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The Story Of The 2009 Little Black Dress Pinot Grigio

So I have this bottle of wine.  It's a 2009 Pinot Grigio from Little Black Dress.  I bought it 5 years ago in 2011 for a girl to give to her for her birthday.  I bought it about a week or so before her birthday, which is on groundhogs day.

I'll be honest... I usually don't buy girls bottles of wine.  In fact, I've never bought a girl a bottle of wine.  Not before I met her, not since.  SO why did I buy this girl, who actually at the time wasn't even talking to me... a bottle of wine?  I have no idea.  I can't tell you.  I honestly can't.  But she just... I don't even know.  She has this weird effect on me that I really still don't clearly understand.  And here I still have it, the bottle of wine, for some reason.  I've gone to crack it open and drink it several times and just be like eh... Oh well... but I just can't seem to do it.  Again, I don't exactly know why I keep it.  But I still have it.

Actually let me back up.  Because there's a lot more to this...  In college, I met and fell in love with a girl.  We're talking madly in love.  Crazy in love.  Like I was "THIS" close to proposing to her.  I mean... I seriously thought she was the one.  The only problem?  She was dating someone else.  So, I started dating someone else.  I mean, whatever... It wasn't meant to be.

Fast forward a few years to my senior year.  I'm now living with the girl I was dating.  We're pretty serious.  I like her a lot, I mean, I love her... I don't know if I was "in love" with her... But we were good and I loved her.  We were comfortable.  I probably could have married her and spent the rest of my life with her, in fact, I had actually decided I would do just that later on... In 2009 when this bottle of wine was bottled.  I'll get to that part later.

My senior year, 2004 ish... The girl I'm living with (and dating) goes home early for winter break.  The girl I'd fallen for years previous (my Resident Assistant) in the residence hall asked me if I wanted to hang out at her apartment.  So, I hang out.  We end up staying up and talking.  For hours.  She confesses a personal secret to me that I won't say here.  It was a personal tragedy of sorts and she just really needed someone to confide in and talk to.  We really start to connect over this.  Eventually it's super late and we both end up falling asleep.  She has to be at work early.  She recently graduated and was just working now.

The next morning I go home.  Then the next night I head back to her place.  I stay the night again.  Nothing happens.  But... Something has changed.  She's now single and has told me that she's interested in me.

I won't go into detail of the events of 2004/2005 but suffice it to say... I broke up with the previous girl on New Years Eve.  It was not a good night.  I then dated the other girl for a month.  Eventually... She broke it off with me.  I started to try and mend things with the ex, we were still living together.  Then in the late summer of 2005 I get a phone call from the other girl... She's enrolling in a master's degree and going back to school, same college.  By this point, I was back together again with the girl from college, not my RA but she was also an RA.  They were both Resident Assistants... Just in different buildings.  I have a thing for Resident Assistants apparently.  Actually the most recent girl I dated... was also an RA in college too.  I'm guessing the next girl I date... Yep... Will have probably been an RA in college.  Really they should just make a search filter on the dating sites for girls that were RA's in college.

So the longtime college girl and I are together.  I'll refer to her as D.  The other girl, S.  Alright... So it's September 2005, D's brother has recently passed away.  Me and her were basically back together.  She was in a not so great spot.  So... One thing lead to another... But here I have the girl that I was head over heels for texting and calling me every couple nights.

Then S comes to visit the weekend of 10/24.  October 24th 2005.  She basically says to me that she (S) wants to be in a relationship... Again.

So.. I break it off with the other girl (D).  Again.

I know.  I suck.  But love makes you do things you wouldn't normally do under normal circumstances.  Yes, I still suck.  But I'm just trying to rationalize it.

I try to remain friends with the first RA.  It doesn't work.  We keep starting to flirt every time we talk.  And yes... I'll admit it it.  I missed her.

So... What do I do?  I already told you, I suck.  In December I go back to the other girl.  And you can guess what happened.

The next weekend I'm with S and... She gets an email from D...

Yep.  I'll admit it, I did cheat.  I wasn't thinking.  My head wasn't clear.  I'm rationalizing... there's no excuse for cheating ever.  Obviously I know this now.

Ok so S breaks up with me... Again.

She meets this guy S... So they start dating.  He knocks her up.  At this point, I'm just like ok well me and her will never end up together I guess.  But I'm still crazy in love with S even though that's over and we don't talk anymore.

