. Maybe one of the people from that class will then have a party or something and I'll get invited to that party.
Networking. And booze. I mean okay yes, you can network without booze. But it DEFINITELY helps with the conversation to have a couple drinks. I'll tell you that for sure.
My thing about this whole "finding love thing" is... okay so on the dating sites.... You just sit there and click. You swipe, and click. And then you talk and talk. And it's REALLY hard to get a connection just by messaging back and forth. When you finally meet in person, that is IF you finally meet, they are usually nothing like the impression that you had on the site. Then you have to re-adjust for that.
Online dating though, it's... It's kind of cheap. What I mean is... Okay... Let's say I go to like 15 different leads. I meet someone at a festival. I then go to a networking event. I then from there end up becoming friends with someone who has a party and invites me to the party. I then end up going with some other friends to some other event from that party. I then become close friends with someone I meet there... I then am introduced to that person's old college roomie... Or something. And THAT's the girl I marry.
That connection is SO much stronger. That story gives our connection SO much more substance than...
We both swiped right.
There's just no... trail leading up to it. There's no genuine substance behind it.
And I feel like, that's why I'm not meeting someone. Because by doing the online dating thing... I'm ruining the pathway that is trying to lead me to her.
See, all these years I've probably almost been lead to her. I've probably crossed paths RIGHT beside her. But because I was maybe at a restaurant on a date with someone from online dating... I missed bumping into her. Because I was walking along staring at my phone clicking on profiles on dating sites...
I walked right by her. And maybe she was doing the same.
Maybe we've even looked at one another's online dating profiles. But because text is missing 99 percent of who a person ACTUALLY is... There's no attraction.
That's the problem with my Facebook.... and this blog.
It's not my smile. It's not my laugh. It's not me telling a joke and making someone else laugh.
It's not me as a person.
It's just words. On a screen.
But these encounters I have at these festivals. They are different. They are like... a thousand blogs over the course of just a few minutes of interacting with someone.
Anyways so on my search for that girl that I some day marry.. I mean YES maybe I'll meet her in online dating. But I'm just you know, pondering... Maybe I shouldn't be online dating? Maybe I should just live in real life. Maybe I should just go with the leads that are sent my way. The networking events. The acting classes. The festivals.
When a friend tells me I should check out a new restaurant. When a friend introduces me to another friend at a concert.
Science After Hours. You know... Just... Connect. Go from connection to connection until someone introduces me to someone and says...
"Oh, this is my friend..."
And that's it. We turn to face one another and it's just like... Oh... Hi. And something clicks.
Something that could never have clicked in all the swiping and online dating.
It's worth a shot.
So, I'm going to go to this little IT networking event and see what comes of that. Maybe it's just some cheesy sales pitch... Or maybe it leads to some new job entirely because I end up networking with someone that works at another college or something and they recruit me.
Or maybe I end up sharing a drink with someone in the back of the room and we both think that the event is TOTALLY bogus and we both start cracking jokes and then me and her realize that we like one another's company and we say to each other...
"You wanna get out of here? Go grab a drink somewhere else?"
"Totally. This trick is bogus. Let's go crash a party in New Pretty Town..."
"Oh my God... You've read that book too?"
"Way. Let's get on our hover boards and get out of this place."
No one can ever predict the outcome of anything really. Sometimes... You just have to see where it goes.
I bet most people that are married had no idea they were going to marry the person when they first met them. They just kind of... Went with it and low and behold... It led to getting married.
So, dating sucks. It's just really hard to meet single people in the real world... They all pretty much already are married or have babies at this point...
I've tried it all...
There's no one at work. There's no one at the gym. There's just no one in the real world
You name it... The real world dating part is just... Doesn't seem to work for me.
So, then there's online dating. Online dating... Just stinks. It really does. Like, there's this whole swiping or matching thing. Most people never match. So like out of maybe 100 swipes, for example, on Bumble... I'll get one that swipes me back.
So, we start chatting. Then usually... They just stop responding. It's terribly frustrating. Sometimes it's maybe 2 or 3 messages... Or sometimes it's dozens. Sometimes when you finally ask for their number, they just stop responding. Or you ask them out for coffee, or a drink. Stop responding.
If you get to the point where you HAVE a drink... maybe they keep texting you for a few days... But mostly they just kind of... stop responding. That's just how it goes.
Then every now and then there's one where you go on a handful of dates. But then they have some reason... There's usually another guy they were also seeing and they decided that they were seeing him longer and would rather be exclusive with him instead.
