BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

22Aug/160

Miss Daylight

I've decided to start calling you Miss Daylight.  Of all the things that I've come up with to refer to you on this blog, I like Miss Daylight the most.  Who is Miss Daylight?  Miss Daylight is, this girl, someone that I once crossed paths with, that made me feel like no other girl has ever made me feel, I would marry that girl in a heartbeat without hesitation if she were ever mutual interested.  But, well, as we all know, she's not...

But today I was thinking, well, you know, maybe Miss Daylight will be just the whisper of that girl that once caught my heart.  Maybe she'll be someone that I just will always be completely and absolutely head over heels for.  Even until my very last dying breath.  Miss Daylight will always be that one that I wish I could have had.

But perhaps Miss Daylight could also refer to perhaps a future love that could be with someone else, not that I have anyone else at the moment.  But as these things go, one thing is for sure, there are always new people that come into our lives.  Even though we have those people that are out of our lives who once were part of our lives, we still have small pieces of those people.  The pieces... The little bits and hints of love that are always extinguished so quickly.

Maybe I'll start a story and name the character Miss Daylight.  Maybe it will turn into a Field of Dreams type of scenario.  Maybe if instead of building it... I'll write about it.  I'll write about love, and perhaps it will come.

Maybe Miss Daylight will turn into that love that I've been searching for.  Not the Miss Daylight from my past.  But perhaps some new Miss Daylight.  Perhaps some completely unexpected person that I've yet to cross paths with... Will be another Miss Daylight.

After all before there was Miss daylight there were other girls that did capture my fancy.  Though, none quite at the level that Miss Daylight did... But I had no idea that her level of fancy was anywhere near what it was until I met her.  There's always a far larger mountain.  You might think the largest mountain near you is huge... Until you find a large one.

And then that one blows your mind.

Miss Daylight...  When I met Miss Daylight, my feet were still prickly from my previous love interest.  Prickly feet are the worst.  That's when you love someone, and they don't love you back.  It makes your feet feel as though tiny little pins and needles are poking the soles of your feet.  Tiny little pins and needles that also feel like burning sand.  Hot midday summer burning sun sand shimmering in the daylight.  What causes it?  General it's because you think of someone that is thinking of someone else.

It's supposed to deter you from thinking of that person.  Every little memory or wish about that person will make your feet even more prickly.  So you try not to think about that person so as to sooth your soles.  It's no use.  They burn away as you yearn away.  Prickly feet as I like to call it can only be fixed by one thing... A new love.  Why?  Because the thoughts are reciprocated.  When you think loving thoughts in the direction of someone that also things them back... It returns you to feeling whole again so your feet return again to a comfortable state.  The new love is like finally stepping into the relief of ocean water. Where the burning sand meets the cool wet sand to take away the pain on the soles of your prickly feet.

Until that happens.  You suffer.  You learn from the pain.  You learn why your feet prickled in the first place and you remember that so that when the next Miss Daylight comes around, you don't make the same mistakes to suffer again from prickly feet.

My feet are still very much so in a burning prickly pins and needle state as they have been for some time.  You never get used to it.  You just get used to dealing with the prickly pain.  A reminder of what not to do the next time another Miss Daylight comes into your life.

Filed under: Stuffs No Comments
22Aug/160

Just Keep Hoping

Dating really does just suck.  It's the worst.  But I just have to keep hoping that one day it will work out for me.  I mean almost everyone I know is all lovey dovey or married or in relationships of some sort.

And I'm basically the ONLY single person.

I keep messaging new people on the dating sites I'm on.  Most just fizzle out after a while.  They respond for a little while but then eventually...

They disable their profile.  Or like what happened to me recently... I actually did make it to a date... But she just stopped responding after the date.  Ghosting as it's called. No explanation.

I was chatting with another girl for a couple weeks and then finally asked her out.  No response.  Another ghost.  That's how dating sites go though.

The girls are super flakey.  In real life I talk to girls pretty much anywhere and everywhere I go.  Most are already with someone.  There are very few single girls in real life.

I'm probably just going to end up alone.  It's impossible to date these days.  And as I get older it will just become harder and harder.  Until there will be no point in even trying to date.

Girls are just mean for the most part.  Either they ghost without any explanation.  Or they are just mean.  Very angry and mean.  They just aren't nice at all on dating sites.  The word vicious is much more accurate.

Dating is almost painful.  It's  a terrible process.  But, what else is there.  Just have to keep trying and hoping that one day I make it to that whole marriage thing.

I mean so many other people have made it.  SO many other people are all in relationships.

So I figure there has to be a nice girl out there somewhere.  Someone that isn't vicious and mean like the others that I talk to.  Someone that won't just stop responding.  Someone that actually is sincere.

But none of them seem to be sincere.  Just mean and angry ghosts.

Anyways, it's just depressing.  I just wish I knew like where to go to meet someone nice.  Even the whole going to church thing is a bust.  They are all already all married in churches.  Single people don't exist in real life it seems.

Or they are lying to me.  Which, I wouldn't put it past girls to lie to my face and say they have a boyfriend.

I feel like girls lie a lot.  That they just say they have a boyfriend when they really don't.  Oh well... That's on them if they want to lie.

Anyways... Yeah, dating just sucks.  It's terrible and horrible and the girls on dating sites just are super mean.

But I just need to keep hoping that one day... One day... that one girl will come along that will just work.  It gets harder and hard to keep that hope alive... But... I just have to keep hoping that she's out there somewhere.  And that one day I to will know what it's like to do that whole marriage and wedding thing.

