BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

27Nov/160

Day Four of My Five Day Vacation

SO... I had planned to blog every day of my vacation, but... I kind of let the time get away from me.  I have gotten a ton done though.  Not as much as I'd have liked to... But a good amount.

This afternoon turned into a very weird experience...

I decided to work on some more of the book.  The scene I'm working on right now is very action packed and emotional and it leads up to the resolution.  Anyways, I'm sitting at a Starbucks near my house and just doing some writing.  I got pizza and a coffee and just sat for a couple hours... After that I went to the gym and then to the store.  That information isn't really relevant I guess, but I figured I might as well give a full picture of how my evening went...

Well, so I'm sitting writing, and these three college age young mature women are chatting about some very mature topics for their young minds.  Okay so, I can't help but just hear what they are saying because I'm literally sitting RIGHT beside them.

Well, they start discussing religion and Christianity and love and religion.  And then the one starts talking about dating someone who doesn't share your faith, and then the other one starts talking about her friend Kara.

So, here I am sitting writing a book... That's, influenced by this girl that I met also named Kara... And then when we dated I went to church with her, when I wasn't a church going person (technically I'm Jewish, although I like to say I identify with the buffet religion which is, I want to take some aspects of all religions and put them into my own world view... Which should be an actual religion, if it's not already... Because I mean there's a LOT of religions and they all have interesting things, so I just don't know why someone has to pick one specific faith... Why not be a part of half a dozen at the same time?  You know?  I feel like it could work.  Or I just plan to go with whatever religion of whatever girl I end up marrying one day, which has been my plan all along mostly.).

So that whole dating and religion thing is what the other girl was talking about... This guy she likes and wanting him to go to church with her.

I'm just like well that's weird.

Their conversation was interesting.  Mostly about guys and dating material... Basically a guy can be cute, but cute isn't enough to date.

I didn't interrupt their conversation until the end when I chimed in as we were all getting kicked out by the Starbucks barista.  Well, I just kind of got sucked into their conversation a little by accident.

But I just found it very coincidental... I'm working on this book that has some of the same themes of what they were talking about inspired by this girl named Kara that I once knew... and the one girl kept referring back to her friend Kara in the conversation.

I mean, yes, maybe it's a total stretch.  Which is why I'm not really saying to myself "Oh my God this means something!!!!"

It was just something interesting in an otherwise run of the mill day.  Just made me smile I guess.

Maybe it's just Gods way of sending a little humor into my day.  I definitely believe that God has a sense of humor and likes to make people realize it.

Anyways... Also what's interesting too is as I was writing this scene, listening to what they were saying was influencing my writing.  SO the scene changed from what I had initially wanted to write when I sat down.

That's kind of what fascinates me about life.  How the unexpected will almost always happen.

For example, I went out the night before Thanksgiving and ended up going to a bar I wasn't going to go to because the one bar I wanted to go to was TOO packed.  SO, I tried to go to a different one, they had closed already, but then I was right down the street from another bar.  I decided to stop in there... I then ran into one of the girls from my acting class... Now, this specific person I had linked up with my neighbor because she wanted personal one on one classes.  SO now this girl and my neighbor are working with each other.  He's giving her personal acting coaching, which is what he does.  He did acting coaching in LA for like 15 years.  So he's working with her.  She said that so far it's great.  We chatted for a little bit.

Then I ended up staying at that bar longer than anticipated and then came up with another book idea actually.

But my thing is, my OWN plan didn't have that bar in the picture at all.  Just like when I set out to write tonight at Starbucks, my course was changed by these 3 young women.

Although, the writing thing only happened because I met Kara.  Before that I was super focused on playing music only and working on music.  So, my life was changed by meeting Kara.

That's kind of how life is though... It's changed by who we meet and in what order we meet those people.

Well ANYWAYS... I'm going to go do other stuff.  Work on some more book, work on some more music... Clean a little more.  Seriously, the more I clean around this house, the more I feel like I notice more things to clean!

Or, sometimes I feel like these cats of mine know I'm cleaning so they run around making more messes each time I clean.  I mean, that's probably not the case... But I have my suspicions about these cats.  I call them, catspiracy theories.

And I'll leave it at that.

Oh, well, last night I witnessed a bar fight.  That was entertaining.  Not really much to talk about, just two guys that started fighting out of nowhere, and then the bartender broke them up.  She jumped over the bar with her cat light reflexes.  It was crazy.  That was while I was having a couple drinks after watching Monty Python's Holy Grail movie out in Phoenixville.

Well, anyways... Off to do more stuff around the house.