So it's back to swiping. Sometimes you get the ones that respond sporadically. Or they take forever to respond. Then maybe they respond a whole bunch... Then not for a week or two. Then a whole bunch... And not for a week or two.
And you just have to be patient and respond when they respond and just play the game. It's just a game.
The worst is when you actually are interested or like someone... Then there's the whole... DO they actually like you back? You try to NOT like them all that much because if they DON'T like you back... and you start to like them more and more... You'll just get hurt when they stop responding.
It's just the worst. Because almost always every time when you start to like someone, or you start to think it MIGHT actually go somewhere...
Nope. Usually there's just another guy they are more interested in.
Which sucks. But that's dating.
So, I do the in person thing... Like festivals. The problem with festivals... There's SOOOO many married people with kids. Baby strollers as far as the eye can see.
It's terrible... For a single person at least. I sat down today at Celtic Fest to enjoy some food, and a 5 year old popped out from under the table and scared me half to death.
I want a festival where I can meet people in person, that are ALSO single... and there aren't kids popping their heads out from under tables at me.
I want strollers to be not allowed at this event.
I want couples kissing in the beer line to not be a sight I have to see.
Instead... It's a festival... of ONLY single people.
Music... DJs and live bands. A dance floor. Food trucks as far as the eye can see instead of strollers...
Beer. Wine. Contests.
It's just a party. There's games. Giant jenga. Giant connect four.
But you know what there isn't? Couples. Married people. Baby strollers. Kids popping their heads out from under tables.
Singles Fest will be a closed area, you buy a ticket and you have to check in with two forms of ID. You have to sign into Facebook and show your relationship status. We look at ring fingers.
And we publish a list on our website for the event of the names of people who attended. This is for two reasons:
- If you are there and you ARE actually in a relationship... Your significant other will know.
- If you meet someone but didn't get their contact info.... You can send a request for it and they can decide to give it to you. We'll have a fancy app where people sign in and make profiles.
I think that would be fun. I think it would be easier to meet someone. And maybe we'll have two or three different fests... like one for 20s one for 30s etc. etc.
Basically it's similar to a singles cruise, but instead of that whole process of booking a cruise and flying to the cruise etc. etc. these are local events in each city.
Just an all day festival for singles.
I WISH this existed. I'd definitely go to this.
Tonight I'm at my acting class. They asked us if we'd like to throw our name in the hat for a gig this weekend.
I was like... Sure, let's do this!
My original plans include drinking beer at this Can Jam fest up at Slyfox and going to Celtic Fest in Bethlehem.
But I said... I'm willing to give up my beer drinking time to start building an acting resume.
I'd RATHER be drinking beer. I mean, wouldn't we all though?
But one of the other people in the class is like... "Bro, you can drink beer and play kan jam any time. Put your name on the list and see what happens."
I'm like... "True. You are very wise."
SO I signed up.
He's right. There's always beer. There's always beer, or wine. And chocolate. There's always chocolate.
After class I went to get gas and to the gym. I tried a new Planet Fitness. It's near where I used to do this church thing back in the day up in Audubon.
I felt pretty good after a half hour on the treadmill. I mostly walked and read at a fast clip, but I also did a little running as well for about 10 of the 35ish minutes on the treadmill.
Actually, tonight was filled with lots of mood lifting things...
Wawa Hot Turkey Gobbler
Starbucks iced coffee (Cold Brew)
Glass of wine (happening right now)
It's a good day. And now I have those words repeating in my head... There's always beer. It's true though. There may not always be acting opportunities... Or job opportunities in general.
Or like in my quest for love... I've got no leads at the moment... SO, there's not always love.
But beer? Wine? Chocolate? Gym time? Coffee? Wawa?
There's always that.
It's ALWAYS there.
I feel kind of happy with that thought. Knowing that I always have things in life that I can enjoy.
Love would be fantastic... But, oh well... who knows, maybe it's just not in the cards for me. I guess there are some people that never find someone.
But hey, at least they can always drink a beer. At least they can always go take classes and meet new people, and munch on chocolate when they get home after going to the gym... Enjoy a nice glass of wine before bed.
Anyways we'll see if I get a call for Saturday or Sunday. If not? I'll be heading to my previously planned events.
Tomorrow night I'm going to The Melting Pot. I've never been, so that should be fun. We HAD a whole group of us going, and everyone had excuses... SO now now it's just three of us.
That's one thing about me... When I say YES to something... I'm there. No matter what. I'm there. I don't tend to cancel on people.
