BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

Thinking Thoughts

So here's my question...  Why is it that there are specific people that keep making their way back into your thoughts?  I mean... Some people you just can't forget.  You try NOT to think about them.  But... They are just always on your mind.  I don't know why.

I mean, some people come and go in life.  But others are just there on your mind.  Whether they stay in your life or not.  There's one specific person though that I'm really referring to.

It's kind of ridiculous the amount of times a day this one person crosses my mind.  STILL.

And she's been on my mind NON STOP since 2010 when we first crossed paths on this planet... I've never understood why she's been on my mind so much.  I have all these various theories about it...

[THEORY ONE: COOL NAME]

Maybe she just had a cool name.  She does kind of have a cool name.  The first middle and last... It's very polished.  It's very fun to say, or think.  It just flows in your mind when you say it.  The cadence of reciting it.

[THEORY TWO: ONE IN A MILLION BEAUTY]

Maybe it was just because she was over the top ridiculously absolutely the most gorgeous girl I've ever met.  I mean... Her selfie game is among the best in the world.  Add the fact that she can rock the hair/make up/nails/fashion thing?  It's hard for any guy probably to not stop and take a second or one hundredth look.  I imagine any time she walks into a room/party/restaurant everyone stops and turns heads.  Whoa... Look at her.  That was how I always thought of her whenever I saw her.  Gorgeous.  A bonafide natural beauty.  One of a kind.

[THEORY THREE: SOMETHING IN THE FICTIONAL REALM]

Sometimes I delve into the realm of the paranormal and I think about linked up minds.  Such as the movies In Your Eyes.  Or that Will Ferrell movie where he hears the author in his head.  What's funny is the first time I watched that movie I was hanging out with her.

Let's consider linked up thoughts for a moment.  Just let me run with this for a moment... So maybe something happened when she started reading my social media (and I reading hers) and sending thoughts in my direction (and me in hers) and now it can't be unlinked?

I KNOW... Yeah, that's a little on the batshit crazy side.  But... Who knows?

Let's consider that idea of when you think of someone and then they call.  Or... So she's a religious person and I know that she prays.  Maybe it's because she prayed for me and opened up some spiritual pathway to God and the heavens forgot to turn off that link when we went our separate ways and stopped being in each other's lives?

I mean who knows how that actually works?  If you pray for someone on multiple occasions... Perhaps you open something up.  Or perhaps if you just think about someone over and over and they think about you... A link forms.

Consider old married couples.  Sometimes they appear to read one another's minds.

I've often toyed with the idea of thought positive minds and thought negative minds.  For example, some people broadcast thoughts almost in a way that a bright light shines.  Think about the people at a party that are the life of the party.  After that party is over you think about them still.  You're attracted like a little moth to a light bulb.

Then some people maybe have minds that are ULTRA receptive to the broadcast minds.

Yes, I know... more batshit crazy stuff... Whatever.  You know, at this point... I'm willing to consider any kind of theory.

Let's just say that HER mind is ULTRA bright.  Obviously she's SUPER smart.  I know she's REALLY intelligent.  Ask anyone that knows her.  They will tell you how witty she is.

Well... Perhaps she's got something else going on.  Here's what I know.... She has Native American ancestry.  My friend Jess also had Native American ancestry.  My friend Jess and I sometimes share the same shared thoughts thing too, although not as strong as what I've felt with this other girl.  It has happened so much to us that sometimes we just look at one another and say... What the hell????  That's creepy.  There was one time when we actually gave one another goose bumps.

Perhaps there's unknown Native American ancestry somewhere in my line and maybe people of that lineage can form bonds where their minds are able to share thoughts, so to speak.  Not that you can HEAR the other person... But you can FEEL their vibe.

I mean... this girl that's ALWAYS On my mind, she has a very intense vibe.  When she used to be pleased with something I did, I could feel it.  It was like a million suns shining infinite light on you.  Her love and admiration is so tangible.  Her caring thoughts and compassion is like a flood.

I bet if you asked any of her family, or friends, or coworkers or current or past lovers...

