BennyEast.Com/Blog The official blog of Kenny West

18Mar/160

Uncommon Sense

Finished listening to this talk this evening.  It's really great.  You should listen to it too if you have some spare time.

 

 

More info about it and the transcript and the downloadable version can be found here... https://sivers.org/wds

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17Mar/160

If You Didn’t Know How Old You Were How Old How Old Would You Be?

"If You Didn't Know How Old You Were How Old How Old Would You Be?"

That's a tough question.  Honestly?  I always feel like I'm stuck at 14 or 13.  Or whatever age I was when I had my first kiss.

Amanda.  I don't know her last name. I  WISH I knew your last name Amanda from Camp Mataponi who used to send me letters with stickers all over the pink stationary that I wish I had saved.

I'd so stalk your Twitter and Facebook.  Sigh.  Amanda.  You'll forever be a mystery to me.

I still remember that very night.  We made out to the last song of the night, Stairway to Heaven.  I promptly ran back to the van headed back for Skylemar and told my three best cabin mates... Andrew Skrilow, David Guttman, and Jake George.

Andrew was all smarts.  Glasses.  AP classes.  Total nerd alert.

David was the spitting image of that kid from the Sandlot.  Alan “Yeah-Yeah” McClennan.  He got all the ladies.  Pretty boy.

Jake was your quintessential Boston kid complete with the accent and everything.

Andrew and I are friends on Facebook.  The other two... I haven't a clue where they got off to.

Honestly the most I remember about Amanda was that A) she was a fantastic kisser (although it was my first kiss ever so... I really had nothing to compare it to), and B) she had really neat handwriting.  What more could you ask for in a first kiss though at 13?  Or was I 14?  I don't know... I think it was 13 though.  I just know she was 1 year younger than me and I thought that was weird that we weren't the same age.

The things you worry about when you're young.

Anyways, that quote from the subject came not from Amanda or Camp Mataponi, or Camp Skylemar... It came from...

The Pickering Creek Inn.  I was out tonight A) checking out a karaoke night, and B) doing some writing.

I didn't sing.  I just sat and worked on my book.

Turns out The Pickering Creek Inn has lots of weeknight entertainment.  Monday is a variety show.  I went a few weeks ago and listened to some of the comedy acts.  They were all great.  Tuesday is quizzo, but I already have a quizzo that I go to.  I feel like I'm already in a quizzo relationship and that it would be cheating to go to an alternate quizzo venue.  Wednesday is karaoke night... and Thursday is open mic.

True story, I learned how to properly spell karaoke after this one girl named Alana pointed out that it was the same spelling as her roommate's name.  Kara+ok+e.

Previously I would always misspell it.  Now I never get it wrong.

So I'm at The Pickering Creek Inn doing some writing just thinking about the past and this question... and I'm thinking about all the girls I've kissed since Amanda.

Sometimes I entertain the idea that I already know the girl I'll some day marry.  I think about all my crushes and loves.  I don't know.  I mean... Most of them I haven't a clue what they are up to anymore.  By most of them I mean nearly all of them.

What's strange is The Pickering Creek Inn reminds me of this one girl I've never met.  Sarah G.  She was the roommate of Kara before Alana.  Sarah G. Tweeted at me one time I think.  It was one of those random @ mention things.  Then we started doing the private messaging thing.  Then we swapped emails.  We were supposed to eventually meet up for a beer at the Pickering Creek Inn...

It never happened.  Why?  You know... I can't quite remember why.  It was like 4 or 5 years ago so I don't know exactly.  We just never did.

Insert shoulder shrug.

But every time I end up at The Pickering Creek Inn... I think about Sarah G. and her kayak.  She was super into kayaking.  She could hate kayaking now for all I know.  All I remember about her was that she was all about kayaking and running.

So then I got to thinking... You know, when you think of people from your past... You only think about them when you knew them.  I mean... I don't really think about any of the girls that I've known or any of my past girls that I've kissed as they could be now...

I think of them as they were when I knew them.  The age that they were when I first met them.

For all I know Amanda could have 3 kids and be married by now.  But to me, she's still 13.  Forever locked in that memory in the Camp Mataponi Rec Hall dancing with me to Stairway to Heaven while my friends sit outside on the deck watching the purple buzzing bug zapper fry bugs one by one.

But we all keep aging and changing.  We all keep on slipping into the future.

But we really only know that we're going into the future and getting older because people tell us.  Or we keep track of it.  Or we look in the mirror and just say to ourselves... I used to be so much better looking than this...

So back to that question of... if you didn't know how old you were how old how old would you be?

I guess that depends on if I'm looking into the mirror (feeling old these days)... Or if I'm just looking at a vivid memory from a long time ago with my eyes closed.

I guess whatever age I want to be could be one answer.  But my honest answer is just that... I always feel like an awkward early teen leaning in for that very first kiss.

So I dedicate this blog post to you Amanda something from Camp Mataponi circa early/mid 1990s... My first kiss.  You'll forever be lost and gone forever.  And maybe Sarah G. and her kayak.  And Kara and her roommate for teaching me the proper way to spell karaoke.