 

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23Nov/160

Day one of my five day vacation

Today is day 1 of my 5 days off from work.  I took the cat to the vet this morning and then did some yard work.  I'm about to head to the gym in a few and then later this evening I plan to go out and grab a couple drinks.  Apparently it's the biggest drinking night of the year. or so I'm told.  Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and meet my future wife tonight, I highly doubt that will happen, but one never knows in life.  Life is pretty unpredictable.  The stuff that happens, most of us will have said that we totally never saw that coming when it was starting out.

Last night I did yoga, and then went and got whole foods pizza and worked on this scene in my book.  It's a fun scene, I wasn't exactly sure where I wanted to go with it, but now that the ball is rolling, so to speak, it's coming along well.

Anyways, after the pizza I went grocery shopping and then just kind of came home and relaxed before bed.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving obviously, I'll probably try to be productive in the morning before I go to the various places I'm scheduled to be at.

I have various projects planned for this break, I want to vacuum and mop the whole house, and clean the bathrooms and such.  This is my down time to really get things down that are on my to-do list that I've been meaning to work on.  My next break is the big long winter break that we get of about 2 weeks, so, I'll probably just do more of the same.

Hopefully I'll work on more music.  I always plan to work on music and then find that I have other "life" things to take care of that come first.  So, I plan to try and put music first on this break, although I haven't worked on any music yet today... But, I had planned on that because I had a lot of items on my list to take care of, so that was a bit expected.  Well I'm going to make some food, then go to the gym, then the ATM at the bank to deposit a small check and the store before heading out for a couple drinks to mix and mingle with the night before Thanksgiving crowd.

 

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20Nov/160

Pizza

So, last night I went up the street to one of my favorite little writing nooks.  It's just a bar up the hill, about a mile away.  I had two beers and a pizza.  It's a personal sized pizza.  SO, we're not talking about eating an entire large pizza by myself.  Anyways...  I worked on a scene that I've been kind of struggling to write.  But, now things are flowing.  It's strange how when I first started this book, it was just an excuse to go sit at bars and hopefully end up sit next to a girl and hopefully meet a girl.  Then it became trying to hold on to this girl that I liked... But now it's sort of more than that.

I mean, it's interesting how it all started.  Going into it, I wouldn't have imagined I'd have an entire book.  See, before 2010, I'd spend my free time doing only music.  Which I still do, but just not as much.  Then I met this girl... Then, to try and get over her, I started going out to bars to try and meet someone new.  Then sitting at bars alone was awkward.  So I started bringing my laptop and working on writing.  Then this book started.

Now I have this book almost complete.  And there's something familiar about going to the same spots and doing things like sitting in the same little space and ordering a pizza and beer.  I do this with coffee too.  The thing about this bar spot is I don't always get the space I want because there might be someone there already.  So, last night was just like.... Sweet!  My spot is open!

But seriously, as much as I'd love to find that special someone.  I guess now that I've spent all this time working on this book, and eating pizza, and sipping coffee and tea, and drinking beer and wine...

I'd almost prefer to just eat pizza with a book, either writing or reading.  Don't get me wrong, I still want that whole love thing.  But... I guess since finding love is nearly impossible... Pizza never fails to bring me joy.  Also, I can order a pizza whenever I want.  Pizza is never something I have to find, or has to walk into my life.  Pizza is just a phone call away.  It's always there.  And it's always delicious.

If only I could find a relationship like pizza.

But anyways I'm sitting there in my favorite little writing spot... eating pizza, and drinking a beer.  And it was just nice and comfortable.  I guess, that's what I'd love to find... Something that just feels right.

Dating is always awkward.  It never feels right.  I mean, aside from a handful of girls that I've crossed paths with in my life... But most of the dating I've experienced so far in life, it's just been like... Something isn't right.  But I'll tell you, last night writing this one scene, and eating pizza and drinking beer.  It just felt nice.  It was a comfortable and nice Saturday night.

Maybe I'll never meet someone or experience something like that in the dating world.  Maybe I'll always have awkward and weird.  Who knows.  But I just have to keep hoping that comfortable and nice, and something that just feels right eventually happens.

A pizza relationship.  That's want I want.  I want to date someone that reminds me of comfort food.

Or I don't know.  Who knows anymore.  Everyone keeps saying, you'll meet someone when you least expect it.  I feel like I'm beyond least expecting t at this point.  I'm just giving up.

I mean, sure, I could probably just date someone that I'm not that into, but I'd rather not be in that situation.  I'd rather not date a girl that I'm not super into because if she becomes really into me... It's going to be a disaster.  I'll end up letting her down.  And I don't want to do that.  I don't want a girl to do that to me!  I mean, if I really fell for a girl and she wasn't that into me and she was only dating me just to date someone... I wouldn't want that.  So, it's not fair either to date someone just to date them.  It has to be mutual.  If you both are just like, okay we're just dating each other just to see how things go... That's fine.