They would tell you about it.  Her feelings and thoughts towards you are so strong, so thick, they are almost tangible.  You feel her emotions inside your own mind.

And when she's angry... Oh she's angry.  She's FURIOUS!  Oh you feel it.  You feel it so hard that your feet tingle and your stomach twists.  Her anger towards you is like a thousand knives cutting deep.

When we were in the thick of me posting these blogs and her reading them.  And me tweeting and her reading it... I could feel her reactions to my posts.  Her thoughts were inside my own thoughts.  I'd never experienced anything like it with anyone else so far on this planet and in my existence.

I've never met someone with such an emotional range and depth of feelings and thoughts that could be almost broadcast into the minds of anyone she encounters.  Or maybe just me, I guess.  I don't really know what other people think or feel about her.  Except one person... her old room mate.  Who claimed some of the same sensations as me.  But maybe me and the roomie are just crazy.  I don't know.  I'm willing to accept that as a possible explanation.

Or perhaps not crazy per say but maybe just imaginative or significantly more sensitive to people.

I mean ok maybe family, or friends, or coworkers or her current or past lovers don't feel it the way I do.  Maybe they don't have the same minds that are able to be receptive to her thoughts...  I don't really know.

And yes, I'm wiling to accept it's all in my head.  But there were times where I could literally feel her reading my blog, and I'd log into the real time google analytics to see her hit on my blog minutes after feeling her reaction to what I'd written.

It was an interesting feeling.  I've never experienced anything like it before she walked into my life.  It was like a heightened sense of awareness.  Every single sense goes on overdrive and becomes acute.  Sounds and colors pop.  Just for that time that her thoughts are directed towards you.  Then when she turns her thoughts to someone else...

It's like withdrawal.  You can almost feel the thoughts leaving yours and swiveling to someone else.  And sometimes that connection would stay for a little while and I could just feel the love that she felt towards sometime else.  The intensity at which she directs her emotions at someone...

I can't describe it really.  Her feelings are so thick, and tangible.  Whether it's love or hate for someone or something.  It's off the charts sometimes.  Like a lighthouse light swiveling around and for a moment you're caught in her lighthouse beam of thoughts...

Or perhaps, maybe the connection is something like... Wifi.  If you're on two different radio frequencies... The device won't connect.  If you have a device meant for 5ghz and the wifi is broadcasting at 2.4 ghz... It won't connect.

But if you have the same frequency.  There's a connection.  The brain actually works on a very low frequency.  And very low frequencies have the ability to travel around the whole planet... HAM radio works using this concept.  The lower the frequency the longer the range.  Whales also use this.

 

Let's just hypothesize that we all become friends/lovers... whatever... Because of similar brainwave frequencies.  Yes, I know again... Batshit crazy.

But... What if?  I mean what if the reason why some people can't stop thinking about one another...

Has some kind of brain wave thought link up thing.  It doesn't happen immediately.  Perhaps it takes a few months... Or maybe a year or two of someone hitting refresh on a social media feed...

Reading a blog a few times a day.  Talking to their friends about the person.  And that person talking to others in return about that person.

And maybe me thinking about her and missing her constantly and wishing I could just be in her presence.

I imagine this is something like how families work.

I swear I still think about her just as much at this VERY moment as I have in years past.

It's weird to THINK about her.  Because it's not so much as I idly just think about her as...

Like that lighthouse thing... Her thoughts blind my thoughts with their intensity.

Lately I've tried to just kind of ignore it because I know that she doesn't want me in her life... and she's moved on in love and her life has led her in a completely different path than mine.

It's like trying to ignore the lyrics of a familiar song playing in the background.  You just kind of want to sing along.  But you try to focus on the conversation with the person before you.  Even though that song is playing in the background and it's all you can think about.

Hmm... I suppose when I put it that way... It makes me think,  maybe she's related to one of the original sirens from greek mythology.

I for one would never be able to resist her in any way shape or form if she ever did contact me.

That mind of hers though.  It just fascinates me.  As much as I try to ignore the song in my mind... It's always there playing in the background on repeat.  The lyrics and music... All too familiar.  Always reminding me that there was a time in the past when we had once shared the same path in life.