RPX Like A Boss
I'm pretty excited for tomorrow night. My friend Melody and I are doing my favorite night out dinner and a movie friend date (we're just friends so don't even ask, and yes a guy and a girl can go out on a date as just friends).
It seems like all the girls on dating sites these days are all about some over the top super ritzy date. They want to go downtown... Fight horrendous amounts of traffic. Go to some over the top center city restaurant. Park in some over the top obnoxiously expensive garage. Honestly? I hate that stuff. I really do. I hate getting dressed up. I hate going somewhere fancy (especially downtown center city). This is probably why I'm single, because all the other guys are willing to do that stuff. Oh well. Those guys can have those girls.
Enter, Melody. We've been friends for years. She rocks. Screw dating... I've pretty much given up with online dating at this point. And dating in general. I'll just be single and go on friend dates. It's a lot less pressure anyways because... Obviously it's not even REALLY a date. It's just two friends going to dinner and a movie. If a girl comes along that actually clicks one day? Great. For now...
I'm just going to do things that aren't stressful... Because dating is too stressful. I really hate it. I never feel comfortable with any of the girls I go on dates with.
Ok so... Backstory is... Melody and I went to see the Martian together in the fall because her original friend date person had to bail. So she called me. I said ok sure. Then there was an issue during the movie... So we got comp tickets.
We've had the comp tickets ever since. Well we were going to go see the Batman V. Superman movie. It was playing in RPX all this week. Apparently they changed it and.... The Boss is playing. I was like what's that? Then I saw Melissa McCarthy was in it... I was like who the heck cares what it's even about. Melissa McCarthy is in it! So... We're going to see that. It's a comedy.
So movie part is settled. That's actually part B. Part A of the night is Bahama Breeze. It's in the same parking lot. So we'll go over to Bahama Breeze first... maybe around 8 or so... We're going to catch the later showing of the movie just because trying to get to the 7:50 movie is impossible since she gets off work at 4 and I'm off at 5. I have to come home first and feed the cats and what not anyways.
So we're seeing the 10:30 one. I feel like it will be good. I'm not even going to watch the trailer or see what it's about. I'm just going to let it be a surprise.... No one ruin it for me! Ok... SO... We'll hang out at Bahama Breeze for like two hours or so, grab some dinner and a couple fruity island drinks. Then we'll go over and see the movie.
Seriously... Ladies on dating sites... I don't understand why that can't be enough to please a gal. Maybe I'm just talking to the wrong girls or something. I mean don't get me wrong.... A fancy downtown dinner on an anniversary or a birthday? Ok. Sure. But the last girl I was talking to wanted to meet for a first date at a place of her choosing and when I Googled it... It was like 50 bucks a plate! Not including drinks. And then there's tip obviously. And reservations required. Etc. etc.
For a first date? I mean... Again.... if we were seriously together for a while and celebrating a 6 month or 1 year anniversary or her birthday or something? Ok. But for a first date?
When I asked her if coffee would be an acceptable first meeting choice to see if we even had chemistry she stopped responding all together.
Anyways, like I said... I'm pretty over it. The whole dating thing. I mean... Even my own boss said he basically never takes his wife of like 30 years out on a date. He's like... "I think we went for Chinese food like once in the last year."
So yeah... I'm excited to have a fine fruity Bahama Breeze drink or two and some of their delicious food... and then pop over to see the movie and sit back and relax and enjoy a nice comedy on the big screen. So here's a toast to many more friend dates in the future with all of my awesome friends... and no more bad online dating site dates.
Sigh. Dating. Blah. No more. I just can't do it anymore. I'm just going to be single and mingle.
Ladies From My Past
So... I'm always thinking about people from my past. I often wonder where they are and what they are up to. I think it's just a me thing... Most people are all Frozen about their past... talking about letting it go and the past is in the past.
I'm kind of the opposite. I like to reflect and ponder about it all.
Well anyways, I've decided that one of my missions in life is going to be to locate those two mystery girls from my summer camp social era of my life.
Girl number one: I don't even know her name. All I know is that we practiced dancing the Jitterbug dance for hours upon hours and then it never happened. She went to Camp Tapawingo which is also where my sister went. But my sister was no longer a camper there when I met this girl. So my sister wouldn't know her. I was maybe 12 ish when we met.
