Things That All Boyfriends Should Be Doing
I've decided to make a list of things that boyfriends out there should be doing for their girlfriends.
I'm probably going to revise this, or rather, post multiple editions of it as I think of more things... So, this is just a rough draft.
Here's what ALL boyfriends should be doing...
- Tell their girlfriends they look beautiful. Not just when they are all dressed up fancy, but just even when they are in their downtime clothing hanging out on the couch.
- Hold hands in public. Totally.
- Buy them their favorite flower, or maybe candle scent. Or soap scent... Randomly. Without being asked.
- Make a random nice dinner for them. Without being asked.
- Clean their apartment. Including their bathroom and kitchen. Just offer to do it! If she says no she says no... But just be like... "So, I was thinking, maybe I could clean your apartment for you one Saturday morning? I'll make you breakfast and you can watch all your favorite Netflix shows while I clean. Yeah?" She might say no. But she'll appreciate the offer.
- Plan a picnic in the park.
- Tell her every day a new reason why you think she's the coolest. This should last for 100 days.
- Take her to the theater. Rent a limo. And a tux. Show up at her apartment and just be like... We're going on a fine evening out. Dinner, and the theater.
- Always be super kind and caring and compassionate. Speak nicely to her and respectfully at all times. Never say anything mean. Ever. Never ever. Just be that gentleman. You know the one. The old time movies, and the fairytale esk type of guy.
- Listen to her. Just tell her that you want to listen to what her thoughts and opinions are.
- Never fight with her. Never fight her. Girls are always right. ALWAYS.
- Just be there for her. All the time. Even if you get a 3am phone call. Wake up. And go be with her. She's more important than sleep.
- She's more important than anything that you can think of. All of your personal hobbies, or free time activities take a second seat to her.
- Do whatever it takes to make her smile. She should smile and laugh a lot.
- She should be gushing about you to everyone she knows and everyone she meets. If she's not singing your name from the treetops... You're not doing enough. Do more. And after you've done more. Do even more.
- Do more. And after you've done more, do even more. And after you've done even more, do even more than that... Repeat.
- Pay attention to everything she ever says. Take notes. Refer back to the notes. Know every favorite thing she ever mentioned. Favorite pair of shoes, favorite dress, favorite place, favorite food, favorite flower, favorite color, favorite book, favorite movie, favorite restaurant, favorite vacation destination, favorite song, favorite album, favorite band, favorite house that she drives by and every time she drives by it she points out how cute it is and that she wants a house like that some day.
- Buy her that house as soon as you can afford it.
- Buy her the house even if you can't afford it.
- Buy her things even if you can't afford them.
- Write her little cute notes.
- Ask her what she wants you to do, then do it. This goes for anything. Sometimes all you have to do it just ask. She'll tell you. Don't play games.
- Don't play games.
- Don't cheat. Don't you EVER cheat! No guy should cheat, ever. There's no need for that crap. Just don't do it!
- Maker her feel like she's the luckiest girl in the world.
- Post statuses publicly on your social media about her and how lucky you are.
- Make her something. Even if you have no creative bones in your body. Make her something handmade. Or homemade. Anything. And include a little love note.
Okay, that's all I have for now. It's a list in progress. But I think that list works for now as a list of things all boyfriends should be doing. I'm open to suggestions/changes/things to remove/add... etc. etc.
I feel like that's a pretty good list to start with though.
If I Had A Girlfriend
So I was thinking about last night's post. About the whole cleaning Kara's apartment part. And I was thinking... You know, if I were her boyfriend... Or any other girl's boyfriend.
I'd do all that crap in a heartbeat without hesitation. I'd clean, make her bed, and wash up dishes and make sure everything was nice and neat for her. I'd definitely cook dinners. I'd go out of my way to buy some nice smelling candles and maybe some flowers here and there to spruce up the place. I'd just basically go above and beyond the call of boyfriend duties.
I feel like all boyfriends should do this for their girlfriends. They should want to "pamper" them so to speak. Because, if you don't, there's always another guy that will.
So yeah. I mean, I'd basically live to pamper my girlfriend. That would be a top priority. Doing stuff for her. Making her feel special. Like... Always giving her stuff to post about on Facebook and Instagram.
"Boyfriend got me _____"
"I have the best boyfriend ever. He did _____"
You get the idea. Basically it would be my job to spoil her. And constantly try to one up myself to make her feel like she basically won the lottery by dating me.
That's my goal for the girl that I date next. Being a boyfriend is like kind of a job, and there are specific job duties. And as a boyfriend the guy should be super passionate about it. He should love doing things for her. Running errands for her. Or solving problems for her. Helping her move. Helping her with anything she needs.
