BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

22Jun/160

Travels Part 2

Made it to Maine!

Unpacked.

Made my bed and cabin area.

Said hello to everyone.

Started working on some tasks.

Ate dinner.

Had more conversations.

Still having conversations.

So much happening!

Avoiding mosquitos.

Sitting next to a fire.

Chatting with old friends.

Making new friends.

Good times.

Making lists of things I need to do for the week.

Enjoying myself.

Working and playing.

Excited that I have my desk still, the fun purple one on wheels.

Even more excited that I now have a sweet little spot where we moved my desk by the window so I'm no longer a nomad with my desk wheeling around the office.

Laughing at jokes.

Loving that I'm here for two weeks.

Hoping that it goes by slowly but I know it's going to fly by.

Happy to be here.

 

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21Jun/160

Travels Part 1

Today I traveled from my house to Connecticut.  It was a nice drive.  The sun was shining.  I had the AC on full blast.  Just kind of listened to some jams while I drove along.

Hit a little bit of traffic in NJ.  And a little more after the Tappzee bridge NY into Connecticut.  Overall it was a nice drive.

Tomorrow will be the second part of the drive.  Looking forward to that as it's the more scenic part up through New England.

Tonight I went out to dinner with my friends that live here in the Hartford area.  We then just sat and talked.  Reminisced about my mom and my then mom's friend shared stories about when she first met my mom.  My mom was a SUPER amazing ice skater apparently.  I kind of always knew that part.  My mom and her friend met in nursing school when they were 19.  She shared a story with me of when my mom drove her back home from nursing school to northern NJ and then they went to NYC to Rockefeller center to skate.   I didn't know that story.

Also, I always thought the nursing school was in NYC, it wasn't, it was in Philly.

It's priceless to know the people that knew your parents after your parent passes away.  I've learned that recently.  I've learned that when you lose a parent.  People that knew them become gold.  Because you can still talk to them about your parent.  You can share stories.  They can share stories with you, maybe even things you didn't know about at all.  Still learn new things about this person that you had known your whole life since birth.  You can just relive having that parent around for the brief time that it takes to tell the story.

It's priceless really.  Those stories and those memories.

My mom and her friend here had known each other since just after high-school.  So they had known one another for a LONG time.

It's weird but I can almost feel like my mom is here kind of just watching us.  Or just sharing the space with us.  I also gave her some of my mom's old med supplies. Asthma related stuff.  A nebulizer compressor thing... etc. etc.  Things that they can use.  My mom would have wanted that.  She was all about trying to help everyone she could possibly help in any way she could.

Well, I'm going to head to sleep and then tomorrow I'll drive the rest of the way up to Maine... Plan to get to the camp around lunch time tomorrow.

That's about it for part one of the drive.  So... I'm going to head to sleep and get myself some shut eye.  Night!

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19Jun/160

Maineward Bound

I was SUPPOSED to leave around 1 or 2 this afternoon.  That didn't happen.

See, what had happened was... My plan was the following:

Since I had to work on Saturday, I was going to try and get as much done during the free time I did have... So it was going to be something like...

Friday afternoon/night (I got off work at 1pm for my usual 1pm summer Fridays): Do lots of stuff.

Saturday night: Do more lots of stuff.

Sunday morning: Finish lots of stuff...

Leave for Maine!

Here's what REALLY happened...

Friday afternoon and night: Did some stuff, fell asleep after I made dinner for several hours, woke up got ready for bed and went back to sleep.

Saturday night: Did as much stuff as I could but then realized I had WAY more stuff to do than previously planned as I kept finding the more I knocked off the task list the more I added in new tasks!

Sunday morning: I got up around 10... I wanted to wake up around 8... But I was just so sleepy.  I started tackling the list... I got LOTS of stuff done... Unfortunately it just wasn't enough to leave in time. So I'm still doing things... Just getting closer and closer to finishing the list.

I'll wake up bright and early tomorrow and head on my way.

I'll be heading up towards Hartford and then after staying with a friend I'll be heading the rest of the way to Maine.

My one friend is going to cat and house sit for me.

AND... I just spoke with my next-door neighbor.  He's going to do one lawn cut for me... In exchange for a bottle of wine.

