I’m Jealous Of Mr. Flash
Mr. Flash is "The Keeper" that I've sort of... Imagined in my mind that my ex is madly in love with. He has a couple of million dollar houses in South Florida. And a nice ass condo on South Beach. It's right on the beach. With pool access too and a hot tub.
Keep in mind all I know about this guy is the last time I looked at my exes Instagram like, last summer, when she posted a photo of them getting Chipotle Mexican Grill together and her saying "You know he's a keeper when..."
Presumably when he buys you Chipotle Mexican Grill. Which is grounds for keeper-ism.
Sometimes you fall in love with people... That's what I'm assuming happened to her last summer... Just like what happened to me when I met her like several years ago.
I keep hoping that I meet a new girl that captures my heart and makes me fall head over for new girl... And then I forget about anything in the world except new girl. It's yet to happen. There's never a new girl...
Instead my mind is constantly thinking about her and Mr. Flash. How awesome their lives must be. He takes her out on his yachts down there in Miami. Or out to the finest restaurants South Florida has to offer. Sometimes he drives one of his 17 sports cars... Or sometimes they take the limo.
And she's in disbelief that she could ever meet someone like him. He's amazing. He's like a cross between Matthew McConaughey and... Leonardo DiCapro. Only younger... because both of those actors are getting up there in age.
He's SUPER successful. Self made multi majillionaire. Maybe in finance or real estate. Something Miami-ish. He drinks sophisticated drinks and looks good in every thing.
He winks and it makes people swoon. Even other guys are jealous of other guys that even get to sit near the two of them when they are out on the town.
There isn't a damn thing he doesn't wear right. Even just lounging on the couch.... He's super hot.
Seriously, what the hell Mr. Flash?
I wish I could pull that off. Mr. Flash. How DO you do it?
He's cool and hot at the same time. He never sweats. Even in Miami. HOW is this possible?
He's like the most interesting man in the world guy. He's soo damn awesome. And he keeps getting even more awesome in my mind as each day passes.
He's a genius. His IQ actually can't be charted it's soo high. He actually invented time travel but keeps it a secret because he knows that it has the ability to fall in the wrong hands.
He's so nobel and moral like that. Keeping time travel a secret to keep it out of the hands of evil doers. What a guy! He often volunteers at the old folks home too. Helps the homeless. All kinds of admirable things. He's a role model for children everywhere. He volunteers to help under privileged kids.
His most recent thing is that he booked an entire island to fly her to... Scratch that, he just decided to buy the island... Because why not? He had some extra cash lying around. So he bought her an island to fly her to that he named after here. On the island is a personal masseuse and personal chef, who knows all her favorite dishes.
Even though Mr. Flash is already the best cook there is. He can cook anything and make it taste better than a restaurant. Amazing culinary skills. I'm soo jealous.
They built a resort on the island just for him to fly her there. Fully staffed.
That's where he proposed to her. The ring was so big that it actually started hurting her arm because it was just too heavy. A heavy ass diamond the size of a golfball. So she pleaded with him to buy her a smaller ring. He reluctantly did. But he had the other ring made into a necklace.
Speaking of golf. He owns lots of golf courses. He doesn't play though, because he has a habit of always getting a hole in one every time on every shot even though he isn't even looking at where he's driving the golf ball half the time. He's big on owning lots of things. Most of Miami is actually owned by him in some way or another. He has a beer named after him. Crazy!
HOW did you get a beer named after you?
That's just wow.
I can't compete with that.
He also has a drink named after him in Miami, and a dance move. He got the key to the city... But he gave it back because he's super humble.
He's a smooth talker and the life of the party. Everywhere he goes everyone knows him and has a reserved table waiting. Even in the thick of snowbird season where it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to get in anywhere in Miami...
"I'm sorry we're all booked up for the night.... Oh... Mr. Flash! I had no idea. I apologize. Right this way. You and your lovely lady can sit right here. Best table in the house. The meal is on us."
He just winks. The hostess swoons. The whole restaurant swoons.
The Keeper... Mr. Flash.
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