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13Oct/150

Bates Motel and Haunted Hayride

Last night I went to the Bates Motel and Haunted Hayride attraction near me.  It was REALLY fun!  I was super tired after work, but thanks to my newest thing of having a little bit of iced coffee before and after work in addition to my tea that I usually drink, it gave me the gusto to push onward into the night.

 


So, the plan was to meet my coworker there just before dark, beat the crowds and lines...  Well, the plan worked for the most part.  Both of us were late due to tons of traffic on the way there.  My coworker had no work yesterday but apparently he had a lot of other stuff to do and by other stuff I mean he was busy watching Netflix.  No seriously.  That's what he said.  So, I left work at 5.  Then I stopped home, did a few things here.  I fed the cats and such and changed a stinky litter box.  Then after a quick stop at the pet store for more pet related chores and a stop at Wawa to grab a sandwich I was off.

To my surprise they bought back the Hot Turkey Gobbler.  I was ecstatic.  I ordered one and a little side of mac and cheese.  Now, eating a Hot Turkey Gobbler can be tricky.  They are a bit messy.  I've found the key is to eat your mac and cheese first.  Then use the cup/bowl along with the fork to place the Hot Turkey Gobbler shorti in.  You have to first pick at all the parts that fall out.  Then once you've gotten all the loose bits you can pick it up and more will fall out, but into the bowl.  Then eat as you please.  Make sure to remember to grab 10 napkins, because you'll need them all.  After you finish, you can just eat the rest of the bits that fell into the bowl with the fork.  Or, I guess you could just order the hot turkey bowl.  But I would argue it's just not the same.

 

 

I arrived just as I'd finished eating.  I met up with my friends and we made our way to the entrance.  We all had coupons for 10 bucks off, because we're super savvy deal hunters like that.  The 10 bucks off was only if you did all three of the different attractions.  But we wanted to do all three anyways.  So, it was a mutual win.

First up?  The haunted hayride.  It was awesome to say the least.  There was no line.  Basically, there weren't any lines for any of the three things because it was a Monday night.  We heard though, that the Friday and Saturday night prior the wait was upwards of 2 hours for the hayride.  2 hours!!!

2 hours is just too long of a time to stand in line.  I'm soooo glad we decided to go on a Monday when it was chill and there weren't a lot of people.  It was perfect really.

Well, so, my coworker and I along with his sister and her friend sat in the way back.  Word to the wise, if you decide to hayride... don't sit in the back.  That's where the people jumping out of spooky hiding spots and all the different parts of the ride seem to gravitate to.  Sure they will head up front and around to the other sides, but they MOSTLY go to the back.

We caught on quick to their game though.  So what happens is they work in teams.  One of them will just kind of walk beside you and be semi spooky.  But they won't do anything.  You'll start looking at them and pointing at them and get your friends to all look.  Then?  The second person will do some kind of big scare from the other side!  And everyone jumps.  Then they do their best evil laugh and retreat into the darkness.

The hayride was longer than expected.  I enjoyed it though.  Normally I'm not a huge horror things fan... but this was good fun because I was with lots of people.  Watching a horror movie alone though?  I probably would never do that.  It's just not normally my thing.  I used to be into watching horror movies in college in someone's dorm room.  But that's just because there would be like a dozen of us all piled in a little dorm and we would order pizzas and stuff.  Making popcorn in the little microwave.  Good times.  Also we'd make fun of the movie, so it wasn't all that scary really.  Which is kind of what our group did last night at the hayride thing.

Ok, so after that ride was over we decided to check out the corn maze.  It wasn't really maze, so much as just a really long pathway.  We meandered our way along.  The one thing that we noticed was that a lot of the scenes/sets in this attraction seemed to be "Southern" themed.  Or maybe it was "Hill Billy".  Lots of the scary people spoke in mock southern accents.  I'm not sure where that came from.  I'm going to guess it's inspired by that one chainsaw massacre movie which I believe took place in like Mississippi?  I could Google fact check, but it's late and I'm trying to get to sleep.  So I'm just going to keep typing.

I felt like every other set/scene was like, "Y'all come back now... So we can CHAIN SAW YOU APART!"

And feed you to the gators.  The corn maze people were big on gator feeding.

Oh so, there's no blade on the chainsaw though.  It's just a prop.  But it gets me every time still.  And the gator was a robotic gator.  That's an old gag.  The guy dressed as a butcher starts up a chainsaw.  Because logically butchers use chainsaws all the time to cut things up.  Maybe they do?  I'm not a butcher...

Or maybe it's a southern thing?  Ah yep, I reckon we cut everything up with a chainsaw down here in these parts...  Hey!  Y'all want that Hot Turkey Gobbler Shorti cut in half?  Hold on... Let me get the chainsaw!

I'll have to ask one of my summer camp friends that lives in the deep south if it's anything like that.  My guess is... Probably not so much.

Maybe people in the north just find southern people scary and southern people find northern people scary?

Eh, you'se guys... They're from the south!  RUN!!!

Y'all... They're from the north!  RUN!!!

So maybe since this corn maze was in the north... everyone was southern.  I guess if you go to a hayride down south, all of the scary scenes are like New Yorkers hanging out the windows of cars chewing gum honking their horns.

"Eh!  Would ya move it already??? C'mon!!!!"

Scary stuff.

Ok so after the deep south corn maze was over.  We decided to sit and enjoy some hot cocoa.  The same three songs were on loop near the concession stand.  By the time we left we were doing lip-syc routines to Thriller since we'd heard it soo many times.  And the Ghost Buster's Theme.  It was basically those two songs on repeat.  And then this random Rob Zombie song from the 90s.  That Dragula song from like 1998.

The haunted house was up next.  Now this was pretty good.  It was very twisty turny.  The props were cool.  Lots of robotic and animatronic things.  It was also very short though.  I would say that the hayride was the longest, followed by the deep south hill billy corn maze thing, then the haunted house.  The vamp house.  It seemed like there were lots of vampires from what I recall.  Not very many zombies.  Actually there didn't seem to be all that many zombies at all.  I think there were more walking scarecrow esk people than there were zombies.  Could have used more zombies for sure.  If I filled out a feedback card, I'd say...

Could you add just a tad more zombies please?  I'd suggest a couple more of those.

Anyways yes, the haunted house was short and sweet.  There was one point though that I actually REALLY hated.  They kind of trap you between two of the actors and won't let you leave this one room for a good fifteen seconds.  It seems like it will last forever.

When you finally leave though... it's like oh my gosh... I'm SOOOO glad that's over.  And then you feel only fine.  Relieved.  You feel good almost.

I guess that's the idea of all these horror things though right?  It's almost like in real life...  When things are "scary" or bad, and that does suck... eventually when the scary part is over, eventually things go back to being not so scary... it's like, ahhhh, breath of fresh air.  Things are finally ok again.

All in all I had a pretty good time with some friends.  I'm not really a horror person like I said.  So this will probably be the extent of my October scary things.  Maybe next up will be pumpkin picking.  Or something like that.  Or perhaps I'll have to grab another pumpkin margarita before that ends!  Those pumpkin margaritas are scary... scary good.

So there you have it!  That was my Bates Motel and Haunted Hayride experience.  Oh and then at the very end we just fooled around and took silly photos.

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