And the Pickering Creek Inn for having that quote posted up and inspiring this blog post in the first place.

Speaking of awkward summer camp dances... Now I'm reminded of another girl I never actually kissed, but I spent the ENTIRE dance rehearsing a dance upstairs for a song that she had requested the DJ play.  The song was never played.  She got so upset over it all that she left without saying goodbye when the dance was over.  This pre-dates the first kiss Amanda girl.  I can't recall what her name was.  I just remember she was obsessed with us getting this Jitterbug dance routine exactly perfect for when the song came on.  I feel like that's how most of life goes...

We spend all this time worry about things that never actually end up happening.  I remember being so nervous too about getting the dance correct.  I remember thinking that me and her were going to wow the entire camp social...

Those were good problems to have.  I tell ya.

And with that... I'm off to bed.  Goodnight all you little Jitterbugs out there.

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15Mar/160

Ups and Downs

So, I'm just going to ramble in this post about investing and such.  Because... Why not?  So here goes some investment ramblings...

I feel like one of the reasons I really dig the stock market is because... It kind of mimics life.  It's full of ups and downs.  Things that are at the top one day can sink to the bottom the next.  And things at the bottom one day can be flying high the next.

My trading strategy basically relies on the idea of seeing the little joys of life.  Life is full of lots of things.  Some good... Some bad.  Some REALLY good and some REALLY bad.  But... Often, there are little tiny good things.  And lots of them too.  So, I just take those little tiny skimmed off the top good things.  And I balance out the BIG bad things with lots of little good things.

So far it's turning out to be a solid strategy.  I skimmed again today by turning a tiny profit of 53 dollars from CBOE holdings.  It's the Chicago Board of Options Exchange.  This brings my realized capital gains pretty far ahead of my dividend income stream.  I'm about a hundred and ten bucks ahead of my dividends.  So I can sit back now and not trade for a little while until my dividends catch up to my gains and then I have to trade some more to keep that number ahead of the pace.  I do have to research and purchase another stock at my leisure to bring me back up to the full 40 since I'm now at 39 again with today's sell.

So what are my tops and bottoms?  Well my top stock currently is Extra Space Storage.  I'd been eyeing this one for a while and decided after a significant pull back to hop in.  So here I am in at 82.91 and the last trade is 88.25.  I'm long this stock because I just feel like junk isn't something that's going to go anywhere any time soon.  People have lots of stuff.  And they just don't want to get rid of their stuff permanently.  They like to keep it.  They just don't always have the space... So, I feel like renting storage units is something that will stick around and continue to be profitable.  Junk is the best tenant.  They don't make noise, they don't complain.  They just sit quietly in a unit day after day, week after week, month after month while someone auto debits their bank card or account or credit card.

And if the person stops paying?  I'm certain they auction the stuff, or just trash it... After a certain amount of time, and then someone new comes in with their belongings that they just don't want around the house or have space around the apartment, or whatever the scenario is... Divorce, moving for a new job and come  back for the stuff later, downsizing into a retirement community... Etc. etc.

Stuff.  It's here to stay.

I may eventually sell these shares and take profit and then get in on another public storage type of REIT.  We'll see.  For now I like Extra Space Storage.  And it pays a dividend 4 times a year too!  Although all my stocks do since that's my requirement for any of the stocks I purchase.  No dividend... No deal.  Netflix is a big one that I'm missing out on.  But until they can start paying a dividend... I'll just sit on the sidelines and watch from a distance.

Now... The bottom stock.  VNR.  It's a REALLY bad "bad".  It's an oil and natural gas company... or an MLP actually.... But it doesn't matter, anything related to oil is down... WAY down.

How far down?  The purchase price I paid for my shares back in July of 2014 was a whopping 31.32 per share.  How much do the shares fetch in value as of close of the markets today?  2.07.

So... As you can imagine that's a BIG ouch.  But here's the thing.  I'm not far away from passing that big "loss" should I choose to sell my shares at a loss in gains.  But I won't sell.  So even though my shares have indeed lost money, this whole time these last few years I've been cashing out the dividend.  I've taken that dividend and used it to buy shares in another company that also produces dividends.  I've then used that dividend to pay forward into another company that produces a dividend... Etc. etc. etc.

Now VNR or Vanguard Natural Resources... Has slashed their dividend as oil prices fell... Then they recently just got rid of it all together.  I'm not happy about that.  No dividend does mean that I no longer really want it in my portfolio, so I'll consider selling it, but not till the end of the year.  I most likely won't unless I really want to use the loss for tax reasons, which I might... We'll see.

I'm fairly convinced that eventually oil prices will start to rebound at least even marginally and eventually VNR will reinstate the dividend.  SO to me it's like... Why sell it?  Just let it sit there.  It's not really doing anything.  It just sits there.  Even if the stock drops 50 percent at this point... I lose maybe a few bucks.  If it goes up though even by 50 percent... I stand to gain.

This is why I invest and grow out sideways instead of upwards.  The most this thing can ever fall is to 0 dollars.   The most it stands to gain is... there isn't really a limit per say.  I mean any stock could theoretically go up forever.  That's very unlikely but, argue what you want... It never hurts to just hold on to shares.  VNR could eventually be bought up by someone else... Acquired by another company, split into two different companies, merged again.... Etc. etc. and I might end up owning shares in a completely different company that starts to grow like a weed and split and pay dividends...

