BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

31Oct/150

An Update About My Mom

My mom is pretty sick right now.  It's very serious.  She was admitted to the hospital a few weeks ago for her eyes having a problem (which is still a problem as well) but in the last week she got an infection and it's been downhill this week so far.  I got a call Monday morning about her condition that she needed to be moved to ICU and put on a ventilator.

She's basically getting lots of care and treatment.  It's an infection that is targeting, for the most part her lungs.  I'm simplifying things.  But... basically it's really serious.  Like... she may not survive this.  Actually, the doctors have confirmed that I need to be prepared that she most likely won't.  So as I speak, I've spent nearly the last two days in addition to every single night after work here at the hospital.  Lots of tears.  LOTS of tears.  The whole week has basically been just me crying on and off.  It comes in waves.  But I fight the tears back.

She has been admitted so many times, but usually it's something that she can manage to beat and the treatment isn't a big deal.  This is really something like she's never had before.

So, here I am.  Possibly about to lose my best friend in the whole world.  The one person that's just been there for me no matter what, and I've been there for her.  It's just heartbreaking.  I feel lost and alone.  All I can do is just sit with her and hope that she's comfortable and pain free... and I don't know.  Maybe she'll turn around.  There are so many issues going on though.

It's rough.  Right now she's sedated which means she can't speak, since she has a breathing tube in she needs to remain sedated.  This means it's just me talking to her without any response.  The last time I spoke with her was on Sunday on the phone.  I was supposed to come down on Tuesday and bring her clean clothes and maybe something to eat as a break from the hospital food.  But Monday morning she had to be moved to ICU and put on ventilation.  I want to speak to her right now so bad, you have no idea.  Just a conversation.  Just to talk about ANYTHING.  It's the worst feeling imaginable.

I'm trying to be strong though.  I'm managing the house and all the stuff there (which I've actually been doing for a while) and I just scheduled one of her cats for a vet check up in addition to giving them their meds.  I've got her phone and I'm calling back all her friends to update them all.  Kind of just holding things down.  Trying to have conversations with the doctors on her behalf and be her voice.

Just doing everything I can for her.  Trying to be realistic.  Trying to be hopeful.  Trying to balance the two.  It's scary stuff, but I know she's probably even more scared.  So I'm just here for her.  Just taking it one day, or one hour at a time.

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