Filed under: Stuffs No Comments
22Aug/160

White Girls Won’t Respond

You know, it's weird.  In all my years of dating, I've noticed something on dating sites...

White girls respond SIGNIFICANTLY less than any other demographic.

So, for example if I sent 10 messages to 10 white girls... And 10 messages to 10 black girls... And 10 messages to 10 latino or hispanic girls...

Maybe 3 of the white girls will respond.  IF that.  Maybe 1 in 10.

Black and hispanic?  100 percent.  Same with asian.  Even if I message a girl in another part of the world... Usually 100 percent response.  Russia.  Or France. India.

But white girls from the United States?

Very low response rate.

I'm not making any inferences from that data.  Just stating that is how the response rates are on dating sites.  If she's white, and especially if she's from a major city in the U.S. and she's white?  Very unlikely to respond.

If she's well educated and has a BA/BS or MA/MS?  And she's white?  And lives in a major city?  And doesn't have kids?

Probably not going to get a response at all.

White girls just don't respond on dating sites.  I even come across profiles where the girl will say... I don't date outside my race.  And I'm just like... Well that's very closed minded, but hey, to each their own.

Me personally?  I take the Backstreet Boys approach to dating in general, and to responding to girls on dating sites...

I don't care who you are...

Where you're from...

What you did...

As long as you love me.

There's also a lot of people with deal breakers.  I don't have any deal breakers.  If we click.  We click.  I don't care about weight, or height, or distance, or race, or religion, or education level...

If I develop feelings for you when we are getting to know one another... Then that's all that matters.

To me... The most important thing is that we fall for one another.  Everything else is just details.

You capture my heart?  I could care less about anything else.

Filed under: Stuffs No Comments
21Aug/160

Who Else Is Here? PRO, for Business

SO, I just had another thought.  The 'Who Else Is Here' app could be used professionally.

What about if you are at a convention of some sort.  A corporate convention.  Now you can check in and see who else is there.  You can chat professionally with other people from other companies at that convention.  It opens up a chatroom.  The admins of the event, or the coordinators can create channels.

They could create rooms to go with the conference rooms.  SO if there's a conference and it's at a hotel, or a convention center.  Now you check in and you can see everyone else there.

What if you had a productive conversation with someone at the bar and you didn't get a chance to get their business card?  You can see if they are on Who Else Is Here?  And then you can follow up on there.

Again, broadcast messages can be sent by the convention coordinators.  Or you can send emergency messages.  You can also send out general announcements for the event.  And you put in your title.  Maybe you are a rep.  Or maybe you are there to give a presentation.  Announce your presentation in the presentations channel.

You can publish your business card so that everyone can see it.  Send a digital business card to everyone else at the event.

Who Else Is Here?  The premier app for live event networking.  Download it now in the Apple App Store and on Google Play and see who else is here!

'Who Else Is Here?' PRO for Business... Check-in, coordinate, chat.

Filed under: Stuffs No Comments
21Aug/160

Who Else Is Here?

So I had this idea for an app.  It's called Who Else Is here?

You check in with your phone when you get to an event, or a venue.  It does it by GPS.  SO even if you TRY to check into an event, if you aren't within like so many feet of the venue, or festival, it won't even let you check in.

When you leave, it will automatically check you out.

While you're there, you can chat with and message other people at the event.  Even people you don't know.  You upload a photo... and make a little profile.

SO then the idea is... Okay in person if I see a cute girl, I make my way over to her.  I talk to her.  It could be a good 15 or 20 minutes to a half hour before she brings up her boyfriend or significant other.  If she's married you just look for the ring.

But if she's not married... You waste time talking to someone that isn't single... When you COULD be talking to someone that is.

Or, let's say you are only there to make friends and you just don't want someone coming up to you.  You can set your status as... just here for friends.

SO you check in and pick a status:

Here and single, and ready to mingle.

Here and in a relationship.

Here and married.

Here and queer, because why not!?

Here and just looking for friends, so don't hit on me, or waste your breath.

Then everyone can message everyone else that has checked in.  But they can already be aware of their intentions.  All the single mingle people can find one another.  All the not so single people can also find one another.

Here and preggers.

All the pregnant girls can find each other and bond over baby babble.

Here and not from around here. 

Maybe all the people not from around here want to bond.

You choose what it is you're here for.  You're here and you're... What?  Then find other people that match your status.

Maybe it's a concert.  Maybe it's a festival.  Maybe it's just a karaoke bar.

Then you can also see what other people have also been at the same events and places you have in the past.  It will show you event history.  It won't show you if you were at the same place but at different times.  It will only show you if you both checked in to the same place and time previously but didn't chat.

Once you leave the event, unless you mutually connected with each other during the event.  You can't contact them again.

So you can only make contact AT the event.  IF you both star one another and save the friendship... Or whatever... You can then keep chatting.

There's also a general chat room where anyone can broadcast any message to EVERYONE at the event.

Let's say there's an emergency and something happens on the east end of the concert ground.  Then you can broadcast message everyone and say... EVERYONE, MAKE A PATH TO THE EAST GROUNDS FOR AN AMBULANCE TO COME THROUGH!!!  SOMEONE FELL AND BROKE THEIR LEG!

Then everyone knows.

Maybe that will be restricted to event admins or something.  So that people can't send bogus messages.  But maybe there's just like a general chat room where anyone can say anything they want.

