Look at me, I’ve got a degree, and I’m probably grown up (you don’t have a degree yet! Shhh, no one has to know that.)
At least I think, I’m not sure cuz I woke up hung over naked on the beach at the shore (I love the shore!)

But somehow I got a job at a bank, with some guys, we fly around in jets and pretend to collect checks (cha ching)
But we’re not really sure how we actually make money (but who cares cuz)

 I’ve got a luxury car, it goes far, and I don’t have to put the gas in the tank
Down at the bar, they all drink PBR, but not me cuz I’m in the upper tax rate (so I’d like something really expensive thanks)

All was great till we made a mistake and forgot about this thing called accounting (whoops)
Then one day some dude in a suit said the company debt was mounting

I said WHOA! are you sure?, he said he was pretty sure and we probably should sell everything even the doors
Now hold on a second, we can just get one of those bailouts! (Hello  government? Yes we’d like to place an order for a bailout, to go, please… thanks)

We can keep our luxury cars, yea they go far, we just have to put gas in the tank
Down at the bar, I might drink little PBR, but I’m still in that upper tax rate (that’s right, I’m rich, you’re not)

There’s people coming to collect, and they say that they work for the government
They look angry, really mad, Cuz we spent all their money and mailed the rest out in cash to our friends to keep them quiet about the Mercedes Benz

 [VERSE 3]
Well I Had lots of cash, till the market crashed, so now I’m moving back with mom and dad (Mom: Honey your home! Dad: We even kept all your stuffed animals son!)
But what do you do when you’re bored? And 34 wondering around in a pet store

You get a turtle named ted and feed him some bread and thank him for being your friend, cuz
In the end it’s not about how much money you made, following the trend
 (buy sell, buy sell)(NOOOOO!)

Now I drive a regular car, it goes far, and guess what it even takes the same gas in the tank!
Down at the bar or wherever you are, (raise that glass) here’s to being happy
Driving regular cars, that go just as far
Down at the bar, or wherever you are

Hey! Hey! Hey! here’s to being happy
Hey! Hey! Hey! here’s to being happy
One more time, here’s to being happy
Without money in the bank

(I’ll toast to that)