Memory Songs
In the last few days the song Kyrie came up on my iPad while I was driving around in my Honda Fit. Mind you, I have about 15 thousand songs on my iPad. So it's not often that a song will come up. Actually, according to iTunes I have 38.4 days worth of music if I let it play 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
So you can imagine sometimes it can be a while before I hear the same song twice on shuffle. Sometimes I'll get the same song again and again. I usually don't let shuffle play all the way through from song 1 to the very last song. Usually I'll like an album or something and then I'll put that one album on shuffle. That clears the previous shuffling. Then I have to shuffle it again if I want to have my entire library shuffle. So, I'll listen to an album, then go back to shuffle again, which is how I get the same songs over and over again.
Every day I'm shuffling (my iPad playlist).
Okay, so... Sometimes the same songs will come up again and again early on in the shuffle. I don't know if this is just chance, or perhaps some kind of algorithm created by Apple to try and guess the songs I like based on previous play count or something like that? That's entirely possible. I'm not personally familiar with the programing code/engine the drives the Apple music app on the iOS devices.
Well... This song Kyrie came up. Every time it comes up, I usually tend to hit repeat. Then I hit repeat again. I have a handful of songs that just kind of grab my attention like that. I don't know why each one does? They just do. It's strange. Well... some of the songs I know why I listen to them over and over again. But that's a long story for each song. Each one has it's own unique little history behind why it's significant to me. It's kind of like... People you meet. Or places you go. Most of life is like a shuffle playlist. You talk to someone, they walk into your life, and walk out... Without much of a thought. The next person comes into your life and they are there just like the next song comes on shuffle... Then someone new... And maybe someone from a long time ago comes back up on shuffle. Every now and then you get a person on repeat. And it's just like listening to the same song over and over again. Or same album. They are there on repeat.
Places too... Sometimes you go to one place, then somewhere new. Each place is the same as a 4 minute pop song on shuffle. Then on to the next and by the time you hit the another new place... You don't much give the previous place a thought...
Some places stick though. Some places you like. And you go back again and again. I have my favorite places to write. I also just have places that I enjoy to go to over and over again. Everyone has that I'm sure though. For example, for my mom this was Maine. She loved Maine. She loved camp. So, now I go over and over again too. For my Grandparents this was France. A small town in wine country. My grandmother loved it there. Quiet, on a river. I can't remember the name of the town but my sister might remember. I'm sure my Aunt knows as well. They traveled all over, but for my grandmom, it was that small town in France that she loved.
Some places, some people, some things... Some songs. You just come back to again and again.
Well I put Kyrie on repeat when it came up. Not on purpose but... I hit play for a second time when it finished. Then I hit play for a third time... And a fourth. It's ultra catchy. I tried to figure out why I dig it so much. I like the lyrics. I like the production style. Those cheesy 80s riffs and synths. I love 80s music. It's so fantastic. I just love the melodies. I think the 80s were awesome. Then again, I was born in the 80s so I'm biased. 80s in Southern California. Those are my earliest memories. So maybe this song just reminds me of being a little kid in Southern California.
Who knows. I suppose that's like some places or people you meet. You never quite know. And it's not like you start out to put them on repeat. It's just when you get to the end of the song... You hit back for one more play. Just like as soon as you leave someone's presence you start to think about them. You start to miss them.
Then others you just don't give them much thought once they are no longer standing in front of you. Or you miss a place that you traveled to as soon as you leave. You immediately want to go back. You don't set out to find places you love. Or people you love. Or songs you love. They sneak up on you. You just want one more listen. And before you know it, it's on repeat.
But I was thinking about every time I've heard this Kyrie song. And every time I've heard other songs. You hear some songs through your whole life. From the first time you hear them, each time, is a slightly different memory. It's like walking around a tall or historical building... from different perspectives it looks slightly different. It's always been there and you've seen it every time you pass it. Each time you look up at that tall building... You just get a different feel. You're in a different place maybe, or it's just a different time of the day.
Or the moon. Or stars. Every time you look up. Maybe you remember a long time ago as a kid star watching and seeing the same night sky. It's different now though.
Having multiple memories of songs makes the song more complex. Each time you hear it you're reminded of a previous memory, but you also make a new one. The song takes on a different meaning, but also has another layer of a previous meaning, a previous time, place, different group of friends. Different time period as well. Maybe a different lover comes to mind.
Some songs are meaningless. The song plays, you feel nothing but perhaps just enjoy the beat, and the song ends. Some songs are super emotionally charged. They remind you of someone or some place or perhaps some event that took place.
Each person has a different memory of a song too. So someone might have a special great memory for one song and feel happy, while someone else might feel sad at that same song. A song could come on and remind that person of a different time in their life. It could remind them of a new memory or an old memory. It could remind them of one memorable or eventful night they were out somewhere. The people they were with. The place they were at. The song that was playing. The smells at that moment. The season they were in.
I know every time I hear that Parent Trap song... Let's get together... Yeah Yeah Yeah... I think of the million times that my mom watched The Parent Trap because it was on some channel or another and she'd sing along and clap. But I know that movie and song reminded her of her parents, and of camp when she was younger.
There are some songs that I've been listening to since I can remember and Kyrie is one of them. Every time I hear it, I sort of think back in my life all the times that I heard it. Rent "Seasons of Love" is like that. That one joined my life in middle school. I still remember writing foolish love letters to this girl I had a crush on while listening to that Original Broadway Cast Recording in late middle school/early high school... this girl Laura. Oh, I had such a crush on her. If I met her now though? Oh gosh. She's NOT my type at all now-a-days. Or who knows, I'm sure she's different now than she was when I knew her. So maybe she is my type. But I have no feelings for her now-a-days. It's funny though, because I was bonkers over her in middle school. Of course she did nothing but make fun of me ALL the time from day one. We had several classes together. I wrote a couple love letters to her one summer, maybe 2 or 3... She never responded to them. I felt embarrassed. Of course then I returned home to find out we had class together. She sat on the opposite side of the class as me. This was maybe, 6th grade I think.
Of course one of her friends a couple years later became pretty good friends with me and told me that she also read those letters because Laura had shown them to all of her friends before tearing them up and her and her friends had read them laughing at me... Etc. etc.
It was like 6 girls all sitting around laughing at the letters reading them out loud in her room. Then she ripped them up and threw them in the trash.
I actually became really close friends with that one girl that said she kind of liked the letters I wrote. I often think about her... Sadly she passed away in 12th grade. I remember me and her IM chatted on AIM for hours the night before. It was really a big shock to come into school the next morning to find out that she passed away in the middle of the night. I was just like... I JUST talked to her last night!
But, music was there... It's always there in the happy times and the best of times... And in the worst of times and the darkest of times. We make memories that remind us of people, of places, of events and times in our lives. And just like in real life, when it comes up on shuffle we can relive that moment even if for a short few minutes. And we always have the option to click back and repeat it, or let something else shuffle to something new. Shuffle, repeat, shuffle, repeat. Old memories, new memories. On shuffle, on repeat.
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