BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

26May/160

A Dialogue In A Nutshell

This is a dating dialogue between two people, I've condensed about 6 months worth of dialogue. This is basically dating in a nutshell from all of my various dating attempts... This seems to be the most common scenario:

Person A: I like you!
Person B: I... Might like you back.
Person A: Oh. Okay. Well... Okay, I mean that's cool.
Person B: Wait... Maybe I do like you.
Person A: Really?
Person B: No. I don't know. I have to think about it.
Person A: Oh Jesus Christ. Well fine. YOU just let me know when you make up your mind.
Person B: Okay... I DO like you. I've made up my mind.
Person A: Are you sure? Because. I REALLY like you.
Person B: I don't know. I mean, I THINK I like you.
Person A: *Screams into a pillow and cries*
Person B: Okay. I LIKE YOU!
Person A: YAY!
Person B: Actually. Sorry, I was just drunk when I said that, REALLY really drunk. Sorry. I mean, you're cool and I enjoy your company. I just don't know if we're a good match.  I have some reservations about us.
Person A: SERIOUSLY? FOR FUCKS SAKE. SERIOUSLY? OH MY FUCKING GOD! *Screams into pillow even louder*
Person B: I think we should take a break.
Person A: You're an asshole you know that?
Person B: Wait. Okay, when I said we should take a break. I meant... I just needed a day to think about things but I DO actually have feelings for you. I miss you.
Person A: You better be for real this time because...
Person B: Sorry I was drunk again. That was just the alcohol talking. Sorry. I just think we should just be friends. Although the sex is good, I'll admit that.
Person A: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Person B: Wait. I've decided I like you!
Person A: No. I'm done. Go away.
Person B: Pleaaaaaseeeeee... I want you back!
Person A: Damn it. Fine. Let's try this one more time. But, I REALLY like you and I just can't take anymore of this back and forth bull shit...
Person B: Oh... Actually, I just met someone else. SO I'm going to see where things go with that person.
Person A: I hope you die a horrible death and suffer for a long time before you die... and that you get run over by a bus, but just the feet first, then they back up over your legs. Then no one calls 911 for hours while you lie there in pain in the street as people throw trash on you and feral cats pee on you, and dogs not on leashes poop on you.
Person B: Ouch.

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