BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

More Singles Events

So, I kind of want to find more singles events.  30 something singles groups.  Not SPECIFICALLY to date... Just 30 year olds that are also single.  And we hang out.  We do stuff, like happy hours and things.  And then maybe sparks fly organically.  The online dating thing is just... It doesn't work.  Online dating just does not work.  I mean, maybe it works for some... But for me at least?  I've only ever met one person.  That's it.  ONE person that I've been like YES.  I'm COMPLETELY and TOTALLY interested in this girl... Kara, obviously.

I'd love to go on another date like that where I was just like a totally yes completely 100 percent from day one.

But, other than her?

Dating sites just haven't worked for me.

I feel like a singles group might be a better way to meet someone.  Even if I don't meet someone AT the group, maybe I meet a friend who knows someone who they invite out one time and then I start talking with that person.  Sometimes that's how it goes.  Sometimes you're friends with people and then they introduce you to another friend who introduces you to that person that you end up marrying.

I mean ultimately you don't know who you're going to marry or how you will meet them until you finally do meet them.  But before that you can't predict where or when or how.

I think it would be interesting to start asking people that are married or in relationships how they met and then just for the heck of it start doing those things.  Obviously what worked for one person won't work for another.  But it might be good for just passing the time until I do meet that one that matters.  That forever.  That one that I end up sharing the rest of my life with.

I mean, at this point, even though I WANT someone to end in marriage with... I'd be willing to just date someone just to date them.  Like, we have to agree that we won't way "I love you" unless we mean it.

But that's my biggest issue.  I'll date anyone.  But what if I get another Kara situation where I tell her that I love her and she says back... "I think I'm in like with you?"  That's what happened with Kara.  I guess the opposite could happen.  I could date a girl... And we date for a while, 6 months and then she finally tells me she loves me for the first time, but I don't feel that way back.  So I don't say it back.

I guess that's why relationships are hard.  Sometimes you date someone for 6 months or a year even.  And then one person says... "I love you".  And the other person?  They just say nothing back.

And they just stare at the other person blankly...

"Well say something!"

"I'm hungry?"

"What?"

"Are you hungry?  Do you want to get food?  I'm hungry."

"Really?  I tell you I love you for the first time in our relationship and that's all you have to say back?  I don't even know what to say to you right now."

Then you have to figure out okay, how long do you wait, how much more time do you give the person before you break it off.  I feel like if you don't say "I love you" after a year together.  You're never going to say it.

You know what I've never done though?  I've never done the just sex thing.  Apparently that's what Tinder is supposed to be used for.  I say in my profile that I want a relationship, so I get messages that are like... "Is your profile a joke?"

Literally the last Tinder message I got was asking me if my profile was a joke.

I said "no why?"  And she said...

"Tinder isn't for relationships.  It's for booty calls."

So, maybe that's why I can't seem to find someone?  Maybe I'm doing it wrong?  Maybe I'm supposed to just start with sex and take it from there.  Then after a few months of sex we start actually saying we're official?  Maybe that's where love comes from... Sex.  Maybe it's as simple as that.  Have sex with someone for long enough and you'll eventually end up in a relationship.  All you have to do is have sex on a regular basis... A few times a week or something.

And eventually... You'll fall in love.

I feel like the answer to that is no.  But... Maybe that's a better solution to all this dating stuff?

I don't know anymore.  I just hate the way I feel when I'm at  a party and it's all people that are married.  And they are like "So why aren't you married?"

Got me.  I have no idea.  I mean I'm not married because... I don't know... the only girl I've ever fallen totally head over for never fell back for me.

And I still don't have it in me to just date someone I don't have genuine feelings for.  I just couldn't see myself being married to someone that I had reservations about.  That I wasn't ALL in.  That I wasn't like... In our wedding photos you could just TELL we were in love.  I don't want to look at the wedding pictures and be like... Wait a minute... You're not even LOOKING at me during the ceremony.

And then she's like why?  And I'm like... I don't know.  I just wasn't.

And then every few years she brings it up joking and finally one night at a married couples party she jokes about it one last time and I say...

"Its' because I don't love you!  I'm NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!  That's why?  There.  Are you happy?  I said it.  The reason why I'm NOT looking at you in that photo is because I was thinking about someone else.  Because I don't love you."

And the whole room goes silent.

Or the reverse could happen.  I could end up with someone that wasn't 100 percent about me.  And then years later she's just like...

"Because I'm in love with someone else okay!  Jesus effing Christ.  I'm NOT in love with you.  I NEVER WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU!  That's why I'm looking away in the wedding photo.  Okay?  There.  Are you happy?  Now get the hell over it and move the fuck on about the god damn wedding photo!"

And the whole room goes silent.

And someone drops their glass of red wine all over a brand new carpet.  Mouths gape open.

So, anyways, I'd rather just go hang out with other singles so we can just be like... Why aren't you married?  Who cares.  None of us are!  And we cheers and clink glasses to being single together at a happy hour event.