No guy should ever fight with the girl either. He should just basically be agreeable and on board with what it is that she wants and the way she wants it done.
But yeah. I mean just be there for the girl, and always be supportive and always make her feel like she made the exact right choice by letting this guy be her boyfriend over any other guy out there. That by being with me she definitely found a real winner/keeper. That she definitely found one of the best guys on the planet and she constantly has things to tell her friends and family about how amazing he is to her.
Obviously I guess I have to meet a girl first for that to happen. But, when that finally does happen. I'll just constantly keep at it to be the most caring and compassionate guy she's ever met. To always try harder and harder to one up myself in how well I can treat her and how special I can make her feel.
Freaky Friday, or Freaky Wednesday?
Okay, so... I'm driving home from tonight's play, which was AWESOME by the way. It's my next-door neighbor's play, well, he wrote it. And this super cool dude named Dice Raw did the music for it. I hung out with Dice and friends and Phil tonight and... They're awesome.
Anyways... SO I'm driving home from the play.
And I had this very strange thought out of nowhere. I thought... Okay. So, I think about Kara ALL the time. But we don't talk. And I WISH we did talk. But we don't. Oh well... It's fine. I'm okay with it. Really I'm COMPLETELY okay with it. It's just how things turned out.
BUT... I had this thought... What if there were a way we could talk. And then I'm thinking of ways, or reasons, why we would talk.
This one reason pops into my mind...
Freaky Friday. If you've never seen the movie Freaky Friday, what happens is, there are basically two people that switch bodies. In the movie it's a mom and a daughter.
I KNOW... I KNOW! I THINK OF THE STRANGEST THINGS. So, I'm all like... What if Kara and I woke up tomorrow in each other's bodies... SO basically, bodies switched. She's in mine and I'm in hers.
WHAT THE?!?!?!?!? We'd HAVE no choice but to call each other. I mean I'm just imagining that scenario. Here I wake up, alarm going off...
"Oh man... time for work... wait a minute. That's not my alarm."
I open my eyes...
"Okay... SERIOUSLY.... WHAT THE HECK IS THIS!"
I start to realize something is SERIOUSLY not right with this situation. I'm DEFINITELY not in my own bed. I'm definitely not... oh HELL NO. I'm not my own ANYTHING.
Meanwhile, while I'm down in the greater Miami area waking up in another body, she's up in the greater Philadelphia area also waking up in another area.
"Oh for fucks sake." She utters.
Okay. How the heck do we fix this cluster fuck, she thinks.
So here we are switched. She's in my body. I'm in hers. Great. Just great.
Now we have to figure out a way to switch things back.
You bet your bottom the first thing I'm going to do is call my own cell phone from her cell phone.
I dial my number and wait for... "Me" to pick up.
"Kara?"
"Yes."
"What the HELL!"
"I don't know!"
"ME EITHER!"
"OH MY GOD!"
After the initial shock wears off...
"Okay well, we're going to have to figure this out after work." I say to her.
"WHAT!???!?!?!?"
"Just, act cool."
"ACT COOL!?!?!" She says. "ACT COOL!?!?!?!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ACT COOL!?!??! I'M YOU!"
I explain to her how I made a wish out of curiosity for this to happen because I didn't believe that wishes or prayers to God were actually answered.
Then she says... "What the fuck Kenny??? Of course God answers prayers!"
"Sorry! I didn't know! I missed you and it was the only thing I could think of to get us to call each other."
"So you wished for us to switch bodies???!!??! WHAT THE HECK. That's some crazy shit!"
So there we are on the phone with one another standing in front of mirrors looking at each other.
"Let me get this straight. You want me to go to work, as you, and go to work, and pretend to be you for for the day, and then we'll figure this out later on tonight?"
I shrug. "Yeah? Something like that."
"Oaf." She responds. "You better have a fix for this by then."
"Don't worry. I'll figure something out." I assure Kara. I'm set on trying to reverse this because who knew that body switching was legit a real thing?
Meanwhile my only solution that I actually come up with is to watch the movie Freaky Friday on Netflix and figure out what they did to reverse the body swap situation. So after work... Which I'm not exactly sure how one earth me make it through 8 hours of doing one another's jobs. But for the sake of this blog post, some how we make it through.
So I'm sitting in her apartment watching Freaky Friday on Netflix.
Then she tells me that usually after work she does laundry, organizes every square inch and cleans her whole apartment with a toothbrush.
Which, I'm suspect of, but I proceed to start that process. After cleaning her whole apartment spic and span floor to ceiling and organizing all of her shoes and ironing all of her dresses...
"Wait a minute. Kara. Seriously, why do I get the feeling that you don't do this every night after work?"