This happens a lot in the business world.  Yes, sometimes shares are bought outright and then you are just given a lump payment of whatever... That happened to me last year... But the idea is just to keep trying to increase the odds that you will be right more likely than being wrong.

Which is my strategy.  You're more likely to get a basket of cookies brought to you than you are to win the lottery.  You're more likely to see a nice sunset than you are to have a whole year's worth of bad luck strike.

So, VNR dropping to a fraction of its initial value was a highly unlikely event... the 5 percent I took today from CBOE was a lot more likely and I'll repeat that again and again. until my 20 separate 5 percent trades equal my 100 percent loss.

Insurance companies do the same thing with actuarial tables.  You're more likely to bring in x dollars a month over and over again than you are to have to pay through the roof to that one time that someone has a claim of a million dollars.

And I also receive dividends.  SO even if VNR goes out of business and I end up losing that investment entirely.... If I make no trades and just sit back... Eventually my dividends will pile up and surpass the loss.

But my thing is... I feel as though VNR will eventually recover at least some and they will restore the dividend.  We'll see.  If I have to take the loss, I have a strategy in place that allows me to cover my loss with all of my little good trades to balance out my massive loss.

Right now I'm still at 40 slots, I want to expand soon to 41 or 42.  I would be at 42 by now if I hadn't used some of the money to pay my credit card without moving money from my checking account since I need the checking account cash to pay property taxes.  SO the investment gains that I made in the last year kind of went to that instead of opening up another spot to trade an additional stock in my portfolio.  I've been trying this thing where I don't move money from my other bank account.  Instead I've been seeing how long I can go with my bill pay and credit card just from my trading account.  I'm trying to not use my paycheck from work at all.  That's one of my goals is to get to the point where I'm transferring less and less of that money over until suddenly my investing activity can actually pay my credit card in full each month and my bill pay as well.

Then I can use my work cashflow for other things... Maybe plane tickets to travel?  Or who knows what.  Maybe lots of music equipment.

Anyways so there's my stocks update.  At the moment I'm beating my dividends in realized capital gains which is my goal.  If I have to take a loss on Vanguard Natural Resources because they go belly up... I'll just have to keep making my small trades to get that number back ahead of the dividends again.  For right now though I'll make one more buy trade and then just sit pretty for a month while my dividends stream back in every few days and that dividend number inches closer to the capital gains number.  Just trying to stay one step ahead with all these little ups to balance out the downs.

Big and little ups with the big and little downs.  And who knows, oil inventories could suddenly bottom out or even drop, the price of a barrel of oil could sky rocket and... VNR might suddenly shoot back up through the roof and it could be my top stock this time next year.

That's the way of the market.

Valeant Pharmaceuticals was at 262 dollars a share on August 6th of 2015... Today's close price? 33.54.

Ouch.

Of course on the other end of the spectrum... Celator Pharmaceuticals Inc was 1.69 when it closed yesterday... Today's close price?  8.94.

That's a more than 400 percent return in 24 hours.

Sometimes you're down... Sometimes you're up.

Neither of those stocks pay dividends so I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole... But there's opportunity in life every day.  Just have to be patient... Or sometimes in the right place at the right time.

Or, you just have to do your research stick with your investment choices and know for instance that people like Coke... And they have liked coke for a long time.  Coca-Cola hit an all time high today and they have been paying a dividend for over 50 years.

And just like storing junk, or burning oil... Coca-Cola will probably continue to be a drink of choice for many individuals for many years to come.

Sometimes you are wrong on an investment... And sometimes you're right.  Just like life, sometimes you make a wrong choice in life and sometimes you make a right choice.  But focus on all the little tiny right choices that you make each day and not the big mistakes that are few and far between.  My only goal is to be right just slightly more than I'm wrong and let all those little sips of Coke... and all those fuel tank fill ups and all those containers filled with extra stuff... Add up to cancel out my much less likely larger mistakes.

Well... Those are my investment ramblings for today.

 

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14Mar/160

Be Kind Please Rewind, Or At Least Don’t Leave Your Cart In The Middle Of The Parking Lot

Today at work we were talking in casual conversation about going the extra tiny step for someone else.

What spurred the conversation was that yesterday I was at the grocery store doing some shopping.  I picked up a bottle of bathroom cleaner... The cap wasn't screwed on.  So, I got cleaner liquid on my hand. I didn't think too much of it, I screwed the cap back on tight and I nonchalantly read the back label.

WARNING!  THIS CAN BURN YOUR HAND OFF!

OH MY!!!

Not really, but it did say it can cause severe skin burns if prolonged contact with skin is made... So I left my cart there and ran to the bathroom to wash my hand off so that it wouldn't burn off.  Upon returning to the cart containing my shopping items I continued on my way to gather up the rest of the things on my list.  One of the items was a box of Ritz Crackers to bring down as a snack with a bruschetta dip-esk type of thing to have before dinner at that girl's place that I'm kind of sort of seeing-ish.  She made us New York Strip Steak... Cut at a legit butcher and what not.  I mentioned it in passing to my one coworker today and she was like...

