BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

Righting The Ship

So, it's weird.  I mean, most people who are trying to accomplish something, are... In so many words, coming from the bottom and making it to the top.

My view, I suppose, is that I'm trying to right the ship.  I'm trying to get back to where things "should be".

I mean, okay, lets assume certain people had never done things they did.... And there's a LOT of variables  here.

I mean, I don't know, if my grandmom had outlived my grandfather.... That would have changed a lot.

I mean, okay if that had happened, there would be no trust right now.  If my grandfather and my grandmom's years that they passed were reversed...

Things would be SOOO different.

My grandmom would have sold the houses in cali and moved back here to Philadelphia to be closer to us.

That means the money would have been moved with her.  While the original trust would have probably stuck... The changes would have never been made.  That means, on my 30th birthday, the trust would have been dissolved and I would have the proceeds outright.

That also means that almost 10 years of court filings would have never happened, that was a million right there in lost money.  That also means that money never would have been spent by the previous trustee the way it was...

I also means that not only would the money not have been wasted, it means it would have been invested... Meaning... There would be a LOT more... I mean... A LOT.

I would have never probably worked the job I worked.  I would have just gone right to being a musician and acting... I would have spent every day doing that stuff, and I would be FAR better at it than I am now... Written far more songs, and spent time in NYC and LA auditioning.

Anyways, so my thing is... In my view?  My world as it is right now, was never supposed to happen.

It's supposed to be different.  And additionally, because I should be in a totally different place...

I probably would have found love already.

Who knows, maybe I would have never made it as a musician or actor, but I'm willing to bet I would have met her somewhere along the line trying.  And... Life would just be SOOO different because I would have multiple millions in the bank.

I'd be so much more carefree, so much more relaxed...

I'd be a totally different person...

But, here we are...

So my job, is to take what I've got, and steer it in the direction that I want.  Take the things I do have and get back to where I'm supposed to be.

That's pretty much my goal.

To continue to invest and try to build back up the original investments that my grandparents owned.

To get to the point where I can work on music and movies and books full time.

To get to where I would have been, if things had never gone the way they did... If my grandmom had outlived my grandfather and moved back here...

Who knows... Yes, there's always the possibility that other bad things could have happened... I guess you never can predict how things would have gone.

It's interesting too because if that would have happened, I probably wouldn't have the novel that I'm writing... I'd probably have a different one maybe...

But, the thing is... If things had gone that way, I don't think I would have met the person who inspired the novel.  So, it wouldn't exist.

I don't know, I guess it's just like, why did thing go the way they went?

I don't know... But what I do know is, my goal right now is to continue to right the ship in the direction that I want things to go.

Clear out the junk in my house... Get my investments to the point where they can pay for trips to LA and NYC to go to auditions.... Make more music, finish my book... and get it made into a movie...

Just do all that stuff... And then hopefully when I get back to that path in life where I'm sure that I should have gone... I meet her.

I've known all along though that she isn't in Philly.  I've never fallen in love with anyone who's a true native Philly person.  Pretty much any of the previous exes of mine that went anywhere significant... All of them were from other places.

So, I'm 100 percent sure, without a doubt, that the one out there I'm supposed to meet... Isn't around here... She's either in NYC or LA, or something like that.  She's just in a place that's more "A-game" territory.

Basically if I want to meet her, I need to then elevate myself back to A-Game... I need to get my personal situation back to where things would have been.

Starting from the bottom... not to get to the top... but to get back to the top.  I'm righting the ship and trying to put things back to where they would have been if things in my past had gone differently.

It's an interesting thing though, like, if any of us could change something in our past... How would that change the now... And would you do it?

I guess if I knew the outcome lead to something better, to a better life, I would...

Anyways, so, that's where I'm at... I have goals and directions that I want to get things and that's where I'm focused, to try and get myself back to where I could have been if specific things in my past had happened differently.

I guess that's the journey though, right?  Life is all about the journey.

I used to be super angry about it... But I guess now-a-days I'm more just like, I look at it as... Well, there's work to be done... Time to get to work!

There are goals to achieve and that's my focus right now.