Basically it's real time chat rooms at events and concerts and venues and bars and restaurants.

You check in and then start chatting!

Here and ready to drink beer!

Filed under: Stuffs No Comments
21Aug/160

Better Dating Communication

SO, I went on this Bumble date on Friday night, after weeks of us talking.  We got a drink at one place... And yes, I paid for our drinks... Then we got a drink at a second place.

I texted her yesterday and haven't heard back.  I know I won't.  She ended the date with.. "Well, it was nice to meet you."

And that was that.  If they are interested they talk about let's meet again.  But if they are't they just say... it was nice!  Even though it wasn't nice.  Because if it was nice... You would be interested in meeting again.

Oh well.  We weren't compatible anyways... She's super into all the philly's sports teams and I'm just like oh, "Yeah, I don't watch sports."  And she was like... "I used to live in the city and it was AWESOME because I lived RIGHT next to the stadiums in South Philly so I could go ALL the time to see games."

And she was expecting me to be like... THAT'S AWESOME!  Instead I was like.. "Yeah, that seem's like it would have been nice."

SO when things are nice... It means.... the opposite in dating.

I feel like dating is weird and sugar coated and everyone says the opposite of what they mean.

I don't know, we need better communication.  We need to just be open and honest when we go on dates.  And just like say exactly what we're thinking and not be nice or hold back.  It's such a waste of money and time to think maybe someone is interested... If I knew from the first moment we met in person before we even went into the establishment and bought the drinks... It would just be like okay.  Let's not even waste our time.

For example when I walked up to meet her... I responded to her last text message as I was walking up to her, but I responded verbally.  She was looking down at her phone.  She brushed me off and was like oh no, I'm waiting for someone, sorry.  Not interested in talking.

And I was like ummm... "I'm the person you're waiting for."  She was like oh.  OH.  Sorry.  Yes.

I knew right there... She wasn't interested.

That's dating though.  It's lots of wasting time.  Wasting money.  Wasting text messages.  It's just a clusterfuck really.  It's a train wreck.  It's terrible.  It's awkward.  It sucks.

It just really stinks because all these posts on Facebook from all these friends of mine that USED to also be single for the longest time are ALL meeting people.  Even Daylight is all gaga over her significant other the last time I checked.

I don't know.  It just makes me literally question the point of my existence.  Do I really want to just live out the rest of my days... Hoping.  Waiting.  Getting shot down over and over again.

It's almost like what's the point of life?  I feel like just being single and getting older and older... There becomes less of a point of life.

I mean, I'm not suicidal by any means... But... What if I'm 40 or 50 and still single.  I'd never just off myself or blow my brains out.  I'd definitely just waste all my money on booze probably.  Just start buying everyone I know shit.  Just basically not really give a crap bout life anymore because dating would be COMPLETELY hopeless.  Who knows... Maybe the love of my life is around the bend.

But these girls on dating sites that I go on dates with certainly don't help self esteem.  And the fact that EVERYONE else is all fall in love and meeting someone just makes me feel like shit most days.  Like... What's the point of even logging into Facebook.  More like fuck that shit book.

I guess I just have to keep going out to as many events as I can.  I already go out a lot but I just have to keep going out more and hoping that she's just around the bend at one of these things.  It's hard though.  Most girls are like icebergs.  You have to try to pick away with this little tiny ice pick.  Trying to convince a girl that you're worth her time or effort is nearly impossible.

Most of them don't want to give you the time of day.  After all... There's a million other guys also trying to holler at her... SO who the heck are you and why should I even give you a second glance?

I don't know... I just hate it all.  It's just like what's the point.  Everyone else is falling hopelessly in love and I just keep going on these bad online dating site dates where the girls are super apathetic about the dates.

And I'm just like okay... Well... I mean, what exactly IS it that you want me to do to impress you? Because some of the guys that I see that seemed to be married or in relationships out at these events look like complete slobs.  One guy hadn't had a job in a year.  But he was with someone.

I don't get it.  I feel like there's no rhyme or reason to how a girl decides she wants to date a guy.  "Oh I want a guy with his shit together."  And then she's all of a sudden dating some guy that just sits at home all day and smokes up and can't even keep a job as a cook in a restaurant and he's had 8 different jobs that he's lost over the past year.

SO basically... the moral of the story is... Don't believe anything that any one says because they are all full of shit when it comes to dating.

Anyways it's just frustrating.  And I'm just like tired of the dating scene and being single and trying to find someone when everyone else seems to have had no problem meeting the love of their lives.  It's just like... I don't get why there isn't just ONE girl that's interested enough that we can make it all the way.

Oh well.  I guess she'll come along one day.  Who knows.  I sure as heck don't.  The only thing I know is that dating just sucks.  And going on first dates from dating sites and apps is just depressing.

Filed under: Stuffs No Comments
21Aug/160

Food Truck Fest

Food truck fest was fun.  Basically went all day.  I had two friends meet me there.  Or come find me.  So, I guess people are starting to be interested in meeting me at events.  Not working so great for finding love... But it's working as far as something to do.

Before the food truck fest I did chores, I went to the bank and paid the school tax bill.  I was HOPING there would be either estate funds or trust funds released to pay that.  It was just shy of 5 grand.  Still waiting on that money.  So instead I took care of it myself from my personal savings.  I look at it like this... Okay so the one tax bill now is 5 grand.  The other in the spring is about 1200.  So that's 6200 bucks.  Basically then there's homeowner's insurance at about a 1100 a year, and finally the bills and maintenance of the house.  People have bills anyways even if they rent.  There's electric and gas and cable, and whatever else.  So that cost is the same if you rent or own.  But given that there's no mortgage on my house, I only have taxes, and then insurance.  Actually even insurance is still the same for a renter because if you rent you buy renter's insurance.

