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Food Trucks and Wine Slushies

So, this Saturday I'm going to food trucks and wine slushies at the Chaddsford winery.  That'll be fun.  My new thing is just trying to go out nearly every single night.  I mean, here's my thing... I'm single.  Dating sites just aren't working for me.  I still message girls on there, but 99 percent of the time they won't message back.  If they do, they only say a few things, or they only respond sporadically.  Then they just ghost.

It's frustrating.  But going out to places in the real world, NOT online... I don't know, there you can actually have an entire conversation.  Sure, at the end of the night you might never share contact information.  And it may not even lead to something romantic... But here's the difference between going out to an event... and online dating.

In the real world, you can sit and talk and you can just be like... friendly.  You don't have to be romantic.  You can just tell jokes.  Okay here's the NUMBER one difference between online world and real world.

I can be funny.  It's SOOO hard to be funny online.  But in person?  I can get a girl to laugh REALLY easy.  Online?  Words are too easily misinterpreted.

I've pretty much given up on the online dating thing.

Most of the girls are ANGRY.  They are just super angry because they are getting all these other guys that are being perverts and sending photos of their wang.

In person?  You don't have a bunch of other guys coming up to the girl pulling out their wang in public.

You just have... We're all drinking.  Oh, that's the other thing.  Alcohol makes EVERYTHING so much easier.

People talk to each other.

Really the benefits of going to events FAR outweigh the benefits of online dating.  I use the term benefits loosely.  And by loosely I mean there are no benefits.  Online dating just sucks.

But here's the deal with the events.  I'm not just going to bars.  I'm not just going out.  I'm going to events.  Events are different.  Festivals.  Things that people are excited to go to.  People are WAY more friendly at events... Such as food trucks at a winery.  People are way more friendly at Science After Hours.  People are way more friendly at Musikfest.

Here's the thing... A lot of the single and social 30 somethings in the Philly area... Are ALL going to these same events.  So it's actually pretty likely that someone that was at Musikfest might also be at the food truck event.  And that same person might also be at Celtic fest, and they might ALSO be at the Slyfox Can Jam event...

See what I'm getting at?  If I missed this person... let's say, okay maybe she's not the love of my life, but let's just say it's a girl that I could date.  Which would be great.  I'd settle for just someone to date and have someone to actually get excited about when I think of her or she texts me.

I mean that would be awesome.

No one gets excited in online dating.  They are all just angry and mean.  And getting responses from online dating site girls is like pulling teeth.  It's a terrible experience really.  Just horrific.

But... At events... You friend up people on Facebook.  You buy each other drinks.  You eat and drink and be merry.  And who knows, maybe we will have gone to 5 or 10 different events or the same events and it takes that long to finally be standing next to one another and strike up a conversation.

The real world is just so much better than online dating when you are single and 33...

My other thing is... Let's say... Dating aside... Let's say I just don't meet anyone.  Okay whatever, that would suck but okay...

My other plan is, when you go out EVERY night and post it all over Facebook publicly... And invite people to come hang out with you... you get a following.  My other sort of idea lately is... To kind of just become an events person.  Maybe I'll start coordinating things to do in Philly groups.  I mean, I've gotten pretty good at finding stuff to do.

It's interesting though, if you ask people to do stuff... they might say okay.  They might agree.  They might make plans even.  But they most likely won't.  People are terribly unreliable.  Just like online dating.  Always breaking plans.  Ghosting.  No explanations.  No one cares.  It's sad really.  No one really has any level of commitment.

Instead, I just go.  I just go places.  I post it on Facebook.  I tell everyone... I plan to be here on this date at this time.  Come meet me there.  At first no one did.  But it's weird, people are starting to meet me.  It's like... They know that reliably when I say I'll be somewhere at an event of some sort.  You bet your bottom dollar that I'll be at that event!

I keep my word.  I'm not a flake ... Unlike the dating site girls that I message back and forth with on the online dating world.  All flakes.  None of them care.  None of them have any level of commitment or interest.  It's a joke really.  Online dating just sucks.

But going to events, like tomorrow night's Nightscape and drinking a few beers while I'm there?  You bet I'm going to strike up a conversation with someone.