And then if things progress and both people are on board.  That's good.  But if one person starts to fall harder or faster, or one person starts to not feel it... That's where the problem is.  That's like if someone REALLY wants pizza and it comes out and they grab the slice and it's super hot... and they get burned.

That's a bad relationship.  One person wanted it WAY too quick... so the pizza burned them.  You have to wait until the pizza is cool enough to eat.  You have to just kind of hang out with the pizza while it cools some and then you can enjoy the pizza.

That's kind of how relationships are... Although maybe not.  Maybe they are nothing like pizza.  Anyways, so yeah.  For the time being... I'll just eat pizza, since I can't seem to find much luck on the love front.

At least I know I always have pizza!

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19Nov/160

Listening

Here's my thing about this whole Pence going to Hamilton thing... I wouldn't have boo'ed him.  If you want someone to listen to you, telling them they suck before trying to engage in a conversation, who's going to listen to you after the boo?

I wouldn't have cheered him either.  The thing is... First off, he's at the theater, people.  THE THEATER!  The theater, by itself, is inheritalnly... Gay.  Theater is TOTALLY GAY.  Everyone knows this.  I KNOW this... and I fucking LOVE going to the theater.  I'm not gay myself, but I 100 percent support everyone in my life that is, because they all fucking rock.  And the theater rocks.

To review: Theater is gay.  Theater rocks.  Gay people rock.

So, the fact that Mike even STEPPED FOOT into a theater to see a broadway show, is a good sign, if you ask me.  Because that shows that he's into theater, which means by association, he's okay with gay things, which to me, isn't the absolute worst scenario to play out at the moment.  I mean, because trust me... I've known some CRAZY homophobic people in my lifetime that have said some stupid idiotic things like how only "gay people go to watch Broadway performances and they would never set foot in a theater".  Mike went to the theater.  In the grand scheme of things... That's a win to me!

And he wasn't dragged in kicking and screaming... He went, by his own free will.  Am I happy that he's our VP-Elect and not Kaine?  No.  Not even in the least slightest bit.  But am I happy that he decided to go spend a Friday night watching something that is completely stereotyped as being "gay"... and STAYED THROUGH THE WHOLE SHOW.  Heck yeah.

And am I happy that Trump demanded an apology?  NO.  What the cast said was them exercising their right to free speech.  And the fact that Pence stayed to listen to them and not turn his back and walk out, is also probably not the WORST of outcomes that could have happened.  My thing is... We're not going to get anywhere by booing people... We just have to keep having conversations and asking if people will listen to one another.  Just keep saying, "hey, I know we are from different backgrounds and we're from different ideologies.... but, let's try and work on that.  Let's have this open conversation and spend time talking... and if you still feel the way you feel, fine, at least we can say we tried.  But I hope you will one day be able to open your mind and heart to something different."

I truly believe that people can change.  And that keeping people out of certain places, or being mean to them without any kind of dialogue is the WORST thing to do.  If you want people to change, don't just cast them away... Talk to them... and listen to them.  And get to know what it is that is behind the way they feel or the way they think.  There's a reason why people do or say certain things...

I myself have this.  I don't care for the state of Florida.  It's long and complicated and involves multiple people in my past.  But, there's these reasons why I dislike the state of Florida.  It's not that the state of Florida has done anything to me personally... It's that a couple people have and, I don't know, I'm still just not over it all yet...  But if there were someone that wanted me to go to Florida with them bad enough, they would have to talk to me about my reasoning behind why I don't want to visit Florida.  It would take a lot of convincing, but if someone wanted me to go with them to Florida BAD enough, with enough conversation, I probably would eventually go.

It's all about the conversations and spending time learning about why people like or don't like the things they do, or why they think the things they do.  Life paths shape who we are.  Life experiences shape the way we think and feel.  There's a reason why Trump and Pence are the way they are... No one is just born with thoughts in their heads.... They get their personality and life views from the experiences they go through in life.  A lot of it has to do with our family growing up, where we grow up culturally, how much we're exposed to.  How many people we meet and empathize with.  What kinds of things happen to us as we go through life.  Who we're harmed by, who we're loved by.  The places we go and hang out in.  The people we hang out with.

Obviously Mike Pence was able to put his media reported homophobia aside enough to go watch the gayest goddamn thing on the planet... a Broadway play.  And he didn't get up and walk out halfway through.  And I guarantee you he was probably tapping his toes to most of the music and laughing and smiling at the jokes, and lost in the storyline.

And that's the power of art, and music, and dance, and dialogue... The power to change hearts and minds.

