The thing I like about meeting someone new
So everytime you meet someone new... be it a friend, or someone of romantic interest you start fresh. I love that. Clean slate. You can be funny with each other. You can laugh and joke. You can just keep things super fun and chatty and it's refreshing.
When you try and talk to people that you used to know or people from your past? It's soooooooo hard. It's like they are constantly hung up on things you might have done in the past or who you might have been. And we're always new and changing people.
So when I meet someone new I just love it because they can't judge me on my past. They don't know me. We have no history together. So they can't be angry or sad or mad or anything. It's just happy and glad and great and awesome. I really love it.
I think the goal is to just keep it as fun and easy going as long as possible. Then when things get all seriousface and sad or mad or fighty or angsty or any of that... it's time to part ways I suppose. Some people last longer than others... but it seems like eventually there's something that happens or some event and it's time to just move on.
I always have that in the back of my mind when I first meet someone though. I'm always like I wonder how long this person will stick around. I mean eventually all things end... all friendships end... all relationships... it just happens. I think it's the natural course of life... beginning-middle-end. I'm ok with that. I used to be like WHYYYYY?!?!?! But now I'm just like you know what? That's ok. Sometimes you might know someone a few hours... sometimes a few days... sometimes a few months... or if you get lucky a few years... I think knowing someone for decades is just very rare. But... just have to take it as it comes. I wonder who I'll meet next???? Just have to wait and see I guess!
I don’t fit in this world
I feel like i don't fit in this world. I don't like any of the things that all the people I know like:
I don't like watching sports
I don't like tatoos
I don't like going out and drinking every Friday and Saturday night
I don't like super loud music
I don't like going "down the shore"
I don't like partying all night.
I don't like spending all my money on vacations to far off places and booking cruises or going on tons of road trips
I don't like spending my whole paycheck
What do I like?
I like saving money.
I like staying in and working on creative things.
I like voluteering
I like making music
I like writing
I like reading
I like making dinner as opposed to going out to a restaurant.. I think restaurants are only supposed to be like maybe once every other week.
I like watching movies
I like listening to iTunes U while I work on things or go for a run or do dishes or when I'm driving back and forth to and from work
I like just spending time in with that special someone when I have a special someone to spend time with. My favorite thing is to just make some dinner and watch a movie.
It just feels like people I meet want to do all these always intense things and always be out and going and doing and going from one thing to the next and always spending every cent they make and then some.
It's just not me. I just don't think anyone like me exists. Everyone I meet is all about living WAY beyond their means. About going out multiple times a week to drink. And I don't know...
Half the time I don't understand how they fund it. I see all these status's on facebook and it's like how on earth do you possibly make that much money to afford rent and going out for dinner and drinks 3 or 4 nights aweek and take vactions 5 times a year and go on road trips every month and buy brand new cars and buy all these brand new clothes and all the latest gadgets...
I just don't understand. Either they must make a TON more than I do. Or they get help from mom and dad or a secret cash source. Or they are just putting it all on credit cards and eventually it will catch up with them.
Either way... I feel like... how am I supposed to ever meet a girl when I have nothing in common with all the girls I meet? It's so frustrating.
But I keep hoping that some day I'll meet a girl that likes to just be low key most of the time and doesn't need to always keep on going out and doing all these things and spending all this money. I keep hoping I'll meet a girl that doesn't care what the score of the game is because does it really matter? No. It doesn't. I'll meet a girl that cares about just spending time with me and not how many times a week she can go out and have drinks.
I guess the one thing I've always wanted is to just have a house and have someone to share it with and we both work hard and at the end of the day we spend a nice evening in watching some TV or a movie or sitting by a fire. But I guess that would have been something people would have done 100 years ago. No one does that anymore. People don't make dinner with each other. Or sit by a fire all evening.
They go out and go clubbing every night. Or they are constantly dreaming about their next trip to mexico. Or they are wanting to try every single resturant they possibly can at 50 bucks a plate.
I guess I'm just out of my time period or something. I just really don't fit in this world. This world of "life's a party, do a million things, drink lots of beer, tailgate, crash monster trucks into each other, fist fight each other, compare engine sizes, fight about which sports team has the best MVP, tattoo your whole face/legs/arms/chest up , spend your whole entire pay check as soon as you can now, worry about paying for it later" generation.
How I Know I’m Meant To Be A Celebrity
So... I really think I'm supposed to be a famous celebrity. I'm going to make it my goal to produce a song that gets in the hot 100 on Billboard.com. I also want to be in a movie. Not just a little role, but a major part in a major motion picture. I want to write a book that is on the NY Times best seller list. I want to hang out with the president whoever that may be at the time and I want to jetset between LA, NYC, Paris, London, Tokoyo... etc. I want to play lots of sold out shows. But most of all...
I love constantly meeting new people! I guess I don't know I mean most people like to hang out and see the same people over and over and over again. I really don't keep friendships or relationships for that matter more than a few months to a few years. I only have a handful of people that I talk to still after years and years. For the most part I don't keep in contact with anyone from highschool, or college, or any of the places I have worked. Even my current job... when someone leaves... I don't talk to them anymore.
It's kind like those people cease to exist. It's weird. But I do CONSTANTLY meet new people! And I LOVE meeting new people. I'd never get sick of that. I could just meet new people all the time. I think being a celebrity one of the requirements is that you love to just always constantly meet new people. I'd be REALLY good at that. I think I'm pretty good at the things I do in life right now. But I think I would be pretty fantastic at being a famous celebrity. Ever since I was a little kid... it's always been my dream to be a famous person. I've always wanted to just be recognized and looked at and regarded as different. Right now I'm looked at as different but it's in a weird way... not in an awe inspiring starstruck way. So one of my goals is to just keep working and working super hard to eventually become known around the world.
I really think that I was born to be a celebrity and that it's one of the reasons why I never felt like I fit in pretty much anywhere or anything I've done. I think the day I achieve international fame... I'll feel right at home with myself. I want to do it all, sing, dance, act, write, direct, produce, you name it! I want to do all that and then some.