BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

Cutting Losses

So, I think I've decided to just kind of cut losses with anyone who has known me prior to now.

Here's the thing, when you first meet someone who you have no previous history with on this planet... You get a clean slate.

It's awesome.

You don't know each other, so they have no reason to really be for or against you.

It's just like... "Oh, hey what's up!"

New people!  Yay.

Obviously the problem with people you've known is that if you went through a not great part of life or whatever, or even if they just decided hey we don't like you... Trying to fix that?

Good luck.

I kind of feel as though it's not worth the work to try and win people over or convince them to like me back or again if they liked me before but changed their mind.

It's just so much easier to consider it a loss.

Here's the thing... There's BILLIONS of people on this planet!  There's SOOO many people that everyone will never even meet and never even know before their time is up here...

Why waste that on trying to fix and make good with some small group of a couple hundred or a couple dozen people.

It's just not worth it, to me at least...

So, like for example, people in running club and at camp have decided not to like me because of my Facebook statuses...

And some people have unfriended me.

Now, here's what I've decided... I'm basically not going to post very much and I'll kind of filter the content I post to make my life look like a non-stop rockstar party and like I'm super happy-go-lucky all the time.

It's a bit like selling yourself as a product.  No one wants to see flaws or anything wrong.  They want to see... "YAY!!!  I LOVE LIFE!  HAPPY HAPPPY JOY JOY!!!"

So... I'll sell that.  Hey, why not?

Actually who ever got anything constructive out of being negative ever?  No one wants to be friends with negative people.  No one wants to buy your social media product if you aren't happy.

So... I'll sell that.

Now, who am I selling it to?  People of my past are considered a loss.  I'm not going to waste time trying to win a customer back that didn't like my stuff previously.  I'm not going to go through all that time and effort to convince someone "oh look, things are new and improved!"

No one ever forgets the past.

It's just how it is.

So, I mean hey, if someone comes around on their own... I'm okay with that.  If someone changes their mind and sends me a friend request?

I'd accept it.

I don't have a problem with that.

I'm just saying, I'm not really going to consider that will ever happen.  And with soooo many new people I've never met before to friend request and have it be a positive experience?

I just think that's a better way to go.

So, camp and running club are just like... Hey, I may be still associated with these things... But I'm not going to expect any new Facebook friend requests coming my way from these social circles.

Maintain the ones that have stuck, and just sort of mind the people who are there but decided to unfriend me.

I'm not going to try and change their mind.

I'll focus on new people if they show up in these social circles, and if not, again, it's a loss.

Right now I'm looking for new social circles and places to find more friends and new friends.

That's my goal... I've rebranded my Facebook and the statuses will be 100 percent happy frappy and friend worthy.

Just have to find customers now.  Now that I have the product up and running... Just have to find people to friend.

I'm considering becoming a member of Science After Hours just because I know there's people who go to that over and over again, so that might be a good place to try and run into familiar faces and make a new friend.

I found a new open mic I like.  So I'll be a regular at that.

I want to maybe join a book club, and run some 5K races... I KNOW that the same people run lots of 5K races because one of my friends does a lot of them and she said she sees a lot of the same people over and over again.

It's about seeing people over and over again and then just starting a conversation with them and then eventually dropping that... "You want to friend up on Facebook?" line.

They might say no... But, that's why you keep looking for more people.

Right now my goal is just to find that next friend request acceptance.

So, I just keep going out to events and things and just keep talking to new people.

It's all about new people... And maybe after a few minutes the person kind of is like... Well it was good chatting.

Hey, that's a bad lead then.  Move on to the next.  That person is now in your past.  SOOO many new people out there to meet.

I would guess I've only met maybe 50 to 100 thousand people in my entire life that I've ACTUALLY had a conversation with.

Remember there are BILLIONS of people on this planet!  Why am I going to waste time trying to convince people I knew to be friends with me again?

The cost to reward is just too low.  You put 10 times the effort into something that might never be when you can just start a new casual conversation with someone and be way more likely to get that friend request and be like... Yo this guy is cool... Kind of deal.

Because we have no history and no reason for the person to hate.

Cut the losses... Find new people.  That's what I say.  Because there's ALWAYS going to be new people.

You don't think there will be, but there is.  There's always new people that come into your life.  And hey, maybe that's why some people leave your life... To make room for new friendships.

After all, I'm pretty sure there is actually a limit to the number of Facebook friends that someone can have.  It's like 5 thousand or something.  So, if I didn't have people unfriend me and if I were actually friends on Facebook with everyone I had known from schooling, working, life, organizations, clubs, etc etc... I'd definitely be getting pretty close to that limit for sure by now.

But for now my goal is to get my friends list back up to 500.  I'm still at 444, so really my first goal was to get people to stop un-friending me.  I think that's been successful.  So now my next goal is to do the friend thing.

But with new circles... Because the old ones are pretty much considered a loss at this point.  Cut the losses and move on to a new town.  It's not worth trying to fix old stuff, they only remember how you used to be, new people can't remember how you used to be because they didn't know you back then, they only know the new and improved awesome you.