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We Don’t Talk Anymore

It's interesting.  The end of this video "We Don't Talk Anymore" by Charlie Puth (Which by the way, I love this song)...

If you look closely you can see the two people that aren't together anymore each going to type something to one another, but then they delete the message and never send it.

I can't tell you the amount of times I've done this.  There are SOOOO many nights that I wrote texts, or emails... That I ended up deleting and never sending.  Usually it's because I've had a drink or two... Or three.  Maybe if I'd had that fourth drink... I would have sent it...

I imagine maybe there were people that might have done the same to me.  But, just like they will never know the messages I never sent, I'll never know the messages they never sent.

It makes me wonder... All the couples out there.  All the couples though history.  The amount of messages not sent.  The amount of people that could have been together if one thing had changed.  But instead they are with someone else.  All of the people married right now, almost ended up with someone else.

I'm not gonna lie I actually almost sent a message to someone last night I hadn't spoken with in a long time.  But I decided against it.  You know, just a "Hey.. How are you?" kind of message.  Not going to say who it was... Just someone I was reminded of recently.

It's a strange little world we live in here on this tiny floating ball in space.  Though out history... All the people that almost contacted one another after they fell out of contact.

I bet it happens so often.  I bet on a daily basis there are at least thousands of people almost sending one another messages.  Maybe they've had a few drinks.  Maybe they hear a song that reminds them of the other person.  Maybe they go to a place where they once had been with that person.

It's that strange mechanism that works in our minds call "Missing someone".  Or being reminded of someone.  You'd think that if that was that, and two lovers weren't meant to be... They would instantly forget each other after it were over.  They wouldn't miss each other.  They wouldn't even think about each other.

But that's not the case.  Right now there are probably countless number of people all over the world missing one another that do not currently talk to each other.

Most of the time the missing someone mechanism has a good purpose.  It makes us remember to contact people we might not have spoken with in a few days, or weeks.  People in our lives like family, or good friends.  People that generally don't sever ties on purpose, they just kind of forget to call each other, or message each other for long periods of time.

But lovers?  Lovers sever ties on purpose.  There's no way around it.  Two people that used to be romantically involved generally can't be friends until both people no longer have romantic feelings.

Usually when people break up, as in this song, it's because one person didn't love the other.  So in this song, Charlie was still wanting this girl, but she had met someone new.

This happens SOOOOOO often.  People leave each other.  People break up with each other for new people... The saying is... "Oh, they broke up".  Which is a funny saying because I've never once had it be mutual on the breakup "We" broke up.  It's always... person A broke up with person B.  It's never... Both people decided to leave one another.  It's either been that I was interested and she broke it off, or she was interested and I broke it off.

I've never had it where both of us were just like... not interested.

But the point is, friends is never an option, at least not at first.  Like, I'm friends with all my exes except one... Miss Daylight.  Why?  Because if I did see her in person even to this day... My heart would still skip a beat.  If I saw my other exes?  I'd just hand shake it out and be like so how's life?

Also even just thinking about Miss Daylight with someone else makes my stomach turn.  Where as my other past loves?  I don't know, I feel very little emotional reaction.  With all my other loves... I'm just like... Well that's cool that you found someone.

I often think about this path in life that we all take and the people we meet.  For example... I won't ever meet 99 percent of the people on this planet.  There's BILLIONS of people.  It's just mathematically not possible for me to meet most of them.  That means, that each person I DO end up meeting... Is like... Almost astronomically impossibly small odds that we both ended up being at the same place at the same time.

I think about what Charlie thinks about.... What was it all for?  IF things don't work with someone... That's usually the biggest question.  Why did I even meet that person in the first place?  Who knows.  Maybe 10 years or 20 years down the road it will make more sense.  I feel like I still have trouble making sense of the people I've met.

But who knows... Maybe in 5 or 10 years I'll be like... Ohhhhhhh.  Maybe I'll end up meeting someone that both of us become COMPLETELY inseparable.  I guess right now, it's hard to imagine that there will be someone that I'll do all those things with that people do when they meet "the one".  Like right now... All the people I currently know.... I'm just like... There's no one that I could... See myself being married to.  There's no spark.  There's no... even... in my mind... "Yeah, you know, I could possibly see myself marrying that girl in a few years."

