BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

28Dec/120

My new flashy self made business cards

I sat down yesterday and made some new flashy business cards to hand out at open mics.  I think I will also just keep them in my pocket to hand out to people I meet wherever and whenever.  I've been meaning to make some new cards for a while since all the old ones I had were just plain text and that was it.  I tossed those now that I have the new super nifty ones.  Eventually I want to get some pro glossy ones made up that are full color.  But for now these are pretty snazzy.

For these I used my laser-jet printer to print them out so they are all just plain black and white since I don't have one of those crazy ritzy color printers.  But it definitely works just in black and white.  I made the background by using an image I drew 3 or 4 years ago and scanned in.  I think I was going to use the guitar for another creative project but never did.  Or maybe it was the original background of my myspace page back in the day.  Either way I decided to re-use that old drawing and then shrink it down and crop it to fit on a card.  I then just used a funky fun font to make the website URL.

The idea of the cards is the following: people can just go to my site which will load up my songs on my Facebook page.  Then the songs will automatically start playing through reverb nation.  If they want they can "like" the page and will then receive updates I post to their Facebook newsfeed.  Each of the songs in the playlist has a link to that song on iTunes to buy.  So if they like the song they can then help support continued music creativeness by purchasing the song on iTunes!

That's the plan at least.

Well, I should probably show a picture of the business card right?  OK, here's what I came up with....

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19Dec/120

Singleness

Sometimes it makes me sad to be single.  But other times I think to myself...

Well... being single means I have to do nearly everything on my own, which means I have to be a stronger person than people who have someone to help them bear the weight of the world.

I think that's true.  I think that it takes a LOT more energy to be a single person and go it alone than it does to be with someone.  When you are with someone you can share duties and you have someone that you know can help you, or you can help in return.

The single people of the world like me have to be twice as strong as our non-single friends.  We have to know that we can do all the every day things in life on our own and know that we don't have someone that can help us make dinner or go shopping for food or help us move around from place to place.  We have to be one step ahead because we have to plan to rely on ourselves and only ourselves.  That means that when things DO go wrong... it's a LOT more effort to fix them because it just adds to the plate of a thousand and 1 things we're already doing on our own.

Where as the people who have someone to share that only have 500 and a half things to do (1001 divided by 2).

So I was just thnking about that and I started feeling pretty darn proud of myself!  Why be sad to be single?  It just means you are a MUCH stronger person standing solo than those who have someone to stand with.

SO I say be proud to be on your own and know that you are twice the person as your non-single friends.  That's what I say.

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9Dec/120

Reading through old texts, IMs and emails.

Last night I was reading through old texts, IMs and emails from a girl I TOTALLY fell in love with in the spring of 2010.  I'll tell you the moment I fell... the EXACT moment.  It was when I asked her if she wanted to see each other for a second date while standing outside of the place we had dinner on the first date and she said yes.  The first date you say?  Yea, I knew right then that she was something different from all the other girls I've ever dated or been on dates with.  She still is something else if you ask me.

Anyways it was just this pull, or ping in my heart.  You feel it like a double take.  It's like nothing I'd ever felt before, or have felt since.

So I'm reading through all the early communication between us and I realized we had real amazingly crazy awesome chemistry.  I mean... ok this was before I made the first of many mistakes and the chemistry kinda got toned down... but we had some serious chemistry going on!  Then last night it hit me: with the right person love is easy like that and the chemistry just flows.  I mean as far as all the dates I've ever been on, and it's been quite a few, most of those dates it almost feels just like what it is, trying to make feelings happen.  Almost like pedaling up a BIG hill on a bike... it's just a lot of energy put out but not feeling like you'll ever get the rush of flying down the other side of the hill  (at least that's what it feels like to me).  And I try to keep it going and see if it will turn into something.... I guess that's almost a mean way to say it... but when I'm on  a date with the wrong person... it just feels like work to keep things and the conversation going.

But I've realized with the right person, like the girl I met in the spring of 2010, you just know.  You know RIGHT from the start.  You know immediately.  You joke with each other right away, you laugh, you feel completely comfortable being with that person!  And time just zooms by so quick!  A few hours seem like a few minutes and you just wish that night would last forever.

You don't need to "warm up" to the person.  It doesn't take days, or weeks, or months to finally fall in love.  It happens from the very moment you meet each other.  The very moment you finally cross paths with each other.

Even from our first emails, texts and IM's... WHOA... our conversation was soooooooo easy.  Even a few days in we were finishing each others thoughts on IM.  That's how you know you are compatible with each other.  And we were really compatible.  I think we could have had something amazing if I hadn't messed it up.  And I will immediately say it's 100 percent my fault that we aren't Beyonce style crazy in love right now.

I know what I did wrong and I'll fess up to it and take 100 percent of the blame.

My thing isn't that I think me and her are soul mates and we should definitely be together... who knows, maybe we'll meet up again down the road....

Maybe not.

Gosh do I wish we could though.  I wish it pretty much every single day of my life.  I think about that girl every waking moment, and dream about her in most of the sleeping moments too (in a cute funny dream about her smile and her laugh kinda way).

But things are how they are because of my mistakes.  So I have to be ok with the future.  But I think what it has definitely made me realize is that with that right person, you know from the very first exchange of messages, or the very first time you see them standing outside the coffee shop looking all kinds of cute waiting for you as you are walking up.  You get immediate butterflies.  And by the end of that first dinner date you both decided to continue on to after the coffee...

You're already head over heels.

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