BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

21Dec/160

Here’s What I Don’t Get

Okay.  It's not like I've only ever dated one person.  I've dated more than just one girl.  I've been in relationships with more than just one girl.  So, logically one would think that each of the girls I have dated in the past would probably be on my mind an equal amount.  Or, even a proportionate amount to the amount of time we dated... Right?

Does that make sense?  Can we all agree that makes sense?

Like, if you dated, let's say, 5 people.  And each one was for a year.  You should have each of those 5 people on your mind for what?  1/5 of the time.  Right?  That makes sense right?

And then maybe even more sense is, if the person you dated most recently is on your mind more than the first person you dated.

Right?  I think that could make sense too.  Maybe the most recent ex, or alternatively, the one you dated the longest, perhaps, would be on your mind the most.

Does everyone agree that seem logical right?

But here I am... There's one ex of mine, who I really didn't even date for that long.  I mean of my relationships, technically the "official us" was the shortest.

And then on top of that... I mean, when we ACTUALLY dated... like Facebook official, was a good 6 years ago!

So, how come she's on my mind the most.  Not only that, the last time I checked up on her, she even had a boyfriend.

So again... How come I still think about her so much?

I guess I'm not like really asking for a real answer.  I guess, I just have never understood why she occupies so much of my thoughts.

I don't know, it's just weird.  And I don't get it.

I'm not saying I shouldn't think about her at all.  Obviously I liked her a lot.  So, she should definitely pop into my mind from time to time, as anyone should.

But it's not time to time.  It never has been time to time.  It's literally like she's ALWAYS there.  And I just don't get it.  I don't get why almost every minute of most days, I'm thinking about her.  it's just... SO confusing.  It makes very little sense to me.

Like, she's on my mind right now.  But why?  I don't know.  I don't get it.

Yes, there are moments few and far between where I stop thinking about her for a short bit... But then... She pops into my mind again.

But then I'm like why HER?  Why not someone else?  Why not any of the other girls I've ever dated?  You know?

But it's always her.  It's always that one girl.

I don't know.

It just never made sense to me and still doesn't.

What is it about her that I just think about her so often?

Who knows.  Maybe one day I'll figure it all out.  Maybe that reason why I'm not supposed to get it right now is because later on down the road... It will make much more sense.

I sure hope so.

Because right now, I just don't get why you're still on my mind so often.  And why you were on my mind so much from day one.  It just never made sense to me.  What is it about you that you've some how gotten this permanent number one spot in my thoughts?  Maybe there is no figuring out why.  Again, maybe it will all make sense eventually.

Like I said... I sure hope so.

For now... I just carry on and just go with life as it is.

It's so weird though!  I don't know.  Maybe we all have someone that's on our mind a lot for no reason other than they just are?  I guess that's possible.  Well, I guess it's time to get to sleep.

Some day I'll figure it all out.  For now... I'm just sleepy and up WAAAAAAY too late and ready for bed.

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