The teaching said that people in the acting thing sometimes just don't show. That blows my mind! Life is pretty simple when you get two concepts down...
ALWAYS SHOW UP. If you can't for some reason... call ahead. Make sure to call as SOON as you know you can't make it. But if you commit to something... Commit to it. Don't just decide at the last minute that you're not going to show up.
There's an old saying... 80 percent of life is just showing up. And it's kind of true. Just show up. Be reliable. People like reliable people. Because there are a lot of unreliable people out there.
The other part of all this... Show up on time. SO not only show up.... Be there on time.
Anyone that lives by that... has instantly increased their odds of being successful dramatically in life.
Always show up. And show up on time. Just trust me.
Also, there's always beer. So don't make that a priority. If something else comes up... You can always drink beer later. Beer isn't going anywhere. It will be there for you tomorrow.. Or next week. Or next year. If there's an opportunity. Take the opportunity and drink beer later. Or drink wine, if you don't like beer. Or eat chocolate. Whatever it is that you indulge in. It will always be there. Trust me.
Last night I went to Science After Hours Wizard School Night. It was the best. The usual Science After Hour stuff.
I parked in the garage instead of parking at my secret free spot. I think I'm just going to park in the garage. It's not too terrible, although it is a LITTLE on the pricey side... But, I feel like it's worth it. I mean, just to be able to go right to my car once the night is over is so much easier.
A lot of the people there Uber or walk or get rides back to their places. There's a lot of people that go who live in the city. The friend that I went with lives in the city.
I might one day buy a crashpad in the city... But I have no plans to actually live in the city proper.
So let's see... yeah I mean the night was fun. I plan to go to the remaining two that are on the schedule. One those on the schedule are on Halloween night. I might put up a note on my front door saying that my neighbor has double candy for my house and his. I'll have to ask if he's willing to do that.
My favorite part about last night was that my workplace had a spot there. They have a Quidditch team and there were there with a makeshift Quidditch pitch and playing matches.
It was great. I said hello to one student last night and chatted with him this morning about it.
Anyways next up on my events schedule is...
My second acting class. That should be fun. I'm just having fun with it for now. We'll see where that takes me. The next thing after acting is a night out with a group of friends to The Melting Pot. I've never been to The Melting Pot. It's restaurant week and they are having a deal... SO a group of us snagged reservations...
I'm sure that will be a blast! I have other things planned to.
Tonight was low key, I came home and made dinner, then went to the gym and the store after working on music for a little bit. I'm ready for this Fall weather... Just want to enjoy the change of seasons and really take it all in.
As far as dating goes... I've got a few conversations on the dating sites... So, we'll see where some f those head... You know, any more though, I'm just more interested in keeping my schedule busy. Love would be great... But it's something that you can't just make happen. No one can find love... It finds them. So, I just have to keep being patient that one day it just comes to me.
For now... I work, I play... and I just keep going about my days.
It's interesting. The end of this video "We Don't Talk Anymore" by Charlie Puth (Which by the way, I love this song)...
If you look closely you can see the two people that aren't together anymore each going to type something to one another, but then they delete the message and never send it.
I can't tell you the amount of times I've done this. There are SOOOO many nights that I wrote texts, or emails... That I ended up deleting and never sending. Usually it's because I've had a drink or two... Or three. Maybe if I'd had that fourth drink... I would have sent it...
I imagine maybe there were people that might have done the same to me. But, just like they will never know the messages I never sent, I'll never know the messages they never sent.
It makes me wonder... All the couples out there. All the couples though history. The amount of messages not sent. The amount of people that could have been together if one thing had changed. But instead they are with someone else. All of the people married right now, almost ended up with someone else.
I'm not gonna lie I actually almost sent a message to someone last night I hadn't spoken with in a long time. But I decided against it. You know, just a "Hey.. How are you?" kind of message. Not going to say who it was... Just someone I was reminded of recently.
It's a strange little world we live in here on this tiny floating ball in space. Though out history... All the people that almost contacted one another after they fell out of contact.
I bet it happens so often. I bet on a daily basis there are at least thousands of people almost sending one another messages. Maybe they've had a few drinks. Maybe they hear a song that reminds them of the other person. Maybe they go to a place where they once had been with that person.
It's that strange mechanism that works in our minds call "Missing someone". Or being reminded of someone. You'd think that if that was that, and two lovers weren't meant to be... They would instantly forget each other after it were over. They wouldn't miss each other. They wouldn't even think about each other.
But that's not the case. Right now there are probably countless number of people all over the world missing one another that do not currently talk to each other.