That was just my thought.  Honestly though, it's all about changing minds and hearts.  It's all about conversations and approaching people in safe settings and being convincing and kind about it.  Because no one is going to listen to someone that starts out their argument with "Boo, you suck!" and then following it up with, "Do you have a minute for me to talk to you about something?"

If you think someone sucks... Just know, they probably think you suck too.  But we're not going to get anywhere telling each other we all suck.  So instead... Just start with, hey... Do you have a minute?  But here's the thing... For every minute you want someone to listen to you... Make sure you have a minute to listen to them.  That's only fair.

Listening is just as important is talking.  Because if you're not listening to other people, what's to say they are even listening to your message in the first place?

You know?

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18Nov/160

Wealth of Knowledge

So...

Today I had this phone conference thing... I learned a few insights from the people managing money on my behalf.

The long and the short of it is... I also learned something about this world, and this country...

It's almost as if there are TWO kinds of people... Those who are personally familiar with the term "Wealth Management" and those who have no clue what that even means.

If you know what that means... You know which side of the fence you're on.  Or you're at least friends with people that know people.

It's crazy though.  I mean it just blows my mind.  Basically... I now know stuff that I didn't know earlier today.  Yes, predictions can be wrong, and we're not talking about mind blowing information on what's going to happen 100 percent in the future, it's just general guidance... But the fact that I have someone, or rather, a whole team of people, working to help me basically financially have an edge blows my mind.

Why?  Because... Okay...

This is the whole thing.... If you have investments, you have access to resources and people that can help you to do even  better (AKA make even more money).  But what about the rest of the people?  What about the people that don't have personal wealth management financial planners/investors/advisors/analysts available to them?

It's just, I guess I've come to realize that there is sort of setup this whole system society that stacked the odds in favor of those in the know.  And those in the know are then better prepared, and thus more likely to make even more money on top of that money they already have.

I mean, now that I know even more about the current market conditions going forward, and tax implications going forward along with proposed changes to fiscal policy and tax law changes that could happen under the next administration... I'm MORE in the know than your standard citizen.

But the only reason I was able to be told that information... Was because I already have these investments held on my behalf, making me a client.

It's basically that you have a small fraction of the citizens in this country, or world, profiting off of a large number of citizens.

Here's the thing... Money is debt.  All money is debt.  That's just what it is.  It's debt.  The only thing that changes, is who holds the debt.

So, you have people with money, are holding someone else's debt.  And people without money, actually HAVE debt.

For example, if you have money IN the bank... That money is ten loaned out to other citizens, in the  form of car loans, or home loans.  Then you get a small part of that interest that is being charged to the person who owes the debt.

Then there's bonds... Holding a bond, or bond ETF/mutual fund, means you receive interest payments on the debt that someone else owes.

Then stocks, are SORT of debt but not really, it's complicated.  Stocks are more owning part of the company, but that means you share in part of the profits, or losses... And then you have have share price appreciation and depreciation.

But the point is, if you have two citizens, one has some fairly large accounts... They walk into a bank, or an investment firm and they have a team of people who are there to help them make their money grow.  If you have NO money but NEED money... You have a team of people who loan you money, but with the expectation that on that money you already don't have... You have to pay even more money for the right to borrow that money.

It's a system that is leaning towards those who have money, and leaning away from those who don't.

I firmly believe that one of the most important things we need to do, is to teach those on the debt side of things everything there is about personal finance and how it all works.  That, to me, is one of the best tools.  A wealth of knowledge, because that will then help them in their journey to build wealth.

It's an uphill battle for sure, but one of the things I realized today is, most of building wealth is about being in the know.  Keeping yourself informed.  And making choices with your money with that information.  Because anyone who isn't informed can also see great sums of wealth erased by simply investing in the wrong thing at the wrong time.

I guess what I said isn't new or profound... It's the old "the rich get richer" routine.  But, the real question is... Why?  And I feel like a lot of it has to do with not just HAVING money.  After all, we hear about wealthy people going bankrupt and having their cars and houses taken away... And having to go back to work...

So, I feel like an important aspect for anyone to learn, is how wealth is built and maintained.  How to give yourself an edge with a wealth of knowledge.

Most people don't even know the term Wealth Management... And why should they?  They don't have any extra money at the end of the day/paycheck.  They just make it by barely able to afford life.

But, what's interesting is, it IS possible to build wealth, even with a small income.  Even if you have debt, it's possible to build wealth!

There are ways to consolidate debt, or find a lower interest rate... There are personal budgeting sites to help you get your spending down, and most are free.  You can even use sites like www.digit.co to save even as little as pennies from your paychecks.  Then after you save a little... you can use sites like www.capitaloneinvesting.com to start investing in stocks.  That site even lets you buy partial shares, so if you have only a small amount to invest, you can still start out small.  Some stocks have seen returns over the years in the thousands of percent.  That means just a hundred bucks would turn into 10 thousand dollars over time...