So basically.... My "rent" is my tax bill.  So I look at it like, I'm paying about 6 grand a year to "rent" an entire 4 bedroom house in the suburbs.

Which is pretty good if you ask me.  So, that's 500 bucks a month rent.

Try finding 500 dollar a month rent in the Philly area?  Try finding a 4 bedroom house with a driveway and a yard for 500 dollars a month.

So, that's why even though no money has been released yet, I'm fine paying this "rent".  The thing that's different is that you pay it all at once instead of once a month.

And since it's real estate... Over the long term, this property goes up in value.  So each year that I stay here and hold on... when I do finally sell it, this property will sell for more money.

When you move out of a place that you rent... That's it.  You just move out.

Anyways so, I paid the tax bill and it was fine.  I'll just start saving again to save back that money.

 

So I went to the festival.  It was fun.  I just hung out and had wine and ate small snacks from each of the trucks.  Some had these huge orders that you could do, but I just stuck with single little tiny things, since I'm single.  So, that works.  I got a taco here, an empanada there, a milkshake here... Etc. etc.

Every time I was in line at a truck, it was an excuse to talk to people.  I used to hate waiting in line, but here's the thing about waiting in line... And about things going "wrong"... it's an excuse to talk to people.

Chaos is the ultimate ice breaker.

My plan anymore is kind of how one of my co-workers told me to do it.  So, my coworker told me that the best way to date or find someone is to go into a club... And just smack every girl's butt that you see.  He said "sure, most of them will turn around and scowl at you and maybe slap you in the face back.... But if you slap enough butts, eventually one of them will like it.  And she'll turn around and want to dance with you."

So, I won't ACTUALLY be slapping butts.  But it's a good idea.  It's that "It only takes one" saying.  SO instead, you just talk to EVERY girl you see.  You talk until she walks away.

When waiting in line at the food truck, just talk.  Just talk to the people next to you.  Just keep trying to start a conversation.  Most of them will yawn and look the other way.  Most of them won't be interested.  But then ONE person... Will talk back.

Or, okay so... here's how this went yesterday...

So yesterday, just like every day now... I pretty much say "yes" to everything.  Comedy improv works on this premise.  You have to say YES AND... And then you go with whatever happens.  You don't shoot anything down because you don't know where it might lead.

You just follow the yes.

So, YESterday... I was yes-ing it up.  First my one friend Kirsten, who I know because I met her at the Lock and Key event thing... met me in the morning.  We had some food truck food and a glass of sangria.  In the email I received they said there would be wine slushies... Apparently the machine was broken though.  So they had sangria instead.

Then she left.  Well, right as she was leaving... my one friend Tom showed up.  I met this dude when out writing one night in Phoenixville.  We just started chatting while sitting next to one another.  We kept meaning to make plans but they always fell through.  I met him at least 3 or 4 years ago when I first started the book.

So, we were hanging out at one of the food trucks to get more stuff.  Then we started chatting with this girl behind us.  But I think the conversation started because of something Tom said to me.  Then she commented on it.  So if Tom hadn't showed up we might not have been in that line with that girl behind us and she might not have commented on that thing we said...

Then because we all started talking she said she was going to the tour at 4.  I had no idea there even was a tour.  SO we went on the tour with her and her friends.  Then in the tour... This one girl fainted.  SO then while she was being helped and we were in a second room giving her space and what not...

All of us started chatting with one another.  Rewind to a half hour earlier... Could I have told you I'd be in the wine cellar room at Chaddsford Winery talking to people I normally wouldn't have talked to or had a reason to talk to because a girl in the other room fainted, probably because she was dehydrated or from the heat?

I couldn't have guessed that.  Anyways the girl came to and she didn't want to go to the hospital, she just wanted to drink water and eat food.  I think she should have gone to the hospital anyways but she said it was just because she didn't eat enough and she didn't have enough water.  You can't force anyone to get medical help.  So she just went upstairs and got food and water and stopped drinking wine.

We finished the tour.  But something was different about that group.  It wasn't a normal tour, it was... Wait you were in the tour with us when that girl fainted!

Now you have something that binds you together.

And that's the secret to friendship, or connecting people.  Or one of the secrets.  When you go through some sort of chaos... You connect more than if nothing happens.

Maybe that's the point of bad things happening, is to connect people together.  If only good things happened... It might change who we know and all that.

Well anyways, so nothing really came out of it.  Except who knows... Maybe at one of my next events I'll be waiting in line for something and I'll be like... "Oh, a few weeks ago I was at Chaddsford Winery and this girl passed out."

And someone will be like... "OH MY GOD... THAT WAS MY FRIEND!!!"

And then maybe me an that person will start talking.  And here's the interesting thing...

When you have something in common.  Or you have something that you went through... WITH SOMEONE... You are way more willing to talk.

"Wait... YOU went to that college too?"

"No way... You're also from that area?"

"You know so and so?  I KNOW so and so!!!!"

I've found this to be 100 percent true.  If you're at an event where you no nobody there and you strike up a conversation with a random person and you find out a commonality... The conversation is propelled to a new level.  It goes from... "Who the heck is THIS random person?" To... "WAIT... LET'S BE FRIENDS!!!"