Most of the time the missing someone mechanism has a good purpose. It makes us remember to contact people we might not have spoken with in a few days, or weeks. People in our lives like family, or good friends. People that generally don't sever ties on purpose, they just kind of forget to call each other, or message each other for long periods of time.
But lovers? Lovers sever ties on purpose. There's no way around it. Two people that used to be romantically involved generally can't be friends until both people no longer have romantic feelings.
Usually when people break up, as in this song, it's because one person didn't love the other. So in this song, Charlie was still wanting this girl, but she had met someone new.
This happens SOOOOOO often. People leave each other. People break up with each other for new people... The saying is... "Oh, they broke up". Which is a funny saying because I've never once had it be mutual on the breakup "We" broke up. It's always... person A broke up with person B. It's never... Both people decided to leave one another. It's either been that I was interested and she broke it off, or she was interested and I broke it off.
I've never had it where both of us were just like... not interested.
But the point is, friends is never an option, at least not at first. Like, I'm friends with all my exes except one... Miss Daylight. Why? Because if I did see her in person even to this day... My heart would still skip a beat. If I saw my other exes? I'd just hand shake it out and be like so how's life?
Also even just thinking about Miss Daylight with someone else makes my stomach turn. Where as my other past loves? I don't know, I feel very little emotional reaction. With all my other loves... I'm just like... Well that's cool that you found someone.
I often think about this path in life that we all take and the people we meet. For example... I won't ever meet 99 percent of the people on this planet. There's BILLIONS of people. It's just mathematically not possible for me to meet most of them. That means, that each person I DO end up meeting... Is like... Almost astronomically impossibly small odds that we both ended up being at the same place at the same time.
I think about what Charlie thinks about.... What was it all for? IF things don't work with someone... That's usually the biggest question. Why did I even meet that person in the first place? Who knows. Maybe 10 years or 20 years down the road it will make more sense. I feel like I still have trouble making sense of the people I've met.
But who knows... Maybe in 5 or 10 years I'll be like... Ohhhhhhh. Maybe I'll end up meeting someone that both of us become COMPLETELY inseparable. I guess right now, it's hard to imagine that there will be someone that I'll do all those things with that people do when they meet "the one". Like right now... All the people I currently know.... I'm just like... There's no one that I could... See myself being married to. There's no spark. There's no... even... in my mind... "Yeah, you know, I could possibly see myself marrying that girl in a few years."
I mean, okay yes, there are girls that I've had crushes on... I mean obviously the girl that really captured my heart the most was Miss Daylight. But it wasn't mutual. Which is fine. I'm definitely okay with that. I gave it a pretty big try with chasing her. I chased her all over... To church even.
I've pretty much given up chasing her. Even if I still haven't given up these feelings for her.
But hey who knows... maybe one day there will be a girl that I'll just be completely caught off guard by. But it's also possible that I could fall for someone new and then that doesn't work out either. There's never a guarantee that a couple will last. And then they become someone that you are missing and think about from your past.
But it's still very curious... Of all the pathways we could have taken. Of all the people we could have met. We meet the people we meet.
And those odds are just so astronomically tiny.
Not only did we have to be alive at the same time, which is a small window on its own compared to the entire history of humanity and the timescale of the universe... But we had to be in the same place at the same time to bump into each other.
But NOT ONLY that... We had to then have a reason to connect. Think about all the people we cross paths with but never connect up. The grocery store for one. No one ever meets people at grocery stores.
Even like last night I was working on my book and I started chatting with the bar tender while I was writing. Then when I went to leave the bar... Even though we chatted for a good solid 2 hours....
I went my way, and she went hers. I can't tell you her last name even. I'll probably never see her again in this life. But her and I weren't super connect-y. Like... She had a different personality that wasn't compatible with me. I can't explain it... But I tend to connect better with creative people, or theater-ish artsy people... Or people that are more raw or emotional... or interesting... Or unique. Or just... run to a different beat of a different drum.
This girl... Very normal. Very plain. Very fit in. She'd going a masters degree in sports something.... She basically seemed exactly the kind of girl that everyone would consider "normal".
Typical Philadelphia accent. All the typical Philadelphia things... Goes down the shore with her family in the summer. Goes to Phillies games. Like basically... She's just... Super predictable.
I connect with people that are like... Entrepreneurial. That are creative, or inspiring. They read a ton and think a ton. They want to change the world. They are just... You know, something you can't quite put your finger on. But there's something about them that makes you do a double take and you go wait a minute.