"Let me get this straight.  You puked in this girl's toilet after drinking HER wine... and she still made you NY Strip Steak?"
"Well when you put it that way..."
"You put a ring on that right away!"

To be fair I've bought her dinner and drinks and what not... So, we're like just buying each other meals/making one another meals.  Or something like that.  We're even at this point.

I mean, okay sure, I enjoy her company... But I'm not about to put a ring on it, like, tomorrow.  We're just... seeing one another.  It's nothing serious.  I've just managed to go on more than a first or second date with a girl.  That's all it is though.  No rings.  Just... seeing and what not and things.

Ok ANYWAYS... When I got to the parking lot I put my items in my car and then stowed the cart properly in the little cart shack, I noticed a whole slew of carts that had just been strewn about all over the place.  People just left them any old place, between cars... In the middle of the road even.  It just makes it so the cart person has to run all around to gather the carts.  I did that for two years in high school before moving to cashier.  It's just such a pain when people leave them all over like that, and it only takes a few seconds more to put it properly in the little shack thing.

Fast forward to today at work.  I'm talking to my boss about the store incident (after I was talking to my coworker about the steak thing) and he's just like oh yeah, he makes it a point to take an item all the way back to it's very spot in the store if he changes his mind.  He hates when people leave things any old place.  I don't much care for that either.  You're just making more work for the people at the store.  Just be kind and take it back to where you picked it up at if you've changed your mind.  It's a simple gesture.

We talked about other examples where it's just nice to make things a little tiny bit easier for those that come after you.  Or for someone that might already have a crappy job.  Okay for example... I don't like to throw loose trash in the trashcan.  Every Tuesday morning the trash truck comes around exactly at 7:30 when my alarm goes off.  I see them out there in the frigid winter cold and humid summer heat hustling their bums off in a not so glamorous job... But an important one at that!  It just makes their job SOOOOOO much easier to have everything in bags.  When there are loose things in the trashcan they just have to work a little extra to lift the whole trash can and then fumble around with it to get that stubborn little piece out at the bottom.  Don't do that to them... Just put it all in bags so they can just grab the bags and move on to the next one.

Things like that can make someone's day.  So, just be kind and rewind.  Or... I guess in these modern times that we live in... Be kind and don't plot spoil a Netflix Original show on social media before your friends have had a chance to watch it.

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13Mar/160

Feel Like An Ellie Goulding Song

So, I'm totally obsessed with Ellie Goulding's music.  Her songs strike a feeling in me that... Well... It's the closest thing I'll get to the feeling I get when I'm in love with a girl.  Right now my favorite song of hers is this one...

 

 

That song is how I WISH I could feel for a girl.  Not just any girl, like... Ok I'm out last night attempting some writing, but I didn't write, I just ended up talking with some people  and watching a guy play some cover songs in this Irish pub.  It wasn't bad.  I enjoyed the friendly banter.  But there were a few girls that I caught eyes with that I thought... Hmmm... They interested me.  I didn't talk to them because I was busy chatting with this engaged girl.  Isn't that how it always goes?  And then I have this other girl I'm... kind of seeing...  texting me drunk from a wine tasting event.  I'll get to that in a few.

Anyways I'm talking to this engaged girl and her fiancé.  They truly are an Ellie Goulding song for sure. You can tell they are in love.  Their wedding is in two months.  You can just tell.... I've never experienced something like that.  I mean, their situation.. where both people are a solid yes for one another.

Back to this girl I'm seeing-ish.  I mean, I enjoy her company, and we've hung out quite a bit.  We've gone on dates quite a bit.  So, yeah, we've kissed and what have you.  It's no Ellie Goulding song... But I'm letting it go and seeing if maybe something like that develops.

I think my main thing is... I'm just over dating.  I don't want to do it anymore.  I've really stopped logging into my dating site account... I feel like if I'm supposed to end up feeling an Ellie Goulding song for someone... It would have happened by now.

But I mean... So I'm out in Valley Forge Park just running and feeling ok... and enjoying the day and listening to my podcast and I'm passing all these parents with kids that look like they hate their lives.  I'm running past these guys just barely holding their girl's hands... It's like they are on the verge of breaking up but they stay with each other because it's too much work to get sex from someone new.

It just makes me realize that Elle Goulding songs are... What they are... There's only one Elle Goulding... So basically when you see a couple that is REALLY in love... That crap is rare.  Most of us are just "with" people... or kind of seeing people because we're over dating.  It's exhausting.  We just don't want to do it anymore... So hey here's someone that seems interest in you, especially when she's had some wine...  I'm certainly FAR from in love with her... But she's nice, so I'll "see where it goes".  I can almost tell you 100 percent that I'm not going to marry this girl.  To be honest... I don't think I'll ever get married...

