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Easter blog part 2, a weird feeling

Soooooo it's 6:46pm and i'm still home.  I'm supposed to be at the Easter service at church that started at 6pm.  But something weird just happened.

Ok so for the most part I've gone to church every Sunday this year.  I missed one because I was being stupid and foolish.  The first few of the year were at another church and I've tried out even the church down street and then went back to my old church.  I've been going to the usual 5pm service no problem.  Today they changed the service to 6pm.  Still not a problem... but at about 5:30pm when I was getting ready to go I got a really weird feeling.  Like my feet became heavy and my stomach a little sick.

So I ate something.  I then laid down another 5 minutes after eating something.  The feeling got worse.

At 5:40 I was like ok I'll just go to church and come home.  It's the Easter sunday service!  I have to go!  I looked at the clock now and it was 5:45pm.

I gathered up my stuff, put my shoes on and headed for the door.

I couldn't open my door.  I just felt weird and sick and frozen with fear.  Like I just couldn't go.

I don't get it!  I've never had a bad experience going and there is no reason why I could be afraid at ALL to go!

But I just couldn't.

I put my stuff down and sat on my couch for another 5 minutes.  Then I got up and tried again.

I just stood there looking at the door handle not able to open the door.

I went and kicked off my shoes and laid on my bed.

My mind was racing and I started to feel like almost panicked.

I looked at the clock at 6 and just thought ok this is soooo RIDICULOUS!

It's CHURCH!  Nothing bad can happen there's no reason for this!  I've been going to the evening service for a while now and it's always good!  I sit with friends and I chat with them after.

 

WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY!??!?!

 

I put on my shoes  and notice that my hands are shaking as I'm trying to lace up my shoes.

 

What the heck is going on!?!?!?!

I grab my backpack and eventually just get to the door.  I force myself to open the door and then about halfway down the hallway of my apartment to the car I just feel a presence that...

basically... it didn't "talk" so much as the words hit me like a freight train of force...

but the feeling or words or whatever was pretty commanding and pretty hardcore...

It was just...

"TURN AROUND RIGHT NOW."

I stopped and couldn't take another step.  I just felt this force pushing me back.

I turned around and came back into my apartment and just laid on my couch.

Eventually it passed.  Now I feel fine.

No sick feeling... no fear... nothing.  It's gone.

So basically I missed probably THE MOST important church service to attend of the year and I have no idea why I couldn't go.