Then I go back with D.  Kind of.  Not really.  I mean... we... keep it a secret.  Obviously her family hates me by this point, although my mom knows it all because I tell her everything.  My mom hates S and thinks the world of D.

So all through 2006 I'm just like this sucks, I miss S.  Even though, yes, I'm trying to make things work again with D.  Then 2007... My grand fatherpasses away...

So we're all like we're rich!

Not so fast...

Turns out there's a trust and whoever controls the trust has the keys to the cash... Now the guy that declares himself trustee of the estate (my grand father's longtime best friend) decides that he's not going to go quietly into the night when he was asked to step down as trustee.  So, a case is filed in the courts.

Usually when you aren't satisfied with a trustee, as the beneficiary you can ask for a new one.  And they are suppose to say "Okay, I'm sorry I wasn't doing the job you wanted.  Hopefully the next trustee will be able to do a better job."

Instead he was like... NEVER!!!!  And then he jumped over top the pile of cash and clawed at it and wouldn't move from it.

He's still sitting on it.  Every now and then he hands a dollar out... But then he puts a dollar in his own pocket too.  Two for me... And one for you... We're still working on removing him.  Hopefully one of these days he'll be able to finally let go and just hand over the pile of money and go his own way.

This is ALL relevant to the bottle of wine... I promise.

D and I stop dating she meets this other guy.  M.  They start doing their thing.  I sign up for a dating site.

I meet a few girls... Nothing clicks... But it's like eh... You know... It's just dating.  It's how dating is SUPPOSED to be... I don't really much care too much because how can you POSSIBLY care SOOOOO much about a girl only knowing her a short while.  Meanwhile I had this history with this D girl since 2001.

We shared college together.  6 years of history.  I feel all lost and confused.  My anchor is drifting away entangled by some other anchor...

Then the two of them break up.  Me and her start... Having secret rendezvous again.

Yay!

Life is good.  But we're not actually dating.  So, I'm still on the dating site.  Meh.  I start playing shows... I'm just like... Working, the trial drags on and on... At some point I get sued by the trustee because of my blogs.

Then he drops the case the day before.

Meanwhile... back in love land... I start saying to myself... I've known this D person since 2001!  It's now 2009.  There's no way I'm going to meet someone else that will ever have this much significance in my life... Ever.

Oh was I wrong.  Oh boy was I wrong.

Fall of 2009... D comes to visit in October... I decide I'm just going to ask her back and do whatever it takes to marry her and be with her forever and ever...

THE VERY NEXT WEEKEND... She meets her now current husband.

Sigh.  Now what?

More dates.  There's this Jewish attorney girl I get excited about... That fizzles out.  I start dating a girl over in South Jersey.  We just can't seem to make a connection.  Also the bridge fee going back and forth to her place is starting to get rather pricey.  SO that ends.

Meanwhile, I check in with D again... She's "Smitten" as she puts it.

Then I start talking to this girl... The ground hogs day girl birthday girl.  We talk a few times... on and off from early January till late March... Finally we agree on a date.

We meet for a date.  You know... there's something about this girl.  I can't place my finger on it.  But there's something about her.

Mind you, I'd been on dozens of dates with other dating site girls... None of them really struck me as anything out of the ordinary.

This girl though?  I don't know.  Now here's my thing... Technically I'm Jewish.  My mom was.  But seriously I really had no intention of ever stepping foot in a church...

Enter... we'll call her K.  Actually I'm K, so she can be K2.

K2... because her birthday is on grounds hog day...2/2.  K2.  That works.

This girl.  Ok so we go on a date.  Mind you the whole time I'm thinking of D.  But REALLY... I'm also still in love with S.

It's complicated.

I have a show the next night.  K2 is all like... I'll come to the show with my friend J!

I'm like that sounds rad.  The show is canceled.  We end up hitting up Bahama Breeze.

Something strikes me about this girl.  Like... There's something I just can't put my finger on.

Her eyes.  Maybe.  They're super beautiful.  I don't know what it is.  She's different.  She's classy, yet... down home.

She was an RA in college.  Of course she was.

Her friend J kind of weirds me out a little.  I mean, she's cool too... But she's a bit intense.  I can't handle her.  But I'm curious.  I'm drawn in.  I'm... Slightly hooked.