Another tool is diversification.  As one stock or investment continues to appreciate in value, you can then diversify into new investments.  This is a very powerful concept.

From there things just keep going... but knowledge is the real power.  Knowing the resources you have at your disposal.

Even if you're wrong in investing, there are many tax laws that favor losing money in stocks and help people out when it comes to paying taxes on capital gains.

But the thing is, most people have no clue how money management even works on the most basic level.... Or where to even start.

Nearly anyone can start with Digit.co and Capital One Investing.  And given enough time... They could end up having a private investment bank advising them or managing their accounts on their behalf.  The key is to get that knowledge to the people that need it the most.  Turn a wealth of knowledge into actual wealth.

So, the saying goes... Everything is easy if you know the answer.  I feel like the best way to be prepared for anything, is to just be as informed as possible.

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16Nov/160

A-B-C-List

I've decided to start getting more serious about stocks, books and music.  My plan is to just buckle down and stay in more and work in the evenings after work on doing more stock research, working on music, and finishing my book.

Right now my income from stock trading for the year is at about 1100 bucks January 1 to today.  Not amazing... But, it's not too bad.  I'm going to beat last year's income for sure.  My plan for next year is just to continue my year over year income increase.  Last year I made about 1300 bucks...  So, next year I want to try and make between 2 and 5k.  And then the year after over 10k.  We'll see.  There's more to it than dividend income... three's capital appreciation and capital gains.  Those are also up, but I don't count those until the end of the year since they change.

For the music thing, I want to keep putting up more songs.  I have 4 pretty good songs I'm working on with 2 just about being close to the finish point.

The book is getting close to being completed as well.  I'm hoping to finish that over my winter break from work.  But, we'll see.

SO back to the stocks.  Right now, stocks are the most promising form of income...  I'm hoping to get better at researching investments and making trades and collecting income from the trades.  I basically want to get so good at it that I'll have lots of extra side income from it that I can just use that to do home improvements and such.

I'm not much of a traveler, or I'd travel instead, I basically just stay local and go to things around the area.  It's not that I haven't traveled, I have.... but I'm just more of a stay local kind of person.

Anyways, so I have this A-B-C list thing for my stocks now.  C list is like my crap shoot dump where I just take any stock that passes my first screen and throw it in that pile.  Then I pick through that and pull stocks from there.  Then, ones that I like... that are performing well, or are strong, or have strong dividends.  I take those and put them in the B list.  From that list, I make a smaller A list.  So, C is full... B is slimmed down, and A is very small and selective.  The cream of the crop.

My current investment strategy is just to hold stocks and collect dividends.  I make very few buys and sells.  I let them go up and down and all over the place.  Should a stock completely go bust, like out of business, or the shares are merged out, or taken private on me (at a loss).... I actively trade to make it so that my capital gains erase my capital loss.  I have a year end policy to never have a capital loss.  Then my dividends are all income.

That's my current strategy.  Buy and hold, and collect income.  That's where the current 1100 is from for year to date.  Like I said, there's currently capital gains on my books, and no losses yet... But there's also capital appreciation.  So my investments have gained value even though I haven't actually sold them to realize the gains.

It's complicated.

My strategy going forwards is going to be to keep the previous one in place... But then also I want to use one small bit of the cash I now have access to recently from my mom's stuff... To make larger short term swing trades.  So, I'll take small gains in short term swing trades.

If I can make just 5 percent gain on a stock, I can then use that money to buy things for around the house.  Or, I can then use that money to add to my income dividend stock bundle.

5 percent doesn't seem like a lot... But if you make 5 percent trades over and over again... it can really add up.  So, that's the plan.

I'd love, really, just to consistently beat my work salary in trading.  That way, I have a nice safety blanket and can sleep well at night knowing I have this extra money to rely on if I needed it.

That's one of the things about working and getting paychecks from work... Should something happen and the job is no longer able to keep those checks coming in... that source of money dries up.

That's why I like trading stocks and dividends... That money is passive, and so it's like a base life salary that, no matter what... I always have and can count on.

Knowing that there's sort of a renewable supply of money that can be generated by trading stocks in a predictable and highly analytical way would be amazing.  That way I don't have to worry about buying new personal belongings, paying bills, paying for necessities of life, or a new car for example.. Or paying taxes on my house.. Etc. etc.

So, if you have, lets just say 10 thousand bucks... and you spend 1000 a month for example... In 10 months you run out of money.  That's if it's just cash being spent.