Why?  I want to marry for love.  I don't want to marry because I just want companionship.  I want to be like the guy and girl out last night at the Irish pub.  So instead of putting any further exhausting energy into dating... I'm just going to go with things as they are at the moment.  I'm just going to assume I'll never have an Ellie Goulding song kind of love story, and if I do ever find it... I'll be surprised.  I mean... the day before I ever first started talking to the last girl I fell in love with, I would have never even known I could feel like that for girl ever.  So... I mean, maybe one day I'll suddenly wake up in love with this girl I'm seeing-ish....

Or... One night I'll be out somewhere and I'll suddenly meet a girl that becomes an Ellie Goulding song type of love story.

And if in 6 months we decide not to see one another anymore... I'm just going to be single.  I'm just going to work on writing and recording music, writing books, play open mics.  Go out to bars and meet people.  Go about my life.

I just... can't imagine out of all the girls I've ever met in my life (with the exception of one)... feeling so compelled to decide she's the one I want in my life for the rest of my life.

For the most part these days... I won't most people out of my life... Not in my life.  I'll give you an hour or two of my time... But after that... I need to go do my own thing.  That's the problem with this current girl... I want an hour and she wants 10.  I want 1 day a week and she wants every night.

And there isn't something in the way she moves that really gets me.

Oh well.  Some people get lucky in love... Others... Just are fumbling around in the dark still trying to find it... dating.... seeing people... maybe waiting to see if it happens to happen with someone they are seeing... Maybe trying to make it happen... Maybe just staying in relationships because they aren't sure what else is out there.

The only thing I know for sure is... I WANT to get married one day... For love.  Mutual love.  Like we both say I love you and mean it.  Right now... I just can't imagine that ever happening for me...

But I'm ok with that.  I just wake up every morning and shrug my shoulders and just say to myself well... Today is another day and who knows what it will bring.

Who knows... Maybe one day I'll wind up at an Ellie Goulding concert or something and meet the girl of my dreams there.  Hmmm... I should go to an Ellie Goulding concert.  That would be fun.  I've never been to one of her shows.  I wonder if she's coming to Philly any time soon.  Perhaps I'll look that up.

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13Mar/160

It’s The Little Things

It's just strange how little things will make my cry.  Like... I'll drive by a parked Jeep that's a similar model and color of my mom's Jeep.  Or I'll just be in the grocery store and see something that my mom always had me pick up for her.

Sometimes one of the cats will just do something, or meow in a way that makes me tear up.  I guess that's how these things go.  I definitely miss her a lot.  It's strange having her gone.  Working through all her estate stuff has actually been easy I guess... Emotionally I mean.  Just because it feels like I'm still doing something for her or helping her in a way.

Getting rid of stuff is hard.  Like, I threw out some medical supplies that she still had around from her hip replacement when I was cleaning out the room next to mine to make it into my little office/creative area of sorts.

It's just a mix of different feelings about life in general.  Kind of a confusion.  Or a fear.  The fear part is kind of like... Hard to explain but you know how there's that... "Oh well, if things don't work out in life I can always just move back home" outlook that most younger people have... "I'll move to NYC or LA or insert fun new place to move to, if I run into trouble, I'll just call mom and dad, or just move back home".

But when you are now "back home"... It just changes.  There's no safety net, so to speak.  My drive in life now isn't fun new adventure... My drive now is... hoard cash.  Be vigilant of costly home repairs.... Don't venture out too often in case of some kind of event that might render me unable to work or take care of the house or cats.

Basically my risk tolerance level is zero now.  Even though it was already low before when my mom was still alive but not doing all that great... And I still have other friends and people I can call, like family friends or what have you... There's a good amount of people in the area.  And there's always my brother or sister or dad.  Although my sister and dad live kind of far away and aren't very local by a good 5 hours but still...

It's mostly just a feeling.  Like empty space.  It probably doesn't make sense to most people.  But all I want to do anymore is just stay close to home and constantly check my financials.  Budget like a fiend.  Try to predict future costs.  Just work on my creative endeavors, which I haven't had much time for but I'm starting to get more time.

I just sent the EZ Pass tag back.  So now everything with the car is completed.  Mark another thing off of my excel check list.  Even that made me cry a little.  And then after that I went to the pet store to get more cat food and I can hear my mom saying things that she would say.

So yeah.  It's definitely different.  And it's funny because I often thought once she passed I'd just be like... Oh, I'll just travel the world and sell all the stuff.  But it's the exact opposite really.  I just want to maintain and go do all the things I used to do while she was alive.  Today I went for a run in Valley Forge Park after dropping the EZ Pass off at the post office and then the pet store.

The more things stayed the same in the past the more I wanted them to change... But the more they change in the future the more I kind of want them to stay the same.  Which doesn't really make sense.  I mean I like change.... I definitely one day want to hit up this bucket list of life goals that I have and even possibly sell the house here and move somewhere new.  I'd love to eventually change careers from the IT computer support thing and try my hand at making music happen on a more professional level, or the writing books thing... Or acting.  I've always secretly thought it would be fun to act in movies.  I definitely enjoy the trading bit too.  That's slow going but I'm actually up over 500 bucks for the year so far.  Not a get rich quick type of thing, but it's slow and steady.  It's a nice safety blanket of extra income as well.

