Mala Mala
Last night I went to see Mala Mala. Mala Mala is a documentary by one of my close family friends, Dan Sickles. Dan worked REALLY hard on this film along with many other people. It was powerful and thought provoking. It really is a documentary about breaking down barriers that exist currently in our world. About progressively making change to bring the world closer to a dream where we are ACTUALLY all equal.
Sadly, and currently, as Mala Mala brings to the viewer's attention this is not the case. We are not all equal at all. But there are some very hard working people trying to change that.
I'm not going to talk so much about the film as how it made me think and feel. The movie comes out November 10th I believe on Netflix (or somewhere around there). So feel free to watch it yourself and have your own unique experience and reaction.
I think I'm going to just reflect on the film a bit and let my fingers do some typing... So... we'll see where this goes...
Let's see.. So, the way that I view the whole concept of someone wanting to change the sex they were born into is about being given a car when you get your drivers license. But that car doesn't fit your personality type. Some people like eco friendly little cars. Some people like vintage cars. Some people like fast cars with big engines. Some people like cars that go off road...
If you're given a car say, that's an eco friendly little city car, but you want a 4 wheel off-road car... You can do one of two things...
Change your views and wants. Convert your desires to match what you've been given. Or you can save up money, sell the car you have and buy the one you want.
I guess it makes sense to most people to keep the intrinsic personal preference and make the external changes.
But it's not always as easy as that. Maybe the car you really want isn't available at the time. Maybe the funds aren't there.
But you work towards what you desire. But life is tough. It's not linear. And there are a million things to go wrong. You could save up for years and finally get what you want only to have someone sideswipe you because they just mistake the brake for the gas... or maybe the sun was in their eyes.
All that hard work... All that time and effort... And now you're left with a clunker again that isn't your dream car.
I feel like this is how it is with making anything creative too. Most content creators, myself included, have the intent of making things for a positive impact. Or maybe we're just inspired and we just kind of let things happen how they do. Like, sometimes it's tough, it just kind of comes out. I just kind of make what I make. Either here on my blog or tweets or the music I make... I don't make things to try and be negative on purpose... I guess sometimes yes it comes out that way. But my goal is to mostly just try and turn maybe bad situations into humor filled ones.
Perception is tough. Like for example if you drive around beeping your horn because you mean for it to be friendly and you want people to wave back. You want to smile and wave at people...
Maybe a few people will understand. Especially if you know the person. If you beep at someone you know an wave they will be like... "HEY!!!!"
But if you beep at someone you don't know... they might be like "Hi?" But they might be like "DA FREAKING HECK YOU WANT?!?!?!?! WHAT ARE YOU BEEPING AT!?!?!?"
It's a tough life and it makes it even harder that we don't automatically go...
They are beeping just to be friendly. They just want to say hello.
I for one have lots of pretty major stuff going on around me... And I'm sure everyone has it hard. Art, creativity, it just makes the bumpy ride a little easier, at least for me it does. As creative types we try to look at things with a different perspective. We try to change and challenge how everyone see's things.
But it's supposed to be a friendly beep of the car horn to try and lift the mood.
Maybe it goes awry... but it's not meant to. At least that's how I think of it. There were a couple things in the movie that I really found interesting...
One was this idea that what you are on the inside doesn't always reflect what's on the outside. And that it's easier to change the outside than to try to change the inside. But by changing the outside... it doesn't fit what is "normal" and acceptable. But who's to say what's "normal and acceptable". Is that such a novel idea that we can't just accept everyone for how they are? I mean ok, so we all want to be perfect and fit in... Which is great in theory, but isn't that why we admire and love people in the first place? Because of their unique qualities? Because they aren't cookie cutter?
Every car on the road is different. And that's what makes the drive interesting.
That's probably what I admire about people the most. When someone has a trait or characteristic that's super unique. I love that. It really grabs me. It makes me go wait a minute. This person... I like this person... I like that interesting or different thing that they do that no one else does.