"Honestly! I swear. Every night after work this is my routine." Kara responds over the phone.
"Really?"
"Yep. On my honor. I do all of this. I also do the following..."
She proceeds to tell me over the phone a whole list apartment project 'To-Do list' items that she apparently takes care of on a nightly basis.
"Okay, so finish all those Kenny and call me, or you, back when you, err I mean, I, get those done."
Meanwhile she proceeds to lounge around my own house here in PA and sits for a couple hours on the phone with her sister Laurel, and her mom, Robin, and a few of her other friends... Telling them how she's got me cleaning her own apartment top to bottom.
And of course her mom and sister and other friends find it a little strange at first that they are actually talking to me. But after about 15 minutes on the phone they get used to it.
So, good for her that body switching isn't a real thing! Good for me that I don't have to clean her apartment floor to ceiling. Although, I probably wouldn't hesitate to do that for her bodies switched or not.
More Singles Events
So, I kind of want to find more singles events. 30 something singles groups. Not SPECIFICALLY to date... Just 30 year olds that are also single. And we hang out. We do stuff, like happy hours and things. And then maybe sparks fly organically. The online dating thing is just... It doesn't work. Online dating just does not work. I mean, maybe it works for some... But for me at least? I've only ever met one person. That's it. ONE person that I've been like YES. I'm COMPLETELY and TOTALLY interested in this girl... Kara, obviously.
I'd love to go on another date like that where I was just like a totally yes completely 100 percent from day one.
But, other than her?
Dating sites just haven't worked for me.
I feel like a singles group might be a better way to meet someone. Even if I don't meet someone AT the group, maybe I meet a friend who knows someone who they invite out one time and then I start talking with that person. Sometimes that's how it goes. Sometimes you're friends with people and then they introduce you to another friend who introduces you to that person that you end up marrying.
I mean ultimately you don't know who you're going to marry or how you will meet them until you finally do meet them. But before that you can't predict where or when or how.
I think it would be interesting to start asking people that are married or in relationships how they met and then just for the heck of it start doing those things. Obviously what worked for one person won't work for another. But it might be good for just passing the time until I do meet that one that matters. That forever. That one that I end up sharing the rest of my life with.
I mean, at this point, even though I WANT someone to end in marriage with... I'd be willing to just date someone just to date them. Like, we have to agree that we won't way "I love you" unless we mean it.
But that's my biggest issue. I'll date anyone. But what if I get another Kara situation where I tell her that I love her and she says back... "I think I'm in like with you?" That's what happened with Kara. I guess the opposite could happen. I could date a girl... And we date for a while, 6 months and then she finally tells me she loves me for the first time, but I don't feel that way back. So I don't say it back.
I guess that's why relationships are hard. Sometimes you date someone for 6 months or a year even. And then one person says... "I love you". And the other person? They just say nothing back.
And they just stare at the other person blankly...
"Well say something!"
"I'm hungry?"
"What?"
"Are you hungry? Do you want to get food? I'm hungry."
"Really? I tell you I love you for the first time in our relationship and that's all you have to say back? I don't even know what to say to you right now."
Then you have to figure out okay, how long do you wait, how much more time do you give the person before you break it off. I feel like if you don't say "I love you" after a year together. You're never going to say it.
You know what I've never done though? I've never done the just sex thing. Apparently that's what Tinder is supposed to be used for. I say in my profile that I want a relationship, so I get messages that are like... "Is your profile a joke?"
Literally the last Tinder message I got was asking me if my profile was a joke.
I said "no why?" And she said...
"Tinder isn't for relationships. It's for booty calls."
So, maybe that's why I can't seem to find someone? Maybe I'm doing it wrong? Maybe I'm supposed to just start with sex and take it from there. Then after a few months of sex we start actually saying we're official? Maybe that's where love comes from... Sex. Maybe it's as simple as that. Have sex with someone for long enough and you'll eventually end up in a relationship. All you have to do is have sex on a regular basis... A few times a week or something.
And eventually... You'll fall in love.
I feel like the answer to that is no. But... Maybe that's a better solution to all this dating stuff?
I don't know anymore. I just hate the way I feel when I'm at a party and it's all people that are married. And they are like "So why aren't you married?"
Got me. I have no idea. I mean I'm not married because... I don't know... the only girl I've ever fallen totally head over for never fell back for me.
And I still don't have it in me to just date someone I don't have genuine feelings for. I just couldn't see myself being married to someone that I had reservations about. That I wasn't ALL in. That I wasn't like... In our wedding photos you could just TELL we were in love. I don't want to look at the wedding pictures and be like... Wait a minute... You're not even LOOKING at me during the ceremony.