Although I like higher education IT.  I've done that for 10 years now, so I mean it's old hat.  Knowing that I'll have a paycheck deposited into my bank account every month at the end of the month is comforting.  Knowing that I have full health, vision, dental... Etc.  That's hard to beat.  Knowing that I have a retirement account that gets matched by my employer.  Also hard to beat.  Knowing that I have the same 9-5 work day when most IT people work strange round the clock shifts or 60+ work weeks, or maybe that's just a handful of friends of mine that work strange hours and 60+ work weeks and that isn't the norm for IT.  I feel like a standard 9-5 shift isn't the norm for most IT departments though...

It's a bit like that "I can always move home" feeling.  And then at the end of the work day, or on my weekends, or on my many longer breaks that the higher ed realm offers... Where most corporate IT friends of mine end up doing computer system upgrades at midnight over the weekends or they will work christmas day because no one else is working that day and it's the perfect time to swap out equipment and servers and upgrade...

We just don't do that stuff.  Never have.  I can't say never will because who knows... but it's again, it's that home feeling.  It's the not wanting to be all risky and quit my job and move out to LA to try and be an actor, or move to NYC to try to be a musician.  Instead on weekends/breaks I can just 9-5 and go to an open mic in the evening, record music, write books.

Right now I can do my creative things and I know that I still have that monthly paycheck... Although I don't get paid a ton but with my strict budgeting I make it work (I mean, I have savings too, so I won't run out of money... and it's not like there isn't going to be more money available from my mom's estate and grandparents trust and what not, I just always like to see balances increasing and not decreasing month over month... You know... Safety net... Move back home feeling... Rainy day fund... Want to sleep well at night knowing that I don't have to worry if something breaks type of feeling...).  I have this house.  I have these cats.  I can make stock trades at work between fixing broken printers, or configuring network switching equipment or making new email accounts.

It's a bit like having cake and eating it too.  And I'm all about cake, or dessert in general... Like my mom was.  See... there's another little thing.  Just made me tear up.  Damn it.  My mom was all about dessert though.  She enjoyed her sweets.  Haha yeah.  Last summer she had me come down one day just to bring her a milkshake because she had a "craving".  Always with the cravings.  A craving for Outback.  I can't tell you how many times I stopped at the curbside pick up for her.  Well anyways...

So yeah.  I just feel strange these days.  I just want to build up a moat around my house and make a little draw bridge and peer down from the tower at anyone that tries to enter and ask them what they want before I let the drawbridge down.  I just don't much care to venture off into the forest or uncharted territory on a horse with a sword in hand.

I just want to make french pressed coffee on the weekends and stay in my PJs and work on things around the house and try not to cry too much when I move something of my moms to a new place or put it in a box and put it in the basement or throw out something or add to the pile of things to donate.  I want to have the option to move back home, but it's up to me to keep the home... Homely... So I can move back to it.... Even though I already live here.  Something like that.

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9Mar/160

POP corn

Tonight I popped my own popcorn.  It was an experiment of sorts.  I wasn't exactly sure how it would go.  It turned out pretty well!

Ok.  So, lately I've been into snacks.  Or, ok, I've always been into snacks.  But lately I've been into popcorn.  But popcorn isn't cheap.  For the amount you get in that bag... I feel like the price per pop is a bit inflated when you buy pre-popped popcorn.

So, I decided to buy my own kernels and pop it myself!  How hard could it be?  Turns out... It wasn't hard.  Unlike the time I tried to give myself a buzz cut.  If you read back far enough there's a blog post about it.  That was WAAAAAY back in the day.

Yep, well, I made my own popcorn.  And it came out well.  Now, I decided to buy the slightly pricier organic popcorn kernels.  The bag still has enough to make like a whole entire room full of the fluffy fresh popped stuff.  I'll probably be set for months.  I went with a small container full tonight.

I started with some olive oil, also organic, in addition to the organic kernels.  I placed some of the oil in a little pot and put it on the stove... Then I put some kernels in.

Add heat and wait.  Bam!  Lots of popping.  I think I had one dud.  Which, I probably could have taken the rest of the popped corn out and just let that one simmer until it finally came to life.  I figure I could let one go.

So anyways, after that I lightly salted it.

It's super fresh and tasty.  And it's healthy too!  Can't beat it.  So for 4 bucks I still have at least a dozen other pops.  I'm not sure exactly how much popcorn I can make, but it seems like a lot.  Could be way more than a dozen.

It's pretty quick too, I was popping up some corn in just a few minutes.  The only downside is you have to wash the pot.  So there's that.  But I definitely feel like this is soooo much better than A) wasting a bag that the popcorn would need to come in since I just put it in a plastic container after it cooled to snack on at work through the day tomorrow B) It's definitely healthier because it's olive oil and it's organic popcorn and it's lightly salted, or however much salt I decide to put on it.  I decided on a light amount.

So, if you don't mind doing some prep work and cleaning up a little, I highly recommend popping your own popcorn.  It's also cool and exciting as the kernels start doing their little pop thing in the pot on the stove.

Yes... I've popped my own popcorn before... But never on the stove straight up with oil and kernels.  We used to pop our own when we would go to my dad's place when we were kids back in California.  Only he had a popcorn maker and we'd just put gobs of butter on it.  I'm pretty sure it was the most unhealthy thing ever.