I'm not like this... I just try to be friendly to anyone and everyone without having that... But most people seem to need some kind of way to figure out how they can "let you in".

If it's dating... or friends.  There's a huge wall you have to break down.

But I figure that's how I'm going to meet her.  It will be completely random like that.  I mean I COULD have met her on the tour.  That's the way I look at it.  She could have been standing next to me on the tour.  But why did I even go on that tour?  Because of the girl in line to get ice cream/milkshakes at the one food truck.  And why did that girl and I even start talking?  Tom showed up.  And why did Tom show up?  Because I met him when I was out writing.  And why was I out writing?  Because of Miss Daylight and this book that she inspired.

Obviously the love of my life wasn't on the tour with me.  But, who knows... Maybe one of her friends was.  Maybe she was AT Chaddsford Winery but I just didn't chat with her.  Or maybe she had a boyfriend at the time.  And then maybe in 6 months or a year they break up... and we meet at some other thing and say "Oh my God!  You were there too?!!?!"

That happened on Thursday night at Nightscape.  I was standing in line to get a beer and I mentioned that the girl playing, had a full band the last time she played.  Then the girl behind me said that she was there earlier in June.  I said for the Wine and Jazz fest?  She said YES!  Then we started chatting, so its possible that the love of my life could have been at Longwood Jazz Fest... Because there were a lot of people there that I didn't talk to.  Well, so THEN I went over back to her table with her and was chatting with her and her two friends.  Turns out her two friends weren't her friends at all.  She was just talking to these two girls while waiting for her other two friends to show up.  Then her other two friends showed up.  I kept chatting with the two girls that this other initial girl had  brought me to.  Then we all did Nightscape together, the three of us.

But the "connector" girl was long gone.  SO, I think some people and events are just put in your life to connect you to something else.  It's like everyone and everything just is to lead you to the next event or person.

It's all about timing I guess.

And talking to everyone you possibly can.  Just say YES to everything.  You never know where the love of your life might be.  If you say no to something, you could be saying no to love.

So, I'll just keep going out to things and saying yes to anyone and everyone and as my co-worker puts it... I'll be metaphorically slapping every girl's butt that I meet... Or in real life, just striking up conversations at every chance I get, because you never know when that one girl might turn around and then THAT will be the one that I end up marrying.  Which is the ultimate goal of all this going out to events anyways.  It's just to find that one that matters.  That forever person.  That one that you grow old together and sit on the couch together watching reruns.  Or you sit on the front porch in rocking chairs together.

The one that you say I DO to... and it's the best day of your life and you get that photo of the two of you kissing at the wedding framed and it hangs on your wall in your home.

That's the WHOLE point of all this going out.  But for now I just have to keep going out.  Keep going and going and going and talking and saying yes to the next event and letting it lead me to the love of my life.  Letting it lead me one day to a wedding day and vows and all that.

 

Filed under: Stuffs No Comments
19Aug/160

Coffee, Tea, Wine And Beer

I wish I could just date coffee, tea, wine, and beer.  Here's the thing about dating, versus... Coffee, Tea, Wine, and Beer.

When you date someone... There's feelings.  Either you feel nothing or something... and the other person feels nothing, or something.

If you date someone and you like them, but they don't like you back... It ends.  I've been in that situation, maybe you try to convince that person... But in the end, if they just don't feel it, they just don't feel it.  That's what happened with Miss Daylight... I tried to convince her to like me... But no amount of trying ever got her to have a change of heart.  Or, perhaps, you date someone and you don't much like them but they like you... Same outcome... It ends.  Maybe you try to convince yourself that you COULD love them... maybe?

Ultimately that's just not going to work... Eventually it ends.  I've been in that situation too.  Someone likes me and they tell me they like me... And I TRY but... I just can't get my heart to feel anything just like Miss Daylight couldn't get her heart to feel anything for me.

But coffee, tea, wine, and beer?  Every time I take a sip of either one of those beverages... there's no wishy washy nonsense about it.  There's no... Maybe there will be sparks?  Maybe not?  It just works.  You always feel the desired effect.  Could you imagine if you drank a cup of coffee, or had a glass of wine...

And maybe you felt something?  Maybe one in every 50 cups of coffee, you felt perhaps a slight buzz.  Or one in every 50 glasses of wine you feel tipsy.

And THEN even with those 1 in 50... the coffee or the wine doesn't want you back.

So I guess it's more like you taste 50 types of wine.  Let's compare dating to wine tasting...

You go to a wine tasting event... and you sip 50 samplers of wine.  Each sampler is like a first date.

But in order to even GET the wine sample in the first place, you have to sit and talk with the winery rep at the tasting booth.  First, you have to fight with a whole bunch of other wine tasters also trying to holler at the wine rep.  The wine rep is winking back at them and they are complimenting the wine rep.

For the sake of this argument we'll just say that everyone has to show off their wine glass.  Everyone has a unique wine glass that they hand painted and brought with them to the tasting event.

If your wine glass has what it takes to get the wine rep's attention standing behind the tasting booth... The wine rep will holler back.

Then... All of a sudden... The rep is coming over to you.  You chat, everyone else is still trying to show off their hand painted wine glass, but yours has the wine rep's eye.  That wine rep is interested in pouring a sample of wine into your glass.

