BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

Primaries

I kind of didn't vote today.  I was going to.  But... I don't know, I just wasn't feeling it when I left work.  I went to yoga instead.  Call me crazy... But... I guess I... It's stupid really.  It's SOOO stupid.

But... Alright... So... I started reading my analytics again.  And there's been hits from this one recurring user.

So... I worked on this one blog post ALL Sunday, and Sunday during the day I saw a hit from this person.   And I was like NOOOOOOO... I didn't have the post done in time.

So... I worked on finishing it.  I put my Instagram snapshots in and wrote it super long so that there would be a nice good long blog to read.

Come Monday morning there was still no post.  I thought ok that's ok.  Oh well.  Again, it's stupid because who cares if she still reads it!  I mean... She has a boyfriend anyways.  So who cares.  It's over. I lost.  He won.  She won... She's got a boy and a great job and we don't even speak anymore anyways.

But... I just... I don't know... I like that you read it I guess.  Part of me just... wants to write you stupid little funny blogs for you to read and laugh at over your morning coffee or at night before you go to sleep.

And then I see dots that you've read it.  And then... You go about your day working and living... and probably texting little "I love you's" to your boyfriend.  Who cares.

I just liked that you read it.  Honestly... You're the only reader anyways.  There's a stray Google search result every now and then.  There's web crawler bots...

There's a friend if I link to it on Facebook.  But no one else actively reads it.

It's just you.  You and your 10 or 15 hits month... That's it.  Your hits on my blog posts... from 2010 onward...

And my only goal that I told myself over and over again was to just blog normal things.  Just write stupid funny things.  Don't blog ABOUT her.  Don't scare her away.  And then when you don't read it for a few days... I get nervous.  I scared you away.

I probably scared you away.  You'll never read it again.  And then I have a sinking feeling in my chest.  I feel sad.  And just when I feel like I'll never see a hit...

There's a hit.

But by that time I've gone on some stupid rant of some sort and I feel dumb.

Who knows... maybe you read it for the stupid rants instead of nice pretty little funny posts like I want.

And my thing is... I know you have a life.  I know you have family, and friends... and obviously job... and your boyfriend.

And this is why it's stupid.  Because I'm not even one of those things that you spend time on... I'm not a friend.  We don't even talk.  I'm not in your life at all.

It's just... those dots.  When I see those little hits... I don't know.  I know you're there reading what I'm writing.

It's just... You're still there in some way.  And you kind of give me purpose to write.  You give me... something to think about to look forward to.  Because no one else gives a crap.  No one else reads it.

It's just YOU.  No one else seems to pay attention.  When I would post a new song... No one else in my family or friends would know for weeks that I posted it...

But your hit would be the first.

I saw a hit from you on Sunday.  I finished my blog hoping maybe you'd read it... Monday... another blog.  No hit.  Tuesday...

Still no Plantation, Florida hit.

Maybe you just are having a busy week.  Or maybe you lost interest.  Maybe you just finally said... Enough is enough... and you finally stopped.  My biggest fear in the world...

You finally decided to delete the bookmark and stop reading it.  Sigh.  This is so silly though... I guess.  It's just... I don't know why it means the world to me.  But it does...

I write blogs.  You read them.  I don't know.  You're there following my progress.  You're seeing what I'm up to.  Even though you have a completely different new life... and there isn't a reason for you to even read it...

But you still read it...

I wish we could just say... here's the deal.  You read my blog... I write blogs... that are funny, silly.  Make your day brighter.  I don't mention you.

I just make blogs... and you read them.

I see your hits... and know you're still there between your family, friends, work, boyfriend... TV shows... Cats... Whatever...

Between all that, you still take a peek.

And we just agree to leave it at that.

I guess I'll just keep blogging.  I'll just keep checking my analytics for hits.

See... This is what happens when a boy falls in love with a girl.  He settles for wishing that she'd just read his blog from afar.... Even though he KNOWS there's never any hope of seeing her again.  Knowing her again.  Hearing her voice.  He knows she's even with someone new...

It's this silly?  It's so silly.  But... I can't just... stop.  Sigh.

Anyways... Oh yeah... I didn't vote.  I needed people around me, without a blog hit I just felt sad... So instead, I went to yoga.  And then I went to trivia.

But I just checked the results and Hillary is winning that crap anyways.... So it doesn't matter if I voted or not.  I know... Everyone is all about feeling the bern.  But as my one coworker put it... Hilly is the most qualified for the job.

From a hiring perspective... If I were to hire someone as president... I'd hire Hilary.

Besides the last time we had a woman in the oval office it.... Oh... Wait... We've never had a woman in the oval office.  Have we?

MY point exactly.

Also if you look up statistics on women managed companies versus men as CEO...

WELL...

I'll just leave this right here....

http://fortune.com/2015/03/03/women-led-companies-perform-three-times-better-than-the-sp-500/

My point exactly.

Anyways maybe there will be another Plantation, FL hit.  Maybe there won't.  Heck... Maybe it's not actually you.  I don't know... But maybe there will be a hit and you'll get all caught up on your leisure blog reading in between your other life things...

And if the hits keep coming... Then I'll stop worry about you abandoning your blog reading... and write silly blogs for your amusement.  And if they stop coming... Then they stop coming.  And I'll know that you probably just have so much better things to do in your life than read my silly little blog.  Which is fine... It's all so silly anyways... me sitting there checking my analytics once or twice or three times a day to see if you read my latest post.

And if they do stop... I'll probably just keep blogging.  Maybe not as often.  But... I'll try to keep it going without my fanbase of 1.

But... a little piece of my heart has you still there... knowing that you still know what I'm up to.