Monologues
Okay, I'm on day 3 of this port wine bottle. You'd THINK it wouldn't take someone this long to drink a tiny ass bottle of wine. Okay, we're not talking about a hotel minibar bottle of wine, just, about half the size of a normal bottle.
Still working on it. I can't believe it. I mean, maybe I'm just a slow wine dinkier. Or maybe I'm a bad wine drinker. Or maybe I'm a good one because I drink in moderation. Or maybe I need more practice drinking wine.
Or a wine friend that comes over to help. Or a girlfriend. Ha! I wish.
Oh well. She'll come along some day I guess. It would just be NICE if she could come along tomorrow.
Anyways... So, tonight monologues are on my mind in addition to the wine.
I had my first acting class. It was fun. We went through basic stuff. VERY basic stuff. We all had to read the same line but in different emotions.
Different ways to say the same thing. Then we discussed monologues.
I basically have to bring a monologue to class next week. Or write one I guess. I'll probably just bring one.
I found out that one of the big things for going to casting events, such as open calls... Is that you should have a 1 minute monologue. It's a big deal. You should always have something prepared.
Ideally you should have a handful of monologues prepared, all in various genres. Or, whatever the movie version is called... Comedy, drama, action, thriller... Etc. etc.
Be ready to be dynamic.
Basically... That's how life is. Be ready for what you didn't prepare for.
That's the theme of it all.
So, I'm mostly just having fun with this. Just blowing money on it because... I don't know, what else am I going to spend my money on? To be honest... It's going to be VERY hard for me to run out of money.
Here's the thing about having money invested... There's one word... Income. Today I received a handful of dividends, about 25 bucks worth of dividends. But, that's coming off my own personal investments. The trust is a different story.
When you have money invested it produces income. That money just keeps coming in. It literally piles up. ON top of that, I work. I have nothing to pay off. I have a car, I have a house... I have basically all the necessities of life.
And on top of all that... You know, I'm just not a big travel person. I know, everyone is supposed to LOVE traveling. But... I guess I just like staying local.
I'd love to meet someone... fall in love... Obviously that isn't happening, and doesn't seem like it's going to happen any time soon.
I gotta spend this money some how!
So, acting class it is.
And wine.
And pumpkin ice cream.
I was thinking tonight, while I was finishing my glass of port wine and eating my pumpkin ice cream, about Miss Daylight. I kind of started to think of a monologue in my head...
But I was thinking to myself... What does it matter? She moved to Florida... And the last I heard she's all head over heels for this Mr. Flash guy.
But, not only that... Let's say she were single. I have no plans to move to Florida. I have no plans to travel. Especially to Florida.
My old trustee lives there. I just don't know if I ever want to set foot in that state for the rest of my life. It would take a LOT of convincing. Let's just say that.
So I'm eating my ice cream and thinking in monologue mode...
Even if... Even if...
Even if...
Even if...
Even if... She were single again. Which I doubt she is. She's probably looking at engagement rings at this point. Oh well. It is what it is...
But let's just say she were single... and EVEN if she were interested in talking to me again.
AND Even IF she were interested in me romantically...
It's the whole bird and fish thing.
She will probably never leave Florida.
I bet she'll spend her entire rest of her life in Florida.
Who knows where I'll move. I have to stay in this house for 2 years at least... And then I can move somewhere.
But, I might just relocate somewhere nearby but still in PA... maybe out towards West Chester. Who knows? All I know is Florida is out.
So, it's just silly really.
Here's a girl that I wanted. I would have married her in a heart beat and bent hand over foot for her. I would have loved her till the end of time...
And she broke it up with me. She stopped talking to me. She decided to go with another guy over me.
I totally would have gladly probably signed over half my inheritance to her. Or ALL of it probably in exchange for us spending the rest of our lives together...
But she said no to me. She blocked me out of her life. It was 100 percent her cutting me out.
So... I mean, isn't it silly to still think about her? It's so silly. But thinking aside, I was just like... It's impossible ANYWAYS because she's Miss South Florida now and I'm Mr. probably say in PA but might move somewhere new that isn't Florida.
So, in all of that... It seems like we'll never cross paths again in this life time.
Oh well, that's how life goes I guess. You meet people, you fall in love, and then you never see them again.
And then you try to think and think and think about WHY? WHY would you even cross paths with this person? Why would you have a million monologues in your mind about them?
I don't know. That girl though. She just captured up my heart for some reason.
Love is strange like that. But now I'm just open and ready and waiting for the next girl to come along... Wherever she might be.
Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll meet a girl that I'll fall 10 times more for.
I guess that's the thing about life, you can never know when it will happen and what will happen.
Anyways, while I wait for love to find me, my plan is to keep this whole acting thing going... Maybe just as an experiment, and maybe it actually turns into something.
One of the advantages I have over the other people is that... even if I never make a dime from it... Having money coming in off my investments will let me cover my costs. So I won't actually lose any money. I can take acting class.... and not have to worry about spending my share of the money I have coming to me in my lifetime just like my grandparents and my mom didn't spend it. It just keeps going on down the line.
Hopefully I meet someone and eventually have kids so I can basically leave them what was left to me. We'll see.
For now, I just remain perplexed by that girl that broke everything off with me... Even though I wanted her a thousand percent and then some... Yet she still read my online stuff.
I told my friend about it and she just told me it was probably because she was flattered that I was writing about her. That any girl would read something that flattered her.
I guess that makes sense.
Oh well... I'll probably never know or understand. It's just one of those mysteries of life. That girl that drove me wild and I could never get.
What I do know is... I'm 33 and single. I have all of my bases covered financially and I'm not a big travel person... SO in addition to the whole working 9-5 thing... Might as well just go out and about around town... Take classes. Work on creative projects. Make music, try to act, write books... Practice monologues.
Basically just go about my life and have fun.
Buy all my favorite little foods at the grocery store. Drink nice coffees and teas. Make fancy dinners at home.
Just enjoy myself and see what comes next in life.
And that's my monologue titled 33 and still single. All my friends are getting married and making babies and I'm just eating ice cream out of the container in the middle of the night. And craving Chinese food. Maybe I'll get Chinese takeout tomorrow night or something.
Mmmmm Chinese food. See, now I REALLY want Chinese food!
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