Actually he insisted that I don't have to do that... and I was like... NO WAY dude!  I'm giving you a bottle of wine for cutting my lawn while I'm away.

He's got this big riding mower so it's not THAT big of a deal for him...  His response was..

"Well, I won't turn down wine."

He's awesome.

Anyways... He also is going to be a in a play downtown that he also wrote.  He invited me to come see that opening night.  I'm like... I'll be there.  Me and him go WAY back.  I still remember the first time I met him when he moved in next to me.

I mean all my neighbors are cool, but for some reason me and him just bonded really well.  I think it's because I'm artsy musical type and he's artsy musical type too.

He used to work in Hollywood... worked for Disney and what not... Now he just sticks closer to Philly and NYC.  He's tight with a few pretty famous people... Raven... you know, from That's Soo Raven, or The View.  He knows The Roots too.

Anyways... I'm excited to see him in this play, I've never seen him in a play before!  And he wrote it as well... So that's pretty neat.  I mean I'm excited to go to Maine too.  I'm also excited to go to Nightscape again at Longwood Gardens.  That will be fun...

I'm trying to put more things in my life that excite me.  I keep getting down on myself about the whole being single thing...

But okay really it's not JUST that... It's that... I don't know, I mean I know.  Never mind.  I guess I just miss people that used to be in my life but aren't anymore.  Obviously my mom, miss her a lot... I can't believe it's been the better part of half a year now... and her best bud Eddie Sickles, he's been gone since 2013... I miss chatting with him.

And of course, I still think about... That one girl.  You know, THAT girl... that one girl.  I still think about her a lot.  I just do.  She's just still on my mind... I just carry her around in my thoughts.  It's strange too sometimes... She'll pop into my mind all of a sudden and it will be like... I can literally feel the tangible feeling of missing her.  Of remembering back to when I knew her.

So yeah.  I guess just have to kind of take life as it comes... Sometimes it doesn't go according to plan.  It goes according to another plan.  And that plan is taking me up to Maine yet again tomorrow.

First it's taking me to Wawa to get gas and visit the ATM and grab a Wawa hoagie for dinner.  But THEN it's taking me up to Maine.  And that plan is taking me to my next-door neighbor's show in July.  And it's taking me to Nightscape at Longwood Gardens in August.  And it's taking me...

Who knows.

If I could control the plan... I'd be able to talk to that girl.  I'd be able to have another dinner at Outback Steakhouse with my mom and Eddie...  We used to go there all the time.  My mom and I especially but sometimes Eddie would join as well.

But I can't.  At least I can see some old friends at camp though.  At least I can see my next-door neighbor perform in the show.

He told me again today when we chatted that I'd meet her.  I'd meet her eventually.  It's all in timing and plans.  Just have to wait for that timing and that plan to happen.

Just let life happen and she'll come along... Those were his words.

She could be in Maine... at the camp.  Or just in Maine... Maybe going out the same night that we all go out on the town.  Or maybe she's at the show in July.  Or maybe she's at Nightscape.

Or maybe she's somewhere I can't even imagine where she'd be.  You know, it's weird... Because before I met THAT one girl... I didn't know she even existed.  And then after I met her... I couldn't stop thinking about her from then on.  So like... I guess you can't know that someone is really going to become someone super important in your life... Until they do.

It's like when you hear a new song.  And then after you hear it... You start humming it and you want to listen to it again.  And it becomes just... A "forever song" or something.  But before you knew those notes... You had no idea it even existed or could really have that kind of influence on your life.

And sometimes it works... But sometimes it doesn't and you go different paths...

And then every now and again you find yourself singing that song... That person's song.  And you miss them.  But... What can you do?

It's all in timing and plans.

One thing that's always fun about camp... To end on a lighter note... Is that... there's always new and fun music that I find out about.  So many different people coming from all over the world.  And they all bring things... Ideas.... new music, new things.... and you get to immerse yourself in it.  I love that.  Just letting new things sort of wash over you and soaking them in.

Well, I'm off to finish the final chores on my list and do one last load of laundry and go fill up my tank and get some cash from the ATM and then grab a Wawa sandwich for dinner.