Bar tender girl just didn't have any of that. At least in the 2 hours that we chatted. She thought it was interested that I was writing a book, she said she could never write a book. I said, "You don't know until you try!" She said she didn't have a creative bone in her body.
I shrugged and said okay.
So we didn't even have that special something that we could connect over even enough to be friends. She didn't even like the same music as me. She told me about some country music concert she'd been to this summer... Try as I might, and I've listened to some country songs because my brother likes it so each time I hang out at his place he's got the radio turned to country...
And I'm just like... Dude.. Radio 104.5! And he's like... "My house, my station."
And I hear the songs and it just goes in one ear and out the other.... And then I get back in my car to go home and I'm just like... Ahhhhhhh... That's better. Rock/alt/pop music all the way.
But that connection thing... It's hard.
People that you share a flight with. You chat with the person next to you... And then you get off the plane and.... They go their way, and you go yours.
Maybe every blue moon you friend up on Facebook or something. Only later to delete one another. Or just never keep talking.
No, there's something more. There's something that keeps certain people thinking about one another. Missing one another. Like in this video.
Some people you care deeply for... And you WANT to talk to them, but you can't. Some people you just don't really have much of a connection at all.
I've always wondered why that is. Why do some people just COMPLETELY captivate us. And some people... Well... Frankly they annoy the heck out of us and we hate every minute we have to spend with them.
So when two people DO connect up. It'd like... The odds were astronomically small. Not only did they have to be born around the same time relative to time and space and humanity and existence... They had to both cross paths.... They had to have a reason to talk... They had to have a reason to connect. And they had to have similar enough minds to be able to really become life path partners...
That's super rare.
And then after ALL that happens... We still decide to throw it all out the window and by choice we sever ties. Even though all those odds were against us even linking up in the first place.
We decide to not send each other that message at the end of the night as we're falling asleep in bed still under the influence of some kind of alcoholic substance.
Last night I went downtown to get dinner and have a drink with my sister. She's in town for this Rock 'n' Roll run.
Although, she's not actually running. She has run this in the past, but she's in town because she has a booth at the convention center. She's selling her Lularoe gear. So, she's there with all her apparel.
Personally, I'm actually not keen on the Lularoe operation... I don't have an issue with the clothing... It's more the business model that I'm not big on. My investor background says to me, stay clear. But she likes it, and she's having run, which is fine. Personally? If Lula were a publicly traded company, I wouldn't invest. Lululemon on the other hand? I'd be inclined to pick up a few shares if they paid a dividend. No dividend there, so I'm not a shareholder, but I like the Lululemon business model a lot better than the Lularoe one. I'm just not completely convinced about the longer term sustainability of this company.
So, we went out and had dinner. It was nice, we went to a place called Field House. After that we went back to her hotel and got a drink at the hotel bar. I left and went back to my car and she went to bed.
On my way back to my car, which I had parked in the Independence Hall Parking garage... I stopped to visit the one and only Mr. Benjamin Franklin.
This is the third time I've visited him this summer. You know, it's weird. The first time I stumbled upon his grave, which I'd NEVER been to in all my years here as a resident of this area, it was completely by accident.
I was attempting to locate the entrance to the Independence Hall Parking garage when I found his grave site. This was... Back in late July? Or early August? I forget... It was the night I went out with my friend to Independence Beer Garden to try out Tinder Social (which was a bust). We then left there and went bar hopping around Old City. That was way more fun than waiting for someone to reply to us on Tinder.
So, there I am chatting with the ghost of Philadelphia's past. Mr. Franklin and I have a grand conversation going. Or maybe I was just kind standing there reading his bio posted next to the grave... But in a way, it felt like he was telling me about himself. I could just imagine his grandiose personality and larger than life presence telling me all about himself.
Mr. Benjamin Franklin.
Anyways... So last night was the 3rd time. Each time, I actually get tingles down my spine! It's strange. I feel like he had such a zest for life that even in death his soul still lingers around his grave site giving that life zest away to anyone who passes near.
Or maybe he wishes he could hop bodies and jump back into the realm of the living... I feel like Ben is too moral of a person to body snatch though. I mean, yes, I didn't know him personally... But I just feel like he would feel bad as soon as he snatched and would want to give your body back.
You know, if body snatching were an actual thing, and what not.
Well, so I'm there, just kind of lingering, and letting my imagination wonder. Chillaxing with Franklin and his wife Deb. And suddenly I thought the words...
Benjamin of the East.