But let's say you have 10 grand and you're spending 1000 a month.... Now let's say you make three trades in a month valued at 5 percent a piece.

5 percent of 10k is 500 bucks... SO, if I make 3 trades with that 10k block of money, I can make 1500 bucks... Then I spend my 1000 for expenses and I reinvest the 500 left.  Obviously stocks are a bit volatile, so maybe some months I won't make ANY trades and other months I'll make way more than 3.  Like 5, or 10.  Who knows.

But the idea is that, the 10k never goes away.  It just sits there being used as trade capital and then money is spent off the top of it, the earned income from that original principle.

Ideally though, I'd like to cover my costs 100 percent with trading so that my work paychecks just go into my other account and then I can use those for whatever else.  Maybe use those for home improvements, or who knows what.

My other part to this is, I put all of my expenses that I can on a cash back credit card... That way that's a little extra bit of money that I can also add to my bottomline trade income, and investment income.

But anyways, I'm working on going for my first 10k trade.  Hopefully it will be a quick in, and quick out trade.  And I'll scoop up 500 or 1k in anywhere from a few days to a few weeks.

There's all sorts of strategies.  I'll probably eventually establish margin on my account and leverage trades, or do options trading with covered call options...

Trading is neat because there's SOOOO many different things one can do with stocks.  It's possible to make money even on falling stocks by shorting them.  I don't know if I'll get into shorting... But we'll see.

The grand master plan is to really get amazing at trading so that I can use that money to build a recording studio maybe, and then really do more with music, and of course maybe also use this to publish my books, then make movies of the books... Etc. etc.

It's all intertwined.... There's a C list a B list and an A list for mostly everything.  I have this for my songs and books too.  Stuff that's on the C list is just an idea, stuff that's on the A list is closer to being completed.

I do this for my daily to-do lists.  A is super top priority and C is not so much.  Or whatever letter.... Sometimes I add a D to the list.  It's much like a grading system.  A is top priority, and then the sub letters all go down to become less and less important.

Anything can start on the C or D list and make its way up to the B and A list.  Hopefully by doing it this way, I get the best stocks to trade, and I get the best songs finished and posted, and the best books.

We'll see.  Right now I haven't actually been making any trades.  Just letting my income stocks sit and generate income.  Most of my capital is parked in cash.  Things are a bit uncertain in the markets at the moment.  So, I'm mostly taking a wait and see stance while I research the heck out of possible trades.

Until now all of my trades have been very small scale trades.  I buy and hold generally for years at a time with very small amounts of money and stay heavily diversified.

A large scale trade is one of those, putting all your eggs in one basket type of deals... It can go great if the stock goes up... Like Nvidia has been doing... or it can go sour if the stock unexpectedly falls due to a bad earnings report or some kind of unexpected news.

There are various ways to deal with trades, I can just sell out and take the loss, hoping to beat it the next time and then the idea is that you have more gains than losses in the long run... OR, I can just hold, and wait for it to turn around... This ties up the money for a longer than anticipated period of time.  That's why I like dividends.  Let's say I hypothetically put that 10k into a dividend stock that gave me 4 percent a year in dividends...

Now I have 100 bucks a quarter to use for things while I wait for that stock to turn around.

Probably not going to do that.  I'll just get in and out over and over... For now I'm not making any trades.  Just doing research.

We'll see how much I get into it.  Right now I'm just setting up my trading platform.  I'm building into my dividend income stocks a little more.  I bought 3 stocks in the last month.  So, I guess I did make some trades... But I plan to hold those 3 stocks for a long time.

Anyways... That's the latest.

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9Nov/160

The Great Abstinence Starts NOW!

So, I just had a really wild idea... There's a REALLY easy way to reverse this election. All women everywhere, stop having sex with men until Trump relinquishes his win. It's a crazy idea, but it just might work. Spread the word ladies! Every woman, start abstinence now and refuse to have sex at all with any man until Trump stands down. I mean, it's not THAT crazy of an idea, I myself haven't had sex since February. It's REALLY not that hard to go long periods of time without sex. So, women everywhere, if you want to fight misogyny and sexism... The great abstinence starts now. No sex for ALL men from ALL women until Trump stands down!  Take a stand for women everywhere.  And if your significant other is REALLY with you, they will support you in this cause.

All women everywhere should stand with Hillary and stop having sex with men everywhere to stand against sexism, misogyny and gender discrimination. If all women stop having sex with men everywhere and take a stand, they can take the power back and take a stand against the power that was taken from women everywhere last night when Trump was declared winner! All women, join together and STOP having sex until Trump stands down! Join together and say you've had enough of MEN pushing you around in this world! Stand with me, stand with Hillary and fight and let the great abstinence begin! Don't wait 4 more years to TRY again. DO THIS NOW! STOP THE SEXISM. TAKE THE POWER BACK FROM MEN!!! This is about feminism winning the day and not another rich white man, same as it always is. WE HAVE NEVER HAD ONE FEMALE PRESIDENT! NOT ONE. AND LAST NIGHT THAT WAS STOLEN FROM WOMEN EVERYWHERE. STAND AND STOP HAVING SEX. JUST SAY NO!