Girl number two: She went to Mataponi and her name was Amanda. We shared a first kiss at a social to the very tail end of the song Stairway to Heaven. So around 14 ish when we met.
So few details. Obviously both girls are probably married with kids by this point. And I don't actually plan to actively search for them in any way. Here's what I want to happen....
I want to be at some classy dress up function 5 years from now, or 10 years from now... And I'm chatting with a glass of wine in my hand at this art museum, or museum of natural history fundraiser event in NYC...
Then I'll be talking with a group of two or three people and one of the ladies in the group will casually mention how that reminds her of summer camp. And I'll say "Oh my god, you went to summer camp? So did I! Where'd you go?"
And she'll say "I went to either Tapawingo or Mataponi"
and I'll say... to the Tapawingo one... "Oh gosh, I remember I spent one whole night at this camp social practicing the Jitterbug song dance and they never..."
And she'll say "SHUT UP! SHUT UP. THAT WAS ME!"
and I'll say "SHUT UP! HOLY CRAP!"
Then she'll request the DJ to play the Jitterbug song and we'll spend the rest of the night practicing a dance and the DJ will never play it.
Or... Mataponi girl... "Oh I went to Mataponi."
"Oh... Haha I had my first kiss to Stairway to Heaven with this girl named Amanda..."
"SHUT UP! KENNY!!!! IT'S ME!!! AMANDA!"
"OH MY GOD! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HAPPENING! THIS IS SO CRAZY!"
and then she'll go.... "WOW... I can't believe this."
and I'll casually ask... "So are you as good of a kisser now as you were then?"
She'll say, "You'll have to find out." And wink.
And I'll say "Wait... Aren't you married?"
And she'll say... "Only when I'm sober."
"Oh really?" I say, and we'll walk away chatting. Entertained by the curious question of what a second kiss 25 or 30 years after the first one feels like. But then her husband will call on her cell phone and she'll answer it.
"I'm sorry, I have to... I have to take this."
"It's quite alright. It was nice seeing you again. See you in another 30 years."
And then we'll just wave to each other as she walks away to talk to her husband on the other end of the phone call... and that will be that. I'll go talk to some new person at the party/event thing.
Yard Work
I was doing some yard work today. Nothing major. Just a little trim here and a little rake there. Laying down some grass seed and what not in some patches where grass has died.
And I'm thinking about the other people that all live in this neighborhood. Mostly married people. By mostly I mean they are all married people.
I'm thinking... Well I guess at one point they were single people. They were roaming the planet and eventually the bumped into one another. Maybe at a bar. Maybe mutual friends. Maybe they went to school together.
And before they were married they were dating or boyfriend and girlfriend. And then my mind wondered to all the people that I have known that were boyfriend and girlfriend that didn't end up married. They ended up breaking up. And I was just thinking about how I guess you can never tell the future, even sure bets can end up going completely wrong.
Like in college I had this one friend from the dorms and the girl that was MY girlfriend at the time... Who is now actually married to some other completely different guy.... Well anyways that dorm friend of mine and my girlfriend at the time's was with a guy she knew since highschool or even middle school. They were TOTALLY in love. She was TOTALLY sure he would propose to her any moment. Everyone was TOTALLY sure they were going to spend the rest of their lives together as the perfect couple.
Well years later... He got into online gambling. He lied to her about it and did it in secret late at night. He lost 10s of thousands of dollars in it and got majorly in debt. So... Where are they now? They don't talk to each other. She couldn't trust him. They broke up the engagement that had happened after college... Etc. etc.
It's just weird because in my mind when two people are boyfriend/girlfriend I basically assume they are already married. To me... Them breaking up is a weird idea. Like because if you were going to break up because you weren't compatible... Why would you spend 2 or 3 years together... Or 6 or 10 years together? I mean... If you KNEW it wasn't going to work after like a month.... Shouldn't that be when you break up?
I feel as though a lot of people don't.