I mean, he is a Benjamin... and he did live in the East coast! He was born in Boston, and died in Philadelphia. It even says so, right there on the little "about me" section next to his grave.
Benjamin of the East.
Well, that's kind of cool. I've had this domain name for about 10 years now... Actually more. I registered it in 2005 I believe. I remember sitting with my laptop in The Common Place coffee house in my college town of Indiana, Pa registering it and creating the first 1.0 version of the Benny East website.
Speaking of which, I should probably refresh this site. Maybe I'll do that at some point, perhaps over my next winter break that I get in December.
It's a funky thought for sure. It's weird but it made me feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside. Like Ben Franklin would approve of my website name.
The initial Benny East name came from my one friend Kate Heckman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3021068/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1). We used to record music together. Her and my other friend Jayme. They had a band and I would record them. One night they dyed my hair and we went out shopping and they gave me a whole makeover... Cut my hair, dyed it... Dressed me in new clothes and even shoes.
When we were done... Kate said... Where's Kenny West? You're like a new person... You're...
And it kind of became a thing.
Benjamin of the East.
Maybe I'll have to visit Mr. Franklin again. So far it's been a thing that I do each time I park in the Independence Hall Parking spot, which by the way I'm convinced, is the best kept parking secret on the planet... 5 bucks on Friday and Saturday nights as long as you are in after 5pm and out before 3am... Can't beat it!
This isn't the first time I've made it a thing to stop somewhere when I go to a specific spot...
Back in 2010, I started a thing where I stop at the Washington Memorial Chapel and say a quick prayer for Miss Daylight. That actually started on New Years Eve... in 2010/2011. Technically it was 2011 when I stopped. I remember I parked my car and walked over to the little statue where the lady is kneeling over... It's just to the left of the chapel if you are facing the chapel. There's a small courtyard-ish area and a statue of a lady... She's kind of kneeling/leaning over.
Anyways... on January 1st... I stood there and said my first prayer thing. I just kind of talked... To the wind... and the cold night air. Hoping some wildebeest wouldn't jump out and devour me whole. Then when I finished, I ran back to my car.
I've probably stopped at that spot at all hours of the day and night each time I pass by it in my car... And I just say a little prayer usually for Miss Daylight. Sometimes I include other people. I used to pray about my mom's health. And this whole court case thing in Cali with my trust...
But mostly I'd just pray about Miss Daylight.
Anyways, so maybe my new "spot" will be chatting with Benjamin Franklin.
I wonder how Washington would feel knowing that I've been chatting with Franklin instead lately? It's not like Washington and I were exclusive or anything. And besides... Franklin and I are just friends anyways. So, it's probably cool.
Okay, I'm on day 3 of this port wine bottle. You'd THINK it wouldn't take someone this long to drink a tiny ass bottle of wine. Okay, we're not talking about a hotel minibar bottle of wine, just, about half the size of a normal bottle.
Still working on it. I can't believe it. I mean, maybe I'm just a slow wine dinkier. Or maybe I'm a bad wine drinker. Or maybe I'm a good one because I drink in moderation. Or maybe I need more practice drinking wine.
Or a wine friend that comes over to help. Or a girlfriend. Ha! I wish.
Oh well. She'll come along some day I guess. It would just be NICE if she could come along tomorrow.
Anyways... So, tonight monologues are on my mind in addition to the wine.
I had my first acting class. It was fun. We went through basic stuff. VERY basic stuff. We all had to read the same line but in different emotions.
Different ways to say the same thing. Then we discussed monologues.
I basically have to bring a monologue to class next week. Or write one I guess. I'll probably just bring one.
I found out that one of the big things for going to casting events, such as open calls... Is that you should have a 1 minute monologue. It's a big deal. You should always have something prepared.
Ideally you should have a handful of monologues prepared, all in various genres. Or, whatever the movie version is called... Comedy, drama, action, thriller... Etc. etc.
Be ready to be dynamic.
Basically... That's how life is. Be ready for what you didn't prepare for.
That's the theme of it all.
So, I'm mostly just having fun with this. Just blowing money on it because... I don't know, what else am I going to spend my money on? To be honest... It's going to be VERY hard for me to run out of money.
Here's the thing about having money invested... There's one word... Income. Today I received a handful of dividends, about 25 bucks worth of dividends. But, that's coming off my own personal investments. The trust is a different story.
When you have money invested it produces income. That money just keeps coming in. It literally piles up. ON top of that, I work. I have nothing to pay off. I have a car, I have a house... I have basically all the necessities of life.