And then she's like why? And I'm like... I don't know. I just wasn't.
And then every few years she brings it up joking and finally one night at a married couples party she jokes about it one last time and I say...
"Its' because I don't love you! I'm NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU! That's why? There. Are you happy? I said it. The reason why I'm NOT looking at you in that photo is because I was thinking about someone else. Because I don't love you."
And the whole room goes silent.
Or the reverse could happen. I could end up with someone that wasn't 100 percent about me. And then years later she's just like...
"Because I'm in love with someone else okay! Jesus effing Christ. I'm NOT in love with you. I NEVER WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU! That's why I'm looking away in the wedding photo. Okay? There. Are you happy? Now get the hell over it and move the fuck on about the god damn wedding photo!"
And the whole room goes silent.
And someone drops their glass of red wine all over a brand new carpet. Mouths gape open.
So, anyways, I'd rather just go hang out with other singles so we can just be like... Why aren't you married? Who cares. None of us are! And we cheers and clink glasses to being single together at a happy hour event.
Show Matches Anywhere
Every now and then I put my OKCupid settings to show me matches anywhere. You know just out of curiosity.
Then I just click a bunch of profiles and browse them just to see if people in other parts of the world are different from the matches where I live.
I then have to get ready for the millions of messages that I get. Okay, not millions, but I always get a good number. Sometimes I respond. Sometimes I don't.
"WHY DO YOU LIVE SO FAR AWAY! You have the most awesome profile ever."
One person sent me tonight.
I wouldn't say it's that awesome. When I browse local matches I barely get a response.
Every now and then I get one. But it's few and far between.
But this one girl from Pomona, California seems interesting.
I've mostly given up on dating sites these days. I just login for entertainment I guess.
I mean dating in general is kind of hopeless. I just don't see myself getting married. Don't get me wrong, I WANT to get married. But... Well... the problem is, whenever i like someone... they don't like me back. I mean I liked Kara 100 percent... And she just never was that into me. I guess she tried to make herself like me. But ultimately... I just wasn't good enough for her.
I actually went on a date Friday night. It was okay I guess. We just had some beers and chatted. She's nice. I don't know if she's my type. Although maybe I'm not her type either. That's kind of the thing about dating when you're 33, and she's 34. I think we're at the point where you just go on a date with someone because they said yes.
Because the dating pool is soo slim and hopeless at this point that... If someone DOES agree to a date you jump on it. You could be not attracted to them at all and have nothing in common. But heck... They said yes to a date! In your 30s, that's kind of how dating works. You just take what you can get.
And then you just kind of try to sit there across from the person... maybe if I drink one more beer? Maybe if I just keep going on dates with her? I don't know. Somehow maybe I can convince myself to fall in love with this girl?
I'm still kind of not sure exactly what magic spell Kara had to make me want her so much. I've still yet to meet a girl with that kind of power over me.
I highly doubt I'll ever meet another girl that will be able to do to my heart and mind and everything what she did. She was something else.
So these days it's more... I go on first dates... And pretty much I just go on whoever says yes. Really it's just an excuse to have someone to sit and drink a beer with and have a conversation with. I don't really have any preferences these days. As long as you say yes to a date after going back and forth on the site for 10 or 20 messages back and forth...
I'm down. I mean... I guess... there's the possibility that love could spark. But... Seriously people, I give up on ever actually finding someone to post selfies on Facebook with and have my Facebook actually say I'm "in a relationship" with that person.
It's just how it is. I'm single... and I probably will be for life. And I'll probably just keep going on first dates here and there. Probably getting less and less frequent. As I climb into my 40s and then 50s and 60s... Every now and then I might get a first date. I'll probably join some singles club. And who knows. Go on a single cruise.
But... I just definitely give up on the whole getting married some day thing. I just can't imagine actually feeling that way for someone and having her feel it back. That much mutual love that we decide that we want to get married?
That's crazy talk. I don't know. I WISH... But I'm also practical. So I just keep going on these first dates from OKCupid or Bumble or Tinder. Or what have you. I just keep not expecting anything to come out of it, because in the end, I know nothing will. I know that I'm just never going to feel the kind of sparks that I felt for Kara. She just had some sort of magical ability... I'd LOVE to find that agin in someone else...
But I doubt it will ever happen.
So for now when I run dry of matches locally.... I change it to show matches anywhere and I click on those and wait for them to send me a message about how good of a profile I have. Which I know isn't true, because if I DID have that good of a profile... I wouldn't be single right now.
But it's just good entertainment at least.
God Hates Me
So, I've definitely just decided, that given all that has happened in my life... With my family and the trust, and losing my mom, and crossing paths with Kara (but never being able to get her)... Basically God has it out for me to torture me.
