BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

14Sep/110

How I picture my “dream” relationship

I can't seem to sleep...

so I figured I'd write a post on something I think about ALLLLLL the time... relationships... I definitely watch others in relationships and try to figure out what the secret is to making it work... and all that... but I guess I have this weird idea in my head as to how it all goes but maybe it's all wrong?  I don't know but here's to me how my dream relationship would work.

First, I don't understand the question that lots of people ask... "what's the intention"... to me a relationship only has one direction... and that's to find someone who you will eventually marry and have kids with and buy a little itty bitty house with a little yard and swing set and all that.  Which is another thing.  I can't imagine NOT having kids... it's never even crossed my mind.  I don't know... so when someone says to me that they don't want kids I'm just... confused I suppose.

But ok... so when I go on a date with someone there's only one purpose there... it's to find out if we have chemistry... if we laugh... if we enjoy the time... if we can go hours without wanting to go home.  If we want to have a second date.  Then we go on a second date and the point would be to go on a third and fourth and so on... to find out more about each other... then to eventually like introduce each other to friends and all that and then to basically say wow we totally are into each other... let's make this officially official on facebook.  Sooo then we make it offcially official.  We then are boyfriend/girlfriend for however long until we decide to move in together... then we live together for a while and then I pop the question... or maybe the living together doesn't happen until the question happens... but still for me the only direction is to eventually get married.  Then we both buy a house together after the wedding... or maybe rent for a short period of time to try and save money... then we eventually have kids and we raise the kids and we just kinda do our things.

That to me is my only intention when dating ever.  But... I guess that's just how I am.

I think as far as like actually being in the relationship phase of things it should be equally balanced.  Like one person shouldn't have to carry the other person... either emotionally or financially.  We should both kind of have overlapping interests and knowledge but then also some different.  We should always be interested in each others lives and always want to know about what's going on with each other.  There should definitely be this aspect of where we just care about each other a lot.  And like if either of us text one another then we get a little warm feeling of fuzzy inside and can't wait to text back.  Same for phone call or email or just in general.  We are both just crazy about each other on an equal level.  It's not one person always trying to chase the other down.  I don't want either of us to be settling in any way.  I want us to be each others number one choices and no matter what if we could be with anyone on the planet we would still choose each other without even a hesitation of thought.

I think that even from day one... to seriously marriage we should always be excited about going on dates.  We should always both be like... "I can't wait for our dinner plans tonight!"  And then we should both always want to try to find ways to make each other smile like buying little cute gifts for each other WITHOUT ever being asked.  I've decided that one mistake I've been making is thinking that maybe things should be split down the center until a official relationship is reached... but I think instead I will just pay for all dates no matter what unless she like absolutely refuses to allow that.  The other thing  that I am going to do is bring flowers to all dates too... because I've not done that.  Until she tells me to knock it off or something.  haha... yea.

Hmmm... so but we should definitely be passionate and excited about "date nights" even if it's just a movie... some drinks somewhere.  It doesn't have to be a big fancy dressy dinner.

I think we should just both approach the relationship from a creative view and always try to think of ways to keep it fresh and fun and interesting!

Like I said... neither person should be carrying the other entirely... it should be a equally and evenly yoked.  We carry each other.  We believe in each other.

The other thing is that I'd like for both of us to try and go to church together.  It doesn't have to be every week... but maybe just whenever we can.

Again I think the goal in mind is for us to eventually marry, have kids, and buy a house and plan to be together no matter what till the end.  To not just recite or repeat the vows... but to REALLY MEAN THEM when we say them.

My final thought I suppose is that a lot of guys who are married will say... "Well I can look but I can't touch."

NO.  Absolutely not.  When I am with the girl I am with... I wouldn't even have the desire to even look.  NOT EVEN ONE LITTLE BIT OF A DESIRE.  We are with each other.  So I won't even want to look at other girls because I would know that I'm with the only girl that I want to be with for the rest of my life.

That kinda bugs me when guys do that stuff and they are married.  To me it's just not respecting their lady... or honoring what the whole idea of marriage really means.

Ok well... I guess that's all I can think of.  I'm sure that I'm leaving a lot out but I just think that my dream relationship would be both of us super passionate about each other and no other.

I just have to keep looking for someone else who wants something like that too.  What I do know is i'm DEFINIETELY not interested in a relationship that is only about "fooling around" or "having some fun" or "not looking to be tied down"... and if the person says they don't eventually want kids/don't eventually want to live together/don't want to eventually get married/think relationships should just be about going out and having fun with a different person each week... etc. etc.... To them I'll have to respectfully ask them to move along.

I do, though, want someone who will be serious about dating, and serious about us and wanting to take things to the next level when the time is right.

Maybe I'm just being unrealistic... but... I guess... again... that's why it's just a blog post and just about a "dream" relationship.

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