BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

8Sep/110

That Self Checkout Thing

Most of the time when I go to the store I usually use the self check out.  I think it's faster and I enjoy not having someone eye up every product I purchase.  I usually think about what the checkout person is thinking about me.  I hate that.  It makes me feel weird, like maybe they are thinking something about me that isn't true and I feel the need to explain every purchase to them.

For example sometimes I buy those veggie crumbler things because they make good taco fillers!  But then I'll buy some  chicken at the same time.  Or I'll buy the cheapo shredded cheese but then buy organic eggs and milk.  So I can just see the person saying in their head... "So um, what's up with this guy?!  He bought some of his stuff organic and some not... He bought vegatarian AND meat!  That's just not right man... not at all."

Or you have those people behind you watching the register person check you out and they are all thinking in their head WHY DID HE BUY SO MUCH YOGURT!  Well, I mean it was on sale... but also I happen to like yogurt... How about you? why are you buying 27 cans of almonds?

Mmmmmmm Hmmmm that's what I thought.  I'll get my yogurt and you get your almonds.  And one day maybe Silk will make an almond yogurt out of almond milk and we can shop together... in almond yogurt goodness!

But for now... we all buy different fun things...

Oh gosh that would be bad if we could read minds... could you imagine what it would be like in check out lines around the world.  It would be all sorts of awkwardness.  I would imagine at least it would be awkward.  Although who knows?  Maybe most would share cooking recipes or something like that!  I did that one time... before a snow storm last year a lady told me this awesome soup recipe... I never made it though... and I didn't write it down... it's lost and gone forever in the land of never made soups.

Anywho as I was saying...

I don't know I just like the idea of going through the self check out instead of the person check out.  But I was thinking about the voice tonight as I was making my purchases at the store.  She was telling me what I bought and how much it cost.  I imagine who this lady is?  Like... I don't think it's a robot voice... I think it's pre-recorded snippets of some actual lady!  I wonder what she's like in real life... does she have any pets?   I don't know... I'm just curious to know her!  Is that weird?   Well, maybe... but I still think it would be more interesting to know the person helping you check your groceries out!

So then I thought... ok maaaaaaaybe that's what's missing.  I mean having a small convo with the check out guy or girl sometimes isn't so bad.  I learned about a new band that way.  A few years ago I was getting chips... because I was in the mood for chips... they are all crunchy and you can dip them in things and they are good to take to parties and such.  OK WELL... I bought a bag of chips... and the guy was like...

"DUDE!  I LOVE CHIPS TOO!  YOU LIKE CHIPS!"

I was like "Oh heck yea you know I do!"

Then he was all, "Rock and roll.  ROCK AND ROLL!"

I was like "I like rock and roll too..."

and he was like "SHAAAA nooooooo WAY!"

And I was like "Way"

Then we just stood there for a moment.

Then some lady behind us was like "I like soup"

And we both were like "soup is good too."

 

Then we all group hugged.  OK maybe we didn't group hug, but it was still a special moment.  Well then as I was putting in my debit card digits the guy was like ohhhh speaking of rock and roll check out this band... and he told me about Hit The Lights.  It's obnoxious punk pop rock kinda similar to Fall Out Boy.  I gave em a listen and still enjoy them from time to time.

ok Sooooo sorry I've been kind of meandering tonight.  As I was saying someone you know, but obviously we can't record our friends in checkout form.  So then I thought well what about those GPS voices where you can get famous peoples!

And thats when it hit me...

Celebrity checkout voices....

I mean they do it on radio stations all the time... "hey this is ________ and you are listening to ________"

Sooooo why not let one of the Backstreet Boys or maybe Lisa Simpson or maybe one of the SNL characters help me check out my groceries?

"LIVE FROM YOUR GROCERY STORE... IT'S TIME TO CHECK OUT!"

True it might get a little cheesy... (and maybe even more cheesy if you are buying cheese...) but I think it would be cool!

And to keep things fresh, like the produce and meats... they would also have expiration dates and get changed out maybe every week or month.

HOW... AWESOME... WOULD... THAT... BE?!?!?!?!?!?

i want it.

Filed under: Stuffs Leave a comment
Comments (0) Trackbacks (0)

No comments yet.


Leave a comment

No trackbacks yet.