I mean, okay yes, there are girls that I've had crushes on... I mean obviously the girl that really captured my heart the most was Miss Daylight.  But it wasn't mutual.  Which is fine.  I'm definitely okay with that.  I gave it a pretty big try with chasing her.  I chased her all over... To church even.

I've pretty much given up chasing her.  Even if I still haven't given up these feelings for her.

But hey who knows... maybe one day there will be a girl that I'll just be completely caught off guard by.  But it's also possible that I could fall for someone new and then that doesn't work out either.  There's never a guarantee that a couple will last.  And then they become someone that you are missing and think about from your past.

But it's still very curious... Of all the pathways we could have taken.  Of all the people we could have met.  We meet the people we meet.

And those odds are just so astronomically tiny.

Not only did we have to be alive at the same time, which is a small window on its own compared to the entire history of humanity and the timescale of the universe... But we had to be in the same place at the same time to bump into each other.

But NOT ONLY that... We had to then have a reason to connect.  Think about all the people we cross paths with but never connect up.  The grocery store for one.  No one ever meets people at grocery stores.

Even like last night I was working on my book and I started chatting with the bar tender while I was writing.  Then when I went to leave the bar... Even though we chatted for a good solid 2 hours....

I went my way, and she went hers.  I can't tell you her last name even.  I'll probably never see her again in this life.  But her and I weren't super connect-y.  Like... She had a different personality that wasn't compatible with me.  I can't explain it... But I tend to connect better with creative people, or theater-ish artsy people... Or people that are more raw or emotional... or interesting... Or unique.  Or just... run to a different beat of a different drum.

This girl... Very normal.  Very plain.  Very fit in.  She'd going a masters degree in sports something.... She basically seemed exactly the kind of girl that everyone would consider "normal".

Typical Philadelphia accent.  All the typical Philadelphia things... Goes down the shore with her family in the summer.  Goes to Phillies games.  Like basically... She's just... Super predictable.

I connect with people that are like... Entrepreneurial.  That are creative, or inspiring.  They read a ton and think a ton.  They want to change the world.  They are just... You know, something you can't quite put your finger on.  But there's something about them that makes you do a double take and you go wait a minute.

Bar tender girl just didn't have any of that.  At least in the 2 hours that we chatted.  She thought it was interested that I was writing a book, she said she could never write a book.  I said, "You don't know until you try!"  She said she didn't have a creative bone in her body.

I shrugged and said okay.

So we didn't even have that special something that we could connect over even enough to be friends.  She didn't even like the same music as me.  She told me about some country music concert she'd been to this summer... Try as I might, and I've listened to some country songs because my brother likes it so each time I hang out at his place he's got the radio turned to country...

And I'm just like... Dude.. Radio 104.5!  And he's like... "My house, my station."

And I hear the songs and it just goes in one ear and out the other.... And then I get back in my car to go home and I'm just like... Ahhhhhhh... That's better.  Rock/alt/pop music all the way.

But that connection thing... It's hard.

People that you share a flight with.  You chat with the person next to you... And then you get off the plane and.... They go their way, and you go yours.

Maybe every blue moon you friend up on Facebook or something.  Only later to delete one another.  Or just never keep talking.

No, there's something more.  There's something that keeps certain people thinking about one another.  Missing one another.  Like in this video.

Some people you care deeply for... And you WANT to talk to them, but you can't.  Some people you just don't really have much of a connection at all.

I've always wondered why that is.  Why do some people just COMPLETELY captivate us.  And some people... Well... Frankly they annoy the heck out of us and we hate every minute we have to spend with them.

So when two people DO connect up.  It'd like... The odds were astronomically small.  Not only did they have to be born around the same time relative to time and space and humanity and existence... They had to both cross paths.... They had to have a reason to talk... They had to have a reason to connect.  And they had to have similar enough minds to be able to really become life path partners...

That's super rare.

And then after ALL that happens... We still decide to throw it all out the window and by choice we sever ties.  Even though all those odds were against us even linking up in the first place.

We decide to not send each other that message at the end of the night as we're falling asleep in bed still under the influence of some kind of alcoholic substance.