BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

Rio

So tonight I was the last to leave the party.  That's kind of how my life is lately.  See all the other people at the party were married or married with kids.  They have to go be responsible parents and what not.

Apparently, according to some middle aged married guy with kids... "I've got it made".

And according to another couple they can't understand how I'm still single.  They are going to pray for me to find someone.

So according to the one middle aged guy... He's like telling me that I should go to Rio for the olympics.

His opening statement was "How much debt do you have?"

I told him I have none.  I told him I have "Significant savings".

He was like...  So you could buy a plane ticket to Rio for the olympics.  I'm like "Yeah.  I could if I wanted to."  He's like, "You should do that."

He basically made it seem like being married and having kids is some kind of burden.  I'm thinking in my head... You know, it's not like anyone FORCED people to get married or have kids.  I mean, I'm single... I have no kids..  I just haven't met anyone (besides Kara) that I could see myself getting down on one knee and popping a ring out and asking if she'd marry me.  I don't know, there's just no one that I've been THAT taken with (besides Kara) enough that I could see myself sharing my life with.

I do my own thing.  I just go places, I stay out late.  I do whatever I want when I want and how I want.  There's no one else but me at this point in my life.  And, I guess I've kind of realized I sort of like it.  It's not bad.  I mean... I live alone in a 4 bedroom house.  I don't have to fight for some parking spot that's supposed to be reserved but someone else stole it...

If I come home and someone else is in my drive way... I can call the local police department and get their car towed away.  Private property.  And I own it.  You park on my property and you get towed away.

I don't have some person stomping around upstairs making a ton of noise above me in an apartment.

I own the upstairs and the downstairs.  I own it all.  I can make all the noise I want.  At any hour of the morning or night.  Or I can make no noise.

I mean, if I wanted to I could book a flight to Rio.  I could book a hotel.  I could do whatever the heck I want.  Because I'm single and don't have kids or a wife.  Honestly... It's not as bad as I once thought it was.

All these married people I meet look at me like I'm some kind of golden child blessed chosen one.

I mean, really?  Married life CAN'T be THAT bad.  I'd give ANYTHING to meet that one love of my life and live with her and have kids with her.  Instead it's just me and this house and these cats and the soon to be money that I'll be receiving in the near future.

I go out, I mingle, I close down the karaoke bar (last night) and close down the garden party (tonight).

I can stay out as late as I want because I don't have kids to put to bed.  I don't have to stop mid conversation and pull out my phone and say "Oh, I'm sorry I have to get this, it's my wife calling."

It's just me.

One of the couples, the mom, was like "I don't get why you're single".

I felt like saying "because I met Kara and she didn't want me back, and I've yet to meet anyone else that sparks my heart as much as her."

Instead, because it's too much to explain to someone, I just shrug and say... "I guess I just haven't met the one yet."

This one lady is going to try to match me up with someone.  I like... "Have at it."

We'll see what she comes up with.  She basically did an inventory of what I have to offer.

She's like.... Let me get this straight...

-You own your own house.

Yes.

-You have a full time salaried job with benefits.

Yes.

-You have a car.

Yes.

-You are actively looking for someone to date and be in a relationship with.

Yes.

-You have a trust fund.

Yes.

-You have interesting and unique hobbies, you write music and you're working on a book.

Yes and yes.

-You have great social skills.  You've been chatting up everyone at this party tonight.  You seem to go out a lot to a lot of different social functions.

Yep.

-You seem well educated, you listen to iTunes U courses from Yale!

Mmm hmm... and Stanford, and MIT, and Harvard... etc. etc.

-I don't understand why you're single.

Me neither.  I just haven't me 'the one' I guess.

 

She said that she's going to pray for me and try to help me find that one.

I said... Sounds good to me!

The other guy wants me to go to Rio to the olympics.  He seems to think that I'll find a girl there.

 

My thing is... I'll just meet her when I meet her.  My next event is my neighbor's play.  So I'll head out to that.  After that I have a few other events planned.

See, dating is entirely a numbers game.  It's 100 percent pure luck.  When you meet that special someone you meet them.  An until then you have old married people trying to give you advice.  Which is 100 percent useless.  Because dating is 100 percent luck.  That person that you click with has to cross your paths.  There's no rhyme or reason to it.  You can't CREATE sparks.  You can't MAKE love happen.