And on top of all that... You know, I'm just not a big travel person. I know, everyone is supposed to LOVE traveling. But... I guess I just like staying local.
I'd love to meet someone... fall in love... Obviously that isn't happening, and doesn't seem like it's going to happen any time soon.
I gotta spend this money some how!
So, acting class it is.
And pumpkin ice cream.
I was thinking tonight, while I was finishing my glass of port wine and eating my pumpkin ice cream, about Miss Daylight. I kind of started to think of a monologue in my head...
But I was thinking to myself... What does it matter? She moved to Florida... And the last I heard she's all head over heels for this Mr. Flash guy.
But, not only that... Let's say she were single. I have no plans to move to Florida. I have no plans to travel. Especially to Florida.
My old trustee lives there. I just don't know if I ever want to set foot in that state for the rest of my life. It would take a LOT of convincing. Let's just say that.
So I'm eating my ice cream and thinking in monologue mode...
Even if... Even if...
Even if... She were single again. Which I doubt she is. She's probably looking at engagement rings at this point. Oh well. It is what it is...
But let's just say she were single... and EVEN if she were interested in talking to me again.
AND Even IF she were interested in me romantically...
It's the whole bird and fish thing.
She will probably never leave Florida.
I bet she'll spend her entire rest of her life in Florida.
Who knows where I'll move. I have to stay in this house for 2 years at least... And then I can move somewhere.
But, I might just relocate somewhere nearby but still in PA... maybe out towards West Chester. Who knows? All I know is Florida is out.
So, it's just silly really.
Here's a girl that I wanted. I would have married her in a heart beat and bent hand over foot for her. I would have loved her till the end of time...
And she broke it up with me. She stopped talking to me. She decided to go with another guy over me.
I totally would have gladly probably signed over half my inheritance to her. Or ALL of it probably in exchange for us spending the rest of our lives together...
But she said no to me. She blocked me out of her life. It was 100 percent her cutting me out.
So... I mean, isn't it silly to still think about her? It's so silly. But thinking aside, I was just like... It's impossible ANYWAYS because she's Miss South Florida now and I'm Mr. probably say in PA but might move somewhere new that isn't Florida.
So, in all of that... It seems like we'll never cross paths again in this life time.
Oh well, that's how life goes I guess. You meet people, you fall in love, and then you never see them again.
And then you try to think and think and think about WHY? WHY would you even cross paths with this person? Why would you have a million monologues in your mind about them?
I don't know. That girl though. She just captured up my heart for some reason.
Love is strange like that. But now I'm just open and ready and waiting for the next girl to come along... Wherever she might be.
Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll meet a girl that I'll fall 10 times more for.
I guess that's the thing about life, you can never know when it will happen and what will happen.
Anyways, while I wait for love to find me, my plan is to keep this whole acting thing going... Maybe just as an experiment, and maybe it actually turns into something.
One of the advantages I have over the other people is that... even if I never make a dime from it... Having money coming in off my investments will let me cover my costs. So I won't actually lose any money. I can take acting class.... and not have to worry about spending my share of the money I have coming to me in my lifetime just like my grandparents and my mom didn't spend it. It just keeps going on down the line.
Hopefully I meet someone and eventually have kids so I can basically leave them what was left to me. We'll see.
For now, I just remain perplexed by that girl that broke everything off with me... Even though I wanted her a thousand percent and then some... Yet she still read my online stuff.
I told my friend about it and she just told me it was probably because she was flattered that I was writing about her. That any girl would read something that flattered her.
I guess that makes sense.
Oh well... I'll probably never know or understand. It's just one of those mysteries of life. That girl that drove me wild and I could never get.
What I do know is... I'm 33 and single. I have all of my bases covered financially and I'm not a big travel person... SO in addition to the whole working 9-5 thing... Might as well just go out and about around town... Take classes. Work on creative projects. Make music, try to act, write books... Practice monologues.
Basically just go about my life and have fun.
Buy all my favorite little foods at the grocery store. Drink nice coffees and teas. Make fancy dinners at home.
Just enjoy myself and see what comes next in life.
And that's my monologue titled 33 and still single. All my friends are getting married and making babies and I'm just eating ice cream out of the container in the middle of the night. And craving Chinese food. Maybe I'll get Chinese takeout tomorrow night or something.
Mmmmm Chinese food. See, now I REALLY want Chinese food!
So I'm having some more of this port wine. It's good. I like just a general bottle of red better. I now have about 5 bottles of wine waiting in the wings, so I might as well start drinking them before my next wine event. There's bound to be a wine event eventually.