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18Jun/160

Stuff Your Cat Does That Would Be Rude For Your Roommate To Do

This is pretty funny.  My cats definitely have done AT LEAST one of these things each.

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18Jun/160

About To Lose Power and the Internet May Go Out

This was in the content of a message I received as a response from one of the professors today at work.  She's a Sister as in one of the nuns... She's over in Africa helping to teach for the summer.  She does this every summer.  The school is basically made of concrete floors, concrete blocks as the walls and a roof.  That's ABOUT it.

I was making accounts for the students to use Blackboard and we were emailing back and forth.  The power comes and goes.  They have rolling blackouts because there isn't enough energy to supply everyone and the internet isn't very reliable.  So they just use what they can when they can.

It's a very big hinderance to get work done and is a HUGE handicap for learning.

I suppose that title is a little misleading... You might have thought my power and internet were going to go out.

I actually had a small taste of this recently... My modem for Comcast kept going on and offline this week.  It was strange.  At first I thought maybe the modem was going bad, or perhaps there was an issue with Comcast.  So I reset the modem.  It worked fine for a while.  Then it cut out again.  I tried rebooting all my stuff.  I tried all the tricks in all the books.

Then I thought okay, I'll call Comcast, but I was certain they were going to have me take my modem to the nearest office or schedule a tech to come out.  The one AV guy at work suggested I first try re-seating all the connections and even removing any splitters just to test.

I inspected things when I got home after work last night and found that yes there were two splitters.  I tried the first splitter.  It seemed... About the same.  Then I tried to disconnect and reconnect all the connections.  No dice.  Next up I wanted to remove the downstairs splitter in the basement.  This meant I would need to hook the modem up down in the basement...

Well... A little bit later I had an extension cable run from the nearest basement outlet, I removed the second splitter and put a shorter and nicer looking cable directly from the incoming cable connection to the cable modem.

BINGO!

It worked like a charm.

It's been up and running without a hiccup ever since.

I then connected the splitters back further downstream.  So now it comes right into the cable and then splits off to the other two TVs in the house.  I ran an ethernet cable up into the living room to feed the router and wifi and what not.

Not having reliable internet for just a few days drove me nuts.  I can't imagine it on the scale that Sister was emailing me about during the uptimes between downtimes.  We take reliable electricity and plumbing and water and internet for granted.  We don't know how well we have it.

It's something to really think about and consider and be thankful for.  So many people around the world don't have the same luxury.  But we don't think of it as luxury.  We think of it as a right, a need.

But it really makes our lives so much easier to have these things.  And it really puts us WAY ahead in learning and living.

Even if I couldn't fix my Comcast connection, I could have always just called them.  A phone call away.  But where the one professor is... She can't call anyone.  That's just how it is.  You can't get a tech out to re-run a line.

There's no other option.

Just something that I've been thinking about today.  I often feel kind of... guilty these days, I guess guilty is the word.  I live in a 4 bedroom house in the suburbs... alone.

Okay not ALONE... There are four cats too.  But still.  I just feel like, obnoxious.  I feel like I'm using up resources while other people are starving and don't even have clean water.

Meanwhile I could alternate showers in bathrooms each morning and I have three different toilets in which to go do my business.  I could fall asleep in four different bedrooms each night alternating.  I have a back porch the size of a football field to stretch out on in the morning sun and do yoga.  A nice little driveway that could fit three cars.  But it's just me parking my Honda Fit.

I don't know.  I mean... It just feels like... I'm being selfish I guess.  Some people are homeless.  I feel as though I should open up my extra rooms to shelter them.  Or I could just adopt every stray cat in town.

But ideally, eventually I'll downsize.  I'll sell the house and get something smaller.

I think often though about how what I have, so many around the world would dream of having just a fraction of it.

I think the key is just to remember what we have and be thankful for what we do have because there are people around the world with so much less.

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17Jun/160

A Chivalry Club Certified Gentleman

So, I had this idea at work this week.  My coworker says that it's stupid.  But, I think it's a decent idea.

I feel like one of the biggest issues with dating, at least for women is, "is this guy decent?"

Like, is this guy going to actually be someone worth my time to date?