On Saturday night I went out to Independence Beer Garden with my friend Justin.  It was interesting to learn a few "game" pointers from him.  He does this thing where he just breaks into conversations.  See I'm usually reserved.  I don't like to talk to people I don't know unless there's like... An excuse.

What I saw on Saturday night was flawless game play.  I was amazed.  I was taking notes.  He just broke into conversations.  And instead of apologizing, like I do, or withdrawing after a few comments when they kind of give the body language of "Okay?  And you are?"... He did this thing where he held his ground and kept talking more.  But what I saw next blew me away...

The girls at the bar AT FIRST did that "Uhhhhhh why are you talking to us?" kind of.. Defenses up thing... This is where I usually go quiet and turn away... But what happened instead of them putting their hand up and going "pshhhhhh... What EVER!  Talk to the hand."  And then sipping their drinks and turning their backs to us.

Instead they started to become okay with us.  The key is to crack a few jokes right away.  Jokes off the bat.  And don't back down.  Just get in there and steal the conversation for a good minute or two...

Then... One of the girls... Almost as if on queue, started playing with her hair.  That's when I knew we were in the group.

It's crazy how that works.  It's all about technique and knowing what to do in the situation.

Knowing that the whole... "Uhhhh excuse me... " thing is just an act that girls do initially... But the wall crumbles after about a minute.  You just have to keep at it.  I had no idea.

Also booze helps.  Early on in the night, it was harder... Later on in the night... All you had to do was stand next to someone and you'd instantly start chatting.

Now the only exception are the girls with boyfriends.  They are like wasps.  You try to talk to them and they sting.  They don't talk back.  The wall is up.  They don't want ANYTHING to do with you.

They are just waiting for their boyfriend to come back from another conversation or from the bathroom.  And then the two of them go off into the night.

Usually girls with boyfriends won't be in a group of 3 or 4 girls out at a bar though.  It does happen.  But usually if you approach a group of 3 or 4 girls... They are mostly all single.  And out for the night...

Because if they HAD a boyfriend, they would be home Netflixing and ordering take out with their boyfriend.  But let's be honest... The real reason we're ALL out till the bars close... Is because we're looking to meet that special someone.  We're looking to meet that last first kiss that ends in marriage.

I mean, that's MOSTLY why I'm doing ALL these events.  I'm just hoping to get better at breaking into conversations and just talking up a storm until the wall crumble and the girl is like... "You know, at first I wasn't sure about him when he first started talking to me... But then I realized... This guy is a keeper for sure."

So, I'm just looking for a girl that will finally tell all her friends and post on social media about how I'm a keeper.  And then it will hopefully go all the way to that whole marriage thing.

Just have to keep going out night after night and jam packing my plans full of activities.

I'm bound to cross paths with that special someone at some point.  All these people that got married have stories just like mine.  They were having trouble finding someone and having trouble dating... And then it happened and they met them just like that.

So who knows... Maybe "the one" will be at this food truck thing on Saturday.  You never know!  Or maybe she'll be at Nightscape tomorrow night.  Or any one of the many other events that I have on the horizon.

Just have to keep hoping that out there someone is a girl that will consider me a keeper and post all kinds of stuff on social media about "hanging out with the boy"  or "date night with my boyfriend tonight!" and stuff like that.  And then I can buy her flowers and do all that cute boyfriend stuff for her.  And make her romantic dinners at home and such.

But one thing I know for sure after all this time?  She's not on a dating site.  I've done online dating to know.  She's not on a dating site.  I'm going to meet her in real life.  And we're going to have a real life "how I met her" story.  Because the girls on online dating sites are just... Impossible.  Flakey.  Fickle.  Impossible.  They don't respond and when they do, the answers are curt and mostly rude and... it's just not a pleasant experience.  Online dating just sucks.

Real world events with copious amounts of beer or wine though?  Doesn't suck.

Anyways... So... I'll just say a silent little wish tonight and each and every night before I go to bed that one day, hopefully soon, I'll meet that one girl.  That one girl that I'll get excited about and finally not be let down when it ends.  Because it won't end.  We'll keep going.  We'll go from seeing each other, to dating... To us telling the whole world we love one another... To us married.

I just have to keep hope that it will happen one day and I'll find her.  Because I just know she's out there.