That's what I've decided. There's really NO other explanation that I can come up with as to why I've had to endure all these crappy things in my lifetime. God just hates me. Like, that is IF there even IS a God.
It's that whatever being is up there looking down... We're just daytime television for them. So they think it's fun to make our lives horrible. To watch us suffer. It's entertainment for whoever created the world and put all these people on this planet.
I've just decided that is the ONLY explanation as to why all this crappy stuff would happen. It has to be true. The idea that some "loving" God would create all the situations that I've been through? Thanks. But no thanks. If I met this "loving" God, I'd basically probably just be like what is wrong with you? That would be my only question that I would have.
What is wrong with you?
Seriously... I mean, because, it's just cruel and unusual and completely mean to decide to put someone through all this. So that's what I've decided.
I've also decided that while the going to church thing was an interesting experiment. Ultimately... I find more value in sleeping in.
So, I'm just done with that. The only way I'll get back in a church again, ever, is if I one day finally ended up with Kara and she got me to go again.
And I'm so sure that won't ever happen that, I'd be willing to bet ten grand that won't ever happen. I mean heck, I'd be willing to bet 100 grand that won't ever happen. Because if she ever had any intention of talking to me again... She would have already talked to me by now. So, I just consider her long gone and I'll never see or hear from her again in this lifetime.
I wonder who else will come into my life next. Who's going to be my next plot storyline for this daytime television life.
But anyways... I've seriously decided that we're daytime television for some kind of cruel being that decided to create us purely for entertainment purposes. I'm pretty sure that's what's actually going on and what the point of existence is.
More Proof
One of my good friends just posted this on Facebook as a status:
"Debit card information stolen. $400 ATM withdrawal followed by an $1800 charge at a Publix in Boca Raton. Kudos to PNC for realizing that if I were going to Boca Raton to spend a lot of money, I wouldn't do it in a Publix."
It just basically adds to my hatred of the state of Florida. God, I hate Florida SO MUCH. I really do. I REALLY hate it. With a passion. Never, EVER, EVER... Want to step foot in the state for the rest of my entire life.
The People You Meet
So, it's interesting... I've been emailing with the new trustee... There's things to setup. Stuff that we have to sign and what not. That's our end. We've been super helpful and quick to sign stuff and get it back. The new trustee rocks. Of course I've come to find out that he's from PA.
So that just adds to me liking him even more.
And then there's the other end of things...
The old trustee. The one that lives in Florida. I've just learned that he's not been very agreeable in letting the trust go. But, I'm not surprised. That's his style. Go kicking and screaming. So the new trustee is working through it. Better him than me. My thing is this...
Well, it just makes me appreciate the people that I do meet in my life that aren't like him. I mean, he's part of my life story. If I'd never met him, or rather if my grand parents had never met him... Well my life would certainly have been a lot different.
I guess for one, I might actually think Florida is an okay place. But because of the people I've met in life and the events that have occurred. I just don't think I'll ever go to Florida ever again in my lifetime. It seems silly. But I just have nothing but hate for that state, as soon as I would step off any plane I would just feel anger because of what has happened. I would just be filled with hate. I have nothing but hate running deep in my veins for Florida.
Maybe this is a little extreme of an example or a thing to say but... It's a bit like if you were raped would you back to the place where you got raped? Probably not. Would you want anything to do with the person that raped you? That harmed you. That caused you pain or anger? Nope. You'd never want to go back there. Because you'd feel nothing but hate as soon as you did.
It's kind of the equivalent of being monetarily raped via your family's wealth. I'm sure it happens a lot. I'm sure people try to do things to other people to control their assets and they do everything they can until the bitter end. It's just how people are. It's why the courts are filled with cases. There's probably just TONS of cases of one person screwing over another person.
Instead of the person just being like oh... I guess I'm doing something with my actions that is making someone else upset, or hurting someone else, or causing pain or anger. Maybe I should change what I'm doing so that I don't upset that person anymore.
Yeah, ya think? But there are good and bad people everywhere. (I just feel like PA has more good people on average)
This is one of the reasons why I've always just been so skeptical on the whole God thing. I just can't imagine a God sitting there watching this whole trust situation and then sitting back in a leather chair up in the offices of God tapping tips of fingers together, think Mr. Burns from The Simpsons, and looking out the window, "Excellent. Ah yes, everything is going exactly according to my plan. People are getting screwed nicely." Or then the God assistant is like... "Oh what's that over there on that part of the planet?" And the God turns to a girl get raped. And saying... "This is all part of my plan".
I mean how? Really? REALLY? That's part of your plan? That's terrible!
"God see's all things at all time."
