BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

Engagement Photographers Up The Wazoo

Today I went to Longwood Gardens to write for a little bit.  Hello wedding photographers... Or engagement photographers rather.  There were at least half a dozen couples with photographers roaming the grounds snapping shots of them.  They were posing in front of every single little orange and red leaf they could find.

I sat and watched one couple and photographer do their thing.  It looked like the couple was definitely super in love.  I can't imagine what that must be like.  That must be an amazing feeling.  I was just kind of sitting there writing as they took photos by the lake/pond place.  It must be a feeling like no other.  To know that you've found that one person that you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with.

At the moment as I type this... I've still got nothing.  Part of me feels like there has to be a way to make yourself fall for someone, like maybe the people out there that ARE in love just basically made a choice to fall in love with the other person.  I've kind of tried this... I think about all the single girls that I know right now.  And I try to think of them in that romantic way... but I just feel nothing... There isn't anyone that we mutually have any interest in one another.  I have lots of friends and that's great.  I enjoy hanging out with my friends... single or not.  But there isn't any girl that I feel that little jump in my chest for.  You know... when you see someone even just for a second time and you get excited to see them again... Or you even think about them.  Or you get a text or email or message from them and you just feel that little rush of joy.

I read an article a while back about how all you have to do is stare into someone's eyes for 4 minutes.  And you'll fall in love with that person... I feel like that article is kind of full of crap because I think about all the staring contests I had with people when I was a young kid... I'm certainly not in love with any of those people and I never did end up falling head over heels for them.

Sometimes my mom's cats stare longingly at me because they want food or to be pet.  I'm certainly not in love with them either.

Sometimes people at work sit there and talk to me about their issue with their computer and they stare at me in the eyes while they speak... and I can't like look away because then I would feel rude... but it's definitely awkward... but I just sit there while they stare at me and tell me all about the issue so I can resolve it...

I'm not in love with them either.  Soo, I'm pretty convinced that article is... full o' crap.

I just don't think you can choose who you fall in love with.  You just have to be minding your own business and then.... there they are.  Out of nowhere.  All of a sudden.  Just like a pothole in the road.

So nope.  I don't have that with anyone that is currently sending texts or emails or messages that makes my heart jump when I check my phone and see it's them.  I've only ever felt that a handful of times in my life though.  And those girls were few and far between.  I guess that rare occurrence of excitement for someone is what makes it so special.  If we could all fall in love with everyone we met... Well that wouldn't be something to go out and take photos for.  That wouldn't be something to celebrate and congratulation someone on.  It wouldn't be special because it would just be a dime a dozen kind of thing...

But to find it when you least expect it in someone that you almost would have never met if just ONE thing had gone differently... That's why it's so great when two people finally meet.

I figure my line of events leading me to the girl that I'm supposed to end up with just hasn't finished that line yet.  Maybe I'm only 50 percent of the way there... and in another few years I'll find myself in some completely new place in life and then without warning there she'll be.  And it will happen so fast I won't even know what hit me.  Just like it must have happened for the couples out there today getting photos taken.

So yeah, like how I hit a pothole tonight that made a loud bang and now I'm paranoid my car is going to crap out on me.  I kept driving on and everything seemed fine... But it was definitely a pretty big pothole.  Hopefully there's nothing wrong.  If there is... I get a rental and the dealer fixes it... No big deal.  But I kind of feel like that's how love works...

Not the rental and dealer fixing it part.  The other part.

You just keep minding your own business and driving down the roads you drive each day... Like tonight where I've taken that same road hundreds of times and never had a problem... and then bam.  You do the same stuff you do in life... Perhaps hundreds of times... and then one day, love just hits you out of nowhere.

Lately I've kind of just been slowing down on dating more and more.  I still remain hopeful... But I think instead of going on dates... like from dating sites, or however they happen, I just want to hang out with friends.  Just go places.  Just do whatever.  Not try to "find" love.  I've noticed that some of my other friends have mentioned that the way they met their significant other was that they were introduced by hanging out with friends and then being introduced to a friend of a friend on some random Friday night out.

It's like six degrees of Kevin Bacon.  You know someone that knows someone that knows someone that's single.  You hang out with enough people... and eventually that one person that is right for you gets invited out as well on a Friday night.  Then you both get introduced and you get to chat as strangers with a group of people that you all know.  Then... you become friends.  Then perhaps from a friendship after knowing and trusting the person...  Maybe sparks fly.  It beats the whole going on first dates and maybe second or third dates and trying to make something happen.  I know now that you definitely can't make something happen.  Just like you can't drive around looking for potholes.  Because chances are even if you try to drive over one you'll miss it anyway and the tire will drive right beside it.  But when you try to avoid that sucker... you still hit it.

So yeah.  Instead... I guess maybe I'm more interested in that one day I'll just be hanging out with someone I know and all of a sudden bam... I'll end up with everything aligning correctly and there she'll be.

And then me and her will be just like those couples... Running around with a photographer pointing at us to stand in front of this tree and that tree and put our arms around one another and look longingly into one another's eyes.

And if not.  Then I guess I make some new friends of friends of friends of friends.  And for now, I just keep going about my day.  And going about my life.  Until that one day that love blindsides me out of nowhere on some random Wednesday evening.