Fast forward a few days.  I find out that D and this guy A are REALLY getting along famously... I used my mom's Facebook account to stalk D's Facebook.

Something goes wrong with the case in Cali.

Something goes wrong at work...

I'm fuming.  I pick a fight with K2.  I basically hone in on this whole church thing and I'm like... Seriously God doesn't seem to care about me at all... Look at all this crap.  I tell her I'd never go to church and then we go our separate ways.  Before we stop talking about each other...

I say "If you ever write about me... I'll legal action you."  because I had Googled and found this one article about this guy she dated and she critiqued him or something.  Not that I really cared in reality if she wrote about me.  I mean she could write about me and I wouldn't mind.

Ok so... we stop talking to one another.

I'm writing about her.  Still.  Seriously.  I can't stop!  I don't know why?  It's ridiculous even to me.  I'm doing exactly what I told her NOT to do.  Which is crazy.  But... I still can't get her off my mind.  What the heck?  I know.

We'll get to more of this a little later.

Anyways, Immediately I feel bad.  Hmmm weird.  Why should I feel bad.  I don't know this girl.  I mean I met her twice.  So what?  Bid deal.

I go one some more dates with other girls.  I can't... Stop thinking about her.

Why?

This is where things get interesting.

So earlier that year I'd placed Google Analytics on my blog.  Because I wanted to catch the trustee guy snooping my stuff.  But when he dropped his case... I forgot about it.

So I can't shake this girl.  The K2 girl.  I decide I must see her again.  I email her and see if she wants to take photos of me.  Music artist photos.

She agrees.

So we take the photos.

From the moment that I saw her again in the parking lot in Valley Forge Park... getting out of that old beige beat up Toyota with a dent on the front passenger side.  My heart skipped a beat or two.

So we take photos.

Then we hang out again a few more times.  Yes, I suck.  I used the photos as an excuse to see her again.

She's a smart one though.  REAL smart.  She knew I was making excuses just to see her, she told me "You don't have to make excuses just to talk to me".

That made me melt.  Because to me, it meant she was interested.

We're sitting on her old beat up white couch over the summer passing a stuffed animal back and forth playing catch with it... Which is strange... but at the time it made sense.

Then we kiss.  I've never felt anything like the way I did when that kiss happened.  Not with D... Or S.

That kiss was electric.

I was hooked.

She slowly withdraws.  Eventually she takes me off as friend on Facebook.  I noticed RIGHT away because I'd been looking for her snarky statuses.  I decide to message her and put my feelings right out there.  I may have told her I loved her.  Which probably  was something you aren't supposed to say to a girl that just removed you from Facebook after you and her kind of dating and only sharing a first kiss.  I find out from her roomie that there's more to the story.  This J guy.

I COMPLETELY understand right away.  Because... I had D from college (and S).  SO she had this J guy. Her roomie A told me all she knew about this J guy.

At this point she's on my mind a lot.  Which is strange.  But I decided to go with her roomie's advice and date someone new.  M.

So... M and I start dating...  It's like... September ish... 2010.

M and decide to go on several dates.  Then I start communicating again with K2.  She... wanted to know about the new girl I was dating because she had found out about it from her roomie...

Then I go on a haunted hayride with M... I get a frantic phone call from K2... She lost some photos and she was wondering if I could help.  I tell her I'm kind of on a date but I'll be over after.

SO I go over and help recover the lost photos.

K2 decides she's into me.  That she wants to date me.  Now I have to break off with M.

I feel like I've been here before.

On October 24th 2010... 5 years after breaking it off with D for S...  I'm sitting there about to change my relationship status on Facebook to in a relationship with K2.

But we have to wait until midnight because it's J's birthday.

Also earlier that day on Sunday October 24th, 2010... I went to church with K2.

Yes.  I went to church.  The EXACT thing I said I would NEVER DO.  She got me to do.  The very thing we fought about after our first two dates about 6 months earlier.

This is just getting weird.

This girl.  And her eyes.  It's those eyes of hers.  They have this effect.

Fast forward about 2 weeks. She breaks up with me in Bahama Breeze.

Now starts the twittering and blogging.  She's on my mind like 24/7.  I notice that I'm seeing recurring hits on my analytics.  I'd like to note that I haven't looked at my analytics since this past summer.  I also haven't read any of K2's stuff online since this summer either.