So stovetop olive oil popped organic popcorn was what the whole "experimental" part to this experiment was.  Everyone kept telling me you can't pop popcorn that way, it just burns.  Well... It does indeed pop.  And I don't see a single burnt piece in the whole bunch either!  So there ya go.

I feel like I could be the third myth buster guy.

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8Mar/160

National Pancake Day

I hop, you hop, we all hop to IHOP!  Today was National Pancake Day.  That means they were giving away free pancakes at IHOP today.

Alright, so I didn't do any hopping today.  And I didn't get any free pancakes at IHOP either.  Oh well.  I'm sad.  I do enjoy pancakes.  Especially a whole stack of them!  And it was for a good cause... to raise money for charity.

http://www.cnbc.com/2016/03/08/ihop-hopes-to-raise-millions-on-national-pancake-day.html

There's always next year right?  I'll have to mark my calendar.

So instead I got my teeth cleaned.  Woo.  Now they are stain free again.  My teeth stain like crazy from all the tea and coffee I consume.  But, I just can't give up my tea... and I rather enjoy a nice cup of coffee as well.  So, I get my teeth cleaned every 3 months instead.

They use this sandblast thing to take all the stain off.  So far it's been working well.  Then my teeth look decent for about a month.  Then they go back to staining again.  Oh well.  It's a constant battle.

Well here's to clean teeth... and hopefully one day in my near future, a stack of pancakes.

 

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6Mar/160

No One Moves To PA For The Weather

So I was having a conversation a while back with a friend about PA.  They said "No one moves to pa for the weather".

It's true.  I mean.... Obviously people move to Cali and Florida for that.  So those two states, theoretically are filled with people that moved there for nice weather.  It got me thinking... What kind of people move to places for nice weather?  Does this mean that California and Florida have a specific type of person that lives there over... For example Pennsylvania?

I don't know.  I'm not in the place to commission a study on the type of people that live places.  What I do know is a couple years ago I went on a date with a girl that works in TD Bank's fraud prevention and detection department.  She moved back to NJ after living in Florida for nearly 10 years.  Fort Lauderdale to be exact.

Now, she basically moved back to NJ to be closer to her family.  So I would assume one reason people move to PA is family.  So there's that.  People maybe move for education or educational programs.  There are plenty of colleges in the area.  So I guess there's always that.

Family.  Education.  Maybe for a job?

So as we sat and had a beer and talked to one another and I found out as I asked her questions and she asked me questions... That she actually had come to hate Florida.  Apparently it's not the weather she hated... That wasn't so bad, not having winters was a plus.  And the sunshine was abundant.  No, it was the people.  She had so many "horror stories" of the people that live in Florida.

Ok, so fine, there's her own bias at play and I'm sure there are plenty of other people that love Florida.  But she was pretty convincing at how much the people there just aren't all that great.

The camp director of the camp I help out every June isn't too keen on Florida either.

Personally I have no opinion on it.  I imagine it to be a decent place filled with fine friendly folks.  I have only been a handful of times to visit friends and go on the Disney cruise with my mom for my 22nd birthday.

Yes.  I went on the Disney cruise with my mom for my 22nd birthday, and I enjoyed it.  I have a photo with various Disney characters.

I don't know why all the hate from this girl, but after 10 years of living there she was super over it.

So we then started to discuss her job.  I then asked for her to tell me the most interesting part of her work.  She loved intercepting criminal activity.  Whenever she was able to prevent fraud or to stop it, she said it was super satisfying knowing that not every person that tried to defraud the bank got away with it.  I then said... "What do you mean not every person?"

She went on to say that a lot of fraud is never caught.  That a lot of it is actually known but there isn't much you can do about it.  This blew my mind.  And made me angry.  She said that they are trying to improve their systems and that she was in charge of an initiative to create new ways to detect and prevent fraud to get the number even further up.  I then asked ok... So where does most fraud happen?

She said 3 places....

  1. NYC.  There's a lot of fraud activity there.
  2. California. Also a lot of fraud activity there as well.  And the final place?
  3. Florida.  Lots of it happening there too.

So NYC is mostly glitz and glam.  It's not a super nice weather place...

But the other two?  Florida, and California.  High fraud areas.

I can't help but wonder... Does nice weather correlate with higher fraud rates?  Maybe?  And how about her hatred of Florida and the people there?

Is there something to this?  I've often wondered about it.  Are people that would be more likely to commit fraudulent activity also be more likely to live in places with wonderful weather?  Or do they not care about the weather?  Probably not.  It's probably that people with money are more likely to move to places with nice weather.

Then those people are the ones that are targeted by the fraudsters.

Yes, there are good and bad people everywhere.  But I'd love to somehow see a statistical analysis of the ratio of people that commit criminal activity...

I feel like PA might be lower on the list.  Because... PA is boring.  And that's most likely why I may stay here.  I just feel like I've been through some traumatic crap in my life... and I kind of just want boring.

Sure, it would be nice to live a flashy life full of glitz and glam.  But I feel like the glimmer fades eventually.  I feel like the gloss starts to chip and peel.  And then living somewhere "fun" starts to wear.