From what I can gather, the women on dating sites first have to figure out if the men on the dating sites, basically, aren't going to hack them up into piece and put them in their trunks.  Like, that they aren't going to try to roofie  their drinks if they decide to meet in person.  That the guy doesn't have secret anger issues where he seems like an okay dude until the 3rd date when he tries to put some other guy's head through a wall in a bar fist fight.

I mean, there was a thing about online dating that I read that went something like...

The women on dating sites are afraid of being attacked, drugged, raped, or killed on a first date.

The men are just hoping that she looks as hot as she did in her photo.

That's messed up if you ask me.  Not just on dating sites, dating in general.  That's just scary!  That's messed up.

So, I had an idea... Chivalry Club certified cards.

The men who are Chivalry Club certified can show their card.  The card contains a link to a profile on the site that confirms them as certified.  Then the women can rest easy knowing hey...

This guy is a Chiv Cert and not a pervert!

That's our tagline.  Or something like that.

Okay, so how does someone get certified?

It's a whole process.

First we do two checks...

Background check and credit check.

What happens if you fail those two?  We'll work with you to help you get your life together so that you do pass those two things.

Okay... What's next?

Mandatory drug test.  Sorry.  But... if you want to be in the club, you've gotta be clean, like checking for dust with a white glove type of clean.

Next.  We look at all your online social media.  We help you clean up your crap.  We help you take down misogynist items.  Instead of a shirtless selfie in the bathroom flexing your guns... We'll replace that with something a little more... Lady folk friendly.

Next up... You're required to meet for a 2 hour class once a month on being a better gentleman.  Every month we meet up and discuss gentlemanly things.  We bring in a guest that is a pro on dating, and what women want... Etc. etc.

Volunteer requirement.  There's an additional volunteer requirement that alternates each month.  4 hours a month.  Soup kitchen, clean up green spaces, assist the elderly, big brother to a kid, habitat for humanity.  Etc. etc.

Finally, you have to read at least one book every three months on a better you.  There are lots of books out there on better ways to date and act in the dating world.  There's lots of literature and science behind building healthy relationships that last.  So, yes, gentleman, there's a book club element to this as well.

I know what you're saying: "This is a demanding service!"

Our answer?  Women deserve the best man you can possibly be.

If you want to date, by all means go out there and date, but you just won't be able to send a verified Chivalry Club link with your profile to the women you are attempting to woo.

So how is this thing funded.  It's a paid service.  But we think that the value added by displaying a Chivalry Club Certified member on your dating site profile, or having the card in your wallet to show in the bar is worth the value.

Additionally we teach you how to break up in an acceptable manner.  No ghosting allowed.  If a woman tells you that she's not interested or no longer interested, you can't blow up her phone with angry texts about how she's missing out on a great cock.  Also, no one wants photos of your wang.

We are open to receiving reports about our members and we review them seriously.  Will we kick you out?  No.  You'll just be required to up the amount of things you do to stay in the club.  Or you lose your certification and drop back down to the lower ranks.

So, I guess I'm wondering, any women out there think they wish that exists?

I actually initially had this idea after first watching the movie Charlie Bartlett on Netflix.  Okay, I KNOW, put aside the fact that he deals prescription drugs in a school bathroom...

But his demeanor in the movie is very gentleman like.  For a young teen, he's very mature in the way he carries himself and speaks.

The Chivalry Club wants to make you more mature in every aspect of your life and make you into a gold gem in the dating world.  It's like a social and emotional workout equivalent of going to the gym.  A gym for toning the inner gentlemen that you could blossom into.  That guy that every lady deserves to have around her arm on a romantic dinner out on the town.

In case you've never seen Charlie Bartlett... Here's the trailer...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_DVwLq0wn0

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17Jun/160

Down Two Degrees

So, this is kind of cool.  Apparently according to this video, and Neil deGrasse Tyson (and Facebook), we're all linked by "four or at most five degrees of separation, down two degrees from six".

Everyone has heard of the six degrees thing, where you can basically find a connection between any two random people by just six steps.  Apparently it's more like four.  Kind of neat!  I love geeking out about this kind of stuff.  It's a smaller word than we previously thought it seems.

