Why is it that one person can affect another person so much?
Why is it that one person can affect another person so much?
Why is that? I mean... well... I guess I don't know what I really mean at the moment... or all of tonight. My mind is all confuzzeled. And my heart is still thumping along at a rather accelerated pace.
...has anyone ever had a person walk into the room (or their life) and it's like time is in slow motion. Things stop making sense. Everyone around you is talking to you but you can't focus on what they are saying. People are asking you questions and you can't respond. You can't move... you can't really do anything but just... hear the beat of your heart thud heavily against the wall of your chest.
A thousand million billion beats per minute. Or at least that's what it feels like. Or maybe there has to be a thousand hearts suddenly packed in there all beating a million beats per minute. The blood is flooding through your body and it must be warmed by fire because your face flashes so hot that you swear if you touched it... your hand would burn.
Butterflies take hold in your stomach and they must number in the thousands, or perhaps millions as well all rigorously flapping their wings away because suddenly the floor doesn't seem so solid. Like you are on a ship... or in space... or just floating. And yet at the same time you feel like you are holding up a ton of bricks in the form of your body. Your knees are so weak it takes all the energy in your body not to let them cave in.
This is what I felt tonight at church... or rather for someone I saw at church... I just... I don't know... I can't describe it... how I feel... but there you were... and that's how I felt... except even those words don't even come close to the real description. They don't match it by a long shot.
And what I really guess confuses me is this... I've never felt all this feeling at such a level and such an intense amount for anyone... ever... and you are the only one that has ever had this effect on me.
In my whole life.
It's like a wave of intensity over me so big that it makes even a towering tsunami seem as tame as one splashing waves with a finger in a tide pool.
That's how I felt from the very first moment on the steps of the coffee shop when we met that very first day... to the first time we went to church together last year... to tonight at church... and every other moment we ever spent together in between... It's the exact same feeling... completely unwavering and unchanged.
So there. I just wanted to get that out. Because it's driving me nuts keeping it in.
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