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AirBnB

On Friday I went on a date with a girl that does Airbnb a ton.  She usually has one guest a week or so.  She bought a 2 bedroom house in Fishtown.  I'm currently in this 4 bedroom.  Although one bedroom is still my mom's stuff, which I'm slowly removing a thing here or there.  Another bedroom is mine, another is my office, and the other is the guest room.  There's definitely just a lot of "stuff".  I try to figure out at least one or two things a week.

So, I have to live in this house for 2 years from February before I can sell it.  Well, I can sell it whenever I want, but if I stay 2 years or more I pay a significantly lower capital gains tax rate on it.

I was thinking some of my future plans should just include travel, and living in new places.  I think I'm at the point where I give up on love and a family and all that.  So, okay, yes there are some dates I've been on where I've thought, yeah, I could probably marry this person, but it wouldn't be love.  Like, I could be married to her, she's nice, she's smart, she's hardworking... But I have not feelings for her.  I'm just thinking, what kind of a marriage would that be?  Every time we kiss or I have to say the dreaded "I love you" to her.  But inside I'm just like... the only reason I decided to be with her was because my options were getting more and more limited and I'm getting older.  So it was just.. Well... It's either her or nothing.

What a sad marriage and rest of my life that would be.  You know?  Instead, I can just stay single.  I can move on a yearly basis to a new city every year.  I can travel a bunch.

Family's cost money.  Kids cost money.  And if you're not in love... It can be a drain on you and a burden on you.

Traveling costs money and so does moving somewhere new every year.  But if you're just a single guy... It can be fun.  It can be a new and refreshing experience to move every year.

So I think after my mom's estate is done and the trust is done and setup.  And in 2 years, I may sell this out and move somewhere new.  But I will most likely just Airbnb it and hang on to it and maybe use the Airbnb money to travel.  I can setup a guest room just for Airbnb.  I can put a small fridge in it and keep a lock box with a key code on it and have the key in that lockbox.

Or maybe I can entirely just remotely Airbnb the place.  Have a cleaner come after each guest.  Just have a whole house up for Airbnb.  Or I can eventually sell it and buy smaller houses in cities around the world and Airbnb those.

That way I can block out dates on the Airbnb calendar for whatever property I want to travel to.

I definitely can't do a roommate here.  I like having my own space.  Living alone is just really my jam.

Having a 4 bedroom house is super nice.  I'd really like to take the cash that I'll eventually receive, or even what I have right now, and continue to invest and reinvest.  Use the resources I have now to keep building on to something bigger.

So, I could make one room here for now into an Airbnb room and do that maybe once a month.  Another can be my studio/office.  I can use the Airbnb money to travel myself.  And use that to put into music and books and stocks.

Will I stop going on dates and completely give up on the dating thing?  Maybe.  I don't know.  I'd still like to hope that one of these days I'll meet that one girl that things just really hook in for me and her.  That they really catch.  That catching/hook feeling.  Where at first you go... Wait a minute?  And then you think about them more and more and then you end up seeing each other more and more, or you want to see them more and more.  But I keep going on dates where there's just no hook/catch feeling.  Like, I'm not super drawn to them.  I'm not like... SUPER SUPER missing them.  I don't want to text them because I WANT to text them.  I just text them because they text me back and it's like oh... I have to text this person back because otherwise I feel bad if I don't.

That's kind of where I'm at with love... the guilt relationships.  Where you feel bad if you don't contact them.  You feel bad if you don't talk to them more.  It's not like... the... I want to call this person "RIGHT NOW!" feeling.  It's just.. Meh.

Which pretty much sums up dating.  There's no real... catching/hooking feeling.  There's nothing there to tug at my heart with any of the dates I go on.  It's just... bland.  I guess.  There's nothing like... that draws me in.  You know?

And it's always a bit of a mystery.  When I think of all the girls I've "fallen for"... It's always a mystery as to why I fall for them and not other girls.  But I don't know.  Sometimes you cross paths with one girl and the moment you do... You're hooked.

I guess I'm hoping that happens again and it's for real the next time it does happen.  For now?  I'm just going to make other plans.  I'll keep with the dating site first dates.  It doesn't hurt to go on a first date a couple or few times a month.  It doesn't hurt to keep an active profile and keep on looking on there.  Keep some conversations going.  Meanwhile, I'll make other plans with music and Airbnb and hopefully get things going with that.

And everyone else can have their marriages and kids and family reunions.  And me?  I'll just try to make plans to travel or perhaps move somewhere new.  I can also always get an IT networking type job pretty much anywhere in the world at most companies.  IT people are always in demand.  If love finds me it finds me it finds me.  I'm not going to date or marry someone that I don't have any genuine feelings for.  I'm not going to be with someone out of guilt because I feel bad because I feel like we should keep things going.  I want to be with someone that I genuinely feel in my heart I want to be with her and can't get enough of her.

Maybe I never find it.  But I'd rather be single than in that situation where I live with someone I can't stand.  To me?  That's the worst situation.  To be married to someone and live together and not love them.  Because then, it's like having a roommate that you can't even charge rent, or Airbnb the room.  You just have this person... There.

And maybe I'll meet someone just going out and about.  Last night my one coworker and I ended up talking to these two girls at Barcade accidentally.  Nothing came of it.  And all 4 of us went our separate ways.  But, hey... It could be a situation like that where I suddenly do start talking to someone and it does click.  It does match and mesh.

I guess that's what leads to two people getting married.  You have to meet in the first place.  So, anyone that IS in a relationship or IS married... It's all luck.  They can't say anything to anything otherwise.  You had to meet that person in the first place.  You had to cross paths in the first place.  And there are BILLIONS of people on this planet.  So to even cross paths in the first place, your odds are astronomically small.  Then you have to click as well.  You have to click enough to keep talking.  To have the hook.  That feeling that's mutual, mind you, because a lot of people develop the feeling only on one side of the two people.  But you have to have BOTH people mutually clicking and catching with each other.

And then you have to make it all the way.

I just haven't crossed paths with her yet, if she IS even out there.  Maybe it's not.  Maybe there is no one for me.  Oh well... I mean I guess I COULD just date someone I don't have any feelings for, for a while.  I'm sure others have done that.  It just means that we know going into the relationship, that it probably will eventually end.  But I imagine a lot of people do that.  They date knowing there's an expiration date.

But for now I make other plans.  And go with whatever comes my way.  I mean my original plans for last night were actually different.  I had plans to go to go out to see The Wizard of Oz movie night at Penns Woods Winery but it rained.  So instead I ended up at Barcade and then when my coworker left to go to this concert that he was going to see, I went to do some writing at Tired hands brewing in Ardmore.

Techincally according to my plans.. I wasn't supposed to be at either of those places last night.  But there I was.  So, plans have a way of getting changed.

So who knows.  I guess some day I might run into the right girl and it will just work.  For now... I just float along and maybe make an Airbnb guest room in my house.