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Backseat Passenger Seat Driver’s Seat

This post is going to get a little weird.  Most of my posts are weird, so that's not much out of the norm.  But today was definitely strange.

Now, I know, we all perceive things from our own view in life.  And our mind has ways of playing tricks on us to make us see things that are there, or see patterns where there are not patterns... But, in my own view, the following is just what I've perceived to have observed.

So... As we know, there's this girl, Kara... Miss Daylight... A girl that, for whatever reason, has taken up lots of time in my brain.

Well... There's also this guy, Eddie.  He and my mom went to highschool together, they went to grade school together... They basically were born in the same crib together.

So, Eddie's son Dan... is a kid I used to babysit.  Basically Eddie and his family and our family have been intertwined in life since I was a little kid.

Well, in 2009/2010 Kara entered my life path.  Previously our lives had not been intertwined... ANNNND then... I met her.

Now, Eddie was a super busy guy... Giving himself to the world and basically being everywhere and all over helping so many people, being a positive light in so many lives.  Because of this he would kind of pop into my life every so often, but the be super busy again and I wouldn't hear from him or see him for many months or what have you.

I'm trying to convey what I've experienced in words... Which is not easy, but, I'm sort of trying to figure out the best way to put it.

In 2010 basically I dated Kara for a very little sliver of time... During that time we dated she referred to dating me as kind of like dating Michael Cera... I'll come back to this.

So, basically Kara and I entered each other's lives... Then... For all intents and purposes we had these periods of time where we wouldn't talk.  And then we would.  And then we wouldn't.  And then we would...

Here's what's weird... So, with all that quick backstory... Right before Kara Daylight and I would start talking again... Eddie would contact me.

Never failed.  Always.  If I got a phone call from Eddie... I knew Kara was going to start talking to me again.

And this is going to get EXTRA weird here... But while Kara and I were actually dating, she sent me a photo via email of her and her dad and mom and sister on a beach from when she was young.  It's probably still somewhere in my email archive.  But the thing I noticed was that her dad and Eddie... Looked a lot alike.

I told you this was going to be weird.  It's true though.  Eddie and her dad just had a similar look about them.  If you compared photos of both of them at the same ages... They definitely looked a quite similar to one another.

Anyways... so each time Eddie would say hello... Kara would say hello.

Then in 2013... Kara and I stopped talking.  Shortly there after, Eddie passed.  Kara and I haven't really talked since.  We talked a little bit once more but that was kind of it...

So, I'm at this movie today that Dan, Eddie's son, directed.  And a music video was made for the movie... Michael Cera made the music for the music video.  I find it weird that Kara had said dating me felt like dating Michael Cera and here's a connection to Eddie through his son's movie, where Michael Cera made a song and music video for the movie.

I don't know...

The whole movie came about because the main star of the movie was one of Eddie's students and Dan and her were friends and remained friends after Eddie passed.  There's a lot more to it than that... I mean... But the movie came kind of out of an idea when Eddie passed.

But it was just something weird that has always boggled my mind... Why were experiences with Eddie, our longtime family friend, usually intertwined with experiences involving Kara?

There's a lot more that happened, but basically that's the gist of it.

Now that all backstory is there...

Today was definitely extra weird though because today I drove Eddie's car.  See when Eddie passed he left the car to Dan and Dan drives it, but today Dan had a dizzy spell and so I drove his car for him back to his Aunt and Uncle's house so he could get checked out.

The last time I was at their house was Eddie's funeral.

And the time before that it was for a Thanksgiving dinner because my mom was in the hospital and Eddie invited me to have dinner there.

But the last time I rode in his car, the car that I was driving today, I rode in the backseat to take my mom down to the hospital, and then rode the passenger seat while he drove and was talking to him about Kara.

So I guess it's just been a strange day.

One of the things I think about often though is that in the summer of 2013, Kara and I were talking....

Then my sister came up to visit and we had a small scuffle, and that's kind of when Kara and I stopped talking.

Shortly after that I decided not to go to my sister's wedding because I kind of blamed her for the reason why Kara and I weren't talking to one another.

I was supposed share a hotel room with Eddie.

The morning of my sister's wedding, Eddie woke up with stroke symptoms.  He went to my mom's room and her friend's room and they called 911.

If I had been in the room with him when he had the first symptom and called 911 maybe even 5 minutes earlier... Would he still be alive today?

I guess I wonder that.

But if Eddie were still alive, would my mom still be alive?  When he passed, she got really sad, and maybe her health declined faster because he was gone.

Like I said, this post probably won't make any sense to anyone but me... And it's all about how we perceive the world.  And maybe things aren't there that I THINK are there.

Same car, different seats.

Maybe it's a weird mystery.  Maybe it's meant to teach me something.  I'm not sure really.  But what I know is that there was definitely some kind of connection between Eddie and Kara... And that communication with both ended that summer in 2013 when Kara and I stopped talking and shortly after Eddie passed.

Maybe it's all connected, maybe it's not.

But it was definitely weird to be driving Eddie's car today when the last time I had been in the car I was in the passenger seat talking to him about Miss Daylight.  Maybe I was supposed to be there to help Eddie in that hotel room that day in 2013... Or maybe I was supposed to be there today to help Dan instead.

Maybe I just think about things too much.

Oh, and tonight I'm going to Malvern out to a bar there to have drinks for a friend's birthday party...

Guess where Kara lived when we first met?  Malvern.