But before that can happen, you must first answer three questions.  Ugh.  Okay FINE.  What are your questions?  If you answer one wrong... The wine rep will walk away and holler back at someone else.  ALL I WANT IS SOME WINE!!!

Okay... Let's get on with the questions already.

Let's say you get those questions right.  Okay... Now you get a small taste. You LIKE the taste.  You want a WHOLE bottle.

GIVE ME THE WHOLE BOTTLE!!!  HERE TAKE MY MONEY!!!

This is, in the dating world, you went on a first date and you want a second... Or a whole bunch more.  You're very interested.  You even paid for the other person's stuff at the bar.  Take ALL my money.  Just give me more than a taste!!!

Oh.. Well... Here's the thing... The rep has other tastings or "dates" lined up with other people.

FIIINE.

So you know, you're patient.  You're pleasant about it.  You pretend to not care that the wine rep isn't being exclusive with you and that the rep is sitting there pouring precious wine from that amazing bottle you tasted into other glasses.

FINALLY, you get another taste.  The rep has decided on you.  You fork over dough for the whole bottle.  Just GIVE ME THE WHOLE THING.

You get a glass.

Screw it.  I'll take what I can get.  You down the glass in no time flat.

The wine rep tells you that there's someone else willing to pay more for the rest of what's left of this bottle, even though you already paid for the whole bottle.

You eye that person in the corner.

You fork over more money.  They fork over more money.

JUST GIVE ME MORE OF YOUR WINE!

The wine rep tells you that the bottle is yours.  You will be forever exclusive.  The rep starts to pour into the glass.  Then stops.  "What's going on here?  I thought you said we were exclusive?"

The rep tells you it's complicated.

Then all of a sudden the rep is pouring the rest of the bottle exclusively into the other person's glass.  "What the heck?  You're cheating on me?"

The rep tries to explain that the rep met this other wine taster a while back at a different tasting.  That they had a previous agreement.

You call BS and argue that you already bought the whole bottle.

The rep explains that the bottle belongs to this other person and that the other person just had no idea that this taster would ever come back for the bottle.  The other person had just kind of disappeared from the previous wine tasting event with no explanation, but that they just showed up and... they keep mentioning that it's complicated.

There's only a small bit of wine left in the bottle.  You say, screw it, and smash your glass on the floor and then grab the bottle and smash it on the floor too so that no one else can have any more of the bottle.

That's dating when it comes to people.  When it comes to love.

Imagine if that's what you went through when all you wanted was a glass of wine?

But lucky for everyone, a glass of wine can be purchased and it's yours.  You don't have to fight for it.  You don't have someone else having a previous claim to that bottle of wine or glass of wine that you thought was yours...

In love... You might wake up the next morning after thinking that you met the love of your life... To find someone else kissing that person instead.

You won't find someone else sipping your glass of wine... It's your glass of wine.  And that's why wine is awesome.

It's your cup of coffee, or cup of tea.  Or pint of beer.  You don't have to fight for it.

And the feeling that it gives you is ALWAYS consistent.  It's not like... Well... MAYBE one day I like you and the next I don't.  Maybe I tell you I'm interested on a Tuesday and by Friday I just want to be friends instead.

Nope.  Wine doesn't ever tell you, "Let's just be friends."  Wine is always... "I love you!  I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER."

And this is why I love wine too.  Because it's always, 100 percent, there for you.  Unlike dating.  Where people can't seem to make up their minds and sometimes they want you and sometimes they don't.

So the moral of the story is... Just date wine.  The end.

Filed under: Stuffs No Comments
17Aug/160

Food Trucks and Wine Slushies

So, this Saturday I'm going to food trucks and wine slushies at the Chaddsford winery.  That'll be fun.  My new thing is just trying to go out nearly every single night.  I mean, here's my thing... I'm single.  Dating sites just aren't working for me.  I still message girls on there, but 99 percent of the time they won't message back.  If they do, they only say a few things, or they only respond sporadically.  Then they just ghost.

It's frustrating.  But going out to places in the real world, NOT online... I don't know, there you can actually have an entire conversation.  Sure, at the end of the night you might never share contact information.  And it may not even lead to something romantic... But here's the difference between going out to an event... and online dating.

In the real world, you can sit and talk and you can just be like... friendly.  You don't have to be romantic.  You can just tell jokes.  Okay here's the NUMBER one difference between online world and real world.

I can be funny.  It's SOOO hard to be funny online.  But in person?  I can get a girl to laugh REALLY easy.  Online?  Words are too easily misinterpreted.

I've pretty much given up on the online dating thing.

Most of the girls are ANGRY.  They are just super angry because they are getting all these other guys that are being perverts and sending photos of their wang.

In person?  You don't have a bunch of other guys coming up to the girl pulling out their wang in public.

You just have... We're all drinking.  Oh, that's the other thing.  Alcohol makes EVERYTHING so much easier.

People talk to each other.

Really the benefits of going to events FAR outweigh the benefits of online dating.  I use the term benefits loosely.  And by loosely I mean there are no benefits.  Online dating just sucks.

But here's the deal with the events.  I'm not just going to bars.  I'm not just going out.  I'm going to events.  Events are different.  Festivals.  Things that people are excited to go to.  People are WAY more friendly at events... Such as food trucks at a winery.  People are way more friendly at Science After Hours.  People are way more friendly at Musikfest.

Here's the thing... A lot of the single and social 30 somethings in the Philly area... Are ALL going to these same events.  So it's actually pretty likely that someone that was at Musikfest might also be at the food truck event.  And that same person might also be at Celtic fest, and they might ALSO be at the Slyfox Can Jam event...

