BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

Dangerous

You know, I'm kind of a little glad that I'm not all that attractive.  Like, I'm short 5 foot 7 inches... and kind of wimpy kid-ish.  I'm like 130 soaking wet, maybe 135...

And then now a day I've got a tiny little bit less hair happening up on my head.

I'm kind of glad though.

Like today, I was just at Lowe's and I bought this leaf blower, I'm about to head out and do yard work...

But my gosh if I were tall dark and handsome?  I'd be in trouble.

Like, I was about to put my cart away, and out of nowhere this perfect 10 girl comes my way.  Well, to me she's a perfect 10.  A little on the thicker side.  Cute smile, cute eyes.  Her accent, obviously not from around here, it all just took me.  I think she's from the midwest.  That's how she sounded.

She was wearing like, workout getup, like she'd just come from the gym.  Or who knows... Maybe a yoga class, or just went on a run.

My gosh though.  She was dangerous.  I would be putty in her hands.  I'd be handing over my credit card and writing checks in her name and hitting up the ATM every day for her.

But, lucky for me... Our only exchange of words was...

Her: "I can take that for you." (referring to the cart)
Me: "Are you sure?"
Her: "Yep!"

And then she grabbed the cart... her hand kind of brushing my hand... And then went on her way.

My heart literally jumped.

I'm still thinking about her.

Whew.  Good thing she went on her way or I'd be playing with fire.

When you think about it, it really is like playing with fire.  That's the thing about this whole love thing... I mean, ideally, I'd like to meet someone who is my match.  You know, give and take, we kind of get along like best friends...

That's what's dangerous about some women though... They are fire.

If she would have chose... Which lucky for me she did not.  She could have stopped, and made an excuse to keep talking to me.

I would be locked in.  I'd be like... Oh?  Yes.  I'll talk to you as long as you keep talking to me.

Hypnotized.  Under her spell.

She could have said, "So, I'm about to buy something that I might need help carrying, could you come help?"

Me: "Yes.  Absolutely."

Dangerous.  Fire.

But, lucky for me... I'm a wimpy kid.  And very few if any girls are seriously interested.  Instead it's a whole fight just to keep a girl's attention.  But lucky for me, I can just walk away when things get dicey because there's no real crazy attraction like that girl today in the Lowe's parking lot.

I meet these girls often.  Every now and then I'll buy her a drink at a bar, and then that will be that.

I'm actually glad that was that.  I mean, I'd be so screwed if it weren't that.  Could you imagine?  Paying for her trips to Paris, first class.

So, I mean, it actually pays to be a little on the unattractive side.  Because if I were some hunk, she'd start talking to me, dig her claws in, sink her teeth in, and never let go.

And then when she was done with me, she'd kick me to the curb and look for her next hunk of fresh meat to sink her teeth into.

Although, this girl in particular is probably married.  My guess is, she's met her match... A dangerous guy who is just as equal as she is.  I guess that's how it goes... That's why I need like a science-y nerdy girl, or some kind of artsy nerd... Or just a nerd in general.

This one girl wasn't nerdy at all... She was A-Game sports-y.  I can't keep up with that.  Could never keep up.  Sports girls are like... Too much to handle.  Dangerous if you ask me.

Playing with fire.

I need a nerdy girl.  Hopefully one day I'll meet her.  But in the mean time I'm just thankful that one of these dangerous fire women hasn't decided to set her sights on me.  I'd be in big trouble if that were the case.