Another theme in the documentary is about we are all equal... or we should be considered equals. That through history no matter what point in history there's always been some individual or some group of individuals that has been outcast and hated. But what does that solve? How is that constructive? How does the world benefit by casting someone out and being cruel to them?
Isn't that exactly what every church on the planet is trying to fix? To include everyone? To accept them as they are. To work for tolerance?
I feel like we're all just really unfair to each other...
If you're driving a V8 sports car and you just want to slam on the gas and zoom up the onramp to the highway because you're just trying to get to a party somewhere, or you bet your other sports car friend a cool grand you can get there first because you both have massive amounts of cash to burn... and the person in front of you getting on the highway is driving an old 4 cylinder clunker... They just want to get to work. Because they have kids at home to feed.
There's no easy solution to that. You as the sports car better are going to get mad at the person in front of you that prays every night before bed that they have enough money just to make rent and buy groceries.
I mean, everyone has things about themselves that they wish they could change... and maybe they work to change that... But everyone has things about themselves that they can't change too.
I mean a lot of where we are in the world can be things beyond our control. Yes... we can try and change things... but sometimes even if you try every door... sometimes they are all locked.
Here's what I often consider...
Two people have five rooms to get through... All five rooms are connected by two doors. Both of those two doors lead to the same next room in line. One door is locked and one is unlocked.
We'll use a point system to see who gets the lowest points. The lowest points will be considered "the winner". Each door try counts as a point.
So... The first person goes in and tries the left door. It opens. They move to the next room. Then they try the left door again, it's locked. So they have to choose the right. That's two points. This keeps going until they moved to the final room.
Let's just say that their total point tally was the following
1) First try
2) Second try
3) First try
4) First try
5) First try
Look at that "skill"! The person got only ONE door wrong. They made it through in 6 points.
Now the second person goes through and let's say it's reversed.
1) Second try
2) First try
3) Second try
4) Second try
5) Second try
Wow. They really "stink" at choosing doors. They got 9 points. They lose.
Everyone praises the first person. Look at how awesome they are doing...
Really... that whole game is just dumb luck. No one knows which door to try.
And let's make it even more complicated and say that the doors are always switching. Maybe in number 3 if you try the left door you go back to 1. Then you know.... Ok, if I try the left door... on 3 again I'll go back to 1 so I'll try the right door.
But now it's reversed.
Life is crazy like that. People can "think" they are on the right path... but it leads them back tracking.
But everyone kind of looks at life like the person that makes it furthest through the door maze the fastest is doing the best...
I don't think that's a good way to look at it. I think everyone can only be compared to themselves. There are so many twists and turns. No one can really make a truly correct and informed decision. You just go with the best you can. And even two people that both make the same decision...
One could lead them up in the world and the other can take them back.
Here's a real life example...
I was recently doing stock research and one of the CEO's that I read about... She worked for the accounting firm that was responsible for Enron's books being cooked. She worked hard. She started at the bottom and stuck with that firm. She kept choosing the right doors. But then...
She got caught up in the Enron scandal and collapse and had to start all over again... she lost most of her personal wealth. She lost reputation.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynn_Good
Good became an auditor at the Cleveland branch of Arthur Andersen & Co. while at Andersen Good "broke the barrier to females playing major roles in auditing when she participated in the audit of Andersen's most prestigious account, Cincinnati Gas & Electric. Good rose to supervise that audit, and in 1992 she became one of Andersen's few women partners. She was also a partner for a time at Deloitte.
But then... not because she made a bad decision... not because she knowingly opened the "wrong" door. She opened the wrong door thinking all was well...
The US Justice Department indicted Arthur Andersen for its role in the collapse of Enron in 2002. As a result almost all of Good's savings were lost. In 2003 Good joined Andersen's old audit client, now called Cinergy, for half the salary she took at Andersen.