All men care about is sex. Come on ladies! Let's hit em where it counts and unite the entire country in one stand. ALL women standing up to rape, misoygony, sexism, the glass ceiling. NOT EVER HAVING ONE WOMAN PRESIDENT EVER!!!! THINK ABOUT THAT. EVER. It's ALWAYS been men. Tell EVERY ONE of your friends to spread the word and ALL women stand up to men. Say you've had enough once and for all. Men want sex. It's simple. STOP LETTING THEM GET IT. CUT OFF THE SUPPLY OF THE ONE THING GUYS WANT THE MOST. All women stand together and say no more. NO MORE! If ALL women hold off sex from all men... THEY CAN TAKE THE POWER BACK!

How long did women go without the right to vote in the first place? How long have women gone without having a fellow woman in office? How long have women been oppressed in the workplace? How many women have been victims of domestic abuse? How many? HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH!?!! I implore ALL women everywhere... You've gone HUNDREDS OF YEARS WITH NO WOMAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE!!!! EVER!!!! And now you're just going to let Trump steal it all away? Reverse ALL the work that was done? Start a movement that will turn into a tidal wave... BE STRONG. STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT. HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH? CUT ALL MEN OFF FROM SEX STARTING NOW. AND SEE HOW LONG THEY CAN GO AND SEE HOW THEY FEEL. Let them know what it's like to go hundreds of years since this country started without EVER having a woman in the office!!! Let them KNOW how you feel. Stand with me.

If women everywhere stop having sex with men... It will send a sign, they have had enough. So you go a few weeks, maybe a few months without sex. And what? Men get angry with you? Why? Because ALL women are good for is having sex with men? IF men get ANGRY at you NOT having sex and are NOT supportive of the cause, that just PROVES that men PRIORITIZE women for one thing... Nothing more than having sex with men. If MEN can't stand by and be okay with this stand, you have to question their motives and how they REALLY view women. Then all they view women as, is inferior and only good for sex. TAKE A STAND AND SAY YOU ARE EVEN WITH MEN. YOU ARE NOT LESS THAN! YOU DESERVE TO HAVE YOUR VOICE HEARD! Stop this oppression NOW.

Women everywhere get paid less than men, and it's perfectly acceptable! This is CRAZY people! Look at this world. LOOK... Look at the amount of women CEOs compared to the number of men CEOs? Look at ALL the elected officials. How many are women? CERTAINLY NOT HALF. CERTAINLY NOT HALF THE US PRESIDENTS HAVE BEEN WOMEN. In fact ZERO HAVE!!! THiS IS CRAZY. Women are NOT respected. They are cat called. They are made to feel like objects on the bus, on the train. Men stare at them. They hit on them nonstop even though the women are CLEARLY not interested! HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH? HOW MUCH!?!?!?!?! STAND UP, WOMEN EVERYWHERE AND STAND TOGETHER AND SAY NO MORE. TAKE A HIATUS ON SEX UNTIL THE MEN SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO YOU. Because men are CERTAINLY NOT LISTENING right now and they NEVER have! It's not equal. Not even by a long shot. And last night broke my heart. It showed that men don't care about women being equal, even one bit.

Half the U.S. population is women... and we've NEVER had a woman in The White House. Ever. IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THIS COUNTRY! Tell me how that's NOT an injustice to women everywhere? Tell me how... PLEASE.... Tell me how that doesn't just make you so angry... How does that not completely upset you? How?!?! Representative of the general population my ass. Women everywhere... Start a movement to abstain from sex with men. Maybe it will be a few weeks, maybe a few months. This whole thing is about men being in power... So take the power back. And stop having sex until men everywhere finally listen to you and respect you. Because they sure as hell don't right now.

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7Nov/160

Tennis Balls

I just dropped off some of my mom's medical supplies at the local Goodwill.  They wouldn't take the commode though, but they took everything else.  Now, I have to find a new home for the commode, I may just end up trashing it though.

Anyways, so I drop these few items off.  One of the walkers had tennis balls on the bottom of the feet.  My mom had cut slits in tennis balls and then placed them on there.  I think she was just trying to be funny and personalize her walker.  I mean, the bottom of the other walker had rubber feet, so I imagine it wasn't a case of the walker scuffing up the floor or anything like that.