Obviously I'm no relationship expert... but ok so I go out a lot and I socialize with lots of different circles and scenes... and I find it interesting when someone that I know has a significant other and has been with that person for some time turns to me and points across the bar saying that they really find someone attractive. It's just weird.
To me... as soon as you're in a relationship... You shouldn't find other people attractive. If you do... I feel like that's a sign that you aren't with the right person.
Maybe I'm wrong.
So I just think a lot about these things when I'm doing yard work. I just listen my iTunes U courses... and let my mind wander.
But I guess people don't always stay together till their dying day. I guess there's a possibility that let's say I do one day say I do... She could, theoretically, be happily in love with some other guy right this moment. But through a series of events... Maybe they break up...
I mean... Any number of things could happen. And then... She's suddenly single again. I don't know.... It's possible that the love of my life is married to some other guy right now... Then 6 months from now he dies in a car accident... I know that's terrible, but you never know! Then she's out with some of her girlfriends one night and suddenly we're introduced and then me and her hit it off...
Life is like that. I suppose that's why I shouldn't put too much stock in finding the "love of my life". I mean heck... I could find her, marry her, and then 2 or 3 years later... She's on her way home from work one snowy night and... I get a phone call.
That's my worst fear is spending ALL this time trying to find love... only to have it ripped away from me.
That's why lately I've kind of been toying with the idea that I should just date a girl that isn't my type at all. One that I don't even have any feelings for what so ever. Because that way if I lose her... It's not really a big loss. Because I'm not emotionally vested. I'm not like... "She's SO awesome! She blows my mind and she's ALL I think about ALL the time."
Been there, done that... look where it got me? Chase chase chase chase... Never good enough for her. And now she's all gaga over some mr right right about now. So that's why you shouldn't ACTUALLY fall for people, or have feelings for them... Odds are.. they won't even stay in your life anyways.
So instead... Just date someone and be in a relationship with a girl that I don't really care much for at all. That way... when it possibly does go south, I could care less. Or if I suddenly lose her some how some way.... Oh well. Then I go date someone new that I don't much care about.
This all sounds horrible. Maybe I'm just jaded or something. Or maybe I'm just tired of getting burned when I actually do like a girl and then it doesn't work out. And then I see all these other people that are like "Well I found the love of my life at--"
"Shut up. I don't care where you found the love of your life. I've tried it all. Where you found the love of your life isn't where I'm going to find the love of my life because I'm not you. SO just shut up with your advice about where and how I'm supposed to find love."
So anyways I don't know any more. I pretty much go out almost every single day/night socializing and doing things. Most of the people I talk to are already in relationships or married. I have to wonder where single people actually hang out. Or maybe they never leave their houses? Or apartments.
Or maybe the girls that I do talk to when I'm out actually are single but they are lying to me because they don't want to get hit on. Apparently this is a thing.
Or maybe I'm one of the few people that just actually is single until I meet someone? Maybe people never stay single until they meet that one. Maybe instead they just date people they could care less about and always have someone that is their significant other and then as soon as they do meet that super special person they just ditch whoever they are with. That's awful to me... But who am I to judge.
I guess we all have crappy umbrellas until we eventually buy a really nice one. No one is just going to walk around in the rain without any sort of umbrella until you find that one umbrella that really works for you. Hell, you'll even use a trash bag over your head if you have to.
So I guess I'm probably dating wrong. Maybe I need to go find myself a trash bag over my head until I finally find that really classy umbrella that really does it for me.
Well anyways... After I did my yard work I went to go see some comedy and music and drink a beer and eat some pizza at The Pickering Creek Inn. I got a pizza and then gave away the slices that I didn't eat. I made some new friends. Giving away pizza in a bar when the kitchen is closed... is the best way to make new friends. One of the comedy guys had this one joke that went like... Hammocks... They're like relationships... easy to get into hard to get out of without hurting yourself or someone else.
Maybe that's how people end up married and living in the suburbs? They just didn't want to go through the pain of breaking up. So they just stayed together all the way through until they got married and moved to the suburbs and bought a house together.
No one really cares about waiting for that nice umbrella. They just all are using trash bags to keep the rain away. I guess that's possible. Hey, I guess if it works right?
Maybe I just think too much while I'm doing yard work.