BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

Coffee, Tea, Wine And Beer

I wish I could just date coffee, tea, wine, and beer.  Here's the thing about dating, versus... Coffee, Tea, Wine, and Beer.

When you date someone... There's feelings.  Either you feel nothing or something... and the other person feels nothing, or something.

If you date someone and you like them, but they don't like you back... It ends.  I've been in that situation, maybe you try to convince that person... But in the end, if they just don't feel it, they just don't feel it.  That's what happened with Miss Daylight... I tried to convince her to like me... But no amount of trying ever got her to have a change of heart.  Or, perhaps, you date someone and you don't much like them but they like you... Same outcome... It ends.  Maybe you try to convince yourself that you COULD love them... maybe?

Ultimately that's just not going to work... Eventually it ends.  I've been in that situation too.  Someone likes me and they tell me they like me... And I TRY but... I just can't get my heart to feel anything just like Miss Daylight couldn't get her heart to feel anything for me.

But coffee, tea, wine, and beer?  Every time I take a sip of either one of those beverages... there's no wishy washy nonsense about it.  There's no... Maybe there will be sparks?  Maybe not?  It just works.  You always feel the desired effect.  Could you imagine if you drank a cup of coffee, or had a glass of wine...

And maybe you felt something?  Maybe one in every 50 cups of coffee, you felt perhaps a slight buzz.  Or one in every 50 glasses of wine you feel tipsy.

And THEN even with those 1 in 50... the coffee or the wine doesn't want you back.

So I guess it's more like you taste 50 types of wine.  Let's compare dating to wine tasting...

You go to a wine tasting event... and you sip 50 samplers of wine.  Each sampler is like a first date.

But in order to even GET the wine sample in the first place, you have to sit and talk with the winery rep at the tasting booth.  First, you have to fight with a whole bunch of other wine tasters also trying to holler at the wine rep.  The wine rep is winking back at them and they are complimenting the wine rep.

For the sake of this argument we'll just say that everyone has to show off their wine glass.  Everyone has a unique wine glass that they hand painted and brought with them to the tasting event.

If your wine glass has what it takes to get the wine rep's attention standing behind the tasting booth... The wine rep will holler back.

Then... All of a sudden... The rep is coming over to you.  You chat, everyone else is still trying to show off their hand painted wine glass, but yours has the wine rep's eye.  That wine rep is interested in pouring a sample of wine into your glass.

But before that can happen, you must first answer three questions.  Ugh.  Okay FINE.  What are your questions?  If you answer one wrong... The wine rep will walk away and holler back at someone else.  ALL I WANT IS SOME WINE!!!

Okay... Let's get on with the questions already.

Let's say you get those questions right.  Okay... Now you get a small taste. You LIKE the taste.  You want a WHOLE bottle.

GIVE ME THE WHOLE BOTTLE!!!  HERE TAKE MY MONEY!!!

This is, in the dating world, you went on a first date and you want a second... Or a whole bunch more.  You're very interested.  You even paid for the other person's stuff at the bar.  Take ALL my money.  Just give me more than a taste!!!

Oh.. Well... Here's the thing... The rep has other tastings or "dates" lined up with other people.

FIIINE.

So you know, you're patient.  You're pleasant about it.  You pretend to not care that the wine rep isn't being exclusive with you and that the rep is sitting there pouring precious wine from that amazing bottle you tasted into other glasses.

FINALLY, you get another taste.  The rep has decided on you.  You fork over dough for the whole bottle.  Just GIVE ME THE WHOLE THING.

You get a glass.

Screw it.  I'll take what I can get.  You down the glass in no time flat.

The wine rep tells you that there's someone else willing to pay more for the rest of what's left of this bottle, even though you already paid for the whole bottle.

You eye that person in the corner.

You fork over more money.  They fork over more money.

JUST GIVE ME MORE OF YOUR WINE!

The wine rep tells you that the bottle is yours.  You will be forever exclusive.  The rep starts to pour into the glass.  Then stops.  "What's going on here?  I thought you said we were exclusive?"

The rep tells you it's complicated.

Then all of a sudden the rep is pouring the rest of the bottle exclusively into the other person's glass.  "What the heck?  You're cheating on me?"

The rep tries to explain that the rep met this other wine taster a while back at a different tasting.  That they had a previous agreement.

You call BS and argue that you already bought the whole bottle.

The rep explains that the bottle belongs to this other person and that the other person just had no idea that this taster would ever come back for the bottle.  The other person had just kind of disappeared from the previous wine tasting event with no explanation, but that they just showed up and... they keep mentioning that it's complicated.

There's only a small bit of wine left in the bottle.  You say, screw it, and smash your glass on the floor and then grab the bottle and smash it on the floor too so that no one else can have any more of the bottle.

That's dating when it comes to people.  When it comes to love.

Imagine if that's what you went through when all you wanted was a glass of wine?

But lucky for everyone, a glass of wine can be purchased and it's yours.  You don't have to fight for it.  You don't have someone else having a previous claim to that bottle of wine or glass of wine that you thought was yours...

In love... You might wake up the next morning after thinking that you met the love of your life... To find someone else kissing that person instead.

You won't find someone else sipping your glass of wine... It's your glass of wine.  And that's why wine is awesome.

It's your cup of coffee, or cup of tea.  Or pint of beer.  You don't have to fight for it.

And the feeling that it gives you is ALWAYS consistent.  It's not like... Well... MAYBE one day I like you and the next I don't.  Maybe I tell you I'm interested on a Tuesday and by Friday I just want to be friends instead.

Nope.  Wine doesn't ever tell you, "Let's just be friends."  Wine is always... "I love you!  I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER."

And this is why I love wine too.  Because it's always, 100 percent, there for you.  Unlike dating.  Where people can't seem to make up their minds and sometimes they want you and sometimes they don't.

So the moral of the story is... Just date wine.  The end.