Either you feel something for someone that you meet... Of you don't.  And until you meet that person... You can't feel anything.

Unti then you just go out and come home late.  You close down the bar.  You chat with everyone and anyone because any conversation could be a lead to that person that you one day meet and marry.

I have NO idea when I'll meet the girl that I marry.  She could be sitting next to me on a flight somewhere.  She could be sitting next to me at some coffee shop.  She could be friends with someone that's friends with someone I know and get invited to a party or a show and then we get introduced and that's all it takes.  Then we become inseparable.

So why am I not married yet at 33?  I just haven't crossed paths with that one special girl.  I mean, to ME, I would have married Kara in a heart beat without hesitation.  But to her?  She had all kinds of hesitation.  I wasn't her "one".  I was just some guy that she crossed paths with... But I wasn't that one special one that made her heart skip a beat.  She was to me... But that doesn't matter because both people have to be like that to one another.  IF you only have one day love... Things don't work out.

So, I have to keep waiting until that path is crossed and that one girl walks into my life.  That one girl that just completely and absolutely takes me by storm.

And maybe I THINK Kara was all that and a bag of chips... But maybe the next girl that I meet... She might be all that and 2 bags of chips and a Wawa hoagie, and Wawa mac and cheese.  And then on top of that I also get a 10 dollar Wawa gift card and a Wawa coffee.

And then I'll just be like WOW.  This girl is AMAZING!

But until then the closest thing I have to ever feeling so ga ga in love that I would have married the person is Kara.  But I'm sure there's someone else out there that will take my heart by storm 10 fold.

Just have to keep doing things and keep busy until it happens.

I think it's just funny the stuff people say at parties.  I mean what's my hurry?  I'm 33.  I could stay single for another 5 years and still end up getting married at 38 and having a kid at 40.  I mean, I don't see the rush for any of that.  Sure I'd love to meet that special someone tomorrow... but it's beyond my control.  I can't decide when she'll walk into my life.  It could be tomorrow, or it could be 5 years from now.

So for now... I'm just a single guy that lives alone and is the last to leave the party.  Life isn't a race.  I don't care... I'm single, I live alone in a house (with no mortgage on it) I drive a car (with no car payment), I work a full time job, I have interesting hobbies like writing music and books, I have a 7 figure trust fund with my name on it...

And when I meet her... I'll meet her.  And I'll get married when it happens.  And I'll have kids when it happens.  For now.. I come home and I have a couple scoops of ice cream straight out of the container because everything in the fridge and freezer is mine and I don't have roommates or anyone else to share or ask permission from.

it's just me.  And honestly?  It's not so bad.

And maybe I'll go to Rio for the olympics and maybe I won't.  Or maybe I'll just keep living life day to day and doing whatever is next on my little "local events" around town list.

I don't know what's going to happen or what tomorrow will bring.  All I know is that I just have to keep hoping that I cross paths with that special someone.  Just like so many other's have had happen to them.  I mean, think about the person you are with?  Imagine if you'd just never crossed paths.  Who else would you be with right now?  Anyone?  No one?  How would that change your life if you had never crossed paths with your current girlfriend or boyfriend or husband or wife?

Is there any other person that you have met or have known that you could see yourself with?  Because the whole key to the entire dating or falling in love or getting married process is 100 percent just luck.  You have to be in the right place at the right time.

That's what it all relies on.  There's no magic skill that someone can have.  There's no way to make yourself fall in love with just any old person.

It's just 100 percent luck of crossing paths with that person in the first place.

Otherwise you'd be with someone else that you met before the person you are with and you would have just "made yourself" fall in love with that previous person.  But even people that tried to make themselves fall in love... that never ends well.  They might THINK they are in love.... They might even get married for a short while... But then they end up going through the painful process of getting divorced.

So, I'll just keep crossing my fingers hoping for that luck to enter my life and help me meet that 1 girl.  That one special girl.

For now... Croquet part was good!  Minus the fact that the future love of my life wasn't at the party.  But besides that minor detail?  It was a great party!

Oh and the party was to raise money for the MS bike city to shore event.  So, a lot of money was raised.  Which is pretty awesome.  So, like I said, minus the whole, still not meeting the love of my life thing.... It was an awesome night!