See what I'm getting at?  If I missed this person... let's say, okay maybe she's not the love of my life, but let's just say it's a girl that I could date.  Which would be great.  I'd settle for just someone to date and have someone to actually get excited about when I think of her or she texts me.

I mean that would be awesome.

No one gets excited in online dating.  They are all just angry and mean.  And getting responses from online dating site girls is like pulling teeth.  It's a terrible experience really.  Just horrific.

But... At events... You friend up people on Facebook.  You buy each other drinks.  You eat and drink and be merry.  And who knows, maybe we will have gone to 5 or 10 different events or the same events and it takes that long to finally be standing next to one another and strike up a conversation.

The real world is just so much better than online dating when you are single and 33...

My other thing is... Let's say... Dating aside... Let's say I just don't meet anyone.  Okay whatever, that would suck but okay...

My other plan is, when you go out EVERY night and post it all over Facebook publicly... And invite people to come hang out with you... you get a following.  My other sort of idea lately is... To kind of just become an events person.  Maybe I'll start coordinating things to do in Philly groups.  I mean, I've gotten pretty good at finding stuff to do.

It's interesting though, if you ask people to do stuff... they might say okay.  They might agree.  They might make plans even.  But they most likely won't.  People are terribly unreliable.  Just like online dating.  Always breaking plans.  Ghosting.  No explanations.  No one cares.  It's sad really.  No one really has any level of commitment.

Instead, I just go.  I just go places.  I post it on Facebook.  I tell everyone... I plan to be here on this date at this time.  Come meet me there.  At first no one did.  But it's weird, people are starting to meet me.  It's like... They know that reliably when I say I'll be somewhere at an event of some sort.  You bet your bottom dollar that I'll be at that event!

I keep my word.  I'm not a flake ... Unlike the dating site girls that I message back and forth with on the online dating world.  All flakes.  None of them care.  None of them have any level of commitment or interest.  It's a joke really.  Online dating just sucks.

But going to events, like tomorrow night's Nightscape and drinking a few beers while I'm there?  You bet I'm going to strike up a conversation with someone.

On Saturday night I went out to Independence Beer Garden with my friend Justin.  It was interesting to learn a few "game" pointers from him.  He does this thing where he just breaks into conversations.  See I'm usually reserved.  I don't like to talk to people I don't know unless there's like... An excuse.

What I saw on Saturday night was flawless game play.  I was amazed.  I was taking notes.  He just broke into conversations.  And instead of apologizing, like I do, or withdrawing after a few comments when they kind of give the body language of "Okay?  And you are?"... He did this thing where he held his ground and kept talking more.  But what I saw next blew me away...

The girls at the bar AT FIRST did that "Uhhhhhh why are you talking to us?" kind of.. Defenses up thing... This is where I usually go quiet and turn away... But what happened instead of them putting their hand up and going "pshhhhhh... What EVER!  Talk to the hand."  And then sipping their drinks and turning their backs to us.

Instead they started to become okay with us.  The key is to crack a few jokes right away.  Jokes off the bat.  And don't back down.  Just get in there and steal the conversation for a good minute or two...

Then... One of the girls... Almost as if on queue, started playing with her hair.  That's when I knew we were in the group.

It's crazy how that works.  It's all about technique and knowing what to do in the situation.

Knowing that the whole... "Uhhhh excuse me... " thing is just an act that girls do initially... But the wall crumbles after about a minute.  You just have to keep at it.  I had no idea.

Also booze helps.  Early on in the night, it was harder... Later on in the night... All you had to do was stand next to someone and you'd instantly start chatting.

Now the only exception are the girls with boyfriends.  They are like wasps.  You try to talk to them and they sting.  They don't talk back.  The wall is up.  They don't want ANYTHING to do with you.

They are just waiting for their boyfriend to come back from another conversation or from the bathroom.  And then the two of them go off into the night.

Usually girls with boyfriends won't be in a group of 3 or 4 girls out at a bar though.  It does happen.  But usually if you approach a group of 3 or 4 girls... They are mostly all single.  And out for the night...

Because if they HAD a boyfriend, they would be home Netflixing and ordering take out with their boyfriend.  But let's be honest... The real reason we're ALL out till the bars close... Is because we're looking to meet that special someone.  We're looking to meet that last first kiss that ends in marriage.

I mean, that's MOSTLY why I'm doing ALL these events.  I'm just hoping to get better at breaking into conversations and just talking up a storm until the wall crumble and the girl is like... "You know, at first I wasn't sure about him when he first started talking to me... But then I realized... This guy is a keeper for sure."

So, I'm just looking for a girl that will finally tell all her friends and post on social media about how I'm a keeper.  And then it will hopefully go all the way to that whole marriage thing.

Just have to keep going out night after night and jam packing my plans full of activities.

I'm bound to cross paths with that special someone at some point.  All these people that got married have stories just like mine.  They were having trouble finding someone and having trouble dating... And then it happened and they met them just like that.

So who knows... Maybe "the one" will be at this food truck thing on Saturday.  You never know!  Or maybe she'll be at Nightscape tomorrow night.  Or any one of the many other events that I have on the horizon.

Just have to keep hoping that out there someone is a girl that will consider me a keeper and post all kinds of stuff on social media about "hanging out with the boy"  or "date night with my boyfriend tonight!" and stuff like that.  And then I can buy her flowers and do all that cute boyfriend stuff for her.  And make her romantic dinners at home and such.

