BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

A Tale of Two Sisters (Updated)

So, lately I've just had almost too much stuff happening to blog about.  It's hard to keep up.  So, I'm paraphrasing.  Or just generally being concise.  There's so much stuff that doesn't make it to the blog.

Anyways, the latest news is...

So, here's a new one on the disaster that we call dating...

I start talking to a girl maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago?  We send a message or two back and forth pretty much on a daily basis.  She's moving back to this area from the west coast.

She's staying with her sister temporarily.  We get to know one another more and more.  We keep chatting.  Then Saturday... Communication stops.  No return message to my last message that I sent her way.

Oh well.  That's dating sites.

Then, yesterday morning ish... I match with someone on another site.  She says hello.  I say hello back.  We chat.  Then today... I realize...

It's the sister of the one I had been talking to.

So, I tell her that I was talking to her sister, but her sister seemed to have lost interest.  She (the second sister I recently started talking with) is still interested.  SO I guess we'll keep chatting. Apparently the first sister was going to tell me that she thought that her sister would be a better match for me anyways, so it's fine that we're now talking as opposed to the other sister.

So that's the tale of two sisters.

Two sisters is a fascinating dynamic.  I mean okay, so think about when you are born.  You have no choice which sibling scenario you get.  That's completely out of your hands.  You can't choose what combination you get.

You could be a two sisters.  You could be two brothers.  You could be a brother and sister.  You could be a brother and two sisters.  You could be a sister and two brothers.  You could be any other combination of... Or an only child.  You could have twelve siblings.

You have no choice.  You can't pick and choose.  You can't choose if you get successful siblings, or siblings that can barely wake up in the morning.

That's completely out of your hand.  You could have two sisters and one is disabled.  And the one that isn't disabled cares for the other.  Or you could have two sisters and one is a doctor and one is a lawyer.  Or you could have two brothers and one is a pop singer and makes 100 million dollars.  And the other is a social worker and makes less than 30k a year.

You can't choose that.  You can't at all.

You just get what you get.

My mom was a two sister scenario.  Her sister and her never got along though.  They were always at ends with one another.  Always butting heads.

Today as I write this, or as I'm actually hitting the publish button, yesterday, marks 9 months since I lost my mom.  I couldn't tell you what my aunt is thinking or feeling.  I have to wonder if she realizes.  She might not.  I guess some sisters are close.  Some are not.  It's all luck of the draw really.  I haven't actually spoken to my aunt about anything but money related to the trust.

So I'm not sure she's really all that aware.

Some sisters are super close though.  I feel like I don't have a reason why I think the two sister dynamic is fascinating.  I just have noticed in general that when you have a two sister scenario they seem to be more interesting than any other sibling setup.  Of all the girls I've dated, when there's a brother involved, or more than just a second sister, it's not the same.  It's like.. When there are just two sisters, there's a much more... It's kind of like they have this thing where it's almost like a second half of the one sister.  It's like they are two pieces of one whole.  But sometimes they do their own thing and sometimes they work together for something that joins them.

I mean my mom and her sister had this trust thing of their parents that they shared.  So there was just that whole dynamic.  I think there was also a competition aspect there.  Where they wanted to kind of always try to compete with one another for who's better.  It's like half competition between two sisters and half working together.

I guess that's why I find it interesting/fascinating.

So anyways I think I'll go on a date with this one girl and see where it goes.

It's an interesting scenario.  I started talking to the one and she basically decided she wasn't interested.  So then by luck I matched on a completely different dating site and started talking to the other sister.

Life is weird like that.  Who knows, lets say I decide to go on a date with this girl.  And then we start dating.  And then I'm spending time with her... She seems to be close to her sister from what I can tell of the conversations I've had with both.  What if one night we hang out and I meet her sister.  The one that wasn't interested in me.  What if via text we didn't have much connection, but what if in person we find there's WAY more of a connection than with the other sister.

Then it's complicated.  It's like wait.  Maybe we messed up!

That's dating though.  It's complicated.  It's messy.  I know people that have had a group of friends and there was one girl and two guys in the group... And she dated this one guy but realized that the second guy and her had WAY more chemistry.  She had to break up with the one guy and then when she tried to date the other guy... things got messy.

