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Weekly Things

So, I've decided that I like it best when I have things to do in the evening.  I don't mind a night or two home to do things around the house.

Sometimes I have to catch up with the cats and cleaning and yard work.  But I like going out to events and things.

So, my plan is to try and have things to do most nights.

Running club is fun.  I like open mic, I haven't played yet but I plan to play next week or the week after.  There's Science After Hours once a month.  I have the Kesha concert next month.

I think what I've realized is that while it would be great to be in that crowd of people who have found someone and settled down and what have you... "beyond the party scene".  You can't make it happen.  You can't will it into happening.

But the problem also has been because I want that and I'm NOT getting it... I then get frustrated, and it came out in Facebook and then everyone who knew me was like... "Well I'm not going to be friends with that guy".

And then I don't have love OR friends.

Since you can't make love happen or predict it, it happens when it happens... Might as well make friends.  Unlike finding love, friends are generally easy to find.  As long as you go to a regular group or event or meeting or organization... Anything that creates a place for people to gather...

You can make at least one friend, because conversation is almost impossible to avoid.  It happens no matter what really.

Sometimes it starts by just actually physically bumping into someone.

If you keep seeing them, you can't help but talk.  It might start with accidentally opening the door and then accidentally kind of bumping them with the door and then you apologize.

Then they say, no no, it's okay.

And then you kind of keep talking.  Or even if you stop talking.  The next week, you have that memory of that's the person that you accidentally opened the door on.

It's kind of just there.

It's a little like at camp how I tried to avoid everything and just go to bed only to find...

I had no bed.

And then the girl I had the crush on apologized to me on behalf of what happened...

So even though I was trying to avoid even talking to her...

Sometimes, it's unavoidable.

Sometimes you can't control it even if you try to avoid it all.

Life is like that.

I feel like that's how love will happening eventually, no matter how much I try to make it happen with someone, it will always go wrong if that's how it's supposed to go.

On the flip side no matter how much you try to avoid it... It will just end up so that things keep on happening that to keep you talking and keep you together.

For example again, the camp crush... I thought she was super cool and liked her a lot... Found out she was totally into someone else...

Tried to avoid her, still ended up talking to her more...

But now that I'm out of camp, the talking has ended.  So lucky for me, those rush of crush feelings are subsiding now.


Took a while longer than I thought it would but I'm definitely feeling less of what I felt back at camp.

Which is good.

Because who wants to be into someone who isn't into them?

No one.

Obvoiusly though the point is if in some universe I was SUPPOSED to keep talking to her... I'd be talking to her right now.

I'm not.

So... I'm not supposed to be.

That's the point I'm trying to make.

Things happen when they happen and no matter how much you try to make it happen or not happen...

You can't control it.

But what you can control is the part where you just don't sweat it... Because no one else likes that.

So, basically... My plan is to not worry about love or any of that stuff and just to keep busy, make friends, and keep going to events most nights of the week.

Just have fun, and enjoy.

I'm single, I live alone, and I have no big time responsibilities besides the cats and the house.

Might as well just enjoy my 30s and have some fun and have cool things to do in the evenings.

And when things happening, they happen, and nothing I can do to avoid it will matter because love will find a way like it or not.

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