I think that's my only requirement for the next girl I date. I hope she likes going to wine tasting, wineries, wine fests, or just drinking wine in general so we can drink wine together.
Right now... I have no one on the radar. I have a couple of online dating conversations going, but the two I'm most interested in haven't written back today. Then there's one that seems to respond before I even hit the send button. I'm not SUPER interested in her, she seems nice but... I don't know. I'm just not as interested in her as the other two. But I keep responding because you never know right?
Isn't that how it always goes? Want the one that does't want you. Not super interested in the one that is interested in you.
I guess that's why it's dating... I guess the day there's a mutual love interest... that's ALL those people in relationships and married out there. They finally, after all of the other dates, went on that one date with that one person where both of them wanted each other.
It'll happen eventually. Just have to keep hoping. One day there will be a mutual love interest for me where I dig her as much as she digs me and she digs me as much as I dig her. I feel like it's super rare... But all it takes is that one person. That's what people say at least.
So, I'm working my way through this bottle of wine. It's a small one because it's more potent. I like it, it's kind of sweet, but it's a red, it's infused with grape brandy and espresso beans. It's weird. But good.
Next up will be this sangria wine from Chaddsford winery.
Tonight I came home and tended to the cats before just kind of working on music and things. I have two songs that are inching their way closer to the finish line. I made dinner. I went to the gym. I fixed my Comcast connection, hopefully, which keeps dropping in and out. Next step is to call them up and have a tech come text the signal on the line. I THINK it's fixed though.
One of the unbearable parts of being a HIGHLY experienced IT professional with 10 years experience under your belt is dealing with anything tech related with people who obviously know SOOOOOO much less than you. Then you have to basically convince them of the issue that you already know is happening. And the fix that you already know needs to be done.
We have this all the time at work when we call Dell to get a computer component replaced on a warranty machine. It's like.... super frustrating. And annoying. But you have to just be nice and kind of coax them into doing what you want. And convincing them that you already know it's a bad board or hard drive or screen or whatever.
It's all about just saying it in the right way. Something I've gotten pretty good at after 10 years in the computer world. You just learn the ropes.
There's that whole, what people think they want, versus what they actually want, or need or what is actually happening.
Again, sometimes it's hard knowing WAY more than someone else, but you can't get mad or annoyed or frustrated, you just have to wait it out and be patient.
That's how I'm being with dating these days. Just have to wait until there's that one person that clicks.
Same with this estate and trust stuff... It's like SOOOO close to being done... And the money is ALMOST available to me... But right now... I just have to wait it out.
Just have to wait for things to finally come along and not force anything. That's kind of how life works. When you try to force things... They never happen nicely. When you just kind of wait and let it happen. Things just seem to work out.
And in the mean time... There's wine! Woo hooo... Rejoice! Wine, and beer, and coffee, and tea for me. And chocolate. And working out as well. I feel like all of those combined make the waiting time a little more bearable.
Tonight I cracked open a bottle of port wine. I also ate some chocolate. I also got my teeth cleaned to remove all the stain from all of the different foods I enjoy, like port wine and chocolate. The port wine was interesting. I actually had bought that bottle at the Longwood Gardens wine and jazz festival. I had a small glass while I made dinner.
Port wine, at least this one, is sweet and strong. It's about 20 percent alcohol. SO it doesn't take much! I also nibbled on some dark chocolate Hershey Kisses.
While that was all happening, I did some laundry.
Oh yeah and while I did ALL of that I ate chips and guac and chips and salsa.
So, it was just that kind of night.
I guess I was thinking about how... maybe some day all of this stuff I'm doing... There will be a second someone there to do things along side me. I mean, I'm a bit burned out on dating... So, if it happens it happens. But for now... I'm just going to keep doing all this stuff just, because... I guess?
Hopefully I can just have a night in with a special someone some day. And we can just drink wine and make dinner. Maybe have the TV on in the background or something. It's just something I wish I had. But, that's the thing about life... can't really make things happen that you want. You can try, yes, but if it's not mean to be... It won't happen no matter HOW hard you try. So, when it's meant to be and I find a girl that will be that one along side me while we make dinner and do things around the house and enjoy a nice glass of wine, or some chocolate, it will just happen for me.
For now, I'm happy to just do those things on my own. It was definitely a nice evening for sure. Just very relaxing to unwind with a glass of wine while cooking and doing laundry and munching on a snack of chips and guac and chips and salsa. Just my kind of night.