But she kept opening more doors... right or wrong ones... sure... but she also got lucky too after getting unlucky... The company she worked for Cinergy could have one out of business. They could have gone bankrupt. Or they could have just stayed the course slow and steady... Instead they were bought by Duke Energy. That had NOTHING to do with her skill. That was just a door that opened. But now it was up to her to keep opening more doors and move up in the company.
In 2006 Duke Energy purchased Cinergy, and Good went on to head the unregulated commercial business. Good was named Duke's executive vice president and chief financial officer as of July 2009. She began to make large investments in renewable energy such as wind and solar facilities that sell their power to utilities and towns.
Now she's the CEO.
I think that's the key here is to keep opening doors. But keep in mind that one person could open a thousand doors that could ALL be the wrong ones...
and another can open just one door that could lead to the right one.
It's just not fair to compare or judge anyone. We're all trying. And that's what counts.
Hmmm I think a lot. I'm fairly overreactive and emotional. But it's also where a lot of my creativity comes from and maybe I create some things that go wrong, but I also create stuff that people like.
We are all different. This is fundamentally very problematic... but it's also the source of many great things.
I can't choose when things break. Or go wrong. I can't choose how I act...
I mean, for example on my way home tonight I shared the road with many motorists. I stopped at the store and shared a line with other people. None of us chose to end up at that very spot in line before or after one another, and none of us chose to end up on the road with each other... But we did... and the experience was all about how we acted towards one another.
When I was getting on the highway I slowed to let someone in as the lane merged. I could have just kept going. I could have maybe gotten mad at them or honked at them. I could have said well it's their fault for not going fast enough to zoom ahead of me. I could have... But instead... I just tapped my breaks and let them get over.
And a short while later when construction closed some lanes and we had reverse where we were on the road... they returned the favor.
Tables are always turning. If I had sat there and honked at them and told them how much they sucked and run them off the road...
How do you think they would have acted later on when they were the one to let me over?
I don't know. I guess... sometimes... and as I was watching the movie too... Just thinking...
I feel like none of us are intentionally being mean to one another. It's just complicated with history. It's complicated with all of us having this perception that each other has done something to one another and then this need to return it back.
We all just hurt each other by mistake maybe... but instead of letting each other correct things and get over to the right lane, we are quick to honk. Quick to zoom ahead on the road of life... but then down the road... We're back sharing lanes again and maybe the roles have changed.
I wish we could really achieve that ideal that we are all equal... we're all just trying to use the same roads to get places... I know sometimes I make a mistake when driving... and I don't mean to upset the other people on the road, and I know they make mistakes too.
Soooo... life is long. The road twists and turns. We all start out with different cars... some of us are handed brand new expensive cars that run flawlessly, some of us are handed ones that need a lot of work. But we all share the same road. Eventually we all run into the same potholes, or construction sites no matter what cars we're driving. And someone might need to get over on mile marker 10, and then at mile marker 20 the person that was sitting pretty might suddenly need to get over.
This post, like most of my posts has been a bit meandering. But my point... just like the point of the documentary is...
We're all different but we're still equal. Everyone doesn't have their own road to drive their own car on. We share common space. We share this planet. Each one of us drives a slightly different car, and we drive it a slightly different way. But when I get in my car to drive I don't just go out there trying to bump or crash into other people... I'm just trying to get from point A to point B the same as anyone else. I just want to be able to do that... just as anyone else.
Accidents are going to happen. Weather will get bad. People make wrong turns. Some people drive cars with advanced features to help warn them and stop suddenly. Some people drive old cars that don't have those advantages.
I've rambled on here. Sorry... anyways... Yeah. So check out the movie... keep an open mind. And just... drive the best you can in life. And take what comes your way...
Dan didn't actually set out to make Mala Mala... they were out one night in Austin, Texas and just happened upon a drag show while at a bar. It all took off from there.
A lot of life is just... getting hit with things. Two doors... and you just happen to stumble into the right one.
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