BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

At The Stroke Of Midnight

So, I bought my ticket to the wine and jazz festival at Longwood Gardens.  I had to wait until midnight to purchase the ticket in order to wait until my monthly budget closed out from last month.  At a few minutes after midnight...

I pressed the purchase button.  How many tickets would you like?  Just one please.  It's interesting because it defaults to two tickets.  My guess is they automatically assume you've got some special someone to bring along.  And maybe most people going are couples going together.  Oh well.  That's the story of my life.  Everywhere I go everyone is all kind of in love...

Although none of the dating sites seem to be producing anyone that I have any interest in going on more than a handful of dates with.  I don't know, maybe I don't give it long enough?  I mean... Maybe you don't fall in love for months or years.  But what if you STILL haven't fallen in love?  You have two options... You wasted that person's sweet time... All that time while you were trying to make yourself feel something.

Or... You stay with them.  And you get drunk every time you have to make love because making love with them sober just... It's like the same as taking out the garbage or cleaning the cat boxes.  And that's not fair to them.  I wouldn't want a girl to have to get drunk in order to kiss me.

Dating... You know how it is.  It's just... Hard.  It's REALLY hard.  The ones you want are never available or single or they want the person standing next to you.  It's just depressing.  It's either settle, or be settled for.

And I always consider settling.  SOOO many times I've considered it.  And I've dated girls WAY longer than I should have.  And I've also chased girls WAY longer than I should have just because... That's what love does to you.  When you find yourself wanting someone that just has you on a fishing line... That's the worst.

But also when you have a girl that's interested and hanging on your every word... But you don't really like them... That's also the worst.  It's just the worst.

So anyways I'm going to go into this wine and jazz festival expecting only to taste some nice wine enjoy a fine warm June day and listen to some good tunes.  If there's no one there... Then I at least have a story to share for the next time I go on a date.  And if I meet a girl there that has a friend that has a friend that has a friend that's single.  Great.  If not.  Oh well.

So after I bought the ticket I was looking at the site and noticed that they have an orchid show from now until March 27th.  I'm off from work starting Thursday... All the way through till Tuesday.  So since orchids are a flower that girls like... I figure... It's possible that there might be a girl at Longwood that I could possibly meet in passing who was also brought there by the flowers.  And if not... I'll just sit and work on some writing.

I actually have two orchids downstairs that were my moms.  She told me before she went into the hospital in the fall to water them for her so they wouldn't die.  I'm still keeping them going.  So maybe I'll just go in remembrance of my mom since she probably would have liked to have gone to see the orchids at Longwood Gardens.

Shortly after I joined last Summer and told her about the place she kept asking me to take her.  I was like ok... Let's go.  It never happened.

She ended up going into the hospital for the final time about a month and a half after I joined Longwood.

I wish I could have gone there with her.  So she can be there with me in spirit.  Maybe I'll go Thursday or Friday for the day.  I have to check the weather and see which day might work best.

I definitely want to keep going to Longwood Gardens more often.  It's a nice place to just relax and clear my mind from the rest of the stuff I deal with in life.  So if it never produces any sort of romantic relationship... At least I have that as a nice place to go and de-stress.