So, he's seen every instance of rape... and done nothing to stop it?
I'm sorry for the profanity but THAT'S FUCKED UP!
I mean I just can't stomach that. I can't. At all.
It's so hard to believe that.
So my heart goes out to anyone that's ever had anyone basically take something of another person's. Be it tangible physical things, or monetary things... Or something like rape. Where they take the person down to feeling completely powerless and worthless.
Good plan God, good plan.
I get it, there are people that believe otherwise and hey, if you can manage it without questioning it... Hey, you do you. But I have questions. I have hesitations. I have reservations.
Do people that do bad or horrific things know they are doing it? Do they stop and say... Oh snap... I really am causing someone else pain. I need to stop what I'm doing and change my actions.
So anyways... That's the latest with the trust stuff. Just waiting. Hopefully it will all get resolved one day. The good news is I won't ever take the money I eventually get and spend it all on a trip to Disney World. In fact I'll NEVER go to Disney World because I'll never again step foot in Florida. Because the moment I would step off the plane... I would feel as though I'm being raped. I would feel nothing but anger and hatred until I was flying back to PA.
I mean hey maybe some day some how someone might change my mind. But I don't see it happening. I see myself having nothing but hate for Florida until my dying day.
I just can't imagine any reason to have any kind of fond feelings for Florida in my future. To me? It's my least favorite place on the planet, without a doubt, without reservation or hesitation.
And it's all because of the people I've met and the events that have occurred.
Rio
So tonight I was the last to leave the party. That's kind of how my life is lately. See all the other people at the party were married or married with kids. They have to go be responsible parents and what not.
Apparently, according to some middle aged married guy with kids... "I've got it made".
And according to another couple they can't understand how I'm still single. They are going to pray for me to find someone.
So according to the one middle aged guy... He's like telling me that I should go to Rio for the olympics.
His opening statement was "How much debt do you have?"
I told him I have none. I told him I have "Significant savings".
He was like... So you could buy a plane ticket to Rio for the olympics. I'm like "Yeah. I could if I wanted to." He's like, "You should do that."
He basically made it seem like being married and having kids is some kind of burden. I'm thinking in my head... You know, it's not like anyone FORCED people to get married or have kids. I mean, I'm single... I have no kids.. I just haven't met anyone (besides Kara) that I could see myself getting down on one knee and popping a ring out and asking if she'd marry me. I don't know, there's just no one that I've been THAT taken with (besides Kara) enough that I could see myself sharing my life with.
I do my own thing. I just go places, I stay out late. I do whatever I want when I want and how I want. There's no one else but me at this point in my life. And, I guess I've kind of realized I sort of like it. It's not bad. I mean... I live alone in a 4 bedroom house. I don't have to fight for some parking spot that's supposed to be reserved but someone else stole it...
If I come home and someone else is in my drive way... I can call the local police department and get their car towed away. Private property. And I own it. You park on my property and you get towed away.
I don't have some person stomping around upstairs making a ton of noise above me in an apartment.
I own the upstairs and the downstairs. I own it all. I can make all the noise I want. At any hour of the morning or night. Or I can make no noise.
I mean, if I wanted to I could book a flight to Rio. I could book a hotel. I could do whatever the heck I want. Because I'm single and don't have kids or a wife. Honestly... It's not as bad as I once thought it was.
All these married people I meet look at me like I'm some kind of golden child blessed chosen one.
I mean, really? Married life CAN'T be THAT bad. I'd give ANYTHING to meet that one love of my life and live with her and have kids with her. Instead it's just me and this house and these cats and the soon to be money that I'll be receiving in the near future.
I go out, I mingle, I close down the karaoke bar (last night) and close down the garden party (tonight).
I can stay out as late as I want because I don't have kids to put to bed. I don't have to stop mid conversation and pull out my phone and say "Oh, I'm sorry I have to get this, it's my wife calling."
It's just me.
One of the couples, the mom, was like "I don't get why you're single".
I felt like saying "because I met Kara and she didn't want me back, and I've yet to meet anyone else that sparks my heart as much as her."
Instead, because it's too much to explain to someone, I just shrug and say... "I guess I just haven't met the one yet."
This one lady is going to try to match me up with someone. I like... "Have at it."
We'll see what she comes up with. She basically did an inventory of what I have to offer.
She's like.... Let me get this straight...
-You own your own house.
Yes.
-You have a full time salaried job with benefits.
Yes.
-You have a car.
Yes.
-You are actively looking for someone to date and be in a relationship with.
Yes.
-You have a trust fund.
Yes.
-You have interesting and unique hobbies, you write music and you're working on a book.
Yes and yes.
-You have great social skills. You've been chatting up everyone at this party tonight. You seem to go out a lot to a lot of different social functions.