And like the fraud detection girl from TD Bank...

You just get over it.  And then you move back somewhere that weather doesn't matter.  It's family, friends, enjoying your job, not being a victim of a crime...

Just being around good people and feeling like you have a mission in life are what truly matter...

Not sunshine.

Again.  I'm just thinking outloud here.  I don't know.  What I do know is that while PA is boring... I definitely don't mind my neighbors.  Most of them are nice and they even brought over soup and sent cards when my mom passed away.  Actually, true story, one of my neighbors, who used to live in Southern California and lived the sunshine life for many years working in the movie biz for Disney as a personal acting coach for Raven on That's So Raven, prefers life here in Philadelphia.  To him boring was exactly what he wanted after all those years.  He was all about moving back here from Cali.  We had a conversation about that years and years ago.  So maybe no one moves here for the weather.  But there are plenty of other good reasons to move here.  Or at least, stay here... For now.

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6Mar/160

I’m Jealous Of Mr. Flash

Mr. Flash is "The Keeper" that I've sort of... Imagined in my mind that my ex is madly in love with.  He has a couple of million dollar houses in South Florida.  And a nice ass condo on South Beach.  It's right on the beach.  With pool access too and a hot tub.

Keep in mind all I know about this guy is the last time I looked at my exes Instagram like, last summer, when she posted a photo of them getting Chipotle Mexican Grill together and her saying "You know he's a keeper when..."

Presumably when he buys you Chipotle Mexican Grill.  Which is grounds for keeper-ism.

Sometimes you fall in love with people... That's what I'm assuming happened to her last summer... Just like what happened to me when I met her like several years ago.

I keep hoping that I meet a new girl that captures my heart and makes me fall head over for new girl... And then I forget about anything in the world except new girl.  It's yet to happen.  There's never a new girl...

Instead my mind is constantly thinking about her and Mr. Flash.  How awesome their lives must be.  He takes her out on his yachts down there in Miami.  Or out to the finest restaurants South Florida has to offer.  Sometimes he drives one of his 17 sports cars... Or sometimes they take the limo.

And she's in disbelief that she could ever meet someone like him.  He's amazing.  He's like a cross between Matthew McConaughey and...  Leonardo DiCapro.  Only younger... because both of those actors are getting up there in age.

He's SUPER successful.  Self made multi majillionaire.  Maybe in finance or real estate.  Something Miami-ish.  He drinks sophisticated drinks and looks good in every thing.

He winks and it makes people swoon.  Even other guys are jealous of other guys that even get to sit near the two of them when they are out on the town.

There isn't a damn thing he doesn't wear right.  Even just lounging on the couch.... He's super hot.

Seriously, what the hell Mr. Flash?

I wish I could pull that off.  Mr. Flash.  How DO you do it?

He's cool and hot at the same time.  He never sweats.  Even in Miami.  HOW is this possible?

He's like the most interesting man in the world guy.  He's soo damn awesome.  And he keeps getting even more awesome in my mind as each day passes.

He's a genius.  His IQ actually can't be charted it's soo high.  He actually invented time travel but keeps it a secret because he knows that it has the ability to fall in the wrong hands.

He's so nobel and moral like that.  Keeping time travel a secret to keep it out of the hands of evil doers.  What a guy!  He often volunteers at the old folks home too.  Helps the homeless.  All kinds of admirable things.  He's a role model for children everywhere.  He volunteers to help under privileged kids.

His most recent thing is that he booked an entire island to fly her to... Scratch that, he just decided to buy the island... Because why not?  He had some extra cash lying around.  So he bought her an island to fly her to that he named after here.  On the island is a personal masseuse and personal chef, who knows all her favorite dishes.

Even though Mr. Flash is already the best cook there is.  He can cook anything and make it taste better than a restaurant.  Amazing culinary skills.  I'm soo jealous.

They built a resort on the island just for him to fly her there.  Fully staffed.

That's where he proposed to her.  The ring was so big that it actually started hurting her arm because it was just too heavy.  A heavy ass diamond the size of a golfball.  So she pleaded with him to buy her a smaller ring.  He reluctantly did.  But he had the other ring made into a necklace.

Speaking of golf.  He owns lots of golf courses.  He doesn't play though, because he has a habit of always getting a hole in one every time on every shot even though he isn't even looking at where he's driving the golf ball half the time.  He's big on owning lots of things.  Most of Miami is actually owned by him in some way or another.  He has a beer named after him.  Crazy!

HOW did you get a beer named after you?

That's just wow.

I can't compete with that.

He also has a drink named after him in Miami, and a dance move.  He got the key to the city... But he gave it back because he's super humble.

He's a smooth talker and the life of the party.  Everywhere he goes everyone knows him and has a reserved table waiting.  Even in the thick of snowbird season where it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to get in anywhere in Miami...

"I'm sorry we're all booked up for the night.... Oh... Mr. Flash!  I had no idea.  I apologize.  Right this way.  You and your lovely lady can sit right here.  Best table in the house.  The meal is on us."

He just winks.  The hostess swoons.  The whole restaurant swoons.

The Keeper... Mr. Flash.

 

 

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