Anyways, watch this video.  If you haven't heard of the whole 'Six Degrees' thing... Don't worry, it explain it all in the video.  Check it out...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcxZSmzPw8k

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15Jun/160

Maine

I'm leaving for Maine shortly.  It's the usual camp thing.  What's different this time is that I'll be there for more of when the campers are there instead of just the counselor training time.  So, that's going to be kind of cool.  The director wants me to teach a class since I'll be there for the full first activity week.  I think that will be fun.  So, we're gonna work that out.

My one friend is going to cat and house sit for me.  Having a casa filled with cats makes things a little more tricky when traveling.  I'd like to travel out to LA perhaps in the fall.  I have a couple friends out there along with the invitation from this new trustee guy that I'm welcome to stop by if I'm in Beverly Hills.  So... Don't mind if I do!

I'm thinking that a Fall trip out to Cali could be fun.  Maybe meet up with my friend Kate from high-school and my old childhood friend Tracey who also just recently lost his mom as well.  My mom and his mom were super best friends when we were growing up.  We all lived just around the block from one another in Agoura Hills.  They would come swim in our pool and what not and my mom would give them swim lessons.

Actually, true story... One of Tracey's Sisters married Dan Quayle's son, Ben.

Never a dull moment with California.  I went actually way back in 2010 for a little California trip.  There's a blog post about it on here even if you look back far enough!

But for now... Maine.  I'm excited.  It will be a nice break from work.  It's the same deal as what I do every year.  Things get easier each year, so... Hopefully this year will just be a walk in the park.  I'm also hoping that my purple desk on wheels didn't mysteriously disappear.  I'll be very sad if it did.  I'll be sure to post the outcome.  I know... It's a cliff hanger!  Is the desk going to be there or not?  I don't know?  Just have to wait and find out!

Well, I'm going to get back to making dinner (Salmon with teriyaki sauce, a salad, and brown rice).  Tonight I mowed some lawn and kind of just organized things and then worked on a few bits and pieces around the house.  I may have wasted some time watching a YouTube video here or there.  But it happens to the best of us from time to time.

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14Jun/160

Staff Development Day: Urgent Conversations

Today was staff development day.  Or as we say in the biz... Staff dev day.  Or maybe that was just at our table.

The way it works is... we generally have a staff development day about twice a year.

The day sometimes lasts the entire day, or sometimes just half the day.  It depends on what other sort of things are on the table to discuss.  Sometimes there's lots of things like budgets and what not, or mission related stuff.  Or sometimes it's more of a fun type of day where we have activities planned.

Generally it goes something like....

Breakfast and mingling.  So, we'll get either just a light breakfast of coffee and pastries and such.  Or if it's a longer staff dev day we get eggs and bacon and the works.  After a half hour of chatting and consuming our tasty beverages and other breakfast food items, we'll be seated at tables.

The first person to speak is kind of the "M.C." speaker.  They are in charge of the... "Okay everyone hello? *taps mic* Is this thing on?  Yes, okay, everyone please take your seats!  And now... I'm going to say something funny *everyone laughs*... And now... I'm going to introduce the next speaker..."

The next speaker is usually the opening prayer.  So Sister So and So will give the opening prayer and everyone amens.

"Amen."

It's a Catholic College.  Sooo it's just part of the deal.

After the prayer they kind of go over the outline for the day.

Then the outline person introduces the main act or speaker.  There's then the main day presentation.  Although sometimes we do things where we'll be split in two... Or, as they say in Robinhood Men In Tights... Split in twade.  "HE SPLIT ROBIN'S ARROW IN TWADE!"

Twade may not be the exact spelling.  But... That's how it sounds in the movie.

So, one half will be in in one room and another half in another.  Then we'll swap.  This is if the presentations are more of a nature that requires the group to be smaller.

Then we'll kind of wrap things up with any sort of announcements or other small things.  And of course then we'll have some kind of lunch thing.  Today we had a BBQ cookout thing.  It was nice.

Then it's back to work.  If it's a longer day... We'll have like breakout session part two... Or whatever.

There's usually pens and paper on table and interactive audience participation.  And we discuss at our tables and then there's group presentations with a mic as to what each table came up with.

Ideas are flowing.  The whole thing is it's supposed to get us to mingle with departments we don't normally work with and it's also supposed to get ideas that can be taken back to staff council where they can then use the ideas to shape and change and add to the core values and mission of the college and make the college community better for everyone in the future.