Believe me... I was an avid reader.  Do I miss reading it?  Yes.  Can I bring my self to read it again?  Well... She was dating someone else when I stopped.  I feel like... I should have just been able to stop thinking about her when I stopped reading her stuff...

That's not the case it seems.  Because I'm still here writing about her.

I guess it would just hurt too much to see her happy with someone else.  Even though at the same time, I want her to be happy because I care about her a ton.  But... It just hurts to know someone you want... Is fine without you.

Truth.

It hurt with D, it hurt with S, it hurt with K2.

Anyways, so we start this thing where we're reading one another's twitters and blogs... because... I actually kind of didn't understand this.

She broke up with me... But she was still wanting to know what I was up to?  I knew that she was reading my stuff because  I saw the hits on Analytics.

This confused me for about 5 years until one of my friends finally explained it to me. It's just something girls do.  My friend said to me... Let me ask you this....

You trade stocks right?

I said yes.  My friend said... You sell bad ones right?  You get burned right?

I said yes.

She said... Do you still look up those stock tickers and find out how that stock is doing even though you never intend to invest money with that company ever again...

Yes.

Oh.

I see.

She said to me... Exactly.

So I bought this bottle of wine for her in 2011...

In 2013 her and my trustee both move to the same area in Florida.

in 2015 she meets this new guy and... I stop reading her stuff.  I stop trying to think about her.  It doesn't work.

But out of all the girls I've ever met... I've just never met anyone that's had such a profound effect on my mind.

Maybe I'm making connections where there are none...

But doesn't everyone find it just a little suspicious.

The only girl I've ever said to...

"I don't go to church and I'm not all about that god stuff..."

"If you ever write about me I'll take legal action."  Which I only said because of what was happening with the trustee guy with my grandparents trust.

Has me going to church.

Writing about her.

It's almost like some higher power decided to use a girl and make me fall in love with her... and use a guy holding my trust fund money from me.. and have me work at a religious affiliated workplace for 10 years...

To teach me a lesson.

I probably should have figured out what that lesson is already.

I'm still not sure.

Enter 2015 October 24th...  My mom calls me to tell me she had some breathing troubles the night before.

2 days later my mom goes to the ICU... and doesn't make it out of the hospital.

I feel like at some point in the future... This bottle of wine will make since.

K2 will make sense.  Trustee guy will make sense.

October 24th will make sense.

Or maybe it won't.

But I will say one thing...

If there is a rhyme and reason to any of this... It's that I have learned the most frustrating thing in the world is knowing things are there...

That you can't have.

Not being able to have what you want.  Having it taunted in front of your face.

Love.  Money.

Just always at the tip of your fingers.  Just beyond the very grasp of your hands.

Love... watching your every move.

Money... It's there with love... In the same place that love is... Florida.  Paradise.

Yet neither one can be obtained.  And here I am... Working.  Living.  In the cold.

Mostly just feeling as though I'm being punished, by this God of the heavens, and wondering why I'm being punished.

Probably because I cheated on S with D.

Don't cheat.  This is probably what this is all about.  I'm being taught a very hard and long and drawn out life lesson that started on October 24th 2005.

Or maybe because I...

I should just drink this bottle of Pinot Grigio and be done with it.  Just close out a chapter of my life.

But it's hard.  You know?  I guess for now I'll just keep it on the shelf.  Maybe there will be a final ending to this story that is the 2009 bottle of Little Black Dress Pino Grigio.

For now... I'll just keep blogging probably.  And going on more dates... Looking for love.  And waiting for the next hearing date with the trust...

Oh so anyways when my mom passed away, D and I became friends again on Facebook and started talking.

So we're are friends again on Facebook now.  She's married with a kid... and S added me years ago.  She's not married, but she has a kid.

And K2... I don't know.  I stopped reading her stuff over the summer when I was overcome with jealousy.

I'm still jealous.

Such is life.

People move on and meet new people.  Some people get stuck in the past.

Some day this whole blog post will all make sense.  Right now... I'm still not certain as to what is going on.  But I feel like it has something to do with love and money.  And going to church for a girl.

And October 24th.

And a bottle of Pino Grigio wine.

And a long as heck blog post.  Wow.  did I really just spend like 3 hour writing this?  I did.  It's almost 4am.  I'm going to bed.  Good thing I don't have to work tomorrow because I worked Saturday.

Good night.