But that's love.  It's never simple.  It's always messy.  You always realize you love the person that is the most complicated to be with.

Tonight I went out to play some quizzo.  It was this one new bar in Phoenixville I've never been to.  Stable 12.  It was cool.  I mean so we were outside.  There was a quizzo host and he also DJ'ed some pretty good music.

I went inside though to use the bathroom and they had country music playing.  You know, I can't explain it for the life of me, but I just can't get into country music.  I think it's the whole southern voice thing.  I just find it annoying and twangy.  I could never live in the south.  I'd just be like annoyed by everyone that speaks.

Who knows?  I just find country music so... Uncomfortable to listen to.  It just makes me feel like uneasy.  It's like the complete opposite of when I hear a song I really like.

Weird right?  I don't know, it just feels "wrong" to listen to it.  Like I'm breaking some law.  It's that feeling you get when you are doing something you aren't supposed to do.  That's every time I hear a country song.

With the exception of Johnny Cash.  That feels fine.  Oh and the guy from Hootie and the Blowfish.  For some reason I can stand his newer music.  I think it's because Hootie and the Blowfish was so awesome that even though that guy changed from rock/pop to country I'm okay with that.  Although to be honest, Darius Rucker really needs to go back to making more rock/pop music.  I guess he's technically a singer/songwriter.  So really he's just kind of a cross genre artist.

But all other music in that country genre?  I don't know.  I just can't seem to get into it.  The songs just don't stick for me.  I just can't seem to get them to mesh well with my eardrums like alt rock/pop music does.

Who knows.  I guess it's a good thing I have no plans to move to the south and I guess it's a good thing quizzo was outside tonight and not inside.  Although they probably would have turned off the music to have quizzo.  So I guess the point is moot.

I'm telling you though, I'm probably going to fall in love with a girl that loves all the stuff I don't really like.  Country music, football... She'll just basically be my completely opposite.  Just you watch.  That's how fate works.  It's cruel and unusual and has a twisted sense of humor.

In the mean time, you know... I'm kind of just okay with the whole single life.  I mean there's nothing wrong with just enjoying your 30s being single.  Tonight especially I was reminded of this... So the quizzo I went to was with a meetup group.  There were divorced people there.  And... Honestly?  I'm glad I'm not divorced.  I know, it sounds awful.   But... I'm actually glad I never even met someone to get married to, to then get divorced from.

I'm almost appreciating that I HAVEN'T met someone and that I've just stayed single.  I feel like I'm almost better off as never having gotten that far in a relationship.  Things right now for me are simple.  It's just me and the cats in this house.  I work, I play, I have very few major responsibilities.  It's just a decent time in my life actually.

I mean all things considered, it could have turned out worse.

I mean I just ate some little individually wrapped mini chocolates, followed by some olives from the Wegmans olive bar, and then ate ice cream with a spoon right out of the pint container.  If that isn't living single... I don't know what is.

Tonight I had a couple pints of beer at quizzo then went to wegmans and now I'm about to head to bed.

I mean, life isn't too bad.  Tomorrow night I'm off the Bethlehem for the musikfest show.  I have a half day from work.. I plan to come home and get things done here at home, knock a few items off my chore list... Then drive up and enjoy a beer or two and some live music.

I've kind of... Well I haven't "given up" hope... But I'm just like... You know what... If I stay single, maybe it's because I'm being saved from meeting someone that I would only later end up getting tangled up in some very messy divorce.  Maybe it's just better to stay single.

New life goal: Avoid falling in love with a girl that likes country music.  Or just avoid falling in love in general.  Avoid getting divorced.  Avoid falling in love with the other sister if I end up dating the one sister.  Avoid mess.  Avoid complicated scenarios.  Just go to quizzo, and concerts, and work on music and books and focus on my own life... What's the phrase?  "You do you".  That's what I'm gonna do.  Just going to do my own thing.

As you can see there's lots going on.  Just trying to stay busy and keep my head up.  Which is tough especially because I hit another monthly reminder of my mom being gone now 9 months.  But, I just keep going and doing and letting life happen.