Yep.
-You seem well educated, you listen to iTunes U courses from Yale!
Mmm hmm... and Stanford, and MIT, and Harvard... etc. etc.
-I don't understand why you're single.
Me neither. I just haven't me 'the one' I guess.
She said that she's going to pray for me and try to help me find that one.
I said... Sounds good to me!
The other guy wants me to go to Rio to the olympics. He seems to think that I'll find a girl there.
My thing is... I'll just meet her when I meet her. My next event is my neighbor's play. So I'll head out to that. After that I have a few other events planned.
See, dating is entirely a numbers game. It's 100 percent pure luck. When you meet that special someone you meet them. An until then you have old married people trying to give you advice. Which is 100 percent useless. Because dating is 100 percent luck. That person that you click with has to cross your paths. There's no rhyme or reason to it. You can't CREATE sparks. You can't MAKE love happen.
Either you feel something for someone that you meet... Of you don't. And until you meet that person... You can't feel anything.
Unti then you just go out and come home late. You close down the bar. You chat with everyone and anyone because any conversation could be a lead to that person that you one day meet and marry.
I have NO idea when I'll meet the girl that I marry. She could be sitting next to me on a flight somewhere. She could be sitting next to me at some coffee shop. She could be friends with someone that's friends with someone I know and get invited to a party or a show and then we get introduced and that's all it takes. Then we become inseparable.
So why am I not married yet at 33? I just haven't crossed paths with that one special girl. I mean, to ME, I would have married Kara in a heart beat without hesitation. But to her? She had all kinds of hesitation. I wasn't her "one". I was just some guy that she crossed paths with... But I wasn't that one special one that made her heart skip a beat. She was to me... But that doesn't matter because both people have to be like that to one another. IF you only have one day love... Things don't work out.
So, I have to keep waiting until that path is crossed and that one girl walks into my life. That one girl that just completely and absolutely takes me by storm.
And maybe I THINK Kara was all that and a bag of chips... But maybe the next girl that I meet... She might be all that and 2 bags of chips and a Wawa hoagie, and Wawa mac and cheese. And then on top of that I also get a 10 dollar Wawa gift card and a Wawa coffee.
And then I'll just be like WOW. This girl is AMAZING!
But until then the closest thing I have to ever feeling so ga ga in love that I would have married the person is Kara. But I'm sure there's someone else out there that will take my heart by storm 10 fold.
Just have to keep doing things and keep busy until it happens.
I think it's just funny the stuff people say at parties. I mean what's my hurry? I'm 33. I could stay single for another 5 years and still end up getting married at 38 and having a kid at 40. I mean, I don't see the rush for any of that. Sure I'd love to meet that special someone tomorrow... but it's beyond my control. I can't decide when she'll walk into my life. It could be tomorrow, or it could be 5 years from now.
So for now... I'm just a single guy that lives alone and is the last to leave the party. Life isn't a race. I don't care... I'm single, I live alone in a house (with no mortgage on it) I drive a car (with no car payment), I work a full time job, I have interesting hobbies like writing music and books, I have a 7 figure trust fund with my name on it...
And when I meet her... I'll meet her. And I'll get married when it happens. And I'll have kids when it happens. For now.. I come home and I have a couple scoops of ice cream straight out of the container because everything in the fridge and freezer is mine and I don't have roommates or anyone else to share or ask permission from.
it's just me. And honestly? It's not so bad.
And maybe I'll go to Rio for the olympics and maybe I won't. Or maybe I'll just keep living life day to day and doing whatever is next on my little "local events" around town list.
I don't know what's going to happen or what tomorrow will bring. All I know is that I just have to keep hoping that I cross paths with that special someone. Just like so many other's have had happen to them. I mean, think about the person you are with? Imagine if you'd just never crossed paths. Who else would you be with right now? Anyone? No one? How would that change your life if you had never crossed paths with your current girlfriend or boyfriend or husband or wife?
Is there any other person that you have met or have known that you could see yourself with? Because the whole key to the entire dating or falling in love or getting married process is 100 percent just luck. You have to be in the right place at the right time.
That's what it all relies on. There's no magic skill that someone can have. There's no way to make yourself fall in love with just any old person.
It's just 100 percent luck of crossing paths with that person in the first place.
Otherwise you'd be with someone else that you met before the person you are with and you would have just "made yourself" fall in love with that previous person. But even people that tried to make themselves fall in love... that never ends well. They might THINK they are in love.... They might even get married for a short while... But then they end up going through the painful process of getting divorced.
So, I'll just keep crossing my fingers hoping for that luck to enter my life and help me meet that 1 girl. That one special girl.
