What if?
What if every person got a chance to go back in time just once and change something they said or did? Each person would be able to do this just once. They can use it at any point in their lifetime. They would only get to use this once and that would be it. I'd definitely use this. I would go back to 2 years ago. I guess I really should go back to 2 and a half years ago to take back something mean I said to someone that I was just getting to know... Something I definitely wish I had never said about writing stuff online (and here I am writing it online... life is ironic I suppose... ). I know if I never would have said that mean thing I could have possibly had something great at this very moment. But because of something stupid I said... here I am... regretting that online convo that I still remember clear as day like it was yesterday.
That's what I would go back to. I would change that and have never said that mean thing and... just have said what was really on my heart! Which was... I like you a lot. Buuuuut I didn't say that... I said something stupid instead. And then I spent years trying to figure out a way to fix things... and then I just said even more stupid things and did even more stupid things to mess it up even more instead of fixing it.
I guess that's why we always seek forgiveness?
It's like this... I've been watching this show called Day Break on netflix. It's about a detective caught in the same day over and over again. Every day he gets another chance to figure out what is going on and to try to right the wrongs that are happening to him... but he's finding out that some of the things that seem to be happening to him... he ultimately may have caused in the first place with his own actions...
It really just has me thinking about how sometimes our own actions can cause not only pain in our own lives but the lives of those we interact with. I think that's kind of what the show is mostly about... he is all about trying to find out why it's happening TO him... but he is learning that it's also the result of his own actions that things happen TO others... and then in return back to him.
What would you go back and change? Anything? Nothing? I guess maybe the other option that people could choose would be the option not to make any changes and accept how the past was. That's hard though. The hardest thing I think is having someone in the past that you just wish you could talk to sooooooooooo bad... but you know you can't. And maybe if you went back in time and changed that one thing... it would change things? But maybe it wouldn't... maybe it would still end up just the same?
But what if? There is always that what if. What if you could go back and change one thing in the past. What would it be? How would it change your life now? How would it change the lives of others?
I guess I need to think about those questions going forward. How are my actions going to affect others? I guess that's why we can't change the past... we just have to learn from that. And go forward with that memory and grow and change as a person. But I'll be honest... I REALLY wish I could go back and change that mean thing I said that was just stupid of me to say. And if I could I often wonder how different the last 2 and a half years of my life could be? And how different the last 2 and a half years of her life would be?
I think I can sum up how I feel at the moment with one song...
"I wish that I knew what I know now... when I was younger..."
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