Today our presentation was on Urgent Conversations.  This has to do with race on campus and in general in our society.  One of the presenters was a student that I'm a good friend with.  The other presenter is a teacher at a school in Philadelphia, and as well is a published poet.  So the Urgent Conversations were poems from her published poetry book... The format of the presentation was kind of that she presented along with the student and then after that she would read a poem from the book.

Then from there we would have an open discussion questions related to the poem and how we felt about the issues that the poem raised.

Each one of the five different poems discussed some serious issues related to race and diversity.  It was very interesting for sure and everyone was very receptive and into it.

The presentation itself was VERY professional.  Customized slides and even photoshop artwork and backgrounds along with videos.  A custom professionally made poster sat next to the podium.  The topics of the various poems ranged from discussing the origins of race in the first place and what diversity means and then how can we change things going forward.  How to approach people and the topic to discuss it in a constructive and productive way.  How are we each fitting into the mix.

They even used a more light hearted approach of different hairstyles and hair types and how we feel about our own hair versus the hair that others have to add to the discussion.

Does a specific hairstyle make you feel a specific way about someone?  Or make you think specific things about people?  How would you feel about someone reaching out and grabbing your hair... A stranger... A friend... Does that make you uncomfortable or are you all about it?

The idea is that... We all sort of perceive and interact with each other in ways that might be fine with one person but not with another.  That we might judge someone on a hairstyle, even though that's just a temporary thing.  That's not WHO they are inside.  Or we might do something like reach out and grasp someone's hair and say... "Oh, is that real?"  Or question the coloring.

And that can be offensive or make the person that is having that done to them uncomfortable.

So we had some interesting discussion and took away some new perspectives and ideas.

That's what it is about.  Trying to get everyone to think in a slightly different way and see things in a different light.

After the presentation they closed out the staff dev day and we all had some BBQ.  Then it was back to work.

The takeaway is that sometimes conversations can be uncomfortable, especially if there's an urgent need for those conversations.  But those conversations are necessary for progress and change to happen and to make the spaces that we live and work in, safer and more productive for everyone!

It's one of the things that I enjoy about working in a college community, that the ideas are always flowing and everyone is always trying to challenge everyone else to think and look at the world in a different way.  Critical thinking.

What kind of urgent conversations can you start with those around you to make the world a better and safer place?  What is the best way to start those conversations and open up that dialogue?

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13Jun/160

To-Do List Today

Here's my to-do list for today since I'm off from work today:

Wake up (check)

Feed cats (check, and this is the reason why I'm already awake.  My plan was to sleep until noon.  They refused to let that happen.)

Make coffee (Brewing)

Blog (Writing now)

Make fruit and veggie smoothie shake (next on my list)

Wash dishes in sink (these are mostly done, just a few to do)

Yoga on the back porch (I've never done this so I want to give this a try, my mom had this big super nice back porch built and it has yet to even be used.  I think at some point this summer I want to host an outdoor backyard movie night.  I think it would be cool.  I hosted one a few years ago and it was a smashing success.  So I definitely want to do it again.)

Change cat litter (I'm always changing cat litter these days.  When you have 4 cats, you change a lot of litter... and wash a lot of sheets because sometimes they decide to puke a hairball on your bed, thanks Curio for being the one to puke up today's hairball.)

Wash sheets

Shower

Practice music

Pay some bills

Cut nails (Gotta keep your nails trimmed and cut nice and neat!)

Weedwack (Gotta keep your lawn cut nice and neat!)

Start making email accounts for camp (I'm trying to get an early start on this)

Record some music (I haven't been doing enough of this lately, I really need to do more of this)

Eat left over pizza (from last night that I got up the street at Iron Hill where I was going to do some writing but instead ended up just reading and chatting with some people)

Store (need some more food items)

Take out trash and recycling

Get gas

Run (in valley forge park on the way to the Pickering Creek Inn to hang out with friends for a little bit)

Head over to Pickering Creek Inn to hang out for a few and say hello

Bed

*List is subject to change.  Void where prohibited.  No flash photography.  Keep hands and feet inside the blog post at all time.  Read at your own risk.  Desired results may vary.

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