But one thing I know for sure after all this time?  She's not on a dating site.  I've done online dating to know.  She's not on a dating site.  I'm going to meet her in real life.  And we're going to have a real life "how I met her" story.  Because the girls on online dating sites are just... Impossible.  Flakey.  Fickle.  Impossible.  They don't respond and when they do, the answers are curt and mostly rude and... it's just not a pleasant experience.  Online dating just sucks.

Real world events with copious amounts of beer or wine though?  Doesn't suck.

Anyways... So... I'll just say a silent little wish tonight and each and every night before I go to bed that one day, hopefully soon, I'll meet that one girl.  That one girl that I'll get excited about and finally not be let down when it ends.  Because it won't end.  We'll keep going.  We'll go from seeing each other, to dating... To us telling the whole world we love one another... To us married.

I just have to keep hope that it will happen one day and I'll find her.  Because I just know she's out there.

Filed under: Stuffs No Comments
16Aug/160

Pet Store

Today I went to the pet store after work.  I loaded up on more cat food.  Another bag of dry food and cans of the usual wet food.  Just for kicks I decided to grab a can of whitefish because Curio was a little fussy with her food last last night and this morning.  Good thing I did!  Curio usually eats the chicken and lamb flavor and Fluff eats the turkey flavor.

Well... Curio absolutely refused to eat chicken and lamb tonight for dinner.  SO, I put down the whitefish and she chowed it down like there was no tomorrow.  I guess tomorrow I'll be running to the pet store again to exchange the chicken and lamb for whitefish.  Although, Fluff licked her bowl after she was done... SO I might have to exchange it all for whitefish.  These cats are always changing their flavor pallets.

I mean, I'd get sick of the eating the same food too every day if I had to eat it every single day.  Anyways... that's the latest with the cats.  Always keeping me on my toes.

While I was in the pet store Daylight by Maroon 5 came on.  Daylight.  It made me think, I wonder if she's buying cat food for her cats and having the same taste change issue that I'm having.  Does Daylight come on in the pet store for her?  What if it's a linked system... and so ALL the Pet Valu pot stores play the same songs at all times.  And what if there's a pet value down in Florida.  And what if she was also getting more cat food for her cats... And she heard the same song playing at the same time.  And thought... Daylight.

Daylight.

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go...

Who knows right?

Pet food.  Cats.  Daylight.  In a pet store.  And when the daylight comes I'll have to go... buy more cat food for these cats because they changed their mind and don't like the old flavor of cat food and want to eat a different flavor.

Speaking of Daylight I played a show on Monday night.  It was fun!  I want to play more shows.  Unfortunately my friend that booked me is not going to be organizing/booking any more shows and is instead trying to get into playing shows herself and playing music herself.

I'm going to keep practicing as much as I was practicing before the show.  Here's the thing...

When I don't have any shows lined up... I don't play a lot.  Like, I'll practice maybe 2 songs a night.  I cycle through my list of songs that I've written... Some are covers too.  One of them is Daylight.  I just keep it in my covers lists just because I don't know why... I just do I guess.

Anyways... As I play only a few songs a night... The songs sound okay, but they don't shine.  They don't really shimmer and sound super great.  When you focus in on a handful of songs and play ALL those songs EVERY night for a week straight, or more.... They start to sound really polished.  They start to sound WAY better than just playing that song once every 3 or 4 weeks.  See my list of practice songs that I play live is about 40 or so songs long.

When I play live I make a playlist of only maybe 6 to 8 songs.  Then I focus on those songs and practice those songs.  Each time I play live I switch up the songs.  Even if it's just an open mic and I play 2 or 4 songs.

So I think what I'm going to do instead is keep a good 5 to 10 songs on rapid rehearsal and get really good at those 5 or 10 songs.  Then I'll take my other songs in and out of rotation... A lot like a radio station works.

A better live performance means I'm more likely to get more shows.  And also more fans.  If I can play a good half a dozen or a dozen songs REALLY well, that means I can play shows on a shorter notice.  And I can also play shows with out lyrics in front of me... Which is the key.  See, if I go a little while without practicing my songs, or sometimes I don't get much of a change to practice... I start to forget lyrics.  It's a problem I've had since day one.

As long as I keep them fresh... I keep them in my memory.  So I'm changing my practice routine to 'always being ready for a show' mode with a good maybe 5 or 10 songs ready for action and can be played without any lyrics in front of me.  Then I'll maybe once or twice a week sub out one song and sub in another.  And then when I get to the end of the rotation I'll practice a couple of songs that aren't in on heavy rotation.

So, we'll see how that goes.  Keep the crowd pleasers, practice those often... And practice the songs that don't quite get the greatest response less frequently.

Anyways... That's my pet food story.  And my Daylight story.  It had been a while since I heard Daylight come on.  Every now and then I'll be out at a bar, or I'll be in the grocery store... Or in this case the pet store... And it will come on.  And then I'll be like... That girl.  That one girl that the song Daylight reminds me of.

Oh, so after the pet store, I went to go help a coworker that retired recently from the college with a computer issue.  She had called asking me for help.  So, I was like sure I'll swing by and fix the problem.  Her husband was my elementary school gym teacher.  He was there too.  We shook hands and it was just like when he shook my hand to congratulate me after winning the chin up competition in 4th grade all over again.

Filed under: Stuffs No Comments