Whatever the reason my mom had for her tennis ball idea, it was just her.  She'd always do quirky things like that, sometimes they didn't really make sense, but it was her.  So, I'm there and I dropped off the one walker with the tennis balls and as soon as I dropped it off at Goodwill and was driving away... I had a thought that I should have saved the tennis balls.  I should have taken them off and saved them.  I was about to turn around to go get them...

But I said to myself, why?  I have plenty of other things that she left behind.  What would I do with two tennis balls with little cut marks in them, and on top of that they had been dragged around on the floor across various hospital rooms, and through the dialysis place...

I suppose I could have washed them.  But they've been sitting in my living room for a year now.  It just didn't make sense to keep them.  I forced myself not to turn around.  I just said to myself... They're just tennis balls.  I have so many other items to remember her by.

But the feeling that I'd lost something.  The stomach dropping feeling.  The feeling that I would regret not going back... That's how I felt, and still feel.  It's the same feeling that I felt right after I lost her.  And the feeling I felt when I finally cut her cell phone and all her voicemails were gone because I didn't know the code until the last minute and didn't have time to back them up.

I guess the thing is, how much is enough?  How much stuff do I need?  I mean, I can't keep it all.  I just decided not to go back.  Just to let it go, no matter how much I wanted to go back.

It's definitely been hard.  It was a year on November 4th.  I wish I could talk to my mom every day, but I just kind of keep chugging along.  I've got lots of friends that have been super supportive and I'm just keeping busy.  The whole estate thing is over now... Just a few final things to get through.  We're now in the process of setting up college savings accounts for my brother's and sister's kids.  I'd setup accounts for my kids, but I don't have kids.  Instead I plan to just keep that money invested and not touch it should I have kids one day, which hopefully will happen.

Anyways, so yeah, that's kind of just life at the moment.  I'm feeling nostalgic over some yucky old tennis balls.  But, I just said to myself, I have to let that stuff go.  There's plenty of other things to remember my mom by and remember her quirky personality.  Additionally she would have been thankful to know that I donated her old walker and that I'm helping to settle her estate by setting up college savings accounts for my brother and sister's kids (the grand kids).  So, I feel okay letting go of the stuff.  Just have to take a few days to be okay with it.  The feeling of regret will subside and I'll feel a little more okay with it... Just takes time.

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3Nov/160

This Is Everything

This new Maroon 5 song and video is basically my latest obsession.  I love it.  The end made me literally laugh out loud.  The love story between the orange girl and him is basically my life.  It's so great.  It's just everything at the moment.

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3Nov/160

Cats To The Vet

It's time for the annual cat vet checkup thing.  I'll have to schedule them all for vet visits.  It's impossible to get them all in one go, so I have to schedule each one for their own day.  Sadly, I only have 3 this year instead of 4.  I'll probably end up taking them all over winter break.  Or maybe over  Thanks Giving.  We'll see.  I guess I could schedule them all for the same day but just bring the first over, then come back home and get the second, then bring the second back and come back and get the third and then bring the third back.  It's hard because once they know one is off to the vet, they all know.

You really can't fool cats.  They just know something is up when the cages come out.  And my gosh do they really hate those cages.  They run in every direction and you have to play a game of hide and seek, and on top of that you have to coax them into the cage.  But, I managed last year so I'll manage this year.

Hmmm, oh, so Friday is a year that my mom has been gone.  This whole week has been no good.  Just kind of blah all around.

This time last year I was spending 22 hours a day down at HUP in the ICU with her.  I was considering maybe going on Friday and bringing like a fruit tray or something down to the nurses station.  I never did that.  I mean, I brought a small thing last year right after she was moved down to the ICU.  See my mom always brought treats for the nurses stations.  She was big on it.  She always had a whole stash of nurses stations sweets.  Well, when my mom first went down to the ICU from her other room in October of last year, she got moved about 5 days into her stay.  So the other side of the ICU never got any food gift.  I had promised I could come back and bring them some but I never did.

On the other hand, it'd be really hard walking back into the ICU.  I mean, they allow people to come in, it's not like HARD to get in... But, you know, emotionally hard.  Being in that same place 1 year later.  I probably won't do that.  Just a thought that crossed my mind.  Just sort of... Something my mom would have done type of deal.

Anyways, I feel like the point is, I don't know what to do.  You know?  Do something.  Or just do nothing.  Or just... See what I'm moved to do.

Anyways, it's a strange time of year for me.  I feel like the last month has been very strange.  Or the last year I guess.  Just kind of like... Some days it's a little like, so what happens now?

I guess what happens now is I take the cats to the vet.  That's all I've got.  So, that's probably what I will do.  Just schedule the cats for the vet, because that's what my mom would have done.

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