For now... Croquet part was good! Minus the fact that the future love of my life wasn't at the party. But besides that minor detail? It was a great party!
Oh and the party was to raise money for the MS bike city to shore event. So, a lot of money was raised. Which is pretty awesome. So, like I said, minus the whole, still not meeting the love of my life thing.... It was an awesome night!
Tis The Season, Garden Party Season
This weekend is garden party/lawn party central. Well, I have two parties. One was yesterday/last night and then another is today.
I also went out to go do Karaoke with my friend Jess. So that was fun. It was Jess and a whole bunch of her friends too. It was a whole lot of fun. Jess moved to Florida but she was back in town for a night because of work.
Apparently she likes it down there... As she put it "I found myself a sweet souther boy" She said. She's like... "You have to move South and find yourself a sweet southern girl". I'm like, we'll see.
I'd love to find a girl, sweet southern or otherwise. Ideally I'd like to just find someone that lives nearby, but that's kind of why love is so strange and weird and mysterious and finds you when it does and the way it does. You can't predict or control love. When you find someone... You just find them. And they could live ANYWHERE in the world. Or when love finds you rather.
I have lots of friends that carried on relationships via Skype with someone that lived thousands of miles away. Logically you'd think, why not just go out and do things around town where you live and meet someone at a local Karaoke spot... Nope. Love has other plans. Love is going to make you meet someone that has entirely different music tastes, and lives halfway around the world, and likes entirely different kinds of foods and movies and has a totally different outlook on life.
You like spicy? They will like no spice. You like dark chocolate, they like milk. You like to have a small gathering in one on one, they like to have massive parties. You like comedy movies, they like action films.
It's just how it goes.
As of right now I have no plans to move south. I have no plans to move anywhere really unless some crazy good reason suddenly makes me move. When you own a house it makes you less likely to be mobile. Especially when there's no mortgage. And your job is 10 minutes away. Some of my friends that moved new places had like... An apartment and jobs they didn't really have any real attachment to, or jobs they hated. Obviously I've been at my job for 10 years now so and so it's just one of those things where it'd be tough to leave those people behind. My job as SUPER low turnover rate. Some of the people have been there 20 or 30 years... or more. People just stay. Plus I do things the way I like to do them. In my department... I basically oversee certain things and I deploy tech and manage tech the way that I see fit. I can listen to my tech podcasts and learn to things and ideas and come in to work the next day and can basically kick ideas around.
It's a level of safety. When you're on a team where you can basically just speak your mind and don't have to worry about backlash of any kind. That's a good work environment. Where you just can basically not be afraid to say you don't know something if you don't, or you can say, I think we should do this or that and you don't have any fear of possibly losing your job because of it.
Who knows, maybe a lot of work places are that way. But maybe not. That's kind of why I stay at my job and keep working at the camp as well for 2 weeks. It's just a fun environment.
Really the only issue I've ever had with this area is the dating thing. But I feel like even south, I'd probably still have trouble dating. Love finds you. You don't find it. When it's time for me... That one special girl will walk into my life. That forever girl will just show up and we'll both just never want to let each other get away. It will just happen like that.
So, for now I'm here and attending garden parties of my coworkers. Yesterday was fun, it was just like a never-ending cookout. There's just phases of food. People just keep throwing new things on to cook when one thing finishes. It was my direct coworker's party. So we work together in the same department. Mostly it was his family and relatives and friends from back where he's from in Botswana. It's cool though to hang out with all of them. I went last year and met a lot of the people I saw this year. Good times.
Today at 4 is the librarian's party. This one doesn't go all night like the one yesterday. If I didn't leave for Karaoke I'd probably have stayed till dawn.
This is more low key. It's just like a smaller deal with croquet setup. So, I'm going to get ready and head out to that.
Summer is the time for outdoor parties! And outdoor activities like Nightscape, which starts in August. I renewed my Longwood Gardens membership so I'll be heading there at least a couple times for Nightscape. Good times. And my running and listening to podcasts in Valley Forge Park. And the Gryphon cafe.
See, and if I moved somewhere new, I'd have to find all these cool places I go to now to go out and do things. I did promise Jess last night I would break my "no step foot in Florida rule" and fly down to Jacksonville.
I guess Florida just... Has a bad taste in my mouth type of deal for me. Old trustee lives there... And of course Kara lives there. So basically to me? Florida sucked away my family money, and it sucked away love. And now it has sucked away one of my best friends.
Dammit Florida! Stop sucking things away from me! You suck, to me at least. You'll never suck me in though. I won't get sucked into that state. No way, no how. I plan to stay up north. Maybe I'll consider moving back west or something. But for now... I'm good in good old PA.